Chapter 1
I stood there, just looking at the two caskets before me. I was the next one that was supposed to walk up to them, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I couldn't bring myself to go over and look into the eyes of them. The eyes of my dead parents. A tear found its way down my cheek at the thought. An arm draped itself over my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I didn't care who it was, as long as they didn't let go of me and let me cry into them. I finally stopped the tears from falling long enough to see who it was holding me. It didn't surprise me to see my brother Aaron was the one holding onto me. I felt my eyes start watering up again and buried my head into his chest.
"It's alright," he whispered into my ear. "You're going to be just fine. Do you hear me Allie?" I nodded slightly into his chest, believing his words. Aaron had never lied to me before, so I had no reason to think he would now. I turned back around and looked at the golden caskets sprinkled with water from the rain lightly falling down. My parents promised to be there for me no matter what. They lied. They left me and it wasn't even their fault. It was a stupid drunk driver's fault. A thought hit me.
I looked up at Aaron and whispered, "I promise I will never drink again." Aaron put on a sad smile as he looked down at me.
"I promise I won't ever either." I smiled back up at Aaron, equally sad. I looked at my parents again for a long moment before slowly getting out of Aaron's arms and walking over to them. I looked down at my mom and dad's pale faces. They seamed like they were just asleep, but I knew they were more than asleep. I rubbed the back of my hand along my mother's cold cheek.
Another tear found its way down my cheek and onto my mother's cheek, making it look like she was crying too, as I whispered to her, "I'll never forget you. I promise you I will remember you no matter what." I looked over at my father who was lying next to her and finished softly, "I'll never forget either of you." I let my hand drop to my side as Aaron pulled me away from them. I didn't bother to try and stop the tears as we walked away.
I looked up at him and asked quietly, "Can you take me home? I can't be here anymore." Aaron nodded and looked back at our parent's caskets as they were lifted to be laid into the ground one last time before taking me out to his truck to go home.
The drive home was silent. I didn't even bother to turn on the music when Aaron said I could. I just lost two of the most important people in my life, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to go on knowing I'd never have my parents there to help me through the rest of my teenage years. I suddenly wished I had spent more time with them. I wish I would have said yes when they asked to hang out somewhere. I wish I could do it over. I looked out the window and bit my lip to try and stop the tears from falling. I couldn't cry here. Not with Aaron trying to drive home. It would just distract him, and if we got into a wreck and I lost him, I know I would never survive.
Aaron looked over to me concerned and asked softly, "Do you need me to stop?" I shook my head.
"No," I replied softly. "I just want to get home." Aaron nodded and sped up slightly. As soon as he pulled into the drive way, I was out of the truck and to the door in an instant. Aaron slowly followed behind me and unlocked the door to our house. It was dark; dark and empty. I'd never felt so alone in my own home before, but there was a first for everything. I waked into my room and shut the door behind me. It was just as dark as the rest of the house, but at least here I could be alone. At least here, I could die without any interference.
I fell face first onto my bed, not bothering to change out of my black dress I had worn for the funeral service. I heard someone knock on my door, but I didn't care to answer it. I just wanted to be alone right now. I grabbed one of my many pillows and held it against my face, muffling my cries. Nothing else at that minute mattered. The only thing that mattered was not here and never would be again.
Tears escaped my eyes for hours before I finally got tired enough to try and sleep. I looked to my left out of my balcony windows. The stars were shinning so brightly on this hurtful day. I don't know how they could do so without bursting. My eyes gradually began to close, ending the day I wished I'd never have had to live in the first place. Ending the day my heart was torn from my body. Ending the last day I would show any kind of emotion for a long while.
The next month went by in a blur. I don't remember doing anything but sleeping and crying for the entire first week. I wouldn't eat or drink anything besides water when I started feeling too weak, and that worried Aaron quite a bit. He eventually had to go the doctor who prescribed a special pill for me that would give me the nutrition's my body wasn't getting from food.
At first, I wouldn't take the pill. I didn't want to, but I cared too much for my brother not to. I knew if I didn't at least take the pill, he would just die from worry. I took one pill every morning after the sixth day after the funeral. I lost almost twenty pounds that first week, and I kept losing more every day after that. I didn't go outside or talk to anyone.
Whenever Aaron would try and talk to me, I would just sit there and not even look at him. I knew it hurt him to see me like this, but I was hurting so much inside, I didn't have any other way to deal with it. Everyone I ever knew tried to get me to talk to them. His friend Daniel suggested calling in a therapist to try and talk to me, but Aaron said no. He said he didn't think that would help me at all, and I was thankful for that. I could barely stand people I knew trying to get me to feel better, let alone someone I don't know at all. Even his girlfriend Shannon, who I really loved, tried talking to me, but I didn't respond to anything.
Most days, I would just sit in my small couch next to my balcony and look out at the sky. Whether it was morning or night, the sky was the only thing that offered me any type of comfort. It was like the sky was talking to me at times. Whenever I was very sad, the sky would be a bright blue as though to try and cheer me up, and whenever I just talked through everything I was feeling, the sky was a grey color. It was the only thing that knew what I was going through. The only thing I would open up to.
After the first month went by and I still hadn't spoken to any person, Aaron decided to try and talk to me again by himself. He found me in my couch looking out at the rain. Rainy days were the worst kind because they made me more sad than normal. Aaron walked over and sat down next to me on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I felt so safe in his arms even if I didn't tell him that. He ran his hand through my hair humming softly in my ear.
He paused and whispered, "Please talk to me Allie. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you're going to be alright." I felt terrible that I was hurting him so bad, but I just wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet. I looked up at his sad face with a blank expression upon my own. His normally bright blue eyes were grey and filled with worry. I got out of his arms and walked out of the room. He followed me as I went into the kitchen and pulled out a banana. He watched me carefully as I ate it as though he thought I might choke on it any minute and leave him all alone. I finished the banana and looked to Aaron with tear filled eyes.
"They're gone," I whispered. "I'm all alone." Aaron rushed over and pulled me into a loving embrace.
"I know," he replied softly. "But you aren't alone. I'm here with you." I looked up to Aaron's face, the tears falling down my cheeks.
"I don't think I can stay here," I said even softer. "It's hurting so much to be around everything that reminds me of them." Aaron kept a blank expression.
He replied, "I know it does. That's why I called our aunt, Sue. She heard what happened, but she wasn't able to come down for the funeral. I first heard from her a few days before the funeral, and she said we were welcome to stay with her and her family if we ever wanted to. I called her back yesterday morning and asked if we could move up with her. She said yes. I knew you were hurting so bad, and I think if we can just get away from here, maybe you'll start healing a little bit." I nodded. Aaron knew me so well. He knew I'd want to get away from here before I even told him. I guess that's why he's the older brother. I could never do what he's doing.
I didn't eat anything besides that banana the rest of the day, but Aaron was content with just that. Later that afternoon he helped me pack up all of my things and put them into his truck. Aaron and I slept on the couch in the living room that night, him holding onto me protectively as I slept. I was still very depressed about everything, but I thought that maybe if I could get away, start new somewhere else, I might actually be able to get back to normal one day.
The next morning, Aaron put me into his truck and checked back through the house to make sure we didn't forget anything. I was sitting there in my pajamas, not even bothering to change into anything else this past month. Aaron returned and drove down the road. I looked out my window and watched as the house I had grown up in for my entire life got smaller and smaller with each passing second. I didn't notice I was crying till Aaron rubbed my cheek.
"Hey," he whispered. "Don't cry. This will be a new start for us. I promise things will get better." I nodded and wiped my eyes dry. We didn't talk much on the journey to my aunt's house. I didn't even know where exactly she lived. I turned to Aaron.
I quietly asked, "Where does Aunt Sue live?" Aaron didn't take his eyes off the road.
"She lives in La Push up in Washington. It's the reservation most of dad's side of the family grew up on. It's also where he met mom," he replied softly, being cautious as to my reaction when he mentioned mom. I had always been closest to my mother. I remained unfazed, but my curiosity flared slightly. I never really had much of a chance to get to know about our parent's history, and anything I could find out was interesting for me.
"Do you know anything about mom's childhood? About how she met dad?" I asked eagerly. Aaron smiled softly and nodded.
He replied, "Yeah, I know some. I used to ask her and dad a lot about when they were our age. Would you like to hear the story?" I nodded rapidly. I was always so busy with things I never had a chance to ask about it.
Aaron chuckled and continued, "Well, mom and her little sister Sue were visiting some family up in La Push. When they got there, that's were mom first met dad. Well, she actually met him when she was going to the store to pick up some groceries, but that's beside the point. As soon as dad laid eyes on her, he knew he was in love. Mom didn't think that way. She hated him with a very strong passion. I asked her once why, and she said it was because dad was super annoying when he was younger. More so than he was after they were married.
"Eventually, mom gave in to dad's constant pleading and went on a date with him just to prove they weren't a good match. Instead of proving she didn't like him once and for all, mom enjoyed herself. This is where their relationship formed. Dad was Quileute, so all his family lived on the Indian reservation. At first, mom and dad moved in together and lived there, but dad got a job as a research scientist.
"He got an assignment to move to Galveston, Texas. Mom decided to go with him. Since she was 18 years old, her parents didn't mind her moving away as long as she kept in touch. When they got to Texas, they got married. Five months later I was born. A few years later, you're born, and you basically know the story from then on." I smiled slightly when Aaron was done. I didn't have my parents any more, but at least now I felt somewhat closer to them.
The drive to La Push was long and boring. We stopped twice for gas, three times for bathroom breaks, and once for a meal after the first day of driving. It took two and a half days to get there, and I had slept most of the way. Aaron didn't mind that he had to drive the entire way. He probably felt safer driving the whole way in case I started crying behind the wheel after seeing something on the road like I did a few times.
Aaron woke me up when we reached the sign that said, "Welcome to La Push" on it. If we had been here for any other reason, I probably would have screamed for joy of not having to drive anymore, but instead, I just stayed silent.
I was here because I had no where else to go. I was here because my parent's died. I was here because I couldn't stand to live in my memories anymore.
I watched the trees out my window as we passed by. Everything was so different in La Push than it was in Galveston. There where trees almost everywhere, and it was always raining. Aaron had told me about La Push when we were driving up here, but I didn't think he was serious about it always raining until I saw how wet everything was.
We passed a couple houses while driving down the main road, and eventually we came to a fairly big house on our left that had two cars in front of it and a motor cycle in the open garage. I looked the house up and down. It had two stories and was white. It wasn't too terribly bad, and I'm sure it'll fit me, Aaron, Aunt Sue, Uncle Harry, and their children nicely. Aaron pulled into the drive and turned off the truck. For a while, we just sat there. He turned to me.
"We're here," he whispered. "Are you ready?" I sat still for a moment before nodding and smiling at him as best I could.
I replied, "Yeah. I'm ready. Like you said, this is a new start for us. It'll be good." Aaron smiled back at me and got out of the truck. I took a deep breath before doing the same. We decided to go ahead and carry our bags in since we didn't have that many instead of knocking then coming back. I was thankful for this, mainly because I wasn't ready to have anyone give me a look of pity yet. Aaron carried his three bags and my backpack while I got my other two bags. We left most of our things back home. All we brought was clothes, a few special possessions, pictures, and essentials we'd need like deodorant, toothbrush, ect.
Since I didn't have as many bags to carry, I put my two bags in one hand and knocked on the door quickly. I didn't even have to wait a minute before a woman answered the door who I assumed was Aunt Sue. I know that Aaron and I used to come up and visit with mom and dad, but it had been almost ten years since the last time we came up, and I didn't remember much about Aunt Sue or Uncle Henry or any of our family up here.
Although Aaron said she was our mother's sister, she looked nothing like her. They had the same dark hair, but hers was a lot longer and straighter than mother's was. Her eyes were a blue green mix instead of mom's sea green eyes, but the one thing that was practically exactly the same was their height. They both were only about one inch taller than I was. Aunt Sue beamed at us and embraced me in a hug.
"Oh Allie, Aaron, my, you two have grown so much!" she exclaimed. I smiled weakly and hugged her back as best I could.
"It's good to see you again too Aunt Sue," I replied softly. She let me go and hugged Aaron who tried to hug her back but failed. She ushered us inside and had us put our bags down on the floor next to the couch. I waited until Aaron sat down on the couch before positioning myself between him and the couch arm. I was uncomfortable and didn't want anyone to cause me to be more so by sitting next to me. Aunt Sue sat in a chair across from us, smiling.
"So," she started. "How was the trip?" My mind went back to the times I cried. I closed my eyes tight and stayed silent. Aaron picked up on this and replied.
"Okay," he said softly. "It was a little long." Aunt Sue nodded.
"I suppose it would be a long drive from Texas all the way here in Washington. Seth is upstairs, and Leah is out. Do you two remember them? Aaron might. Leah and you are the same age, and Seth is about the same age as Allie. Oh I'm just so glad you are here! I can't wait for you to see your uncle and cousins. Do either of you remember them?" Aaron smiled softly.
He replied, "Yes, I remember them. Is Leah still taller Seth?" I heard someone yell hey from the kitchen.
"I don't think I'm as short as I used to be," a boy with scraggy blonde hair muttered. I smiled up at him. Seth had always been my favorite cousin next to Leah. He always knew how to help me out of trouble and for that I was eternally grateful.
"Yeah ya are," Aaron retorted standing up. Aaron was huge compared to Seth. For some strange reason, about six years ago Aaron got a major growth spurt. He'd always appeared to be about twenty-one ever since then. Right before it happened, he had gotten sick for about two weeks during which time I wasn't aloud to see him. He grew at least six inches in a couple weeks and was a lot stronger. He also had this weird fever that he seamed to always have no matter what. The first couple weeks after he got better and I was aloud to see him again, I was freaked out by his temperature, but eventually I got used to it. Apparently, the growth and muscles didn't come down from our mom's side of the family.
Seth glared up at Aaron and challenged, "You wanna go at it Aaron? I bet I could beat you now in anything." Aaron raised an eyebrow and chuckled as though he had an inside joke he thought of. He poked Seth's chest.
"You wanna put your money where your mouth is squirt?" Seth smirked back at Aaron. Aunt Sue cleared her throat.
"Boys," she instructed. "Can't you wait until everyone is at least unpacked? You just got here." Aaron and Seth continued to smirk at each other until I pulled on Aaron's arm. He looked down to me with concerned eyes. He sat down.
"What's wrong?" he whispered. I closed my eyes and tried to keep tears from forming.
I whispered back, "Please wait a couple days before leaving me alone to do guy stuff. I don't think I can handle being alone just yet." Aaron nodded understandingly and put a hand on my knee to try and calm me down.
"Don't worry," he whispered even softer than before. "I'll never leave you alone." I nodded, believing everything he said. After Aaron said that, an awkward silence filled the air for what felt like forever. Aunt Sue stood up and smiled at the two of us.
"Well," she said cheerily. "Let me show you to your rooms. Leah's not here yet, but you'll get to see her later." We nodded and grabbed our bags. Seth offered to help Aaron with his four bags and took two of them. Aaron wanted to refuse, but he didn't want to upset me with anything. He reluctantly gave Seth two of the bags.
Aaron and my room's were right next to each other. Aaron's was white and had a blue bed next to the wall along with a desk and dresser. My room was a light shade of lavender and had a deep purple bed against the wall along with a desk, dresser, and small chair for reading. Aunt Sue left us alone to unpack our things saying she'd be downstairs when we were done. I was able to unpack my things fairly quickly and without any tears until coming to my back pack. I pulled out my laptop fine, my journal and sketchbook fine, and my art supplies fine. I started crying when I got to the pictures. Every time I pulled out another picture, the tears would fall down harder. I tried my best not to make any noises so that Aaron wouldn't hear me. I didn't want to distract him from his unpacking. I knew he had enough to deal with and didn't need a depressed little sister to deal with as well.
I had to stop completely to put my face into a pillow to stop me from crying out when I saw a picture of me, Aaron, and our parents at the lake only a week before they died. We were all so happy in the picture. We were laughing and building a sand castle on top of me. I buried my head into the pillow and cried for what felt like hours. Long arms wrapped themselves around me, but I couldn't stop crying long enough to see who it was. I turned my body and cried into the person's chest, holding onto them for dear life. It felt like if I let go, I would slip away from reality. I would actually die right then and there.
After a while, I managed to slow down the crying and look up at the person holding me. I was surprised to see Seth was the one holding onto me. I pulled away from him slightly and wiped my eyes. I had known him when I was little, but I hadn't seen him in years and here I was crying into his chest like I'd grown up with him. I didn't care. I felt so cold inside, and he was a source of warmth. I didn't know anyone who was this caring about me besides Aaron, but it made me feel better. I felt like I belonged somewhere.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly. I nodded slightly.
"Yeah," I whispered so soft I didn't know if he could hear me. "Thank you." Seth smiled softly and gave me a hug.
"Don't worry about it," he replied. "You're my baby cousin. I'm supposed to protect you." I chuckled.
"Baby cousin? I'm fifteen. I'm not a baby. Besides, you're only a month older than me." Seth chuckled.
He answered, "You're my baby cousin to me. Just face the fact, it's like you have another brother now that you live here with me." I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
"Oh no, not another brother," I replied, pretending to be scared. "I can barely deal with one!" I heard chuckling from my door. I turned and saw Aaron standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.
"Well, I guess you'll never escape having an older brother Allie," Aaron said mockingly. I glared at him playfully and got up along with Seth. I wiped my eyes a few times, making sure I had no tears left in them, and the three of us walked downstairs. Aunt Sue smiled when she saw us. She was sitting in the same chair she had been, but this time there was a man in the chair next to her. He looked a little bit like Seth, but he didn't have Seth's blonde hair.
Aunt Sue pointed to the man and said, "This is Harry, Seth and Leah's dad, and your uncle. Harry, you remember Aaron and Allie?" Harry smiled at us.
"Yes," he replied. "I remember you two. I remember when little Allie would get Leah's help and pelt Aaron and Seth with balloons filled with paint." I chuckled. I remembered doing that. Leah had always been my partner in crime when it came to messing with the boys. Aaron and Seth groaned at the memory.
"Please dad," Seth pleaded. "No need to relive the past." Harry chuckled and nodded.
"Alright, of course. Why don't you three go out and have bonding time. It's been a while since you've been together." Seth nodded and started to go toward the door. As we began to leave, Uncle Harry seamed to remember something suddenly and stopped us. "Can I speak with Aaron for a second?" he asked as soon as we opened the door. Aaron motioned for us to go on. Seth took me to the garage where his motorcycle was. Although I didn't know much about motorcycles, it was really neat looking, so I let Seth go on about explaining what kind of bike it was and other things like that. Seth even said that if I wanted to I could drive it later. The keys were always kept in the tool chest in the back. We kept talking until Aaron rejoined us a few minutes later. He looked like he was deep in thought when I saw him. This caused me to grow very concerned.
"Hey Aaron, are you alright?" I asked him worriedly. He looked up at me for a moment before rubbing his head.
"Yeah I'm alright. Hey guys, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to hang out this afternoon. I'm really sorry Allie, but I need to do something for Uncle Harry." My face fell. I loved Seth like a second brother, but Aaron was the person who had always helped me to keep a level head when I was majorly depressed, and I think this moment qualified as majorly depressed.
I softly replied, "But what am I supposed to do while you're gone?" Aaron's face seamed to get much sadder when I asked this.
He pulled me into a hug and whispered, "Don't worry. If you need me, just call. I'll stop whatever I'm doing and come to you as soon as you need me. I promise." I hugged him back but didn't reply. Aaron never left me much, so when he did, it was really important. I couldn't stop him from doing what he needed to do.
"Alright," I said finally. "Just join us as soon as you can." Aaron smiled sadly at me and nodded. He waved to Seth before jumping into his car and driving off down the road. I sighed and smiled softly at Seth. I couldn't let him know just how much I was dependent on Aaron just yet. He would probably find out soon enough, but I wanted to at least try and be normal for one day.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked him. Seth thought for a moment before smiling widely.
"How about we go down to the beach? We can swim and surf if you still know how to cuz." I smirked and poked him in the chest.
"Watch it Seth. I'll whip your tail with my wicked surfing skills." Seth started laughing causing me to glare slightly at him in a playful manner.
He put his hands in a defeated position before him and gasped out, "Oh yeah, I bet you could." I smiled and went back inside to change into my new bathing suit I bought last month getting ready for summer. I came back downstairs to find Seth already ready. I smiled at him and the two of us went outside.
"Let's walk there," Seth suggested. "It's not that far, and you need to get used to the land. Ya never know when you need to walk by your little old self." I rolled my eyes and grabbed my surf board out of the grass. That was one of the few things I left in the truck instead of taking inside when we first unpacked, but Aaron had went ahead and taken it out just in case I wanted to use it while he was gone.
After Seth got his board out of the garage, we started walking toward FirstBeach. I felt a lot better now than I did earlier. I guess moving here was a good choice since I was already starting to feel better after being left alone. Still, a part of me hurt and was scared to be without Aaron. Seth led me to the beach in about fifteen minutes. I was glad we lived so close to the beach because I had always loved to be around the water. It's always been like my second home.
Seth ran to the water as soon as we got there. I chuckled and began to set up a little area for us once we got out. I put down a towel on the sand and quickly applied some sunscreen before running out to be with him. We played around for a while, splashing and dunking each other until we decided to start surfing.
Aaron had never been very good at surfing, but he managed to stay up on his board most of the time. Usually, when ever the two of us would surf, I would go on low waves and stay close in case he lost his balance. Seth and I, on the other hand, were having a surf war. I had to use every single trick and move I knew just to stay even with him. In the end, however, Seth still won. I panted as we walked back into shore after a major wave caused us both to wipe out.
I dropped my board and pretended to bow to Seth while saying, "I bow to the champion." He laughed so hard his eyes started watering at my jester.
"You weren't so bad, but you'll never compare to my super awesome unmatchable moves!" he exclaimed doing a pose that said, 'I'm better than everyone else.' I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, well don't get cocky. Just because you're a little better at surfing doesn't mean I can't beat you at any other water sport." Seth raised an eyebrow.
"Is that a challenge," he asked mischievously. I swallowed before nodded while smiling at him.
I replied, "Yep. I can take you on no matter what it is." Seth smirked.
"Alright, let's have a little race then. First one to the dingy thing out there and back wins." I looked to where he was pointing and smiled.
"Okay, what kind of race? Paddling, swimming, or what?"
Seth smiled and replied, "Swimming. Backstroke." I sighed. The backstroke was my worst kind of swimming because I kept changing directions. I put on my most determined face though and held out a hand for Seth to shake.
He took it and I said, "Game on." Before he could realize what happened, I ran toward the water and dived in and got started. His eyes were wide for a moment before he ran into the water and started swimming. I was at least fifteen feet ahead of him though and was smiling brightly. As long as I could just keep my direction right, I'd win this one. I looked up to make sure I was still heading toward the dingy thing we were racing to. I adjusted my course slightly and made it there in record time. I held onto it for a second while catching my breath before starting back. I passed Seth who pushed me under the water with his arm.
I popped back up and glared at him as I continued swimming. It felt like I was back in one of my swim competitions in Texas, and there was a large crowd that cheered for me in my head as I swam into shore. Seth came in a few seconds later, and I glared at him. I went up and started poking my finger into his chest.
"You cheater!" I yelled. "You pushed me under!" Seth laughed and rubbed the back of his head.
"Sorry cuz, I didn't mean to push ya under. I didn't see you there besides, you got a head start." I continued to glare at him.
"Sure you didn't mean to. I'm not doing any more races with you Mr. Cheater." Seth laughed and rubbed his head some more.
"Oh alright. Hey, why don't we go cliff diving!" he proposed excitedly. "Aaron and I used to go when you'd come visit, but you've never been. I'm sure you'd have a blast." I found the idea exciting so I nodded rapidly in response.
"That'd be fun! Let's go." I ran in a random direction away from him before stopping in my tracks. I turned back around and asked, "Where do we go?" Seth chuckled at my sudden action.
He pointed in the opposite direction I had been running off to and said, "We go this way so we can climb up the cliffs." I followed Seth as he led us to a path that went strait up to the top of the cliffs. As we stood there looking over the edge, all my excitement about doing this earlier melted away and was replaced with fear. I backed up into Seth's chest.
"Um," I whimpered. "I change my mind." Seth chuckled.
"Don't tell me you're scared?" I glared up at him and crossed my arms.
I replied, "I'm not scared. I just don't think jumping one-hundred feet into freezing cold water where there are possibly super sharp rocks waiting to impale me through the heart is such a smart idea." Seth laughed and put his arm around my shoulders.
"What if I jumped with you? I can save you if something happens." I sighed and looked back to the edge, doubt creeping into me.
"I don't know…"
"Oh come on Al," Seth said putting on his best pleading voice. "You're the one who said it'd be fun." I sighed in defeat.
"Alright, but only if you come…" I didn't get a chance to finish what I was saying, for Seth grabbed a hold of me, ran toward the edge, and jumped at least ten feet forward. I started screaming and held onto Seth for dear life. After a second or two, I stopped screaming in fear and started screaming in joy. The adrenaline that ran through me was amazing as we fell down toward the water. I closed my eyes and held my breath a second before we hit the water. Seth had turned so he took most of the impact from the fall. I was thankful for that because I just know that if I was the one who fell into the water first, the force combined with Seth's weight would have crushed me like a soda can.
The water was so cold it caused my entire body to go numb. I held onto Seth as he swam toward the shore. As soon as we were out of the water, I started shivering. Seth hovered around me, worried. I tried to smile at him as my teeth chattered together.
"L-le-let's d-d-do it a-a-aga-again," I stuttered through my clattering teeth. Seth bellowed out laughter and rubbed a towel on my head.
"Na munchkin," Seth replied wrapping me up in the towel. "Maybe we'll do it again later. Right now, let's get you home so you can warm up." I nodded in agreement, ready to be warm again.
We practically ran home. Well, I practically ran home. Seth just ran to keep up with me. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder when we got into the drive way. I screamed in surprise and started hitting his back to make him put me down.
I yelled out, "Put me down!" Seth laughed and ran around on the drive way.
"But it's so much fun to mess with you." I narrowed my eyes and continued to pound on his back as we went inside. I heard Aunt Sue gasp when she saw Seth carrying me.
"Is everything okay?" she asked concerning. Seth nodded and pointed at me with his thumb.
"I'm just taking her up to her room. Don't worry, everything's fine." Aunt Sue sighed in relief and waved at me as I saw her when Seth took me upstairs. He dropped me on my bed before going to his own room. I sighed. Aaron always would throw me over his shoulder when we were younger just to annoy me, and now he had passed on the evil deed to Seth. I laid on my bed for a while before jumping up. I didn't want to pick out any clothes and change in the bathroom, so I grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom to shower.
I made sure the door was locked before shredding my clothes and getting into the shower. It's not that I didn't trust my brother and cousin, but I didn't want one of them accidently walking in on me. That would be awkward. I stayed in the shower for a good hour letting the hot water run down my back. When the water started to grow cold, I washed my hair and body and jumped out of the shower, literally. I miscalculated my jump and somehow ended up falling over the toilet and ended up on the floor.
"Ow," I mumbled while rubbing my lower back. Someone banged on the door.
"Allie," came Seth's worried voice. "Are you alright?" I sighed.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just fell," I replied looking at my legs. My leg was now bleeding slightly, again. When we were on our way home, I had tripped over a large rock and landed on a tree cutting my leg from my knee to the middle of my thigh. It had stopped bleeding when we got home earlier, so I didn't patch it up. Since it was opened again, I decided I should go ahead and bandage it up this time. I reached up into the cupboard and pulled out a roll of bandages. I used a washcloth to cleanse my 'injury' if you could call it that. Once I was done with that, I wrapped up my leg and slowly stood up. It hurt a little to stand on it, but it was bearable.
I wrapped my towel around my body and slowly cracked open the door. No one was outside, so I walked down the hallway and into my bedroom. I quickly changed into a plain black t-shirt and jeans and went back downstairs. Seth was sitting there along with an older girl I immediately recognized as Leah. I squealed in excitement and ran up behind her.
"Leah!" I exclaimed hugging her from behind. Leah was the sister I never had. She was surprised at first before she turned around and hugged me back.
"Allie! I'm so happy to see you!" I smiled at her after we broke apart. "How have you been?" My smile faltered for a moment, but I quickly fixed it.
"I'm awesome now. I've missed you so much. Do you want to spend the rest of the afternoon together? We have a lot to catch up on." Leah smiled and nodded.
"Sure, how about we go into town? We can shop, watch a movie, eat, and just hang out and catch up. Sound fun?" I smiled and looked over to Aunt Sue who was sitting on the couch.
I asked, "Aunt Sue, is it alright if we go into town? We'll be back later." Aunt Sue looked up from the book she was reading and smiled at the two of us.
"Sure, I don't mind. Just be back before eleven. School starts tomorrow." Since Leah had her own car, we didn't have to worry about asking to borrow anyone's, so we rushed out and sped into town. Leah and I took this moment to catch up.
"So what have you been doing?" I asked casually. "How are you and Sam?" Leah's eyes turned dark, and I just knew I'd hit a bad spot.
She whispered, "We broke up. He left me for my cousin Emily." My eyes widened in shock. Last time I'd seen Leah and Sam, they were planning to get married. Sam had even asked me the best way to propose to Leah! How could Emily ruin that?
"I'm so sorry," I whispered back giving Leah a side hug. She smiled weakly.
"It's alright," she replied. "I'm getting over it. They couldn't help it. I forgive Sam." I stared at her in shock. I could never forgive Sam if I was in Leah's shoes.
"Why do you forgive him?" I asked in disbelief. "You two were going to get married, and he ruined it so he could be with your cousin. That would be like my ex-boyfriend leaving me to be with you. That's just wrong!" Leah sighed and pulled into the mall parking lot. The two of us sat there in silence until Leah finally responded.
"You just can't understand," she said softly. "At least not right now. Maybe later you'll be able to understand." I sighed in response.
I said, "Fine. But when you think I'll be able to understand, I expect a full explanation." Leah chuckled at my trying-to-be-serious face.
"Deal." We shook hands on it. Leah smiled and stretched her arms out in front of her as far as they could go. "Now then, let's get into those shops. I have to make sure you get the perfect outfit for tomorrow." I smiled back at her and hopped out of the car ready to start my day.
The two of us got home later that night around 10:30. Aaron was waiting up for us when we got home. He smiled at me and gave me a bone crushing hug the moment I came through the door. I smiled back up at him never letting go of him.
"You have no idea how worried I was when I got back home and you weren't here," Aaron playfully scolded. I chuckled into his chest.
I replied, "I was with Leah. Perfectly safe from danger." Aaron rolled his eyes.
"You, my dearest sister, are never perfectly safe from danger. You attract danger to you wherever you go. It gets annoying sometimes ya know?" I rolled my eyes now in response.
"I'm just happy to be back with you. Don't leave again any time soon please. At least until we've been here for a while." Aaron's face softened. He pulled me closer to him and the warmth from his body radiated onto mine keeping me nice and warm.
"I'll try not to." I smiled sadly and the two of us stood there for a while longer until someone cleared their throat from behind us.
"I'm sorry to break up this beautiful brother-sister moment, but you, Allie, have school tomorrow, and we wouldn't want you falling asleep at the desks." Aaron and I pulled apart to see Aunt Sue standing there with a big smile on her face. I smiled back at her and nodded in reply.
"Alright Aunt Sue," Aaron said back to her. "We'll head up to bed. I agree with you on actually being able to stay awake while she's at school tomorrow. I wouldn't want little Allie here to end up failing a grade." Aaron held onto me and let me upstairs to my room. The two of us sat down on my bed and lay back looking at the ceiling.
After a while, I looked over to Aaron and asked, "When I'm at school, how will I be able to keep my cool without you around?" Aaron sighed and closed his eyes.
"Well, I've got some friends…"
"Already?" I interrupted. "We've not even been here a day." Aaron chuckled lightly.
"I kept in contact with the people I knew here from when we were younger. Now as I was saying, I've got some friends who have the same classes as you; there are two of them. Their names are Paul and Jared. I went up to the school earlier when I went out and made sure one or both of those two are in each of your classes so you're not alone. I'm going to come up during lunch every day to see how you're doing, and if it gets too much for you to handle, just pick up the phone and call me. I'll come to you as soon as you call."
I felt somewhat relived that Aaron was doing all of this for my sake, but I also was nervous about the whole thing. I didn't know who these Paul and Jared people were, and I wasn't very excited about having to be away from Aaron for more than a few minutes at a time. Earlier I was able to get through the day because Aaron told me he was just a phone call away, but I can't call him in school, and even if I do call him, I can't take him away from what he's doing. He wants to get a job and do things other twenty year olds do, like get a girlfriend. When we moved up here, he broke it off with Shannon because she wanted to stay in Texas, and neither of them wanted a long-distance relationship. Both took it fairly well and promised to remain good friends with each other. And also, I'm not a baby. I can make it a few hours without my big brother around.
"I love you," I whispered into the empty air. Aaron rolled over and pulled me into a hug.
He whispered back, "I love you too. I'll never leave you alone. You are always first in my life." I smiled weakly and crawled under the covers. Aaron stayed with me in my room, holding me close to him, until I eventually fell asleep. The only thing wrong with sleeping, nightmares haunt my dreams. Oh well. Not everything can go as desired.
They were fighting over me. I knew it. My fifteen year old brother, Aaron, held onto me tightly as I cried in my room. The sound of their screaming could be heard from here. I don't know exactly what they were fighting about, but I knew it was my fault.
"Why are they fighting?" I whispered softly into Aaron's chest. "Why won't they stop?" Aaron gently rubbed my head in an effort to calm me down.
"Don't cry," he whispered back. "They'll stop soon." Right after he said that, there was a loud crash downstairs that sounded like glass breaking. I gasped slightly and felt Aaron's arms tighten around me. For a nine year old, this was terrifying.
Aaron began shaking like he was angry. I looked up at him with a tear stained face.
"Aaron," I whimpered. "Are you alright?" Aaron's eyes were closed tight. He slowly stood up and let go of me causing me to whimper slightly. His eyes snapped open.
He embraced me once again and whispered, "Don't worry. I'll be back soon." I watched with sad eyes as Aaron left my bedroom and went downstairs. I could hear Aaron and dad yelling at each other from where I sat in the darkening light. With tears running down my face, I climbed off my bed and slowly walked into the living room where everyone was at.
"Why can't you just let it go?" Dad yelled. "It's my decision. Not yours." Aaron scoffed.
He replied, "Why can't you just admit you made a mistake? We need to go back." Dad glared at Aaron. Mom was standing off to the side rubbing her head in frustration.
"If we go back, we'll be trapped there forever. I won't allow my children to grow up in such a manor."
Mom stepped in, "What did Billy even say? What could he have said that made you so firm on never going back to the only home you ever knew as a child?" Dad laughed mockingly.
"He said they had a pest problem and needed help. He wanted me to come back up there, and it's something I can not do. The last time I was up there I…" Dad paused and closed his eyes in emotional pain. I watched him with concerned eyes. "I lost my sister…" he whispered. Aaron's expression softened for a moment. Dad glanced between Mom and Aaron for a moment before making his way toward the door.
"Where are you going?" Mom asked softly. Dad paused in the door way.
He replied, "I'm leaving. I'm tired of dealing with this. Everything has become such a bother now-a-days. I'd rather be on my own for now on." My eyes widened so much I thought they'd fall out. I rushed forward from my hiding place behind the stairs strait to where Dad was. I attached myself to his leg surprising everyone there.
"Please don't leave me daddy. I love you so much. Please don't leave me. I won't bother you ever again just please stay and be my daddy." Dad closed his eyes and looked away from me.
"I'm sorry Allie," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "You just don't understand." He shook me off his leg and opened up the door. Aaron's anger flared once more.
He stepped forward and yelled, "Do you not care that your nine year old daughter is crying? Do you not care that you are going to be hurting her for the rest of her life?" Aaron was now standing directly in front of Dad. He was a little taller than him, and it occurred to me that these past few weeks Aaron has gotten a lot bigger than he used to be. Dad narrowed his eyes at Aaron.
He yelled back, "You think I don't care? The only reason I'm leaving is because I care! You have no idea what's going on!" Aaron began shaking more viciously than before.
"David!" Mom called out. Dad looked back at her for a moment. The two of them had a silent conversation between their eyes before Dad nodded slightly. Mom rushed over to me and picked me up. She held me close to her as Dad tried to take Aaron by the arm and lead him out back.
"Don't touch me!" Aaron yelled out in anger. He looked back to where Mom was holding me and his eyes widened. He ran over to us and tried to get me away from Mom. Before he could touch me, Mom turned so that Aaron couldn't reach me. He grinded his teeth together in anger and what sounded like a growl came from his throat.
Aaron glared viciously at Mom and said slowly, "Give her to me now." Mom kept a determined face on her and held her stand.
"No Aaron. You're out of control. You could hurt her." Aaron clenched his fists. Dad swallowed hard.
He said, "Sally, give Allie to Aaron." Mom looked to Dad with fearful eyes. He nodded slowly toward Aaron. Mom hesitated for a moment but reluctantly handed me into Aaron's arms. He held me possessively close to him, and it was then I noticed that Aaron had grown much warmer. I looked up to him with tears still running from my eyes.
"Are you sick?" I asked softly. Aaron looked down at me with soft eyes.
"What?" he asked softly. "Why would I be sick?" I rubbed my eyes and shrugged.
I whispered back, "I just thought maybe you were sick since you're really warm." Aaron smiled sadly at me and wrapped his arms tightly back around me. Dad stood very tense a few yards away from us.
"Aaron," he said slowly. Aaron turned his head and glared at Dad. "Why don't you take Allie up to bed? She must be tired. It's really late." Aaron looked down at me then back at Dad. After a few minutes, Aaron nodded. He walked past Mom and up the stairs. My bedroom door was still wide open, so he walked through it and gently laid me down on my bed. He smiled at me and wrapped the blankets around me.
"I'll be back soon," he whispered. I smiled weakly up at him and closed my eyes. Aaron smiled to himself and kissed my forehead once more before leaving my room, shutting the door behind him. He went back down stairs were Mom and Dad were waiting.
Aaron had a blank face on as he looked strait at dad and said, "This isn't the first time like you think it is." Dad moved to say something, but Aaron held up a hand to signal him to be quite. "I know the basics, but I'd like to learn more. I'm going to go back up there for a while to learn about everything I can't learn on my own here. I will be back. I won't tell them where we are. I won't tell them anything about you. I ask that you keep Allie safe until I get back. Tell her I went on a field trip or something. Just don't tell her about any of this yet. She'll have to find out eventually, but not yet. If I come back and she's been hurt in any way, I'll come strait to you first. Do we have an agreement?" Dad nodded.
He stepped forward and said, "Aaron, I love you very much. You're my son. I only want to watch out for you." Aaron smirked.
"I understand," he replied. "But I don't trust you. You almost got Allie killed when she was only a month old. It's hard for me just to leave her for a little while now." Dad looked away in shame. "But I trust you enough for now. I'll be back in a month." Aaron walked towards the open door. He paused for a moment.
"Mom," he said softly. She looked at Aaron with concerned eyes. He smiled softly.
"Aaron," she whispered.
"See you when I get back." With that, he left out the door into the darkness. I watched him out my window as he disappeared into the darkness, and as the last piece of my beloved brother disappeared under the night sky, the remainder of my restless sleep turned into darkness as well.
