I opened my closet, and reached for the blue dress in the back. Carefully, I pulled it off the hanger. I kicked off my jeans and pulled of my faded t-shirt, silently slipping the dress on. I pulled my long hair over my shoulders and out of the way so I could tie the neck in the back.
Staring into the mirror on the back of my bedroom door, I swear I could hear his voice. He said, and I remember this clearly, that in this dress I was "more beautiful then the sun", and he had lightly kissed me on the cheek as he tucked a sunflower behind my ear. That night I felt like the most important girl in the world. That was the night Danny had purposed to me. I stared down at the ring on my finger, the ring I had refused to take off. I sighed and looked back into the mirror.
And the picture caught my eye. The picture, tucked carefully into the wooden frame of the mirror. The picture of the then bald Danny and I, laughing like there was no tomorrow. The picture that had been taken in the hospital.
I couldn't help it. A tear slid down my cheek and I screamed, at the top of my lungs. I cried and cried, not quiet crying, but the kind where your face pinches and you almost have to gasp for air, the kind of crying where it feels like the sadness will never leave, and the tears are just there to keep the sadness company.
Huddled behind my closed door, clutching my picture, half an hour later, the last tear dripped out of my eye and ran down my salty cheek. My head aching and my vision blurred, I reached up blindly for the doorknob.
I stumbled across the hall to the bathroom. Automatically, I flipped on the light switch. Leaning against the edge of the sink, wiping face hopelessly, I turned the water on. The cool washcloth eased my tear-crusted skin. Finished washing my face, I took a deep breath and stared into the mirror.
I tilted my head to the side, wondering about...everything. I stood like that for, maybe a minute. Then I tipped my head back up, and ran as fast as I could out the door.
I sprinted down the sidewalk in the dark, guided by the yellow street lights. People stared as I ran by, in my fancy dress and sneakers. I realized how cold I was, so I took a left and ran straight for the Good Will. I stopped to open the door, and walked into the store. It wasn't a regular walk though, it was a fast walk.
I power walked my way right to an open cash register, and set a grey hooded sweatshirt and a picture frame on the counter.
The person at the register eyed me curiously, then asked me to pay. I reached down and pulled the money out of my shoe. He asked me if I wanted a bag. Pulling the oversized sweatshirt over my head, I said no, I would not, thank you. I grabbed the plastic picture frame and stuffed it into my pocket.
Then I ran right out of that store. I ran all the way downtown. I was running away, from Danny's memory, his cancer, the friends I didn't have, the people I couldn't face. I had a long way to run, to get away from all that.
