Tesla rolled slowly off the mattress, managing to slip out of his partner's possessive arm. Throwing his underwear to the floor of the bathroom, he turned on the faucet not giving a damn if it was the cold or the hot one and jumped to the shower closing the translucent white curtains. It was the cold one, but he didn't care. There were nights where he loved to feel Nnoitra's hot body on him but this wasn't one of them.
As he stood under the running water, Tesla realized he hadn't felt that good in a while. Worries he thought he'd moved pass were returning to him. Things he didn't believe he'd feel again were coming back to him, and they'd made a knot in his gut. Tightening more and more as the days passed. It was a nasty sensation to say the least. Tesla had tried to shake it off but it looked like it wanted to stay.
Recently the only place where Tesla found peace was when he was touching water. It didn't matter if it was just washing his hands or doing the dishes. It felt wonderfully quiet. As if all of his worries were silenced by the elixir of life. Which was funny, because whenever he wasn't in contact with water he felt like drowning.
Tesla hadn't had much success in the great quest that was job hunting. The economy was bad; the rent on their apartment had to be paid. And if Nnoitra hadn't taken that job they'd probably be on the streets, and Tesla wouldn't feel this way.
It had all started one and half month earlier, when Nnoitra took a job as a body guard. Tesla knew for a fact that he hated the concept of protection because that meant someone strong had to put himself in danger or even sacrifice himself for someone weak. And Nnoitra loathed weakness. Tesla felt useless and guilty so he tried not to complain or say something bothered him at all. He just wanted to make Nnoitra happy.
In the first two weeks everything went smoothly, he'd leave for work in the middle of the morning and would usually come home at 9, 10 PM really pissed.
Tesla was fine with that, he could handle pissed.
Then Tesla's emotional state started wavering as he watched Nnoitra come home drunk every night smiling and laughing with lewd thoughts he would later turn into actions.
Apparently, and these were Nnoitra's words, in the middle of all those shitheads there was a nice guy. Tesla was surprised, to say the least, because he'd never heard Nnoitra call anyone nice. Ever. Meaning this Grimmjow person was either like Nnoitra, or even worse if that was even possible. Tesla hopped it wasn't.
That was what their relationship was like now. They had breakfast in the morning and talked about the weather or something as trivial as that, when Nnoitra's hangover allowed it and had sex at night.
Tesla turned off the water noticing he didn't feel his toes anymore. How nice, he thought, nothing like a good old cold shower to remind yourself your lover might be cheating on you.
He opened the shower curtain and wrapped a towel around his waist, walking over to the bedroom.
Tesla went over to the closet, trying to ignore the naked man sprawled out on the bed.
"Damn it." He muttered going over one of his drawers. He forgot to do the laundry, so most of his shirts were dirty. It didn't matter that much though, as long as Nnoitra had clean clothes it didn't really matter what he wore.
Tesla didn't really feel like caring about catching colds or anything at the moment so he put on a pair of boxers and went to the kitchen.
'Thinking about it won't make it go away' Tesla reminded himself. It wasn't like he could ask Nnoitra, or could he? No, he'd never forgive him… Or if it was true he might just admit it…. But it was best not to provoke him…
Tesla heard water running. 'Nnoitra-san woke up.' He sighed.
He sneezed.
'I'm probably just imagining things anyway!'
…
'Damn, last night was a long night.' Nnoitra thought when his massive headache finally woke him up at… 'What the hell is that?' He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. Everything was still blurry. 'Damn that Grimmjow' Nnoitra did not feel like going to work today. Or move at all actually. Just opening his eyes was very tiresome.
"Fuck" He cursed under his breath. It was 8AM. Nnoitra jumped out of bed, almost immediately after losing balance and crashing into the wall near the bed. His head was killing him; his eyes were killing him… Pretty much everything was killing him really. It felt like someone was hammering his head over and over and over again. He probably shouldn't have stayed out that late the night before, today they had to go in early because some shit he didn't pay attention to was going to happen. It didn't really matter anyway. As long as his shithead boss didn't get badly hurt or die in the process they'd still pay him so, why care?
Nnoitra walked slowly to the bathroom and turned on the hot water. Ten minutes later he was already out of the bathroom with his hair mostly dry with a pair of boxers on. Then Nnoitra put on a plain white buttoned-down shirt slightly opened at the top, showing his collar bone with slack black pants. Picking up a black blazer to match the pants, Nnoitra strolled out of the bedroom.
From the kitchen came a wonderful smell Nnoitra assumed was his breakfast. Tesla stood over the stove.
…
"Breakfast will be ready in a minute, Nnoitra-san." Tesla said glancing over his shoulder at him.
"Yeah, sure." Nnoitra slouched on a chair rubbing a hand over temples, eyes closed. "Ugh, my head…"
"Hum… Nnoitra-san?"
"Yeah?"
"If you're feeling bad, you could stay home today." He plated the salmon and placed it on the table not looking at his partner's face.
"Well duh, I'm feeling bad. I'm feeling hungover as hell!" He sighed "Besides, I've told you today's special"
Tesla went for the tamagoyaki "Well they have Grimmjow-san, right? You could stay, he can handle it. He's amazing, he can handle anything. That's why you like him so much." He regretted saying those words as soon as they came out of his mouth.
Tesla almost dropped the plates in his hands facing Nnoitra's expression. He glared at him, his anger etched all over his face. Why did he open his mouth? Why!? He knew the day was special, of course he knew. Nnoitra had even told him he was probably going come later than usual. So he was going to spend more time with Grimmjow, right? And that was exactly what Tesla didn't want. But still!? Ugh, God! He should not have said that.
"What are you saying, Tesla?" Tesla said nothing, still in the same place as before, looking at his bare feet. "What are you saying!?"
Tesla shivered a little and looked at Nnoitra. The man was now standing, his arms falling on his sides, with his hands formed into fists, his knuckles white from the force.
"I… I'm sorry, Nnoitra-san. Forget I ever said anything." He smiled a little and looked away, putting the plates on the table as if nothing was happening. He turned to the pour the rice in the bowls.
When he was done he turned to the table, a set smile on his face. They would forget all about it. Yeah, and things would go back to how they were. Before Tesla screw up and pissed off Nnoitra.
Out of nowhere, one of Nnoitra's hand was on Tesla's wrist.
"Tesla—"
Nnoitra suddenly stopped talking. A tear streamed down Tesla's face. Nnoitra pulled Tesla a little closer to him, their faces inches away. Nnoitra's grip tightened around Tesla's wrist. He'd have a bruise when this was over, he thought. He observed Tesla's face carefully, his own face still showing his deep anger, one Tesla knew too well not to provoke.
Those words, he thought staring into the man's dark eye, had been a moment of weakness. Nnoitra probably realized it himself, deep down.
Tesla always knew Nnoitra wasn't the most devoted lover. He never once talked about his feelings towards him, but Tesla always knew that wasn't going to happen. He knew it back then, and he knew it now. It was small things that made him realize how much Nnoitra liked him.
A kiss in the cheek out of nowhere; the times when Nnoitra took special interest in only pleasuring Tesla before doing it; at night he'd grab Tesla and pull him against his chest, wrapping his arms around him… Those were the things Tesla treasured the most, and no words were spoken between them in those precious times.
Except they weren't like that anymore. Not since Nnoitra took that job. Now it was just sex, after a night of drinking, smoking and doing God knows what else with Grimmjow! It didn't even feel good anymore, it felt wrong. Tesla didn't want to be touched like that ever again!
Tesla opened his mouth to say something but the words died in his mouth. What could he possibly say to Nnoitra right now that wouldn't make him more pissed!? This was all Grimmjow's fault!
Nnoitra let go of his wrist and stormed out of the apartment leaving Tesla staring at the cold wooden floor.
The strength seemed to pour out of him and Tesla dropped to his knees, being overwhelmed by the hiccups. He rubbed his hand on his hurting wrist. Salty drops falling on it.
'No.' It wasn't Grimmjow's fault. It was his fault and his alone, with his petty thinking and baseless doubts. Oh, he'd done it alright.
'Will he come back?'
