A poem: Loves me, loves me not

Loves me… loves me not… loves me

I see the way you look at her wishing, hoping

That someday she'll love you back.

You were so busy trying to get her to love you

You didn't notice the one who already did…

Your love is unrequited

But I don't want to tell you that

I don't like destroying hope

for it's the one thing keeping me up

Keeping me alive

Loves me…loves me not…

Curse the flowers

They never tell the truth

One time its yes another its no

Loves me…loves me not…

So why am I still relying on them?

Loves me…loves me not…

I'm 98% sure you don't love me back

I still have faith on that 2%

Because I don't usually let myself fall for others

But with you I never saw it coming

Next thing I know I was falling

Hoping something would catch me and help me to my feet

In other words something to help me get over you

You look at me

You see her

You smile at me

You grin at her

You hear me

You listen to her

You like me

You love her

You probably only see me as your best friend

And you see her as you future wife

Your soul mate

I was told that opposites attract

So maybe that's why I was falling for you

And even though we are opposites

You don't feel different at all.

Loves me…

You come to me for advice

Should I ask her out?

Which one will she like better?

Do you think she'll like my hair?

I smile and answer every single one of them

No matter how much it hurt

And watched you get together with her

When I kept seeing myself in her place

I was 98% sure you didn't love me back

I kept faith on that 2%

Loves me… loves me not…

Cursed flowers

Here I am now

Thinking

Visualizing

What could have been our future

I am enveloped in darkness

The tears fall freely down my cheeks

Ruining the mascara

We were supposed to go to that dance that you forced me to come to

Remember?

I bet not

I have lipstick on, eye shadow, and I'm even wearing a dress

All for you

And I get nothing in return

More tears fall, landing on my gloved hands

I shake my hair out of my messy bun

Prepared to walk home in my high heels

But I'm paralyzed

I keep seeing you with her

More tears

Now, I don't care

I finally have enough strength to walk home

I glance back at the building where the dance was taking place

It doesn't matter anymore

Morning arrives

I get up early like I always do

I walk to our tree

Remember?

We used to swing together when we were little

Not minding how close our bodies were

I sit on the wooden board

We hadn't been here since you got with her

I silently rock back and forth

Again tears come to my eyes

I can't stop them

Because I didn't want to

Because no one was there

To tell me that everything was alright

That it was okay

At that moment I felt so alone

I hear someone approaching

I do not look up

I do not care anymore

And then you speak my name

I slowly look up

Hating myself for being so weak

Your face is also tear streaked

I knew that look

She had broken up with you

You expect me to run over to you

To hug you

To tell you that it's ok

But I will never do that

Especially now

I look down at my hands

Pushing down any desire to rush to your side

There is silence

Then I hear you walk over

And your hands push my back gently

Making the swing croak and move

My hair gets in my face

I make no move to push it back

It stays like that for a few minuets

Again, silence

I stand up getting off the swing

I hear you walk towards me

And I'm ready to counter anything you say

I'm ready to hurt you

Because you hurt me

You wrap your arms around my waist

Your face nuzzled into my neck

"I'm sorry"

And I know that you've realized

That you've finally noticed me

I was 98% sure you didn't love me back

Thank god I kept faith on that 2%

Loves me…loves me not…Loves me