Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Star Wars or the Clone Wars.
AN: I was going to post this in the Shaving Cream, Stars, and Muffins story but figured this needed to stand on it's own.
Your Call
-x-
'Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes
What's your fantasy...
Her spirits were high and the end of the war was in sight. Ahsoka Tano, recently having become a full-fledged Jedi Knight, was on her first mission. The Council had sent her to Endor to scout out some suspicious Separatist activity. Anakin Skywalker, her old mentor, had insisted that his clone captain Rex accompany her.
Ahsoka was getting worried about her old Master. He had been acting strangely since Dooku's death. She sensed almost overwhelming and tangled waves of anxiousness, confusion, and fear radiating from him at times. When she asked if he was feeling alright, he would smile that trademarked crooked smile of his, mask his emotions, and tell her he was fine. She never believed him. She hoped the end of the war would see to the end of what ever was bothering him.
The trip to Endor was oddly quiet. Neither Ahsoka nor Rex could muster up the will to speak. The silence weighed heavy in the air. It was so thick, the Togruta thought she might be able to cut it with her lightsaber if she tried. However, Rex broke it for her.
"So..." His tone sounded awkward. "How's... how is it being a Knight?"
They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for a few months since she went back to Coruscant to take the Trials. Ahsoka had missed him (probably more than she should have) and their greeting twenty minutes ago had seemed too formal. She could tell that now he was trying to be his old self.
She shrugged. "It isn't all that different," she said. Her hand went to were her Padawan braid had once hung from her Akul tooth headdress. She frowned. "Skyguy still treats me like a youngling, though."
One corner of Rex's mouth turned up in a half smile. "I still remember when you first called him that."
Ahsoka remembered too. Rex had laughed out loud and Anakin had glared at him. That had also been when she had first met Rex. Then, he had been doubtful of her ability to fight. She had soon proven him wrong. But that didn't stop him from becoming one of her best friends. He was always there after a particularly hard battle and especially when brothers were lost.
It always baffled Rex how much Ahsoka cared about him and his brothers. She insisted that none of them were expendable, that they were all special, and she would always remember each and every one of them. Rex was honored to be held at such a high esteem but wished she would understand that, if the situation called for it, it was better she live and he die. Maybe someday she would see.
Silence again consumed them. It seemed like an eternity. Ahsoka wished that they were at Endor and that this strange awkwardness would end. Finally, she couldn't take it any longer. "Why aren't you saying anything?" she demanded.
She thought she saw him flinch. He stared at her questioningly. "What is there to say?"
The Togruta found that she had no answer. What was there to say? She was frustrated with herself. Come one Ahsoka, this is Rex! You can talk to him about anything! She sighed and stared out the transparasteel window at the white tunnel of stars whooshing passed in hyperspace. "Not enough," she answered distantly.
Rex continued to look at her. He had watched her grow for the last four years. Her skinny form had fleshed out into the graceful and toned features of a mature young woman. Her lekku had lengthened some but her montrals remained short points rather than tall horns. Her eyes were still large and still reflected the child that remained within.
He had always enjoyed her eyes. They were as blue and wild as the ever churning seas of Kamino.
He almost didn't hear her voice as she anxiously called him by his formal title, "Captain?"
"Sir?"
"Are we..." She turned her beautiful eyes to gaze into his dark brown ones. "We're still friends, right?"
Now what had made her doubt that? "Of course we are," he said.
She nodded as if to reassure herself. She had just seen something unsettling, to say the least. She wasn't sure if it was a random thought or a vision... no, she knew it was a vision. She had seen Captain Cody and Master Kenobi. Cody had suddenly turned and fired on Kenobi, Master Aayla shot down by Captain Bly, Master Plo blown up by his squad. Then she had seen Fives and Echo striking down Padawans and younglings in the Temple. Her own Master consumed by fire. The last had been the worst image; a demonic being clad completely in black.
Ahsoka shook her head to clear it. "Rex?"
He was getting concerned now. "Yes?"
She bit her lip before continuing. "Promise me that you'll always be my friend," she murmured, gazing intently into his familiar earthy eyes.
Rex stared back at her. He had known Jedi long enough to know if they had had a bad vibe. Something had scared her. He nodded. "Ni vorer," he said. "I promise."
Ahsoka couldn't help but smile. She loved hearing him speak Mandalorian.
-x-
At last, they reached Endor.
Ahsoka pulled on a hooded camouflage poncho while Rex dawned his helmet and checked the charge on his blaster rifle. On an unspoken signal, the two left the small ship and headed into the thick forest. They hiked for almost two hours before coming across a scouting party of droids.
Ahsoka's blue eyes flashed with excitement. Dismantling clumsy battle droids was one of her favorite things to do. She Force-called her lightsaber into her hand as Rex cocked his rifle. Both knowing the plan, Ahsoka ignited her 'saber and leaped into the middle of the group of droids, Rex covering for her back with blaster fire.
There were only a dozen droids so the battle was over in about a minute. Neither Togruta nor clone had broken a sweat. Ahsoka flashed him a cheeky grin. Rex would have returned it, but he was wearing his helmet, so simply nodded in acknowledgement and gave her a thumbs-up.
It's just like old times, Ahsoka thought. Then the smiled fell from her face. With the war almost over, Rex and the other clones won't be needed anymore. And that means... She refused to finish the thought.
Rex noticed her cheerfulness drop. "Commander?" he addressed her by her formal title. "Is something wrong?"
She debated answering but decided to voice her thoughts. "What happens next, Rex?" she asked.
"Sir?"
"What happens when we finish this mission?"
What was she getting at? "We go back to Coruscant and repor-"
"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "What happens to you? And the rest of the clones?"
Oh, now I get it. This again. "Ahsoka..." He too shook his head then took off his helmet, setting it at his feet. He tried to seem reassuring as he spoke. "I speak for all of my brothers when I say this. I'm honored that you think of me as an equal and that you treat me as such, but you must remember what we really are. We are clones, flesh-droids, bought and paid for, trained solely to fight and to die for the Republic. When this war is over and everything is said and done, we'll be put into cryostasis to temporarily halt our accelerated aging until we're needed again."
Ahsoka let him finish this time. This wasn't the first time he had run this speech by her. She narrowed her eyes. "Don't give me that shabla osik Rex," she retorted, throwing in some Mandalorian curses she had picked up. "Why can't you just tell me how you feel?"
"It doesn't matter how I feel-"
"It does to me!" She grabbed his shoulders a shook him, though not vigorously. "Why can't I get you to understand that? You're not a flesh-droid, you're not a slave! You have a choice! You chose to be my friend, didn't you?"
Rex was temporarily stunned by her outburst but found himself nodding conferment to her question. Ahsoka continued her rant.
"And you chose to be there for me when we lost men, even when you yourself were grieving their loss. And you chose to be there for me after every hard battle." Her expression was changing from stern to sorrowful. "Why can't I make you see how important you are Rex? Why can't you see how much you mean to me? I love you Rex." She halted on that last sentence, pressing her lips together tightly as a young child would after saying something they knew would get them in trouble. Her gaze fell to the ground and the blue stripes of her lekku darkened in a flush. Attachment was forbidden in the Jedi code. Now that she stopped to think about it, she realized she had loved him for a long time.
It took all Rex had to keep his jaw from slacking. He watched her eyes drop from his face and her headtails burn. He had seen enough holovids to know what a confession of this sort looked like and how it was supposed to go. Unfortunately, this was real life. They couldn't whisk themselves away to some backwater planet and live out the rest of their lives in some "happily ever after". Besides, she was a Jedi Knight and he was a genetically altered clone, bred for battle and loyalty to the Republic. He couldn't return her feelings... even if he wanted to.
Rex gently grabbed her arms and pulled them away from him and back at her sides. She still didn't look up. He fought for something to say, something to reassure her and make it all better between them. "Gedet'ye Ahsoka," he pleaded. "Look at me."
Very slowly, her beautiful blue eyes traveled up his scuffed and dirty armor to his bronzed face. He still didn't have anything he could say. There was nothing to say. "Ahsoka..." His head leaned down toward her.
Ahsoka knew what was coming. She wasn't afraid. There was no one else here, no one would ever know. She felt his warm breath on her cheek and her eyes began to drift shut. She waited, mouth partially open.
The kiss never came.
Rex jerked back when his comm. link beeped. Disappointment written all over her face, Ahsoka backed off and Rex pressed the button to see the message. It was Senator Palpatine. His message was short and to the point. "Execute order sixty-six." The holographic image then blipped off.
Ahsoka stared at where the image of Senator Palpatine had been then up at Rex. "What's order sixty-six?" she asked carefully. She sensed a wave of desperately suppressed panic radiating off of him. He didn't respond. "Rex?" she tried again.
After several minutes and jumbles of mixed emotions, he finally seemed to snap out of it. He blinked several times and looked her over as if searching her for an answer to an unspoken question. His lost expression turned solemn. "Ahsoka," he spoke very quietly and very seriously. "Listen to me very carefully."
He didn't get a chance to say any more.
The Togruta's lekku suddenly stiffened and her eyes focused on some point beyond him. "No... no, no..." The vision she had seen on the ship was happening now. She felt the Force-signatures of the Jedi she had known all of her life just blip out of existence. She heard their cries of pain, confusion, and betrayal. "NO!"
"Ahsoka!" Her knees buckled and Rex instinctively reached out to steady her. He knew what was wrong.
Her eyes glistened with tears as she focused back on him. "Rex..." she sobbed. "What's happening? Why are they doing this?"
"The Jedi have betrayed the Republic," he answered quietly. "They must be eliminated."
Ahsoka shook her head numbly. "No," she moaned, her tears trickling down her cheek. "Never... the Jedi would never do..." Her sentence was lost to her cries. She pressed her face against his chest, ignoring how hard his armor was. Dirt from his chest plate smeared on her cheeks but she didn't care.
Rex couldn't believe it any more than she could. Ahsoka had never done anything wrong except bend orders a little, just like her old Master, General Skywalker. She obviously had no part in what ever the other Jedi might have done or planned to do.
But orders were orders. He had a duty to the Republic.
Then he remembered what he had promised her on the ship on the way here. He was her friend. She loved him... and he loved her. He couldn't betray her, he couldn't kill her. There was only one way to go about this. He only hoped Ahsoka would forgive him.
Tenderly, Rex took hold of her shoulders and gently eased her away from him. "Ahsoka," he softly called her.
She sniffed and looked up at him, her gorgeous blue eyes bloodshot.
"You have to kill me."
She stared as if he had spoken Huttese then narrowed her eyes. "Don't say that Rex. You don't have to-"
"Yes I do," he insisted, cutting her off. "If I don't kill you, I'm guilty of treason and I'll die anyway. If I'm going to die... I'd rather go honorably, by your 'saber."
All the while he was speaking, Ahsoka was shaking her head. "No Rex. We don't have to do this. Remember what I said? You have a choice. We could-"
"Run away and live the rest of our lives in fear of being discovered and killed?" he finished for her. "That's no life for us, for you."
Fresh tears glazed her eyes. "But Rex... you..."
"You can blend in more easily than I Ahsoka. As long as you never use your lightsaber, never call yourself a Jedi, you're a normal person. But me, I'm a clone. I look like a clone and always will. The Republic army is made up almost entirely of brothers that look exactly like me. I can't hide." He let go of her and took a step back. "If we left together, I'd endanger you... Do it for me Ahsoka, as a friend."
She blinked her tears back furiously as she contemplated his words. She knew he was right. There was virtually nowhere he could hide. He would get them both killed eventually.
There was no other way.
In slow motion, her hand moved toward her lightsaber. Her delicate fingers grasped the hilt. Rex watched as ignited the jade green blade, the light from which softly illuminating her upper body and face. Her tears ran anew as she pointed the tip of the blade at his heart. Her hands trembled. She tried to move, to thrust forward and end it... but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
The blade retracted as her arms dropped to her sides. "I can't do it Rex... I can't..."
He sighed and came forward, taking hold of her wrists. He lowered his head. "Ahsoka..." he chidded, breathing her name and finished what had almost started just minutes ago.
Ahsoka gasped when Rex captured her lips with his own. She soon relaxed, melting into his embrace as if they had done this many time before in the past. His lips weren't as rough as she had expected and he tasted faintly of the rations that they had eaten not too long ago.
Rex was careful with her at first but when she pressed harder against him, he pulled her closer with one arm. He slid his other hand down to grasp Ahsoka's, the one still holding the lightsaber. Just a little longer, he thought sadly. Just a little longer...
She was so soft and delicate. We was amazed at how fiercely she was clinging to him. He wished with all of his being that there were another way. She was already distressed from the deaths of the other Jedi. Ahsoka was strong... but was she that strong?
Rex held her closer, protectively, devotedly. She would have to be. She would be, for him.
As he deepened the kiss, the hand that held hers, the one with the lightsaber, he gradually brought the hilt to his chest and pointed it toward his heart. He felt strangely calm, his heart beating patiently.
Ahsoka didn't realize until it was too late what Rex was doing.
He paused the kiss long enough to whisper to her. "Be kotyc Ahsoka," he breathed. "Ni kar'tayl darasuum... I love you."
He found the activation switch.
Ahsoka watched in horror as Rex closed his eyes. She heard the familiar zzzzhhrrrrumm of her lightsaber activating. "No!" she cried but she knew it was too late.
Rex slumped against her and she caught him, wrapping her arms around him and carefully lowered him to the ground. With his last breath, he smiled affectionately at her despite his pain and wiped away a tear that managed to seep from her beautiful churning pools shimmering with sorrow. "Shereshoy..." he rasped, his own earthy eyes reflecting his devotion and regret for it having to end this way.
He convulsed once and it was over. Rex was gone.
Ahsoka's face crumpled and she fell against his now lifeless body, heaving with sobs. How could he? How could he do this to himself, to her? They had been friends, even more than that, for years. They had just now begun discovering how much they truly meant to each other. And all of that had ended with the flick of her own lightsaber.
At the thought of her lightsaber, she sat up enough to see the hilt. It was still in her hand and had deactivated some time ago. She glared at it as if it were the very source of the war she had been fighting for so long. The Togruta's first impulse was to toss it as far away from herself as possible. But she held on to it. She needed it for one last task.
Wiping her tears away, Ahsoka picked up Rex's helmet and ceremoniously placed it back over his head. Then, using her bare hands, she dug him as proper a grave as she was able. With all of the reverence she could call on, she lowered Rex into his grave.
As Ahsoka buried him, she sang a song that he (and the other clones) had taught it to her. It was a Mandalorian marching song called 'Vode An'. Brothers All. She knew it wasn't a proper burial song and she couldn't remember all of the words but it served its purpose.
When the grave was covered, Ahsoka found a big enough stone. With her lightsaber, she sliced it in half, leaving one side smooth. She branded a few brief words about Rex in life onto the flat side and set it at the head of the grave. Her task done, she set her lightsaber on top of the stone. She kneeled. "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc. Ni partayli Rex, gar darasuum," she murmured. It was a Mandalorian death vow that meant, "I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal." Now that she had said it, she must say it for the rest of her physical life in his memory.
Ahsoka would do so with as much devotion as she would have given him were he still with her.
-x-
'Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to
To make you mine
Stay with me tonight
AN: Lyrics are from Secondhand Serenade's 'Your Call'. When I first heard this song, I immediately thought of Rex and Ahsoka and this ficlet just kinda fell into place with the lyrics. That and I thought there are too many fics out there where poor Ahsoka dies either at Rex's or Vader's hand (or herself... or somebody else).
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Translations, hehe... Ni vorer means I promise, gedet'ye means please, kotyc means strong, Ni kar'tayl darasuum means anything from I love you to I'll always be your friend, and shereshoy means to love life and live it to the fullest.
Please let me know if you want to see a nonromantic version.
