Whilst I don't hate Hannah - it seems that Hannah hating is quite a popular pastime amongst fanfickers. So, for your enjoyment (hopefully) I decided to post this unrealistic, OOC, AU piece. If there is interest - i will post more. Please enjoy!

I don't own Bones.


"I'm pregnant… you're the father."

"No way!" She fumed, flicking madly back to the dedication page…

"To Seeley Booth: My partner, my muse, my love, and now my future shared."

The sharp clap echoed off the empty walls as Hannah snapped the book shut with a wide eyed look of shock.

"Oh… My… God!"

She threw the latest creation of the Forensic Anthropologist/ Author/now Number One Arch Nemesis onto the coffee table and stood to pace the motel room.

Hannah was in DC for one of her ex co-worker's wedding. She had had an ulterior motive however and that was to subtly insert herself back into the life of Seeley Booth.

She had known in her heart of hearts that their relationship was not over – just on hiatus, a temporary break for him to cool off, re-evaluate his expectations and then come back to her with his tail between his legs.

No man ever left Hannah Burley without looking back. He just needed to come to the same conclusion on his own merits. But, after twelve months – she was getting antsy.

So, when she had received her ex co-worker's invitation – she was grateful that she could have an excuse to give him a slight nudge in the right direction… her direction.

Whilst on a mission, earlier that day, to find a suitable outfit for the event – Hannah had happened to pass a bookstore window display whereupon a familiar author's name seized her attention. The window card claimed it to be her best read yet.

Whilst Hannah believed the author to be delusional at best in her attempt to thinly disguise the true identity of the male protagonist of her books, she enjoyed a good read. And her books were nothing short of a very good read. In fact, the Anthropologist had Booth's character so well scripted that reading the series had certainly proved to be educational and quite beneficial in determining Hannah's then-boyfriend's personality.

Though it seemed from her previous books that Temperance had not experienced his bedroom prowess, on every other level – she had a very strong understanding of his qualities and flaws; likes, and dislikes. Let's just say - the inadvertent written guidance of her books had certainly helped to avoid the guesswork and inherent doubts associated with budding relationships.

Whilst Hannah always believed Temperance's to be a completely unrequited crush, this latest book did nothing but suggest otherwise in explicit detail.

The thought had crossed Hannah's mind – the that the author was simply projecting – writing her dreams down in script in a deluded attempt to bring her fantasy to life. But this book was different. In previous novels Booth's character was personified in every facet of Andy – except for between the sheets.

This book… well this book was like a slap in the face - stinging with missed opportunities…

…and it made Hannah sick.

No one gets over Hannah Burley in less than one year!

After having paced the room for an hour (and with the bolstering assistance of the mini bar's entire stock of spirits) Hannah came to the conclusion that Temperance had simply taken advantage of Booth's broken heart and played his sense of duty by getting herself pregnant by him.

There is no way that he would have gotten over Hannah that quickly only to fall into a serious relationship with someone else so soon – especially the socially flawed, emotionally stunted Temperance Brennan. No way in hell!

With her mind made up, Hannah grabbed her purse and left to do what she was best at – sniff out a story and stake her territory!


Thanks for reading. Should I keep going?