A/N: Hai all. I'm alive, and don't give me your "I find your lack of updates disturbing" crap, my internet broke.Anyway, I got annoyed at the lack of YJ Red Tornado fanfiction so I wrote one. A lot of ones.
No, I'm not going to publish Bird Magnet because it's not finished and I need it to be PERFECT!
Enjoy Reddy's take on life.
Tom
Red Tornado's Journal: 20th July
Today was a quiet day in the Cave. No "special missions" were assigned.
The team were experiencing that common human affliction known as "boredom."
At this point in time Kid Flash and Robin were in the communal area of the Cave. Personally, I was standing at the holographic monitor screens, watching over the team (as I do almost every day when not on active Justice League duty).
Robin somehow had become hung upside down from the cave rafters tied up in his own grapple line an approximate distance of seven feet from the ground.
He swung from side to side in an awkward manner while Kid Flash sprinted here and there taking photographs with a small camera mounted in his telephonic apparatus ("mobile phone", Green Arrow informs me).
When Aqualad and Rocket entered the room, Rocket performed a "double take" (definition: a delayed reaction to a sudden or surprising situation. Research this behaviour.) when she saw Robin, but Aqualad merely looked up at the boy; as if to ask a question but deciding otherwise.
Robin noticed the look and laughed, informing Aqualad that he had made a mistake while performing complicated acrobatics and was "definitely not feeling the aster."
(What is this "aster?")
Aqualad made a movement with his shoulders (shrugged, or so I am informed) and sat down in one of the green chairs that are located in the corner of the room.
Kid Flash ran over to them, placed his "mobile phone" in a wrist compartment, ran in a circle three times, performed a "cartwheel" (definition: a sideways handspring with the arms extended. Research this.) and then skidded to a halt in front of them, laughing hysterically and saying something far too quickly for my audio receptors to pick up – something like "Robifalltiedahahahahha."
Robin grimaced, saying he would have applauded Kid Flash, however he "physically couldn't move any part of my body." or so he explained to Kid Flash.
Kid Flash laughed and ran off once more, however, he did not look where he was going, ran into a wall, fell over, and slid back across the floor to where he began. Artemis and Zatanna came into the room.
Artemis congratulated "Kid Idiot," (other names include, but are not limited to: Baywatch; Kid Mouth; Wallace; Wally; Kay Eff; et cetera) who sat up and rubbed his head muttering about distractions.
Artemis looked over and noticed Robin's predicament (and I quote): "Wow...why are you...uh...tied up like that? Zatanna's not into bondage (note to self: find out what this is), is she?"
Zatanna strenuously denied this. (Scans of Zatanna at this time reveal an increase in breathing and heart rate, along with an increase in sweat gland activity. Why Zatanna had this reaction is unknown, however my research would indicate this signifies denial of some romantic attachment. I have yet to discover why Zatanna would wish to deny such a romantic attachment.)
Robin moved uncomfortably ("squirmed", apparently. Scans of Robin at this time are almost identical to scans of Zatanna beforehand – heart rate, breathing rate, and so forth. This may have something to do with the denial of romantic attachment mentioned earlier. Intriguing.) and began a lengthy conversation which, for the sake of my journal, I have noted down word-for-word and inserted below:
ROBIN: "Anyway – moving swiftly onwards from any mention of bondage between me and 'Tanna – I got bored, zipped up into the rafters to do some acrobatics, and I sort of...well...messed up...one of the landings."
KID FLASH (walking over): "Messed up? That must be the understatement of the decade. You landed the über-triple-backflip-whatever-it-was, fell, accidentally fired the grapnel gun, then landed on another rafter, swirled the grapple line around yourself and then, to top it all off, you fell off that rafter and this happened."
(Zatanna lapses into what I am told are called "giggles." Artemis asks Robin if he was "OK" before she too dissolves into this helpless laughter.)
ROBIN: "Your massive concern for my wellbeing is so whelming. Yes, it was that bad, and yes, I'm fine." (using a tone of voice that could be contrived to be "sarcastic". I must investigate this fascinating concept.) "Though there's an itch on my nose that is killing me right now." (I am unsure as to how an itch upon one's nose could be detrimental to health, but I shall look further into this phenomenon in order to clarify the matter.)
Zatanna stopped laughing; with difficulty, it appeared.
ZATANNA: "Eson s'nobir hctarcs." (Presumably a spell of some kind.)
ROBIN (tilting his head back): "Ahh...that's the spot... So, want to...maybe... get me down from here...hmm?"
KID FLASH: "Hell no."
Kid Flash fled the room at approximately Mach 2.
ZATANNA (looking at Artemis – I believe the term is "playfully"): "I think I'll just leave you up there and look at you. You make an amazing ornament."
ARTEMIS (critically): "You've gone soft, Z. I think we should go "teach" Conner about piñatas." (Why they would want to teach Superboy about a game played at social gatherings is beyond me.)
ZATANNA: "Artemis, that is a fantastic idea. Let's go."
ROBIN: "You wouldn't." (The frequency of his voice suggested fear (or at least mock fear). Why is this?)
ZATANNA (slyly, I believe): "Well, maybe we could make an exception if we were... how do I put this...recompensed...?"
ROBIN (sighing): "How much ice cream would pay for my release?"
ZATANNA (smiling): "Eh, about five tonnes would be an excellent start." (I am unsure of whether the procurement of frozen dairy products was the reason for this smile, or whether it was something else.)
ARTEMIS: "Mint, by the way. None of that vanilla crap you've tried to give us before." (This is, to quote a human phrase, "all Greek to me.")
When Artemis and Zatanna exited the room, having brought Robin back to ground level, they slapped each other's hands. (This is dubbed a "high five", the name of which would appear to come from both the altitude of the gesture and the fact that there are five fingers on a human hand. I have no information as to why this ritual was carried out. More research necessary.)
Conclusion: More research is required. Work on the android body – designation "John Smith" – will have to begin sooner than I had anticipated.
This was a rather long journal entry, but I believe it was necessary in order to understand the idiosyncrasies of the event.
