Title: Edwardian Pie

Author: Whiskey Bloodsbane Pincher

Genre: Humour

Rating: A tentative K+

Summary: Ed decides to never steal food again- with a little help from Olivier Armstrong.

a/n: I've been completely, madly, and utterly obsessed with FMA:B and the manga, and this is the result. Random-ness runs in my veins so watch out for the random crack and shit in this. Also, English. Not my first language so you can expect some grammatical errors. So this weird hypothetical situation came up to me and demanded to be written. I don't even know if Olivier likes pie. This is what happens because of exam-stress. Oh, and this is my first fic. I really need to polish my writing skills but try to go through this oneshot without cringing please! xD


PIE MADNESS


"Mr. Fullmetal"

Ed stuffed the piece of pie he held in his mouth as he and Al turned to look at the Briggs soldier calling him.

"Wush?" Ed said, who seemed to be in a good mood because of that delicious pie. This is so freaking good. He thought dreamily.

"Er….," the soldier said nervously, his face pale, "Sir…if I may ask so….Could that be….is that….General Armstrong's pie by any chance?"

"Wush," Ed stated, stuffing his face with another piece.

"Excuse me?"

Ed opened his mouth to reply but Al beat him to it.

"He said yes. And brother, don't speak with your mouth full."

"Oh," the soldier looked stricken," Sir…Well, she's looking for you. And it's bad"

"U-ot?" Ed felt fear creeping up on him.

The soldier looked at Al questioningly.

"What?" Al translated.

"Sir, the pie was supposed to be hers. And General Armstrong has quite the temper as you might have noticed by now."

Ed and Al nodded in unison. Oh, yes they had.

Oh shit. I'm dead. So dead.

"Brother, I think you should hide," Al said, his voice tinged with fear.

"Yes, sir," the soldier said, "I think you should follow your brother's-"

"EDWARD!"

The three of them turned to see Falman barreling towards them.

"Run," he huffed out as he reached them, "Run if you value your life. She's coming. And she's ma-"

"YOU'RE SO DEAD, YOU RED SHRIMP!"

Ed squeaked, not even noticing the 'shrimp' comment.

"Run, brother," Al said encouragingly.

Ed heeded to his little brother's words and turned on his heels and ran in the opposite direction of that dreaded voice.

"Best of luck!" the other three chorused behind him.


That night when Al was helping him tend to his many wounds caused by the Queen of Briggs, Ed made a decision -

He was never going to steal food from anyone ever again.


usless author's usless a/n: A cookie for you if you read it completely (::) xP

R&R if you even remotely like it?