Looking at her little smile, her little eyes and her little hands .It made me wonder, was I ever looked at with love and kindness. I was born on a cold winters evening some eighteen years previous. My mother never seemed too happy that I was around. Though I did have toys I had nobody who wanted to play with me. I would take my wooden Noah's ark and I would set it up in the living room and then when my mother came in I would ask her to play with me. She would pick me up and put me in my room. I used to go and ask her if she would come into the garden with me. She would take me to my room and tell me I was a naughty girl for disturbing her tea party with her friends. I used to ask questions but then they would be ignored or I would be given a half-hearted answer. All four year olds are inquisitive but I learnt to keep quiet to do as I was told. I learnt to tidy my room and to not bother her unless the thing I was disturbing her was to do with her. I used to walk a little way down the road to the park to lay with my friends. On the way I would see lots of families the Browns with their five children running around outside their house and the Smiths buying ice creams and going on trips to the seaside. However, I did find some friendship in adults, from Mrs Callan next door. She was about forty and had two grown up children who lived around London, she also had three children who still lived at home. Mrs Callan used to inivte her family around all the time one day they went to London zoo.
I was on the front step drawing with chalk on the pavement when Elizabeth oldest of the three children still living at home came and asked me if I wanted to go with them. I didn't bother to tell mother as she wouldn't care as long as I didn't get in her way I was as free as a bird.
One day I climbed on to the work surface and as I jumped down pulled a pan of boing water onto my arms. My mother put me in a cold bath and left me there until I had stopped screaming. I still have tiny scares to remember that day by. I went inside grabbed my old coat and some change from the tin and went on the adventure. It was a fine day we saw bears and Mr Callan even paid for us to go on the Merry go rounds and big dippers at the zoo. That was the last night I spent at home. I woke up in the morning, all mother said was to pack my best clothes in a case and we were going to the seas side. I packed my bags. When we were leaving my mother started to get inpatient and she dragged me along the pavement. I dropped my teddy but my mother wouldn let me go back but Mrs Callan was walking past on her way to the shop to by her paper. She shouted "Avril, I will save the teddy for you, when you come back you can get it."
Then the next part was all a blur, I remember my mother leaving me on the steps of a large house and leaving getting into the car. I shouted at the car as it drove away I didn't cry like most abandoned children would, I sighed a sigh of relief.
I was taken into the house. They took my belongings and showed me to a room full of lots of other children of different ages. It seemed like they were all robots there was no laughter just children boys and girls playing quietly with old toys. The bedroom was small 10 girls to a room and 10 boys to a room there were around fifty children. The children fought over the blankets and duvets as there were not enough to go round. After the matron who looked over the children the house went silent. Even the babies in the room next door didn't cry as they knew nobody would come to comfort them. I sat up in the bed that I shared with another girl about my size. Was this what life held for me? At 6am we were woken by a loud bell. The children hastily rushed around and dressed not wanted to be sent into the containment room some big children had said it was not bigger than a cupboard and you had to sit there for four hours in the dark with no water.
