"Enough visitors these days, I do not have" said Yoda as he bumbled around his little hut. "And bore me, young Skywalker does."

"HELLO STRANGE GREEN THING!" screamed two high-pitched figures as they tumbled in (literally) through the door.

Surprise flashed across Yoda's face, but he quickly recovered.

"Strange green thing I am not. Yoda I am." he told the two high-pitched figures.

They ignored that and bounced (yes, they bounced) closer to him.

"Hey, Yoda," started the first "what would happen if we poured hydrochloric acid on your blonde head?"

"Blonde?" screeched the second "since when is Yoda blonde?"

Yoda sweatdropped.

"Poor eyesight you must have. Blonde I am not, grey I am." he told them.

An awkward silence ensued-

Said awkward silence ended when Luke Skywalker jumped throught the open window.

"Hey, Yo-" poor Luke never got a chance to finish before he heard

"USE THE FORCE, LUKE!"

"I AM YOUR FATHER, LUKE"

"GO AWAY, LAME LUKE!"

"Wha—wh-what..." aforementioned Luke stammered "who said that?"

With guilty expressions, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader, and a little girl stepped out from behind a screen, and watched as Luke attempted (poorly) to understand the situation.

"You know what, Luke? Your lame and stupid. I don't like you. I challenge you, let's have a fight to the death!" said the (until now) innocent looking 9 year old girl.

"Awww..." inserted the first high-pitched figure "Isabella, my darling niece, I'm so proud of you!"

Isabella didn't reply because she had just drawn a lightsabre and was locking swords with Luke.

Then, to everyones suprise, a Voltorpe Pokemon suddenly rolled in and used self destruct.

"BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!"

A very charred Yoda frowned.

"To many visitors these days, I have."

In a galaxy far far away, at a lunch table in a high school cafeteria, two girls stared as their friend slowly started turning green.

"Sean? Are you okay?" asked one.

"Alright, I am" said Sean in an odd squeaky voice, as he started shrinking and pointed ears appeared on his head."

"If you say so."

The girls shared a look, before turning back to their friend...

And were struck speechless.

"OH MY GOD, YODA!"

...

"Blown, my cover is" muttered Yoda as the transformation came to a stop.

"Oh my... How..." stammered the first girl

"Oh, I get it." said the second "Yoda used the force and was able to predict the explosion, so he took his spirit, if you will, and transferred it into another body, probably kicking out Sean in the process."

"What? So Sean was Yoda this entire time?"

"I'm not really an expert on pan-galactic mind travel. Why don't you ask Yoda?"

They turned and faced the little ancient green being, who was doing his best to look inconspicuous, and raised questioning eyebrows.

"Listened for a potential host in the force, I did. Reached out to that mind and touched it, I did next."

"Alright then... But why Sean?"

"You know, that's probably not the question we should be asking."

"What, then?"

"How about 'If Yoda is in Sean's body, then what happened to Sean?'"

"..."

"In my body, he is."

"WHAT?"

"Confused you are" sighed Yoda "Put my mind in Sean's body, I did. Mind in my body, Sean has."

"Ahh. That would also explain why you now have the appearance of Yoda, but with Sean's blond hair on top."

"How on earth does that explain that?"

"I don't know. It just makes sense."

"Never mind that- We need to find Sean!"

"Yes, find Sean we must."

And so began the quest to for Sean. But meanwhile, on Dagobah

A rather bewildered Sean ran out of a strange hut that looked like it had just been the site of a nuclear bomb. He soon found himself in some strange, swampy wilderness. He slowed to walking and wandered without a general direction. Till he heard it.

"Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato-oh! I'm so yummy!"

Sean crept into a clearing and saw it- a giant, talking BLT. His eyes widened and sparkled.

"SANDWICH!" He yelled at the top of his lungs and did a flying tackle...

Only to find himself lying facedown in the dirt. There was no sandwich. Just thin air and a swamp, which he was slowly sinking into.

"Darn it."

Back on Earth, at 2 AM, at the Kennedy Space center, inside a very strange space cruiser about to launch.

"In 3...2...1... BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM! And liftoff! of the space-thingy Combustable Chameleon! on a quest to find our missing friend Shoda, a.k.a Sean in Yoda's body. Crew is: Captain Tenko Takara, Co-Pilot slash Navigator Carys Shay, Advisor and Expert, Yowahn aka Yoda in Sean's body, brig resident Paco Saro. We are travelling to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away to recover Sean. Wish us luck, Earthlings!"

Smiling, Carys hung up the intercom.

"Uh, Carys? You do realize that there's no use in that, right? We just passed Jupiter, everyones on the bridge including Paco, and you just told all of NASA that we hijacked their tech and adjusted it with Yodas help, then used their lauchpad to leave?"

"Oh Tenko, you're such a buzzkill. Besides it was fun!"

There was a peaceful silence as they passed Neptune, till Yoda, no sorry, Yowahn, said

"30 years, the journey will be at this pace. Moving fast, we are."

"30 years? How much do we care about Sean, anyways?"

"30 years is nothing, theory of relativity and all that. We'll barely age a year. Calm down Tenko, you too Paco."

"MMMF! MMMF? MMMMMMFF!" said Paco (which roughly translates to- That's not what I was saying! Why have I been tied, gagged, and abducted? And my name is Tom, not Paco!)

"MMMF." said Tenko (which means That's a lot of meaning in just a couple mmfs.)

"MMF. MMMFF!" said Carys (which means Hmm, that's true. Hey, since we have so much time, let's have a random party)

"MMF." said Yowahn (Entering Kuiper Belt, we are. Not now, perhaps)

"MMMF?" asked Tenko (Why are we talking in mmfs, anyways?)

"MMF, MF?" wondered Paco (Yeah, why are we?"

"MMMF!" grinned Carys (So Paco doesn't feel lonely!)

"MMMF! protested Paco (It's Tom, not Paco!)

And that was how everything began. It began THE SAGA OF SHODA and THE EPIC OF CARYS and THE STORY OF TENKO and UTTER CHAOS IN THE STAR WARS GALAXY and THE LEGEND OF THE BLT and a few other things. But this is where it all began.

Dramatic music fades away in background.

"I spy with my little eye..." Carys paused and looked out of the window from her spot on Tenko's bed. They had been on the journey for 2 years now, making them 15 and 16 respectively. A lot of things had changed- under Yowahn's tutelage, they had become adept at alien culture and galactic basic, and were very very good with lightsabres. Some things were the same though- majorly their appearance, and Carys's rather dimunitive height.

"something beginning with t." she finished.

"Hmmm..." Tenko paused to think of an answer, all the while rearanging the hem of her "uniform" that she had made for the crew in a moment of extreme boredom. She was positive that Carys had asked this one before.

"Could it be 'The dull, dark, and void emptiness of space?'"

"Yeah."

"Thought so."

"28 years left"

"I know. It's hard to believe that we care about Shoda that much."

"We've already had this discussion."

"I guess so." Tenko sighed "I'm so bored, we've finished with Yowahn's homework, been swimming, watched holovids, flown the craft by hand... and all today. What's there left to do?"

The two girls sat in silence for a moment till Carys decided something.

"I know! Let's force feed Yowahn some sugar!"

"..."

10 Minutes later, in Yowahn's living quarters

"Bad for you, sugar is." Yowahn shook his head at his two young students. Over the past 2 years, he had come to enjoy their presence immensely. But sometimes...

"But, but, you said that our science experiment would be to conduct an experiment on a microscopic life form that was not native to earth."

"Homework, I gave you? Remember this I do not." said Yowahn, choosing to ignore the rather obvious jab at his height. Not like Carys was particularly tall for a human, either, though.

"Well, umm, you can't deny that you wanted us to practice immobilising a target!" Cackling evilly, Carys pulled out a lightsabre, some ductape, and 5 pounds of candy from behind her back.

30 Minutes later, in the living room

"WHHEEE! FLYING, I AM!"

"Uh, Carys?" asked Tenko "how much candy did you actually give him?"

At the moment, the great and dignified Yowahn was running around the living room and bouncing off the walls with a lollypop in his mouth, all the while screaming and scaring the heck out of Tenko and Paco.

"MMMF!" said Paco (We're all gonna die! Yoda will kill us all!)

"Bacon bombs! Bacon, I like!"

Yowahn grinned and grabbed Paco, throwing him up and down, up and down.

"HELLLPPPP MEEEE!" screeched Paco.

"Hang on, did Paco just talk?" Carys wondered.

Tenko, of course freaked out.

"Who let him go? WHO? We need to gag him again and throw him in the brig!"

"Do it, I SHALL!" squeaked Yowahn, who was hanging from the ceiling

Within .3 seconds, poor Paco found himself ductaped to the roof in a mini cocoon.

"Now," Yowahn decided "Swimming, I must go! WHEEE!" and he cannonballed into a pool. There was a huge splash, and everything and everyone was soon drenched. And then, a little green head poked through the water.

"Oh dear. Swimming, I know not how. Worn off, my sugar high has."

And very, very slowly, the little green head started sinking.

After Tenko and Carys had rescued Yowahn, rescued Paco, and repaired everything that Yowahn had broken/ruined/destroyed (which took a few hours), and drying off, the two girls found themselves sitting on Tenko's bed again.

As they sipped their cups of hot cinnamon chocolate with whipped cream and marshmellows and pure yumminess (Recipe derived by Carys in a moment of extreme boredom) Tenko broke the silence.

"Carys?"

"Yeah?"

"We are never, ever, ever doing that again."

It was yet another peaceful day on the Combustable Chameleon. Well, sort of.

"No! Tenko, give him back to me! Tenko!"

The girl in question cackled- "It's too late Carys! I'm going to throw this stupid mutt of yours out of the airlock, and then we'll be done with him forever!"

"NOOOOO!"

Attracted by the comotion, Yowahn shuffled into the room. Ever since a little incident 3 years before, he always had a lollipop with him. Now, he held on to it as he went to find out what was going on.

Coming through the doorframe, he was greeted with a usual sight. Tenko was holding a puppy above her head and threatening it as Carys chased after her and begged for it's release. Ok, flashback.

They were on a market in the Sombrero galaxy, when a little something caught Carys's eye.

It was a puppy. And not just any puppy, but the cutest puppy she had ever seen in her life. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but it was so CUTE. And it was silver. And it had the cutest purple eyes...Withing the space of five minutes, she had bought the puppy and taken it back to the ship.

That's when the trouble began. From the moment that she first layed eyes on him, Tenko absolutely hated Nick. (Nick was the puppies name, of course) The first day, she had attempted to strangle it. The second day, she tried to suffocate it. The third day, she tried to crush. And, well, you get the pattern. So no, it didn't come as a suprise to Yowahn when he saw Tenko being chased by Carys, a totally bewildered Nick in Tenko's arms. Anyways, back to the present.

"Fighting, are we?"

"Yowahn, Tenko is trying to murder Nick again!"

"I would be doing the universe a favor by getting rid of that little demon!"

Yowahn groaned, and just walked out the door again. By this point, he had given up trying.

It was just another day in the life for the Combustable Chameleon.

A.N.- And there it is! The beginning of this Epic Saga. I'll probably change the title later, but this is it for now. I dedicate the following characters to their real life counterparts: Tenko to Estelle, Shoda and Sean to Sean, Nick to Nick, Paco to Thomas, and Carys to myself. In the next segment, you'll see this story rejoin the actual Star Wars plot, starting at A new hope. Please stick through! Bye Bye for now.

With love,

Thearpsorceress