Ahoy, avid readers. Vociferous Valerianfelicis here with wondrous tales of superhero romance. This is actually my first story, if you can call it that. I planned to make it an epic tale of heart-stopping fights crazy adventures and daring deeds but I'm really only comfortable writing dialogue. The story wouldn't come to me, only these fractured fragments of a story, so apologies for the lack of chronology. I was going to set the scenes, reference the comics and where I was starting from (late 2012, but that's all you'll get) but I think you readers are smart enough to not require any of that excess.

This should go without saying but I have no legal claim to the Marvel universe or any of the characters within it. The same cannot be said in reverse, for it surely has claim to my heart.

"What's on your mind, bug?" Logan asked, as though interrogating spider-man as to why he might not be prepared for a mission, barely betraying his true motive of asking as a friend.

"My skull." The arachnid themed hero quipped.

"That was weak, something's up."

Spider-man said nothing, but looked to the sky.

"Is this about Carol?" It was an educated guess, and though spider-man gave no visible reaction there was still enough of a reaction for Wolverine to pick up. "Don't get what's bugging you, she's into you and way out of your league, you hit the jackpot… again."

"Well that's just it. I mean I've been with plenty of women who were way out of my league," Peter ignored Logan's sudden coughing fit, "and was married to someone way out of my league." Still Wolverine was coughing, dying to say that Spider-man was just stating the obvious. "But Carol's not just got me beat in looks - I didn't realise you could still get lung infections with your healing powers, Cujo - but she's a different class of hero."

At this Logan just started laughing. "That's what you're worried about?"

"Well this is just great, you finally open up your closed-off heart to your superhero buddy and they just laugh at you. I'm not like you, Logan, I don't usually confide my emotions and this is just hurtful. May as well have spoken to Johnny Storm."

Spider-Man didn't even flinch as adamantium claws were suddenly touching his neck. He was one of the only people who never flinched around Wolverine, unless as a joke, not because he trusted his friend not to hurt him but purely because he'd be forewarned if there was an attempt.

"Take that back."

"Fine," Spidey conceded with raised hands. "When it comes to admitting feelings of inadequacy you're a slightly better confidant than the most arrogant person we know."

It didn't sound like the apology he wanted but he knew it was the best he'd get out of the spider and he withdrew his claws disgruntled.

"Don't know why you'd ever feel inadequate though."

"Are you kidding? You've met Carol, how could I not feel that way?"

"I've also met you." Wolverine said with rare sincerity. "Not long ago when the phoenix force came back who was the only one who took out two of the phoenix five?"

"Yeah but that was just…"

"Doesn't matter, pretty much all of the avengers were there and were hopeless, we leave you alone with the two of them, both of them against you, and when we return you're the only one left standing."

"Really? I don't remember being able to stand."

"And who's put away more super-villains than any other hero?"

"That can't be true."

"It is, pup." Wolverine said, subconsciously ruffling the baldhead of the spider-man costume. "And you've probably put away more criminals without powers than anyone else."

"That's just because I'm the only one who does."

"And who's taken out the sinister six countless times when even Avengers have failed?"

"I have." Peter said in a mock-bashful tone. Peter waited for more praise but it appeared Logan was willing to let all he had said sink in at this point. "Well thanks, Logan, seriously. This is going to make me so popular with the Avengers when I tell them the encouragement you gave me. Who knew you were a cute little puppy inside?"

"You utter one word of this conversation…" Wolverine decided to let the threat hang in the air but the spider-man was already swinging far away.

"But Odie, I'll need something to break the ice on my first date." Peter shouted into the wind.

The short x-man growled after the young wall-crawler, but as he turned away a small, proud smile was playing on his lips.


Spider-man had been patrolling New York the rest of the day. But it was absent-mindedly; his banter with criminals had considerably dipped that day as his mind replayed his conversation with Wolverine over in his mind.

"Toto's right." Spider-man suddenly said aloud.

"Who're you calling Toto, web-freak?" Said the villain currently being held by the scruff of his neck some fifteen feet above the ground as spider-man clung to the high wall of the bank.

"What?" Spider-man retorted, suddenly noticing his predicament, he shook his head as if waking from a deep sleep. "Oh sorry, I was miles away."

"What's wrong with you?" The would-be bank-robber asked with fear.

"Oh you know, girl troubles." Spidey said as he threw the criminal across the room into some ready-made webbing before jumping down to land between the door and an accomplice trying to make an escape. "You know it's the classic story." Spidey said as he punched the second robber across the room and onto the same webbing as the first. "She's amazing, 10 out of 10; drop-dead gorgeous and a big heart to boot." Spidey ducked as a bullet flew over his head before launching into a gravity defying back flip and simultaneously webbing the gun from the third and final robber. "While I'm just the humble spider-hero from the neighbourhood." Spider-man landed behind the robber and knocked him unconscious with a swift chop.

Spider-man picked up the unconscious robber and laid him on the web with his friends along with his usual calling card.

"Spider-man thank you for saving us. And by the way, I think any girl would be lucky to have you."

"Well thanks. I should go straight away to find Scarlett Johansson and tell her how I feel." At the shell-shocked looks of the people around him Spider-man thought it best to back track. "I was kidding. Don't go telling people about this, we don't want Doctor Octopus to ruin the chance of the Lost in Translation sequel I've been petitioning for." Spidey said before swinging from the crime scene.


"Hey Carol." Spider-man called after an Avengers meeting and everyone had left. "I was wondering…" He paused here. He was thankful, not for the first time, for his costume, but this time it was saving him from humiliation rather than securing his identity. His face was beet red and his palms were sweating furiously, but obviously none of this was visible. "Wondering if you'd like to go prevent a few crimes together."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you know like, swing, or fly in your case, around New York a bit, see if there's a few damsels, or bachelors, in distress that need our help."

"Sure that sounds like it could be fun."

"Excellent." Peter said before launching himself out of the window. Oh the amount of times he'd wanted to do that before he had powers after trying to ask a girl out. Captain Marvel, after recovering from the shock, made to follow him.

She flew slowly, by her standards, beside him, as he swung around New York gracefully.

"So, do you have any siblings?" Spider-man asked. Carol almost laughed at the question.

"Yes I have two younger brothers, JJ, or Joe Junior, and Steve. Steve died serving the military."

"I'm sorry."

"What about you?"

"No siblings for me, my parents died when I was quite young and I was raised by my aunt and uncle."

"Of course, I'm sorry, I knew that."

"Don't worry, my aunt and uncle were amazing people and I basically consider them my parents, though still no siblings."

"What are they like?"

"Well my aunt's tough. I worry about her because of her age but she's never given me a reason to worry. In return she worries about me constantly too. My uncle was a great man, he died when I was 15 but I still try to live by his example."

"With great power comes great responsibility?"

"Yeah, he used to say that quite a lot."

A scream could be heard from the streets below.

"Ahh, they're playing my theme song, that means it's time for my entrance."

Spider-man then let go of his web and began falling to the ground. He cast one last web to allow him to land elegantly on the floor in front of the escaping mugger. He threw one horizontal arm out and clothes lined the criminal, who was knocked cold.

"And the crowd goes wild, hooray for spider-man!" He shouted as he blew kisses to the people looking from their windows in the surrounding buildings.

He picked up the bad guy and started webbing him to the lamppost as Captain Marvel landed beside him.

"You know you seem to be the only Avenger who actually goes looking for crime like this to stop."

"I guess the rest of you are just lazy slackers. The type people like J. Jonah Jameson hates."

"He hates you more than anyone."

"What! I thought he just slandered me to hide his secret admiration."

"Why do you do it?"

By this point the victim had caught up with them and snatched back the bag spider-man was offering her.

"Thank you Captain Marvel, I don't know what I'd've done, this has so many important things in it."

"I would have to say that when the people thank you it makes it all worthwhile." Spider-man joked.

The woman was already walking away but Carol decided to catch up to her.

"Ma'am, I didn't do anything, it's Spider-man you should thank."

The woman turned around and looked at the Web-slinger.

"Please, if you weren't here he'd've probably just taken my purse for himself."

Carol was gobsmacked. Hadn't this woman just seen what had occurred?

"You realise he's an Avenger?" Carol continued.

"And he probably tricked his way onto the team."

Peter could see Carol wouldn't likely let this go. "Hey Carol, I think I hear police sirens, that means more people in need of saving, lets go."

Carol gave a withering look before walking back to spider-man.

"Oh, and if they haven't already someone might want to call the police so they can take care of this guy," he gestured with his thumb to the guy webbed to the lamp post, "I would but this costume doesn't have pockets." He actually did have a phone on him, but he couldn't call the police every time spidey made an arrest, he had a secret identity to keep.

Spider-man then webbed away with Captain Marvel following at a sedate pace, for her at least.

"You didn't really hear sirens did you?"

"No but you were just getting into a pointless argument."

"It wasn't pointless, I was right."

"Yeah, but she saw everything that happened in front of her, I doubt you'll convince her with words."

"It just makes me so mad. All you do are good deeds and people hate you for it."

"Not everyone. If I have the respect of someone like you who cares what people like her think." This caused Carol to smile. "Hey, I didn't actually want to ask you if you wanted to come stop some petty crooks with me, I just got nervous and this is my default. Would you like to go on a date some time?" Carol beamed. "Unless, of course there's a mister marvel, or you have arachnophobia, although that would be pretty irrational because I doubt there's a spider that could pierce your skin but then that's kind of the definition of a phobia…"

Carol flew in front of him and placed a finger to his lips as she flew backwards. Her wide smile forced Peter to think of sunshine.

"I'd love to."