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"Have you ever heard that old crap about eyes being windows to the soul or whatever?" Raven asked without looking up from the wires she was soldering by the dismantled communications panel.
"What?" Monty barely glanced away from the the half-formed walkie talkie he was working on. It had been a quiet hour in the dropship, mostly because he was still in a funk about the loss of any chance at talking to the Ark.
"You know, eyes are windows to the soul. Finn says it's an old saying from before the planet roasted," She set down her work and turned in her seat to face Monty, "Which is crap when you think about it because you can't see much through a window, you know? Just a tiny bit of whatever's on the other side, so it's a bad metaphor," She furrowed her eyebrows in that judgmental way of hers.
"Okay," Monty nodded in confusion, unsure of what provoked the conversation.
"My point is that if you have half a brain you can tell a lot more about someone from their eyes than from the bullshit that comes out their mouths," She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, "And apparently I'm the only one with half a brain in this whole damn camp,"
"Again... okay," Monty was starting to feel uncomfortable, and he genuinely didn't know what to say. Raven had never been one to talk for the sake of talking, at least to his knowledge, but he had no idea where she was going with this.
"You don't say much, Monty, which in my book is a compliment, but you're a wreck," She turned back around in her seat and went back to work, "It's obvious, or at least it should be. Not that the kids here are a brain trust,"
"Can you sift past insulting everyone and say whatever it is you're driving at?" Monty crossed his arms in front of him, feeling flustered and more than a little peeved. She'd made it very clear that his hope for survivors on the Ark was useless, and he was already tired of hearing it.
Raven sighed, but didn't turn back to look at him, "You don't know how to give up, and it's not healthy. Believe me,"
"If this is about the Ark you've already made your opinion known. I'm working on the walkies, so just... I don't know. I'm helping you. What more do you want?" He picked up the hunk of plastic and wires and tried to regain focus.
"It's not just the Ark. You don't play things as close to the chest as you think. It's in your eyes, man," She made a small huffing sound as she ripped more wires from the machinery that had kept them in touch with home, "You're lucky Jasper's blind,"
Monty's breath caught in his throat, but he didn't say anything. She stayed quiet for a moment before taking his silence as an answer.
"Yep. Thought so," She nodded, but still didn't look at him, "You see it too. It's kinda sick how you don't say anything about it but it's all right there," She picked up the soldering iron and started attaching the usable wires to a tiny speaker, "In the eyes,"
It was Monty's turn to huff, "I have no idea what you're talking about,"
"Yeah, you do," A small, sad smile played across her lips but Monty didn't see it. They were both resolutely facing opposite directions, "Jasper doesn't look at you the way you look at him, and you know it. But you don't try to make him see, and that's where it gets sick. It's not good for you to feel like that and hold it in,"
"I still don't know what you're talking about," His voice stayed steady, disinterested even, but his mouth slid into a frown that Raven didn't see.
"Look," She set down the jumble of parts and twisted to try to look at him, but he didn't move, "I suck at emotion stuff, okay? But I know what it's like to be in love with your best friend,"
"But Finn loved you back," The words came out too loud and too fast for him to stop them.
"I knew it," She shook her head, "See? Doesn't it feel better to say it out loud?" Monty didn't reply, but that only spurred her on, "You do know that we are about to be full-on at war with the Grounders, right? And the guy that you are crazy about is one of Bellamy's favorite gunners, so he'll be right out in the middle of it. And Jasper's a magnet for trouble. I heard about the whole spear thing. So if you don't tell him now, you might miss your last chance,"
Monty closed his eyes, and had to force his throat to make sound, "I don't know what I'd do without him. He doesn't see me that way, and... I'm okay with it the way it is,"
"I said that exact thing once," Raven lifted her hand to pat his shoulder, but hesitated. Comforting people was not one of her strengths.
"You at least knew you stood a chance," He finally turned to look at her, "He'd freak if I told him, he wouldn't know how to handle it and he's my best friend. I already know what the answer would be so... it wouldn't be fair to put him into that situation,"
"It's not fair to you to have to hide all this. It might be hard but in the long-run it'll hurt a lot less," She sighed, then switched into a sly smile, "Besides, how do you know he'll freak? He seems like he's up for anything,"
"It's..." Monty smiled for half a second before shaking his head, "It's a little more complicated than you and Finn,"
"Actually, I don't think this is in the same league of complicated that me and Finn have reached," She shook her head, "But I'll tell you something; at least now I know it didn't work out. At least now I'm not pining over the possibility of it maybe happening one day. Finn turned out to be a sucky boyfriend, but if I'd never made a move I'd never have known for sure," She nodded resolutely, "You deserve to know. It'll help you move on or, hey, maybe he'll be into the idea. I mean, he halfway loves you already so it could be that he just hasn't realized it yet. Either way is better than what you've been doing," The judgmental eyebrows returned.
"Got any suggestions on how to tell him?" Monty spoke in a defeated whisper.
"You could just plant one on him," She grinned, "Right on that over-sized mouth,"
"Subtle," Monty couldn't help but laugh.
"It's what I did with Finn," She shrugged, "Though on second thought maybe you shouldn't take notes from that relationship,"
Monty nodded, deep in thought, "You're right... just not yet," Another nod, as if he were convincing himself as well as her, "He is gonna be in the fight with the Grounders, and he's more likely to survive if he's focused. This'll throw him off too much. If we survive I'll tell him," He turned away again, knowing the disappointment that would be on Raven's face.
"And after the fight with the Grounders? What'll be your next excuse?"
Monty opened his mouth angrily only to shut it again. He couldn't think of an argument so he sighed, "I've got some wires in my tent. I'm gonna go get them," He shot to his feet and hurried to the exit.
Raven grumbled to herself, "Like there aren't enough in here already?" But he was gone. She was starting to think all boys were idiots.
