Title: The Other One Whom Joyce Loved

Disclaimer: I only mess around with them, I don't own them and I certainly don't make money from them. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.

Rated: eventually M for sex

Summary: Spoilers for Season 5 of Buffy and Season 2 of Angel. After Joyce's death, a former lover visits her grave and recalls the relationship they had over the years, beginning in college. Contains femslash. AU, I guess, though it's not entirely implausible within the established Buffyverse. Originally posted under the title "A Lasting Love". Reposted with numerous revisions, both grammatical and stylistic, as well as additional dialogue and other elements.

Feedback: Yes, please! I welcome criticism as long as it's constructive.

April, 2001

Sunnydale, California

She was wearing a navy blue business suit, with a jacket and a skirt that came up just above the knee. Underneath the jacket she wore a white blouse. She wasn't entirely sure if the outfit was the most appropriate one for the purpose of her trip, but she did try to look her best. In one hand, she carried a bouquet of roses; in the other, a small bottle of wine.

She entered the cemetery and cut through the rows of gray and white headstones. She knew the approximate location of the one she was looking for, but it still took ten minutes of searching before she finally found it.

She had wanted to attend the funeral, but had decided against it, because she knew that the ceremony might also be attended by an enemy from back home; after all, the friends and family of the deceased had rather close connections with that enemy, and the last thing she needed was to have people recognize her and wonder what she was doing all the over here in Sunnydale. Thus, she had decided to come a few days later instead, and it was why she stood before the gravesite now.

The headstone was a light gray; rather simple, but it worked. The inscription read as follows:

JOYCE SUMMERS

1958-2001

BELOVED MOTHER

She laid the roses on the ground directly in front of the headstone. She looked around the cemetery, making sure no one was nearby. Then she sat down on the ground next to the plot; the fact that the skirt would probably get dirt and grass stains on it was the least of her concerns at the moment.

Setting the bottle of wine next to her, she hugged her knees to her chest and stared at the inscription on the headstone for several minutes. Finally, she started speaking.

"Hello, Joyce. It's been a while. I've missed you, you know that? How have you been?" She paused briefly, almost expecting the headstone to reply to her question. "I've been doing alright, I suppose. Work has been very…stressful, lately, but there was no way I wasn't going to make time to visit you.

"I know that I'm an evil person, and I partly blame you for that, but that will never change the fact that I loved you…that I still love you. I just hope that you're happy wherever you are. I wish I could tell you that I would join you there one day, but that would be a lie." She paused again for a moment.

"I would have given it all up for you; you know that, right? I would have married you...if it were legal here." She smiled. "I guess we could have gone to the Netherlands – I heard in the news recently that they just became the first country to legalize same-sex marriage."

She crossed her legs so that she was now sitting Indian-style, smoothed her skirt, and continued.

"Hell, if we had gotten married, I would have even added your last name to mine. Mrs. Lilah Morgan-Summers. I love the sound of that."

Taking out a handkerchief from her breast pocket, she dabbed at her left eye.

"Do you remember how we first met?"