Ok so this is loosely based on spoilers for 4.01 that mention tension in the Reagan household due to Erin letting a suspect go. Don't want to say to much - so this is just a little touchy, feely one shot that's been in my had for a while. Of course it involves Jamie and what happened to him at the end of season 3 - I can't let it go just yet and I'm sure we won't get any sort of fallout in the new season - everyone will be miraculously over it!
Don't own anyone you recognise as I'm sure you are aware of by now - I just dust them off every now and again.
Police Commissioner Frank Reagan sighed deeply as he gently placed his now empty wine glass in the table. It had been an enjoyable family Sunday dinner until, once again, work had reared its ugly head, then it had turned into a more traditional Sunday dinner, brother and sister pitted against each other in a never ending battle of right and wrong. The younger children had long since left the table, Nicki now mature enough to not only sense an argument brewing, but to get herself and her cousins out of the way before it kicked off.
Frank glanced round at the remaining adults seated around the table. Linda was trying to placate her husband without actually saying anything, clearly frustrated with her lack of success. Henry was sat at the other end of the table, an amused expression dancing across his features, glass of wine in hand, as if a spectator at a sporting event. Frank's gaze then fell upon his youngest son. Jamie had not said a word all afternoon - in fact, he'd not done much of anything if the the amount of food left on his plate was anything to go by.
Frank was still extremely concerned about his youngest. He'd been back at work for about a month now, after somehow passing the psych evaluation. How? Frank would never know, seeing as he was now. Not only was he having to cope with the tragic events that culminated in his partner dying in his arms, but he was now paired with a partner, with whom he was having trouble gelling with...Frank wondered if Jamie would ever be 'Jamie' again.
"Oh come on Danny...Dad...tell him..." he heard his daughter's voice trying to drag him into the conversation.
"I can't get involved sweetheart, you know that," he countered as kindly as he could. He actually wanted to agree with Danny on this particular issue of Erin letting go a criminal who shot one of his officers in a bank robbery - but let him go she had, stating lack of evidence.
Danny smiled at his father's avoidance, actually knowing where he stood with this one- his smile didn't go unnoticed by his sister, causing Erin to bristle even more.
"Well I agree with Danny," came the quiet voice of the, up to now, silent sibling, "He shot a NYPD officer - he was seen - what more do you need?"
"It wouldn't have stood up in court Jamie...you know that. There were no fingerprints on the gun that killed the officer...and that's just for starters," she was facing her little brother now - completely unaware, in her agitated state, that Jamie's expression was changing.
"You could've pushed harder Erin - I've seen you push harder...or do we have to wait until another officer is killed?" Jamie questioned pointedly, causing Frank and Danny to sit up that bit straighter. Even Henry had set his glass down sensing the change of atmosphere.
Erin was exasperated, "Oh come on Jamie, you know as well as I do that it doesn't work like that! If you weren't reverting to your 'Danny' brain at the moment, then you would realiseat what you were saying!"
Something snapped in Jamie right at that moment. He jumped to his feet, causing his chair to smash to the floor. He would've afforded himself a smile of satisfaction at the shocked expressions of his family, but not today...he could feel the anger coursing through his veins, "Is that right!" He shouted, "Maybe if I'd used my 'Danny' brain more ofter, then people like this low life wouldn't be on the streets - cop killers would be behind bars and my friend wouldn't have bled out in front of me!"
He stopped abruptly, his anger quickly changing to complete shock at having to admit the loss of Vinny once again. He turned and stormed out of the room, leaving everyone else looking at each other in bewilderment.
As the door swung shut on Jamie's retreating form, Erin covered her face with her hand, "I can't believe I just said that," she commented, her troubled eyes fixed on Danny.
"Don't sweat it sis, we were both to blame," Danny comforted.
"It was only a matter of time..." Henry added, "He had to blow at some time..."
"I know Grandpa, but I wish it hadn't been me that pushed him," Erin replied sadly.
Danny sighed deeply, "I know sis...I know..." He sought out his wife's hand, as he always did whenever he was losing it - his rock.
Erin turned her apologetic eyes towards her father, who still had his gaze fixed on the door that Jamie had marched through, "I'll go and talk to him," Frank told them.
As he rose from his chair he felt a hand on his arm, stopping him...Erin.
"Let me dad...please," she pleaded, worry for her brother so obvious on her face.
Frank looked at her and smiled as he patted her hand, silently giving her permission to follow her brother.
Erin found her brother pacing up and down the length of the kitchen, his distress obvious. He was wringing his hands then running them through his hair. He hadn't noticed her until she took hold of his hands mid-run, smiling softly at his stunned expression. Her smiled shifted when she felt the tremors running through him, "Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry...I should never have said that to you...I just..." She looked down at Jamie's hands as tears filled her eyes, "I always feel like I've got to defend any decision that I make...and God knows I wanted to put this guy away...but the case has to be rock solid..."
Jamie extracted his hands from hers. The calm and together part of him knew exactly what his sister was saying and most of the time he would agree - but this time...it was to soon after Vinny...to soon.
He poured himself a glass of water, his hands, thankfully, not shaking as much as before. He became aware of his sisters presence next to him. He leaned into her as she gently put an arm around his waist, "I thought I was ok you know? But another officer so soon...to soon..."
Erin rested her chin on the top of her little brother's head as she squeezed him to her as hard as she could, "I know little brother, I know. But you are doing great - I'm so proud of you!"
"What's to be proud of? I'm moody, I barely speak, I break down all the time, I'm not fit to be on the streets," Jamie berated himself.
"Not only are you fit to be on the streets Officer Reagan, but the streets are safer with you on them! Don't give up Jamie, Vinny wouldn't want you to give up..."
Jamie cast his tear filled gaze up to his sister, who now had tears falling down her face. She swiped at them with her free hand and smiled at her brother, "I promise Jamie, that I will do everything in my power to convict the person who killed that Officer, but I can't compromise my integrity to do so...I won't!"
Jamie stood up straight and looked his sister in the eye, offering a tentative smile of his own, "I wouldn't expect anything less sis...and I'm sorry for yelling..." he looked sheepish
"Pft - it's forgotten," she assured him, happy to see his posture relax a little.
He put his glass in the sink and turned to his sister with a puzzled look on his face, "What the hell do I do about my 'Danny' brain?"
So that's it. Not much of a plot but hey ho. Not long until season 4 now. What are your hopes for the new season?
