The TARDIS spun around in the air, flying hopelessly out of control. The Doctor pulled levers and pushed buttons, but it did absolutely nothing. The TARDIS didn't want to cooperate.

"Don't do this to me now! Come on, sexy!" He shouted. He was pulling and pushing so many things that not even he knew what he was doing. By now, he was just pushing and pulling at random, hoping something would happen. Nothing did. The TARDIS wheezed and moaned, making the ever-familiar noise that the Doctor and his companions knew so well. He lunged for a switch, but the TARDIS lurched sidways and he fell onto the railing, getting the wind knocked out of him. He staggered around, trying to orient himself. However, between being winded and disoriented, he wasn't having any luck. He fell into one of the control panels and a myriad of buttons were pushed on impact. Still, nothing happened. Suddenly, he flew back. The TARDIS landed, and he was left lying on his stomach.

"Ow...ow ow ow...now let's see where we are, shall we?" He said, getting up as if he'd never fallen. He opened the door and found himself staring at a dirty, graffiti-covered building. He looked around and held his finger to the air.

"Ireland. Wait, no. Wait, yes. Ireland, but not Ireland. Ah-ha, I get it! Alternate Ireland! In a whole new reality, a whole new timeline. But something's wrong. Something feels off...this was so much more fun when I had someone around to look amazed and tell me I'm not making any sense. I mean, I could play both sides of the conversation, but I'm not really amazed. Well, I am, but not really...I think I'll stop talking," the Doctor muttered to himself. He took out his sonic screwdriver and waved it around. When he stopped waving it, for claw-like attachments on the sides of the green light popped open like a flower bud. And that's when it hit him.

"This isn't possible. I've only heard stories...but they should have been just that. Only stories."

"About what?" A voice asked. The Doctor whirled to see a girl whose jacket was even blacker than the night sky.

"Who are you?"

"Valkyrie Cain."

"That's not your real name, is it?"

"I can't tell you my real name. You know that." The Doctor looked puzzled.

"No I don't. I have absolutely no idea how this world works. Could you tell me?"

"Wait...are you new to magic or something? Because when someone falls from the sky in a blue box, it's very likely they can use magic. In fact, it's the only possible explanation." The Doctor laughed, and Valkyrie's wary gaze grew even more suspicious.

"Magic? No, magic is only one of the possibilities, only one of the realities. In the reality I come from, there is no magic. It's not possible," the Doctor explained. Valkyrie looked at him like he was crazy. She knew he might be telling the truth, considering the crazy things she'd found out were possible. But she couldn't bring herself to believe he came from an alternate reality.

"I hang out with a talking skeleton and even to me that sounds ridiculous," she said. The Doctor was intrigued.

"Talking skeleton? As in a human skeleton that can talk?"

"He can also walk, and run, and use magic, and do other human stuff."

"Is he even alive?"

"No."

"Was he ever alive?"

"Yes."

"But then he shouldn't be here. He should be dead."

"Skulduggery is weird even by magic standards. And so are you."

"Yes, I suppose so...can I meet this Skulduggery?" Valkyrie wasn't surprised by the question, but she wasn't expecting it.

"Why?"

"Because if you got the chance to see something that shouldn't be there, something that shouldn't exist, something that defies everything you know and believe to be true...wouldn't you take that chance?" Valkyrie wasn't sure she trusted the strange man with the lopsided bowtie. She wasn't sure she wanted to let him meet Skulduggery. In fact, she had half a mind to bring him to the Sanctuary. But that wasn't something Valkyrie Cain would do. The man was right, she'd take the chance. It was a chance she'd been taking for a long time, and it wasn't one she'd stop taking any time soon.

"What's your name?"

"The Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor. Or John Smith. But I prefer the Doctor." Valkyrie smiled. To her, it seemed like an odd name to take. Most taken names weren't just one word.

"Well then, Doctor, let's go off to see the wizard. Literally."


Skulduggery was pouring through the ancient tome. It looked older than anything he'd ever read, even older than books he'd seen about the Faceless Ones. But it had what he needed. It told him what he was up against. But the strangest thing about it was that it had a picture and a message. The picture was a head shot of a man with a bowtie, a tweed jacket, and a head of gaudy hair. The message was only a few words. The words said: 'find the names.' Skulduggery had never seen the man before, but he could guess what the message meant. It was referring to the Book of Names. But Skulduggery knew the message was meaningless. He had destroyed the Book of Names. He was absolutely certain of it. He destroyed the book, and Nefarian Serpine along with it. He took out the picture and message, putting them next to him. However, it was at the moment that he saw a man he didn't think he'd ever see again. He saw the man from the picture, being led into the library by Valkyrie Cain, his apprentice of sorts. Apparently, they had gotten past China without much incident.

"Hey, Skulduggery. This guy says he comes from an alternate universe in a box called the TARDIS. Sound like any legend you know?" Valkyrie asked.

"No, but I highly doubt he's telling the truth. I saw this in a book," was the curt reply. The Doctor's eyes widened as he saw the picture of himself and the message. However, what really scared him was the book.

"Impossible...this book is in my library. I was reading it just a day ago! Or was it two days ago? Or do I read it tomorrow? I don't know anymore. What I do know is that this place is amazing! Two impossible things for the price of one!" He shouted with joy, taking time out of his merriment to straighten his bowtie lovingly.

"Hello. I'm Skulduggery Pleasant."

"I'm the Doctor."

"Is that your taken name?"

"Yes, I did take this name upon myself, but I doubt I did it for the reason you think I did."

"Great. So I found your picture in a book and not even you know how it got there. Quite a mystery, don't you think? I'd say its one we should solve together." The Doctor smiled, and if he could, the detective would have smiled back.

"That sounds lovely. But first, could I have your head?" Skulduggery's excitement turned to anger as the Doctor spoke.

"I've lost my head once, I'm not losing it again."

"Ooh, you have! So the head you're wearing isn't your actual head! Then that won't do at all...give me a hand, then. I like hands. They're very useful for holding things."

"If someone wanted to take one of your body parts for something they won't even tell you about, would you really want to comply?"

"Well, it's for science. I just want to figure out how you work. There's your reason, now give me the hand, please."

"Valkyrie, you have my permission to try your new hold on the Doctor here."

"I'm not going to hurt someone because you told me to."

"Well then what good are you?"

"Well, for starters, I keep you from not dying a second time."

"But I repay the favor by not letting you die for a first time, and probably your only time. And not letting someone die for the first time is a lot harder than not letting them die a second time."

"Just shut up and start working on the mystery already. China's looking pretty annoyed over there. You are suppose to be quiet in libraries, after all."

"Yes, you are," she said, walking over to a bemused Doctor. Valkyrie looked like she was struggling for a moment when she laid eyes on China, but the look wore off.

"Sorry. I keep forgetting that human libraries don't work the same as Time Lord libraries." At the mention of the words, Skulduggery perked up.

"The book I was reading mentions Time Lords. It also says something about a war...and Daleks. I assume I pronounced that right."

"Yes, I'm a Time Lord. I look human...well, you all look Time Lord. We came first. I'm not actually human, though. I've got two hearts, for one thing. And I can do cool stuff. Like wear bowties...but that's not a Time Lord exclusive ability, is it?"

"Yeah, because bowties are cool," Valkyrie said sarcastically.

"They are indeed," the Doctor agreed, not picking up on the sarcasm.

"I was being sarcastic."

"Of course you were...no one seems to appreciate a good bowtie when they see one. Of course, I shouldn't expect any less from you lot, seeing as how you all dress...well, not you. You're fine," he said to China. She looked at him with disdain, clearly annoyed that he wasn't affected by her magic.

"She doesn't seem happy with me. Can you tell me why?" The Doctor asked Skulduggery.

"She has the magic power to make any human fall in love with her upon sight. You're clearly not human. I had no doubts ever since you ran past China without stopping. It's clear you weren't human. And the only possible explanation must be that you're one of these...Time Lords." China glared daggers at Skulduggery, but said nothing.

"Yes..." The Doctor said. He and the detective looked at each other, and they felt a strange connection. Skulduggery saw guilt in the Doctor's eyes, and the Doctor knew that Skulduggery understood his pain and sacrifice.

"Could you do me a favor and get out of my library? You're annoying the customers, and some people don't like your silly bowtie," she said to the Doctor, who looked offended.

"These two go around dressing like they're dead and you insult my bowtie? I'll have you know that bowties are quite stylish."

"Wrong. Only Valkyrie dresses like she's dead," Skulduggery said.

"I do? I thought I just liked the color black."

"Well, yes. That's the difference between you and me...besides, of course, my intellectual superiority, suave demeanor, and incredible modesty."

"And what exactly is that one and only difference that you mentioned?" Valkyrie asked, ignoring his egotistical remark.

"I dress like I'm ready to die."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means that I look good so I can go out with style. People only remember the deaths of the best-dressed. A good shirt can make even the most embarrassing of deaths look good. It also helps that I'm naturally attractive."

"You're a skeleton without a bowtie. I think I'm the better-looking one here."

"Are you two just going to show off how big your egos are or are we going to start investigating?"

"China was here a few seconds ago. You do realize we came here to get leads, right?" Skulduggery asked patronizingly. The Doctor laughed.

"Are you two always sidetracked by witty banter like this?" Skulduggery sighed.

"No. Usually my banter is very well-timed."

"Note that he says banter, seeing as how I have all the wit."

"Yes, I suppose my intelligence and charm surpass wittiness."

"You're really confused about the way things work, aren't you?" Valkyrie asked jokingly.

"I'm confused as to why you keep trying to hold your own against my sharp tongue...ah, I miss the days when I could say that by actually using my tongue."

"I'd love to listen to you one-up each other all day, but we've got a mystery to solve. Also, we should probably move the TARDIS from the middle of the street." Valkyrie looked embarrassed.

"I didn't think of that," she muttered.

"Neither did I," the Doctor said reassuringly.

"That makes me feel better," she replied unenthusiastically. Skulduggery chuckled.

"Valkyrie, show him some magic. I'll get the information from China, assuming she's not still miffed about the Doctor."