The Crazy Clefairy Dance

Mrs. C. Ferry surveyed her class with an abhorrent glare. These four students of hers were worthy of no praise. Delinquents. Rebels. Monsters. They were assigned to her class when the other teachers discovered their inadequacies as dancers. These students could not for the life of them remember specific movements to create the perfect dance routine – a task that every clefairy must and will aspire to eventually. This was a job that only Mrs. C. Ferry could accomplish. And she will not fail this important task. After all, she does have her own secret weapon.

"OK class!" she began cheerfully. "I understand you all do not know how to perform the Clefairy Dance! That is OK! We will take it nice and slow!

"So let's start by introducing ourselves. Begin."

"Doley."

"Moley!"

"Poley!"

"George."

"Makes sense," Mrs. C. Ferry responded quietly with a roll of her eyes. "Now I am going to show you all a series of directions and you will have to remember them and then perform them to the Clefairy Song!"

"How long do we get to remember them?" asked George.

"About 5 seconds."

"That's too short!" protested Doley. "It takes me about a day to remember what I was even going to do that day!"

"Yeah!" concurred Poley. "I need at least a week to remember anything."

"Well we don't have time for that! We need to have everyone ready to dance this weekend!"

"Why?" asked George.

"Because it's what we do! We're clefairies! We dance the night away on the weekends just to return to our meangingless jobs at the beginning of the week!

"Now, let's begin," she stated as she held up a whiteboard with arrows pointing up, down, right and left. "OK? Got it? Good!" she exclaimed as she pressed a button on the CD player playing the Clefairy Song. "GO!"

The clefairies all sang the Clefairy Song and danced in various ways ranging from rolling around on the ground, spinning round and round, or just pointing in all the wrong directions.

"No, no, no!" yelled Mrs C. Ferry. "No! This is all wrong!"

The music stopped and the other clefairies stared up at her innocently. Clearly they thought they weren't doing anything wrong.

"What?" asked George. "I like rolling around on the floor!"

"Well that's not what I was telling you to do, was it?"

"What were you telling me to do?"

"I wanted you to dance to the Clefairy Song! You have to point in all the right directions!"

"You mean we have to memorize the directions?" Moley asked.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID FROM THE START!" the teacher snapped. "Now let's begin again!" she said, bringing up the whiteboard with the four arrows in the same sequence. She pressed the button on the music player. "GO!"

The clefairies all sang as they pointed in obscure directions, except for Doley. Doley wasn't even moving, rather he appeared to be deep in thought. Moley pointed diagonally, clearly not feeling pressured to point the correct way. Poley pointed in all the opposite directions. George was still rolling around on the floor.

"STOP!" Mrs. C. Ferry shouted. "Enough! I guess I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures..."

"And what would that be?" George asked.

"Oh you'll see," the teacher drawled. "You will see."

"Can I see now?" asked Poley.

"NO! Just try to follow the arrows," she explained holding up the whiteboard with six arrows pointing up, up, down, right, left, right. "GO!"

The pokemon all danced splendidly while not getting any of the directions right, however. And suddenly the music stopped, and Doley, Poley, Moley and George bawled in anguish.

"What did you just do?" George asked rubbing his head.

"I smacked you with my hammer," Mrs. C. Ferry calmly explained, holding her giant mallet. "I reserve the right to bash any one of you in the head with my mighty hammer if you get even one direction wrong! Hahaha!" she cackled maniacally. "And seeing as all of you got all six directions wrong! I get to bash each of you five more times!"

"NOOOO!" the students cried out, covering their heads.

"Oh! But you won't know when I'll strike! You just know I'll hit you five more times in the very imminent future.

"Now! Let's begin again!" she said holding up the board now with ten arrows arranged in a complicated sequence. "GO!"

"That was too short!" Poley protested, and was greeted with a hard smack upon his head.

"Not good enough!" Mrs. C. Ferry sang. She stopped the music and flew overhead smacking each of her students with her hammer twice. "You will learn this dance if it kills me! Or you ... it doesn't matter!" she laughed uncontrollably as she pressed the music on her CD player. "Why is no one dancing? FAILURES!" she shouted, bashing each of the students hard with her oversized hammer. "You will dance for me!"

"You didn't even show us the directions!" Moley angrily retorted.

"Awww do I have to show my little pupils the right directions every single time?" cooed the teacher.

"YEAH YOU DO!" George answered defiantly. "How are we supposed to memorize 10 directions when you keep changing the pattern, and you don't even give us enough time to know the moves?"

"OK, fine," the teacher conceded, twirling the hammer admiringly in her grip. "I'll give you all one last chance to impress me." She quickly smashed each of them once again with her hammer, each of them grunted in pain. "Now remember this pattern!" It was a simple four arrow pattern with arrows pointing up, up, down, down. "GO!"

"Fai-ry, fai-ry, fai-ry, fai-ry," the clefairies all chanted in unison hitting each of the directions with utmost accuracy.

"Yeah, we did it!" George exclaimed, as the pokemon celebrated in a group hug. "We memorized the dance! Now we can all go home!"

"Not so fast!" snapped the teacher. "I want you to memorize a more complicated pattern! And this time it won't be the Clefairy Song!" A smile drew across her face as she held her hammer close.

The teacher showed the students a 20-arrow series of no clear pattern and then pressed a button on her CD player. "GO!"

The song was too fast, the arrows too complicated to remember, and the teacher did not waste any time bopping each of her students on the head multiple times with her trusty weapon. The students all ran out of the schoolhouse screaming, their hands upon their heads with their beloved teacher cackling as she trailed close behind them.


A/N: As the saying goes, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely!"