A/N: Despite the title, this is going to be a humorous one-shot. It's going to be what might've happened during the dinner Vader, Boba Fett, Lando, Han, Leia, and Chewy had in Cloud City.
"I've just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever." Lando Calrissian says, as he presses a button.
Two white doors slide to reveal none other than Sith Lord Darth Vader. As an immediate reaction, Han Solo pulls out his Blaster. Trying to shoot at the Sith, but being beaten. Vader confiscates the blaster from the brunet. Another person walks out, Boba Fett, one of Jabba's bounty hunters.
"I'm sorry. They arrived right before you did." Calrissian attempts an apology.
Leia Organa glances worriedly up at Han, waiting for him to do something.
"I'm sorry, too." Solo replies.
They head into the dining room, anxiety levels off the chart. Han sighs as he somehow ends up in the seat next to Vader, and in front of Fett. Leia sitting beside him provides a-little comfort, though. Lando sits next to Boba, and Chewy gets stuck beside Lando.
An awkward silence, well, apart from the occasional breath sound from Vader, fills the room. Everybody is staring down at their plate of food, speechless. Finally, the Sith Lord speaks.
"Anybody ever seen a Podrace?"
Han let's out a scoff as he directs his attention to Vader. "I'm too good for that childish 'sport."
"There was only ONE human who could do it."
"Yeah? I made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."
"Han…" Leia pleads for him to not argue with one of the most feared beings in the galaxy.
Chewy let's out a growl, and Han sighs at the Wookie's question. After some more convincing roars, the Smuggler clears his throat, "Boba, could you pass Chewy the salt…?"
Boba Fett nods, and hands the shaker to the Wookie.
"This food is actually good…" Leia admits.
"Ah, thank you." The seemingly silent bounty hunter speaks.
"You cooked this?" Leia asks, quite intrigued.
Boba Fett nods in response. Han raises his eyebrows in amazement. Who would've thought one of Jabba the Hutt's best bounty hunters could cook.
Chewbacca eventually passes the salt shaker back to Han, who examines it.
"Y'know… salt is like a plain clone of sugar."
Boba Fett perks up in his seat. "Why are we speaking of clones? I'm not a clone. Why would anybody think that."
Darth Vader glances at Boba. So does everybody else for that matter. An extremely awkward silence settles in the room. The Sith not being able to stand it, tries striking up another conversation.
"Did any of you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"
Boba Fett immediately stands up. "It's torture-time."
Han, Leia and Chewy never thought they'd be happier to hear those words. This dinner was possibly the worst form of torture they could think of.
