**I don't own Clarke, Bellamy or any other characters mentioned. I also don't own any places mentioned or any scenes that may be similar to another work.**


Once a month passed without any signs from Clarke, Bellamy began to go out on his own hunting missions using the claims that 'he had to clear his head and get away from camp' though everyone knew that he was going out in hopes to find Clarke. The defeated look on his face every night upon his return showed that he was unsuccessful in his search.

After the second month went by with no signs of the lost princess, Octavia got sick of her brother moping over Clarke. His days consisted of meetings with Kane and Abby as the 'Chancellor' of the remaining 100, hunting and gathering trips that really were just him searching for Clarke, actually doing hunting trips to gather food and occasionally sleeping when he could no longer keep his eyes open and his feet moving.

One night Octavia finally confronted him before he was able to make it inside the gates.

"Bellamy, you need to get the hell over Clarke. She isn't coming back, and even if she did, she isn't wanted here."

"What the fuck are you talking about O?" Bellamy asked, livid.

"Your precious 'princess' couldn't pass for anyone other than possibly one of the Keres." Octavia said seething the word 'princess' and fuming over the fact that her brother was going crazy over the girl who was responsible for hundreds of deaths since the moment they touched down on Earth. "Hell, Finn was a better person than she will ever be."

"Did you forget that Spacewalker was a fucking liar and a cheater? He also murdered 18 grounders in cold blood. How does that stack up to Clarke? All she has done since we landed was have everyone's best interests in heart, including yours."

"She sure has a funny way of showing how my best interests are in her mind when she was gonna let me be killed by a fucking missile from Mount Weather."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bellamy asked, not understanding a word his sister was saying.

"She knew about the missile and she told Lexa before the two of them decided to save their own asses. She left everyone in TonDC to fend for themselves, including me, her mom and Kane. She only cares about covering her own ass." Octavia screamed at her brother.

"She knew..." Bellamy said under his breath, sounding unsure of himself when he spoke.

"Yeah, she was gonna let us all die." Octavia said, glad her brother was finally seeing Clarke the way that she did, as the monster she truly was. After a few minutes Bellamy finally spoke up.

"She knew... She knew if she evacuated TonDC then it would cost me my life. Cage had people watching the village and if he had any suspicions that something was off, then he would have known there was an inside man and he would have found me posing as a guard. Cage would have tortured me within an inch of my life and then waited to kill me until he found Clarke."

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Octavia screeched. "You are still protecting her after she left me to die and killed how many people in that village?"

"I doubt you would look at me the way you do if you knew half of the stuff that I did." Bellamy said, refusing to meet his sister's eye.

"Bell, I know that you shot Jaha, but that was to protect me. That was you having my best interests in heart." Octavia said, her voice softening a little.

"O, can you remember back when we couldn't get in contact with the ark and 300 people were culled?"

"Yeah, Raven's dropship lost the radio and it soaked before we could get to it. Why?"

"O, the radio in the dropship never came loose on impact." Bellamy said, unable to keep what he did secret from her any longer. "I knew that the second the Ark came down I would be executed for killing Jaha, even though he survived the shooting. I took the radio while Raven was still unconscious from the impact and I dropped it into the river, even though I knew that 300 people were going to be killed for it." Bellamy said, waiting for his sister to freak. "Even then I wasn't planning on sticking around here, once Raven got the radio to start working again. It was gonna be on the day that everyone was suffering from the Jobi nut hallucinations. The only reason that I am still here is because Clarke stopped me from running because she granted me forgiveness for myself when I couldn't." Bellamy said, his voice starting to crack. "O, I was planning to leave you behind with the 100 to save my own ass and Clarke wouldn't let me do that because she knew you were the only thing that mattered more." A look of shock washed over Octavia's face before her expression hardened once again.

"And next you are going to give an excuse for Mount Weather too, right?"

"Both Clarke and I made that decision, O. It was the 100 or the people in Mount Weather who turned them in. Cage would have personally tortured everyone of the 100 before he started torturing everyone that they gathered from the Ark. Why is it so hard for you to forgive her?"

"She doesn't deserve for anyone to forgive her Bellamy, and you're head is so far up your ass that you can't even see what you are trying to defend."

"Well, then I have no idea how you are able to stand the sight of me. She has always had the best interests of everyone in the 100 in mind and that is the reason she left. The last thing that she said to me was that she bares it so they don't have to. She didn't want them to have to carry that weight on their shoulders, so she left and took the weight of her own actions with her." Bellamy said seething over his sister's behavior before taking a stab that he knew he shouldn't have. "Or have you forgotten how Clarke has busted her ass trying to keep 100 kids alive when she is barely 18 herself? She never asked for the pressure that came from being the only one of the 100 who had any medical background and she never asked to be forced into taking care of us all. Maybe you would have noticed that if you weren't too busy screwing the grounder while trying to be one. The only reason that Indra chose you as a second was that she knew how naive you were and she knew that you could be easily manipulated into whatever she needed. Now she's dead and the grounders still don't give a shit about you because you never really mattered to them. Did you just expect Lexa to suddenly make you her second? We both know that isn't going to happen because you are as visible to her as you were to the council before you got mom floated. My life ended the day you were born and you have only been a problem since then." Bellamy spat, not realizing half of the things coming out of his mouth in his rant. The only indication that he fucked up was the brief flicker of shock and sadness that crossed his sister's face before her expression hardened into a steeled gaze. He had slowly been digging a grave for himself since day 1 on the ground and now he may have just tried to balance too far over the edge of it.

"Well..." Octavia said, her voice cracking for a moment. "If that is how you really feel, then I won't stand in your way Bellamy. Hopefully Clarke is everything you think she is because I am gonna do you one better and I won't be your problem by tomorrow morning." She said before stalking off, not looking back. Once Octavia had disappeared Kane walked up.

"Everything ok, son?" He asked, which pissed Bellamy off.

"Not since the minute that I set foot on this fucking planet." He snarled, glaring at Kane. "By the way, I know your my 'father', but I want nothing to do with you. You abandoned my mom after getting her pregnant twice and you can stay the fuck away from Octavia." Bellamy said before stalking off toward the supply shed.