"Oi, Kakashi! Wanna eat some dumplings with us?" Gai waved out to the masked boy who was walking past the dumpling shop. He seemed a bit down, dull, and lost. But he continued to walk on, only glancing at Gai. Momo sighed, looking at Kakashi. She knew what he was going through. "Poor Kakashi... It must be hard.." Kurenai sighed, taking a bite of her dumpling. Asuma nodded, "It's a lot to handle."
Being that Momo knew Gai, Kurenai, Kakashi, and Asuma from the academy, she always went go to go eat dumplings with them.
Momo pulled out her money, handing it to Kurenai. "Here's my share of the money, I just remembered I had something to do." Momo stood up, heading out the dumpling shop.
"Wait-" Gai yelled out, hoping she would say bye to him, but instead she says, "Bye guys!"
Momo heads to the direction Kakashi went to, she looks left and right, sneaking from corner to corner. Finally following him to a spot alone, she runs up to him from behind... only to get slammed against a fence with a kunai pressed against her throat. She gulps slowly, looking at Kakashi.
"I-It's me... M-Momo! Kakashi, calm down!" Her heart was racing, she never thought he would respond like this.. He pulls away, shoving the kunai back in his pocket.
"And just what were you trying to do?" Kakashi turned away, walking ahead, slowly enough so she could catch up to his pace.
"I wanted to talk to you... and maybe surprise you a bit! But moreso, just talk." Momo chuckled, scratching her head, she looks at him.
"Oh really? About what?" He glances over at her, deep down he had a feeling about what she wanted to talk about. Momo knew how to read people like a book, she was able to understand their feelings and even possibly help them recover. That was the good thing about her, she was like a therapist. But with Kakashi, he often sheltered his feelings and put up this act that would make him seem cool on the outside. This time, it was clear that he was down.
Momo sighed, slightly getting fidgety. She takes a deep breath and exhales. She was about to take a big step.
"Kakashi, what's wrong?" Momo didn't exactly know how to start. It's quite rude to just say 'Hey! I know what's wrong with you, but I simply want you to tell me yourself that way I can butt in and help you!' to someone who's been grieving and dealing with anxiety and depression.
A silence came between the two. Momo looked away, feeling as if even that came on a bit too strong. She was determined to get through Kakashi, just in a subtle way. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Kakashi spoke up.
"I'm not one to speak about how I feel, you should know this. But I suppose you'll be the one I can talk to." Kakashi stopped in his tracks, sighing. Momo looked at him, she smiles faintly.
The two walk to an apartment complex, in which Momo assumes that he's taking her to his apartment. "Are... we going to your place?" Momo looked around, honestly, she's only ever been to Kurenai's place. Kakashi nods his head, heading towards the elevator with Momo.
Once at Kakashi's apartment, he sits on his bed looking at Momo, who was also looking around at the place.
"Wow, this sure is small. How do you function?" Momo's eyes widened, she sits in a chair, resting her head in her arms, staring at him.
Kakashi smiled, though you couldn't see the bottom half of his face, you could see that he made an eye smile. "It's temporary." He says, chuckling.
Another wave of silence came between them, Kakashi sighs, looking at the ceiling. "Where should I start..." Closing his eyes, there was too much that happened.
"It all started with my dad dying. You know? He was the only parent I had in my life. My mom passed away when I was little. My dad and I were pretty close. I looked up to him. Then he just committed suicide after everyone judged him for saving his comrades instead of the mission. I took that as a sign.. that I should always follow the rules for a mission instead of protecting my comrades. But then, I learned." Kakashi paused, his eyes were still closed. He felt a lump in his throat.
"Take your time," Momo said softly, she understood that one cannot easily just spill their feelings out without some sort of emotion. It was fair to not rush him.
"I learned that.. In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. But those who abandon their friends, are worse than scum. Obito relayed those words to me." Kakashi said, opening his eyes and looking at Momo.
She nods slowly, "Did you take in his words? You understood them, right? Because, there will always be a new mission, but there will never be a friend like that again." Momo says, shifting her position in the chair.
"Exactly. From that moment, I took in those words. However, I didn't exactly follow through with them." Kakashi closed his eyes again, resting his head on the wall.
"You didn't follow through?" Momo said. She tilted her head slightly, a bit confused.
"Obito died that same day he told me those words. He died, saving me. I always wondered, Why would he save someone like me? I'm worthless. A ninja who doesn't protect their comrades. Useless. I always had that same thought in my head, to this very moment." Kakashi ran his hand through his hair. He sighed, Momo could tell that he was holding back a few tears. For what reason, she didn't know.
She stayed silent, holding back her thoughts until after he tells her everything.
"When Obito died, I took in his words. I still felt guilty because I'm the reason he died. But, I realized that protecting your friends, is better than fulfilling the mission because you can always get another chance at that mission. However.. Rin died. She jumped in front of my Chidori attack and I couldn't stop it. It went right through her heart. I could have stopped it, but I didn't know how. I couldn't protect her. I let her die. That was when I felt as if I couldn't go through with Obito's words. That was when I started to care more about the mission than anything else. I knew I couldn't protect anyone." A tear formed from Kakashi's eye. It began to fall until he wiped it away.
Momo got up from the chair, heading to his bed, sitting at the edge and taking his hand in hers.
"Then Minato-Sensei died, protecting the village. I lost everyone. My dad, Obito, Rin, and Sensei. I have no one left. You know what I see everyday when I wash my hands? I see blood on my hands. I try so hard to wash it off, but it never comes off. I'm selfish. I'm a killer. I'm worthless." Kakashi began to cry uncontrollably. Momo's eyes widened, cupping his face with her hands.
"Kakashi Hatake, you didn't lose everyone. You have me, Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, and Genma! You have us. You are most certainly not selfish and for those who call you that just don't understand or know what you're going through. You're not a killer, because if you were.. The village would be after you. You are not worthless. Do you hear me? Listen, you are probably one of my favorite ninjas! You're incredibly smart, You work hard, and I'm not just saying this because I'm trying to flatter you or get you to shut up. I mean it." Momo says, she wipes his tears away. Calming him down a bit, she sits in front of him on his bed.
He was silent. He didn't know what to say. Momo's the only person that's seen him vulnerable like this and not die after.
Momo smiled softly, bracing herself for the story she's about to tell.
"I feel the same way you do, you know." She says, looking down. Kakashi looked at her, Same way I do? What does she mean? She goes through something similar? He thought.
"My mother died. She was killed during a mission trying to protect a comrade. However, that comrade killed her. My mom and I were once close. But our relationship fell off before she died. I regretted it. Perhaps that was karma yelling at me to never take your mother granted." Momo looked at the ceiling. Kakashi was curious, "Fell off? W-What happened..?"
"Oh, it was a classic mother and daughter argument. I used to sneak out and hang with Genma. Back when we were dating. She never liked him, I never understood why, I hated her for it. She was such a judgemental person. But.. Deep down, I loved her. And when she died, I hated myself for it. Perhaps if we never had that argument, she would have never had that mission." Momo sighed.
"But, after my mother's death, It was my father that died. I was forced to kill him in a rescue mission. He was kidnapped by the hidden mist. They wanted him to be something that I honestly can't remember for the life of me. But when we had got him out, he asked me to kill him for that reason. And I did. It took me a long time at first, but I did. So now, I'm practically the reasons for my parent's death." She sighed, She couldn't cry at a moment like this. She was a composed person who held back certain emotions in public.
Kakashi placed his hand on her shoulder. He gave her a nod, "You can cry."
Tears streamed down her face, but she wiped them away.
"But still, I continue to smile after that. It's hard. Outside, I'm practically a happy ball of sunshine, but on the inside I'm dying. I know how you feel. There's someone who I can actually talk to and relate to without seeming like a criminal. Finally." She smiled softly at Kakashi.
After what seemed hours of talking about life and death, they shifted onto a topic about what the future lies ahead of them. However, that was only interrupted by someone bursting through the door.
Momo and Kakashi looked at the person, eyes widened. "Gai! H-How'd you-" Momo jumped up from Kakashi's bed, her face became flushed. Who knows what Gai could be thinking now.
"Do not worry Momo! I decided to take advantage of my youth and follow you! I saw you and Kakashi walk in here and you didn't come out for hours! I see you two also took advantage of your youth aswell!" Gai winked, causing Momo and Kakashi's face to flush in blush.
"N-No! Gai! It's not like that!" Momo shook her head, looking at Kakashi, who was now chuckling.
"Definitely not like that. Momo simply had to talk to me about something that was rather important." Kakashi stood up, heading towards the door.
"Then why is she blushing?" Gai pointed out, Momo started getting fidgety.
"W-Well, it's time for me to go now! Haha! Bye Kakashi!" Momo smiled, walking over to the door, only to be stopped by Gai.
"Where are you going? It's night! Someone should walk you home!" Gai smiled, being so not subtle with him wanting to walk her home. Momo giggled, "Sure, Gai." She knew what he wanted.
Kakashi walks over to the two placing his hands on their shoulders. "How about we both walk her home?" Kakashi smiled.
As the three walked together, many laughs were shared. Gai even happened to notice Kakashi was in a lighter mood than earlier.
"Hey Momo, I need to ask you something!" Gai stroked his chin, looking at Kakashi closely.
"Hmm? Ask!" Momo smiled, looking at Gai. Only to see what he was doing and she began to laugh awkwardly. "U-h.. What are you doing?" Momo questioned.
"What did you do to make Kakashi so... different from earlier?" Gai asked, looking back at Momo.
"Ha! It's not my choice to tell you, but you'll figure it out!" Momo smiled, running up the steps to her house.
"..What?! Hey! Don't leave me hanging! So, no goodbye?!" Gai said, opening his arms out for a hug. Kakashi stood a few feet behind Gai, looking at him and back at Momo.
"See ya Gai! Bye Kakashi!" She waved bye, entering her house.
"Hmph. I'll get that hug one day!" Gai says, placing his fist in the air. "I swear on the power of my youth!"
Kakashi chuckled, "I'm sure you will." He turned back to the route of his house, with Gai following him.
"Hey! So are YOU going to tell me what happened between you two?" Gai asked, getting closer to Kakashi, invading his personal space.
"Nope!" Kakashi smirked, thrusting his hands in his pocket.
"What?! Why?!" Gai complained, he continued to ask the question through the whole way back.
Momo watched them out her window until they were out of their sight. She giggled to herself. Looks like he finally realized, that he has someone. And not just me, at that. She smiled to herself.
This could be the start of something new. She could definitely sense it. And that something new, was something that she would like.
