"Ever since the Finer Things Club started," Pam says to the camera, "Andy's been trying to prove that he's refined enough to join. Even though we don't actually meet anymore." She glances at the book Andy is trying to hide behind his newspaper. "Either way," she says, "that's not helping his case."
"How's that book, Andy?" Jim asks, trying not to laugh.
"This isn't a book," Andy replies, "It's the Wall Street Journal."
"No, I mean the book you have hiding behind the Wall Street Journal," Jim replies. Pam grins at him and while Jim is grinning back Andy slides the book under his desk.
"What book?" Andy asks.
"Yeah, I know," Andy tells the camera, "it's a book for teenage girls. But I can't stop reading it. Kelly lent me the first one and I just have to find out what happens next." He pauses for the cameraman to ask him a question. "Why did I pick it up in the first place? I liked the cover. It's not that big of a deal," he says irritably. "Cornell, where I went to college, has a Quidditch team, and you know, Harry Potter is a kids' book too. It's not any different." He looks back towards his desk, underneath which the book is still hidden. "It's a little different," he amends. "Don't tell anyone."
"He's reading what?" Ryan asks, laughing. He puts a hand over his mouth and leans forward to chuckle. Then he sits back up and says seriously, "Kelly tried to convince me to read them a while ago. I got eighteen pages in before I realized it was the kind of book that only people like Kelly would want to read." He rolls his eyes upward and slides down a bit in his chair. "I'm actually a little embarrassed it took me all the way to page eighteen."
"I don't know why everyone has such a problem with it," Kelly says indignantly. "It's like, the most romantic thing I've ever read. I think if Andy is reading it, all it shows is that he is a sensitive and nice guy who is in touch with his feelings. Unlike some people who only got to page eighteen."
Toby is the second member of the now-defunct Finer Things Club to learn of Andy's reading selection. "Hey," he says when he spots Andy with the book in the break room. "I'm reading that to my daughter."
"Oh, well, I," Andy says, drawing out the words, "I am not reading it. I am holding it for my, uh, cousin. Who is in, uh, middle school."
"Awful book," Toby comments. "But all of Sasha's friends love it, so she insisted."
"I don't know," Toby lies, "because I haven't read it."
"Andrew Bernard is my friend," says Dwight when the cameraman asks for his opinion. "If he wants to read books meant for teenage girls, he can. It doesn't make him any less of a man. As long as he doesn't bring it on our hunting trip this weekend. He needs to be alert so he can spot the groundhogs."
Later in the day, as work is ending, Andy encounters the third and final member of the Finer Things Club. Oscar spots the book under Andy's arm and says, "Oh, hey, you're reading that. Don't you think—"
Andy interrupts, using all of his self-control not to shout. "I get it, okay? They suck. Fine. Whatever. People are allowed to read things that aren't," he makes air quotes, "'cool' or 'intellectual.' I went to Cornell; I read plenty of good books there. These aren't good books. Fine, I get it."
"Er..." Oscar responds. "I wasn't going to say... I mean, yeah, they do suck. But I was just going to say 'Don't you think Bella should have ended up with Jacob?'"
"Yeah I do! I told Kelly that once and she slapped me. Wait," Andy says suspiciously. "You read these?"
"I needed something to read on a train ride a couple of months," Oscar admits. "And I thought the first one was pretty bad, but I couldn't put it down, and then I read the others. So, they're ok."
"Exactly!" Andy practically yells with excitement. "Oscar! You get it! No one else gets it."
"Okay, Andy," Oscar replies, shrugging. "See you on Monday."
"Oscar," Andy says to the camera. "He really is great, isn't he? He just... gets it. What a great guy."
