Flipped.
Emma Swan paced the apartment she shared with David and Snow in a state of sheer panic, reaching for the bottle of Jack on the counter she poured herself a generous helping the bottle clinking noisily against the tumbler as her unsteady hands betrayed her. Throwing her head back Emma quickly drained the tumbler of its contents, her mind still racing at a million miles an hour she quickly poured another, the amber liquid blazing a warm trail down her gullet once more but still doing little to quell her ever rising panic. Slamming the tumbler down onto the counter her hands flew up to massage her furrowed brow
"This can`t be happening. This can-not be happening."
Like a thunderbolt it hit her
"Oh my fucking god. Regina... She might literally kill me this time, there`s no way she`s not gonna notice, it`s not like-like I can hide this… this"
Emma shook her arms up and down a few times gesticulating at her own body in annoyance
"GAH!" She blew out in frustration punching a cupboard door
Double face palming Emma`s hands pulled her skin downwards distorting it into grotesque gurns until they both finally slid from her charming chin one resting upon a muscled bicep the other dangling despondently by her side. Lips drawing into a tight grimace Emma lifted the hem of her t-shirt lightly tracing her taught ripped abdominals past her inny bellybutton to a…
"You have got to be fucking kidding me… a happy trail. A fucking happy trail."
Gently pulling the downy fair hair that sprouted from just below her navel Emma`s eyes widened as they travelled down along its path stopping just shy of the button down fly of her jeans that now… Emma audibly gulped, screwing her eyes tightly shut she pulled down the hem of her t-shirt tucking it into the waistband of her jeans in complete denial of what lay beneath both
"Oh. My. Fucking. God"
Resting both hands upon the lip of the counter Emma placed most of her weight upon them, standing almost on tip-toe she leaned forward banging her forehead forcibly against the cupboard in rhythm with her ramblings
"Think Emma. Think"
Shaking her head, she eyed the half empty bottle of Jack, reaching out she raised it to her lips taking swig after hearty swig until the bottle was almost drained.
"Un-fucking-believable…" She hiccupped "I`m almost the fucking spit of my father"
Resigned to her fate for now and somewhat merry Emma stumbled up the metal rung staircase to her loft bedroom collapsing fully clothed onto her bed mumbling incoherently as the stress of the situation and a 3rd of Jack overwhelmed her
SQ
Hearing the blonde Sheriff`s alarm still sounding as she stepped out of the shower and with no likely appearance of the blonde herself Snow quickly dressed. Noticing the drained bottle of liquor on the counter as she passed though the kitchen she climbed the first few rungs of the metal stairs before cheerfully addressing her daughter
"Emma honey I`m about to leave. I`m guessing by the empty bottle of liquor on the counter top that last night didn`t go as planned?"
"Ugh. Fucking disaster" The sleep laden gravelly reply
Sounding just as foreign to Emma`s own ears as it did to Snow`s she climbed a few more rungs "Emma. Honey?"
"Fuck" Emma said loudly immediately clasping both hands across her mouth stifling the word vomit before more could escape
Rushing the remaining rungs of the stairs bursting through Emma`s bedroom door Snow spun around examining the empty room, poking her head through the open window there was no-one on the fire escape or in the street below, whoever had made their escape from Emma`s room were long gone. Reaching into her pants pocket Mary Margaret pulled out her cell, dialling Emma the call went straight to voice mail.
"Damn"
Trying to remain calm Snow tried the Sheriff`s office surely Emma should be at work by now?
"Hello Sheriff`s office David speaking how can I help you?"
"David. Oh David thank goodness" Breathed Snow with relief
"Snow. What's wrong"
"Well as you know I was late coming home last night…"
"I don`t need reminding" David chuckled "I am your husband and working nightshift does have its… benefits"
"Daaa-vid." Snow warned, this could be serious
"I`m sorry Snow now what`s wrong?"
"Well this morning I had my shower as usual and noticed an empty liquor bottle on the counter so I guessed Emma probably wouldn`t be waking up with her alarm so I called upstairs to wake her only I`m not sure it was Emma who answered"
"What do you mean it wasn't Emma. If it wasn`t Emma then who was it, did she have someone stayover?"
"That's the thing David, I don`t know. When I rushed into her bedroom it was empty and whoever was in there had made their escape through the window and down the fire escape. I`ve tried to call Emma`s cell but it goes straight to voicemail"
"Snow I`m sure she is on her way over to the station right now, you know how she is she`s probably stopped off at Granny`s on the way to grab her favourite bear claw and a coffee"
"I don`t know David I have a feeling that something is terribly wrong"
"Hey don`t worry our daughters resourceful, she is the Saviour after all and she can handle all that Storybrooke has to throw at her, and if not she has her family and friends as backup"
"…"
"You're not convinced?"
"No David something feels very wrong, call it mothers intuition"
"Ok Snow. Ok. I`ll give Ruby a call and see if Emma`s dropped by this morning and I`ll wait here another hour or so in case she shows up"
"And I`ll wait here at the apartment in case she returns home"
SQ
Emma high tailed it through her bedroom window, taking the fire escape rungs a couple at a time she soon found herself in the street running as fast as she could towards Granny`s, she had hoped that after a night's sleep things would have returned to normal but upon waking and hearing her voice and her mother's reaction to it she had had little option but to flee the apartment and to find another way of putting things right, her stomach rumbled and her head ached so what better way to come up with a plan than over a bear claw and a coffee at Granny`s.
Easing her way to the counter Emma sat listening intently as Ruby conversed with David on the phone, silently mouthing to Emma "I`ll be with you in a second" Ruby carried on her conversation
"No David I`m sure Emma hasn`t been in this morning… Not since last night when she came by with Henry for milkshake...Yes-Yes, I promise now try not to worry...Yes, Bye"
Ruby sashayed over to Emma
"Are you the delivery man because if you are I`m sure you have a package just for me" Ruby winked raking her eye`s up and down Emma`s athletically toned body
Oh good god could this nightmare be any worse my best friend is hitting on me
"Sorry to disappoint…" Emma made a point of her eyes lingering on the breast with Ruby`s name tag attached to it "Ruby"
"You sure because I`ve got the buns and I`m wondering if you have the sausage?"
Emma rolled her eyes and chuckled, she had to give her best friend an A for effort when it came to picking up people
"Just a coffee and a bear claw please, Ruby"
"You can`t blame a girl for trying, right?" Ruby flashed Emma her megawatt smile "Especially when you're such a fine looking specimen and all we have around here are literally dwarves and trolls"
"Dwarves and trolls eh, then I`ll take that as a compliment"
"As you should" Ruby winked "I`ll be right back with your order
The bell above the door to Granny`s tinkled as it was pushed open, the familiar staccato of determined heels upon tile floor made their way through the diner to the counter finally stilling behind Emma who tried to make herself as insignificant and as small as possible. Placing the bear claw and coffee in front of Emma Regina flashed Ruby an expression that demanded explanation
"I think Emma has a rival for Granny`s bear claws and coffee"
Regarding Emma, Regina quirked a shapely eyebrow as her abdomen tightened doing an unexpected flip momentarily confusing her, there was only one person in Storybrooke that elicited these emotional responses from her and they disappointingly were nowhere to be found this morning and these emotions certainly didn`t care to be elicited from a total stranger eating her Sheriff`s usual order.
"And exactly where is our esteemed Sheriff this morning?" Regina asked trying to ignore the butterflies now taking flight within her chest and the heat growing within her loins
"Well that's the million-dollar question on everyone`s lips"
Emma sat drinking her coffee casually munching on her bear claw intently listening to the conversation between Ruby and Regina, she hadn`t realised that they were such close friends, her abdomen tightened doing an unexpected flip at the thought of one day becoming Regina`s friend or possibly more. Emma found the Mayor was infuriating she knew exactly which ones of Emma`s buttons to press and she pressed them regularly but there was something about the brunette that had captivated the blonde since their very first meeting but no matter how hard she tried it was impossible for Emma to break through the brunette`s defences, if truth be told right now she was feeling slightly jealous of Ruby and her interaction with her Mayor.
"What do you mean that's the question on everyone`s lips? Explain Ms. Lucas."
"David just called asking if she`s been in this morning he`s waiting to go home after the night shift but no-one has seen hide nor hair of the Sheriff since last night and apparently there was an incident at her apartment this morning with someone climbing out of her bedroom window and making off down the fire escape"
Emma couldn`t help but notice a fleeting moment of something that resembled hurt and possibly betrayal cross Regina`s features at the mention of someone making off from Emma`s apartment but just as quickly as the look appeared it disappeared and Regina`s Mayoral Mask was back in place
"Do I have to do everything in this town" Regina sighed
Sitting on the stool next to Emma Regina pulled her phone from her bag, touching the screen with a nimble digit it lit up with the Sheriff`s face. Realising Regina`s plan Emma excused herself to the bathroom not quite making it inside before her phone began to play Clair De Lune from her pocket, both Regina and Ruby turned towards the restrooms where the bear claw eating, coffee drinking patron had just escaped to.
Entering the ladies rest room locking the door behind her, unbuttoning her fly it was only when her pants were tightly pulled down and against her thighs that Emma looked down, gasping she plopped herself despondently onto the toilet seat
"How the hell do I even work this-this thing?"
Opening her legs slightly she pushed her flaccid penis between them so it was facing downwards into the basin, sitting for a few minutes she waited for something to happen
"This used to be so much easier, drop sit, go, wipe, pullup and flush. What the fuck is this, what are you waiting for I`ve been avoiding this for like 12 hours and now that my bladder is practically bursting and-and nothing, you`ve got nothing… and now I`m talking to my penis-my penis" Emma let out a hysterical snort "Emma Swan, Saviour of Storybrooke, returner of happy endings has fucked up royally yet again with her-I mean his biggest failure to date and I have absolutely no idea how to even begin to fix this."
Just then the dam broke with Emma learning the first lesson of being a man, make sure your penis is secured tightly before using the rest room or it resembles a high pressure water hose, finally regaining control Emma sighed with relief as her bladder emptied.
"Oh my god" she sighed with relief "I so needed that"
Opening the stall door Emma was startled to see Regina leaning against the far wall arms folded across her chest and a devilishly smug smirk upon her face
"You do realise dear that this is the ladies' restroom?"
"I uh, uh I`m sorry I didn`t realise ma`am but would it-would it be ok if I just washed up before I left" Emma waved her hands at the Mayor "My hands are a little, `icky"
"It`s Madame Mayor and you are a hand washer, I`m impressed dear by all means carry on"
"T-thank you uh, Madame Mayor"
Regina stalked behind Emma as she washed her hands, dragging a nailed finger tentatively across a defined muscled shoulder she stopped at Emma`s spine her fingertip instead gently slipping underneath Emma`s chiselled jaw turning her head as it mapped the blonde's contours. Emma`s eye`s drifted closed as she tried to remember to simply inhale and exhale, her abdomen tightening of its own volition sending white hot heat directly to her crotch with every touch.
"What an absolutely delectable young man you make Ms. Swan."
Emma shuddered as Regina`s words fell hot and breathy onto the shell of her ear, feeling all of her synapses fire at once Emma`s groin began to ache
"Regina. What the fuck" Emma snapped back to her senses
Regina erupted into fits of genuine uncontrollable laughter the likes of which Emma had never heard before but wished she had, and as Regina`s laughter subsided Emma only knew she wanted to be the reason Regina laughed that way forevermore.
"It would appear Ms. Swan that you enjoy my touch"
Looking to her groin, Regina`s eyes were already intently studding her bulging pants and Emma would swear her eyes were almost black with flushed with desire. He cheeks flushing red Emma`s hands quickly tried to cover the offending protruding appendage
"Shit. This isn't fucking funny Regina"
Again Regina genuinely laughed
"Ms. Swan, however in this world did you get yourself into this predicament?"
"Believe me it takes an immense amount of fucking talent with a sprinkling of bad luck and I think you might be the only one who can help me"
"Ms. Swan. What have you done?"
