She sees him standing only one hundred feet away. As much as she wants to believe that she forgot what he looked like, his face has been forever etched into her memory and the years hasn't changed it one bit. She can't hear what he's saying but she can hear the sound of his voice echoing between her ears.
There's this undeniable ache in her chest while she watches him, faintly reminiscent of the same pain she felt when he left her on their wedding day. It's tight and her diaphragm is closing in on her lungs and they expand just enough to let a diminutive amount of oxygen in. Her heart is tightened and beating just enough blood to keep her alive.
When his eyes find hers, she feels as if her heart stops beating altogether. The ache overwhelms her now and tears prick the corner of her eyes and she knows that she can't take anymore.
Why she didn't move from that spot as he approached her, she'll never be able to figure it out.
She'll never wish that she had either.
x-x-x-x-x
Burke takes her in with a reverence that he's never had for another woman. Cristina Yang is so much more than what he deserves, especially after what he's done to her; it doesn't stop the gravity of the situation though. As if by magnetic force, his arms want to wrap around her. He wants to pull her body against his and hold onto her and never let go.
He realizes that it's probably a mistake to approach her but it doesn't stop him from doing it. When he breathes her name and he sees a shimmer of emotion clouding over her dark eyes, Burke knows that there are feelings still there.
Without thinking, he reaches out to brush a stray curl from her face and the ache in his bones is replaced by a sting on his cheek. A grin spreads across his lips and he laughs, even though it hurts a little bit now and she laughs too.
"I didn't realize you were the type of woman to slap a man," he says in a silky voice that pulls at her soul.
After a beat, she answers him. "I didn't either," Another beat, "but you deserve it."
x-x-x-x-x
Low words crescendo to loud curse words and the sound of inanimate objects being thrown to the ground in anger. Doors slam and chairs get shoved into desks and yet the sound of tears is the most prevalent sound in the room.
It's always killed him to see her cry.
When he tries to hold her, she pushes him away. The feeling of his arms around her ihurts/i but it feels so good at the same time. He attempts again and this time he struggles against the feeling her body squirming against his, he ignores the feeling of her fist striking his chest hard enough that he's certain there will be a bruise there the next day.
The pain is worth it.
Burke whispers repeated apologies into her hair, hopes that each 'sorry' somehow dulls the ache in her heart. His lips brush her forehead, her temple, her cheek; he kisses the tears from her eyes and cheeks, continuing downwards until their lips meet.
She can taste the salt of her own tears on his mouth and she flickers her tongue out against the soft skin, swallows her sorrows back down. Slender pale fingers splay across coffee colored skin and hold on for dear life as the last bit of oxygen keeping her grounded escapes her lips.
The room is spinning and his hands are everywhere and she's sure that hers are too except she isn't sure. Cristina isn't really sure what the hell is going on or how they got to this point but she knows that the ache has left her chest and moved to a more favorable place of her anatomy and she doesn't want to stop because mindless fucking is better than hurting and she's hurt for so damn long.
iSo damn long/i.
Gripping her waist tightly, he backs her against the wall. He practically tears her clothes from her body and the sound of a button skidding across the floor enters his mind but it's quickly erased by the sound of her gasping his name when his thumb flicks her erect nipple.
Burke trails his mouth over her neck, sucking at the flesh as he splays his hand over her breast. He's already ithrobbing/i and his pants are unbearably tight and she's rubbing him through the constrictive zipper and driving him crazy. A million scenarios play out in his head, his favorite being the one of her luscious pink lips wrapped around his impressive length.
While he wants to take a handful of hair in his fist, urge her in that direction, he knows that right now the one apologizing is ihim/i. He'll simply have to hope that there's more where this came from, that her pain runs as deep as his and that she'll need more time.
He'll give her all the time in the world if she'll just let him.
Reddened streaks mar alabaster flesh, the swell of her breast is littered by small purple indentations from his teeth as he pulls and sucks at her breast with his mouth.
When he slips two fingers inside her, he grins against that flesh as he explores how incredibly tight she is. The other hand takes pause to get his damn pants ioff/i and release pressure on his painful erection. He strokes her firmly, pressing against the rough patch of skin deep inside her, relishes the way that her body trembles at his very touch.
Cristina can barely hold her body up, her legs feeling as if they're going to give beneath her but he doesn't let up. Guttural noises leave her mouth as his finds her clit and he laps eagerly at her. She relishes the feeling of his talented tongue tracing circles around the swollen bud until she's completely agitated and holding her breath.
There will be bruises where he's gripping her thigh and she hopes that there's more where it's coming from. She won't tell him now but he's always had her heart and he always will. Those words will come later, right now she's enjoying the way that he's worshipping her body and the tingling sensation low in her abdomen and fighting release because she wants to experience this high for as long as she can.
He has to catch her when she comes. She's wet everywhere and he's lapping hungrily at her folds, moving his fingers despite her clenched muscles telling him to pull away. Her body is convulsing and she's moaning loudly against lips bleeding from the amount of pressure she's put on them with her teeth to keep herself silent. It isn't until she relaxes that he pulls away and rises back to his feet. He claims the remaining aftershocks of her body with a bruising kiss as he lifts her into his arms.
Cristina whimpers when he presses against her, slips partially inside her. She knows that it will hurt but she knows that the pain will fade and that the only thing she'll see is him. Her fingernails leave crescents in the rock hard muscle of his shoulders and she braces herself. She utters against his skin for him to take her. She doesn't want to do the slow, drawn out, easing into it thing.
Complying with his body's needs and what Cristina wants, Burke draws his hips back and presses into her with force. He swallows her loud cries, draws back and strikes again, over and over until she takes him all in. She's hot and tight and he's lost to the beautiful oblivion that is iCristina/i.
The pain never fades, it simply starts to feel good. Their hips rock together and fingers claw and rake at flesh and mouths meet in sloppy and hard kisses and for the first time in a long time, they feel like their doing more than existing; like they're not half a person anymore.
For once, the pain is worth it.
Burke slams into her, over and over again. His fingers tug at her hair to draw her mouth back up so that he can kiss her once more. He consumes her utterances and moves more roughly to earn more. The feeling of her hand between them rubbing her clit irritates him and he skillfully pushes the hand away and replaces it with his. He twists and pulls at the sensitive flesh until she tenses in his arms and he lets go with her.
Their descent into reality is punctuated by the breathless admission that she missed him and the look on her face says that she meant to think it and not say it.
As much as it kills him to do so, he lets it slide and hopes that it means what he wants it to.
The kisses that were desperate before are tender now and the fingers that were tearing flesh trace wounds gently. There are a million things to be said and old wounds to be ripped open but for now they'll be left alone.
They've hurt long enough and for now they're enjoying the delicious ache in their bodies and the fact that pain has never felt so good.
