"Hales?" he said behind me.
I ignored him and started walking down the street. I refused to look at him for one moment. The pain was sinking in and the tears were threatening to fall but I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of causing me to cry.
"Hales, just hear me out. Please".
I swung around, my eyes filled with anger. "What exactly is it you want me to hear?" I said angrily. "Because I know the story by heart now. I've heard it a million times. You've told me the story, every single detail of it a thousand times now and the other times were when the words played in my mind over and over again until I" I paused, lifting my hands up in frustration. "Until I..." I trailed off, pursing my lips, trying to choke back the sobs.
Nathan reached for me but I pushed his outstretched arm away. "No!" I cried, backing away. "Just don't!"
He stood a little way from me looking helpless. We've been friends all my life and this was the first time I had ever seen him look so lost. The wind blew at his dark hair and the way his hair fell on his forehead perfectly still made me tremble inside. My heart ached with love for him.
We stood that way for a bit in silence as we stared into each other's eyes but he finally broke the silence. "What do you want me to say, Hales?"
I brushed away the stray tears. "I want you to say that it is going to be alright. That tomorrow night, I'll be standing here waiting for you like I always am. And that when the moon is in the sky and the first star is out, you'll walk down that pathway and we'll be in each other's arms again" I said, as calmly as I could.
He hesitated then cautiously walked over to me. When he was standing right in front of me, he tipped my chin up slowly and my eyes met his again. "I want to say that, Haley James. More than anything in the world" he said softly. "But I can't".
I nodded, looking down for a moment. "I know you can't".
"I'll say this though" he said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't regret anything that has happened to me my whole life because it brought me to this place, to this moment, to you" he took my hand in his. "And that I wouldn't trade my life for any other because no one has ever had you to love. Because I do, Hales James. I love you".
"I told you not to!" I screamed at him. "I told you not to say goodbye to me. Why are you saying goodbye to me? Don't you" I hesitated, lowering my voice to a whisper. "Don't you want to be with me?"
"Of course I do" he said pulling me close to him.
"Then why don't you do something?" I yelled, pushing him away. "Why can't you do something? You've saved my life a hundred times before and now I am asking you for one last time; save me by saving yourself".
"I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because if I run away; if I hide, they'll kill you next" he said simply.
"Then, let's run away together" I said, decisively. "We can leave tonight and nobody needs to know where we are. We can be together and nothing else matters"
"We can't. If we do, then they'll start killing everyone in our lives" Nathan said, looking away. "I couldn't live with their blood on my hands. Could you?"
I shook my head no. "But" I broke off, a huge lump forming in my throat. "But I couldn't live without you either, Nathan".
He pulled me in his arms again but this time, I let him. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and sobbed into his shoulder. He smelled so real, so familiar, so alive...but this time, the day after tomorrow, he'd be dead. "Don't leave me, Nathan. Please don't leave me".
He ran his hand through my hair and kissed my head as I hugged him tighter. "It's the only way" he said softly.
I leaned my head on his shoulder and let my tears flow with no signs of stopping. There was a heavy load in my heart and I knew from that moment on that it would never leave me. "I can't believe this is the last time I'll hold you ever again" I choked out.
He pulled away a little, just enough so that we could look at each other's faces. "It isn't" he said gently. "Can't you see, Hales? Our souls were bound at the beginning of time by God Himself and we are meant to be together in eternity. Just because we didn't spend enough time with each other in this life doesn't mean it'll always be this way. We have a million lives ahead of us to be together and I for one" he smiled. "Am looking for to falling in love with you all again in our many lives to come".
I nodded numbly, looking away. Then I looked up at him again. "I love you too".
He lowered his head and my lips met his in a final kiss. It was a bittersweet experience and I would remember it forever. I never wanted to leave his arms. To just stay that way in the middle of nowhere in his arms forever would have been a dream come true for me. But it wasn't meant to be because we eventually broke apart. I nodded at him before turning away; I hated goodbyes and nothing I would ever have to do would ever be as hard as saying goodbye to him was going to be.
"Wait" he said, grabbing my arm. I looked down at his hand then slowly turned to face him. "There's something I want to show you"
"What is it?" I asked, looking back on the ground. He tipped my chin up and as I met his beautiful eyes, I wondered how I could ever let him go.
"You'll see"
