Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor its characters. I also do not own the lyrics to the song. Kudos to J.K and Queen.
"I told you Moony. I told you."
"That was a fluke. A freak of nature and you know it, Padfoot. There was no way in hell that Hufflepuff actually had a chance of beating Slytherin. It was impossible. It was pure luck that the snitch flew into their seeker's sleeve."
"Doesn't matter. A win is a win. Which means I win. Which means you're the one getting humiliated."
"Fine."
The Great Hall was filled with students and staff eating dinner after the long match. Sirius grinned from his position at the Griffindor table and flicked his wand causing the room to fall into darkness. The Hall fell silent, everyone wondering what was going on.
"Show time Remmie," He whispered.
The doors to the Great Hall slammed open and everyone turned to see a silhouetted figure standing in the doorway.
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?" The soft, clear voice rang around the hall.
"Caught in a landslide no escape from reality." A spot light hit the figure revealing one Remus Lupin. Everyone gasped in shock to see the 6th year Griffindor prefect that very rarely, if ever, broke the rules, the only person in the school able to keep James Potter and Sirius Black in line standing there in ripped skinny jeans and black dragon hide boots, with a worn leather jacket over a white fitted tee, while his afore mentioned friends sat shocked at the Griffindor table.
"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see," He ran a hand through his styled hair which was now styled into an attractive unruly mess, not unlike that of James', in an act of nervousness.
"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy." Everyone watched as the normally studious boy walked over to the Hufflepuff table.
"Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low." He stepped, as if walking upstairs onto the end of the bench and onto the table itself.
"Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me." The sounds of a piano began to play around the hall.
"Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger and now he's dead." Remus flicked his wand and a large disco ball began descending from the depths of the enchanted ceiling.
"Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away." A second flick and blue and pink lights appeared.
"Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow," A third flick and this time it was green and purple lights that appeared.
"Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters. Too late, my time has come." Remus began to slowly walk down the table, gracefully moving between the numerous plates and glasses and other dinner items.
"Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye, everyone, I've got to go, Gotta leave behind and face the truth. Mama, ooh, I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all." Remus reached the middle of the table and stopped moving. Waving his wand in a large sweeping motion over his head the large disco ball began to spin scattering bolts of coloured light in every direction.
"I see a little silhouette of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?" he sang as the muggle-borns and some of the half-bloods began cheering.
"Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very, fright'ning me." Remus flicked his wand and another spotlight appeared halfway down the Griffindor table to reveal Lily Evans, Griffindor's other 6th year prefect and love of James Potter's life, standing on the table in a short leather dress, bright pink tights and matching knee-high, heeled, black dragon hide boots.
"Galileo." Remus sang, grinning at Lily.
"Galileo." She echoed, waving at him.
"Galileo." Remus winked at Sirius, who just stared back in shock at him.
"Galileo." Lily blew a kiss to James causing to almost fall backwards of his seat.
"Galileo Figaro Magnifico." Remus sang. "I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me."
The pair began walking down the two centre tables towards the front of the hall.
"He's just a boor boy from a poor family, Spare him his life from this monstrosity," Lily sang.
"Easy come, easy go, will you let me go," Remus sang back.
"Bismillah! No, we will not let you go," Lily began enjoying herself.
"Let him go!" Some of the muggle-born students yelled, getting into the show.
"Bismillah! No, we will not let you go," Lily started to relax.
"Let him go!" The pure-blood students stopped looking shocked and began looking disgusted as more students yelled it this time.
"Bismillah! We will not let you go."
"Let me go," Remus joined back in.
"Will not let you go." Lily countered.
"Let me go," Remus.
"Will not let you go," Lily.
"Let me go. Ah, No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Remus.
"Oh mamma mia, mamma mia," Lily.
"Mama mia, let me go," Remus sang, "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!"
Reaching the end of the tables Remus and Lily turned around so they were facing their peers, their backs to the staff table.
"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?" They sang together, "So you think you can love me and leave me to die?"
They flicked their wands at each other's chest and they began to rise off the table.
"Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby, Just gotta get out, just gotta get outta here." Another flick at each other and they set each other down in the staff table right in front of Dumbledore, who just leaned back in his chair and let the pair continue with a smile.
The pair in question turned in to slightly face each other, their backs only partially facing their professors.
"Nothing really matters, anyone can see, Anyone can see, Nothing really matters, Nothing really matters to me. Anyway the wind blows." Together Remus and Lily pointed their shot coloured sparks at the disco ball, causing it to explode into a storm of rainbow glitter that floated down before disappearing ten feet above the ground.
The hall slowly faded into darkness again as the students, bar many of the older Slytherins, cheered on their two prefects. Dumbledore laughed and returned the hall to normalcy. The pair grinned and bowed to their peers, before turning around and bowing to the staff.
"My sincerest apologies for disrupting the meal Professor, I will gladly accept whatever punishment you see fit to hand out, but I ask you please refrain from punishing Lily as I may have used blackmail to ensure her part in this. And as for Sirius, well, I'm sure you would agree that a bet is a bet and a gentleman never goes back on his word." Remus murmured, "And anyway, it was just a bit of fun and no one was hurt, though I'm sure Sirius was trying to embarrass me, he will be disappointed when he realised I'm not." He added with a rarely seen cheeky grin.
"Of course Mr Lupin." Dumbledore smiled. "Though you and Miss Evans may want to step off the table and enjoy some dinner after such an excellent performance."
Remus nodded and turned around to gracefully jump off the table. Spinning around he reached up and placed a hand on either side of Lily's waist before swinging her down next to him. She yelped in surprise and gripped his shoulders as to not fall over. Releasing her he grasped her hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing it gently. "Many thanks for your help my dear Miss Evans."
Giggling she kissed his cheek, "Any time, hun."
Both laughed and made their way over to the Griffindor table. Lily sat down in between James and Alice and blushed as James tapped her on the shoulder and somewhat awestruck complimented her. In his own weird way of, for once, not asking her out. Shocking everyone in the hall she nodded her thanks and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips before threading her fingers through his and nodding at Remus.
Grinning Remus sat down next to Sirius, leaning backwards so that his back and elbows rested on the table. "Well Siri, was that good enough for you?" he asked innocently.
"Jesus, Merlin and Jupiter, Moony. Since when in hell have you been able to sing like that?" James blurted out, still trying to comprehend what had just happened.
"What do you mean?" Remus asked confused.
"That was amazing, like unfreaking believably good."
"You really think so?" James just nodded. "Oh, thanks James."
"That," Sirius finally said, "was pure" he grabbed the lapels of his boyfriends' jacket, "and utter torture," he pulled so they were chest to chest, "and you were doing it on purpose," he whispered into Remus' ear.
"Well, whose fault is that now? I was just carrying out my end of the bet." Remus said swinging his legs over the bench so he could eat some dinner.
Sirius glared at Remus, "You know James is going to kill you for that little show with Lily," he commented casually.
"No, I don't think he is. You see without me that wouldn't have happened," Remus smirked pointing at the two. "Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll see you upstairs, these jeans are a little more than slightly uncomfortable to sit in, if you know what I mean." He stood up and carrying a small plate of chocolate cake walked out of the hall. Sirius got up and left the hall without saying another word.
A/N, Hey I always thought it would be just like Remus to take something that Sirius dared him to do so Remus would end up embarrassed and throw it back in Sirius' face. but in a fun way. Hope you enjoyed. :D
