Butterflies

Disclaimer: This is all for entertainment purposes only, nothing written here is fact or to be taken seriously. No disrespect is meant towards anyone in this work of fiction.

Laughter floated into the warm summer night, as the two actresses made their way through the rows of trailers. "Shhh." Sandra hushed, "The cast is going to come out and yell at us for waking them up."

Giggling, Cate swayed a bit from the pain of a full day of filming in heels, "And they'll blame it on me because I'm supposedly so loud." She said, rolling her eyes playfully at the last bit.

"That's because you are loud Cate." She replied, earning her a shove in the shoulder.

"You guys are mean. She pouted.

Another laugh bubbled out of Sandra's throat as she leaned towards the taller woman causing their bodies to collide again. Content silence fell between them as the crickets began to chirp and the bustle of the city faded into the background. They were approaching Cate's trailer, and despite the weariness they both felt they slowed, trying to delay the inevitability of going their separate ways. Unfortunately no matter how slow they walked, they eventually ended up at the door of the trailer.

Before Sandra could say her goodnights and head to her own trailer, the blonde actress cut in, "Would you like to come in...for some tea?"

Even as exhaustion lay on her shoulders like boulders, she couldn't say no to the hopefully gleam in her co-star's eyes and her own relief at not having to reside to her empty trailer. Her pause seemed to give Cate the wrong impression because she began to ramble, "I mean, I know you're probably really tired, hell I'm really tired. To be honest I don't know if..."

"I'd love some tea." She interrupted quietly.

Rouge lips paused mid-word, before molding into a smile. "Alright." She ducked her head in an attempt to hide her grin but Sandra had seen, and the simple reaction had filled her stomach with butterflies. Cate struggled with the keys for a moment before opening the door for the both of them. She closed the door behind them as the younger woman kicked off her heels and sighed in immediate relief.

"Make yourself at home." Cate rolled her shoulders, lighting the tiny camper stove and filling her kettle with water.

"You should know better than to tell me to make myself at home Blanchett." She laughed, flopping back onto the neatly made bed.

Shaking her head, she turned her gaze towards the brunette who now lay sprawled out on her bed. Her heart fluttered at the sight of Sandra, her legs dangling off the edge of the bed and smile illuminating her mocha eyes. Snapping back to reality at the sound of the water on the stove beginning to boil, "You're going to wrinkle your shirt if you continue like that." She commented, trying to act nonchalant as she turned off the stove.

"Well what exactly do you suggest I do?" She asked easily, but she hadn't missed the pure adoration in Cate's eyes before she'd turned away. The butterflies began to fly faster, tickling the walls of her stomach.

"You can always borrow a pair of my pajama's, Sarah will kill us if we ruin her clothes." She said, speaking of their costume designer, knowing that she wouldn't be happy to find that Sandra's clothes were terribly wrinkled. However, she didn't quite realize what she was suggesting until it was too late.

"Am I just going to take your pajama's back with me to my trailer or are you going to make me change again when I leave?" She inquired, trying to make light of the situation when she saw how the other woman stiffened after she'd realized what she had insinuated.

There was a long pause as Cate poured the hot water in their mugs, "You don't have to leave." She finally murmured, wishing she could blame the heat in her cheeks on the steaming tea.

A breathy 'oh' was all Sandra could muster.

"Sorry, I don't know why I'm being like this I'm just really tired. Do you want milk in your tea?" She rushed, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Cate wait...don't change the subject I didn't mean it like that." She soothed, sitting up and crossing her legs on the bed.

She kept her head down, a curtain of pale yellow hair hiding her face from view, "Do you want milk in your tea?" She repeated.

"Cate." The older actress said, trying to get the woman's attention.

"Sandra." She responded, just as firmly, "Do you want milk in your tea." No longer a question.

"Yes please, and while you're at it could you get me those pajama's?" She tried to sound confident, but it came out slightly shaky.

Cate's head snapped up so fast Sandra feared she might have whiplash, "What? Really?" Despite her hard expression, her voice was timid.

"Of course! You think I would turn down an opportunity to see if you snore?" She watched in relief as all the anxiety faded from Cate's features and turned into a laugh.

"Are you implying you're going to watch me sleep?"

"Obviously." She scoffed.

Handing her the tea, she ventured into her drawers and pulled out a pair of grey silk pajama's. "Here, they might be a bit big on you."

"Thank you," a short pause and then, "These aren't your only pair right?"

"Who do you think I am? Anne? I come prepared." They both laughed, remembering the night Anne had come knocking on Sandy's door because she had spilled chili down her front and only had one pair of pajama's. Sandra had given her a pair after reassuring the girl it happened to everyone.

"Good point." She smiled, standing from the bed, "I'll be right back." With that, she disappeared into the bathroom to change.

Cate took this opportunity to change herself, slipping on a pair of blue silk pajama's similar to the ones she'd just leant Sandra. When she turned around she found the actress in question staring at her with her lips slightly parted.

Sandra had been fairly quick with her change but when she exited the bathroom she found Cate with her back facing her, still in the process of pulling the shirt over her head. Her brain told her that the polite thing to do would be turn around, but she was rooted to the spot. Her back was as pale as the rest of her, if not more so, but it was scattered with freckles. Briefly she wondered if her skin was as soft as it looked, how it would feel to run her hands over her bare shoulders. The butterflies started to fly upwards towards her lungs, making her breath shallow. Then Cate turned around.

The spell broke and Sandra cleared her throat, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth had become. "Can I just put these on the couch?"

"I thought the whole point was not to wrinkle them. Hang them in the closet."

"Good point." She agreed, "I can take yours too."

"Thanks." She smiled, handing her the suit she'd been wearing on set that day.

Sandra carefully hung the clothing in Cate's closet before returning to the bed with her tea. Cate was already sitting cross legged in the middle and Sandra settled down beside her, tea cupped between both hands. After taking a sip of her tea she asked, "How are you? I mean, I know we've been around each other almost twenty four seven but we've barely talked. I mean we've talked, but we have we talked?" She said, raising an eyebrow to emphasize her question.

They both stared at each other for a moment before Cate shook her head and laughed, "I know what you mean," She said, "To answer your question, I've been alright, I'm having such a great time filming but I miss my kids."

"I'm with you there, I went to see them a few weeks ago but I'm always worrying about them." Sandra sighed, taking a sip of her chamomile tea.

"I didn't sleep a full night for a year after each one of them were born."

"Making up for lost time now I see, you fall asleep nearly everywhere."

"Hey!" She laughed, bumping Sandra again.

"You're gonna make me spill tea all over your bed."

"You better not." She threatened, smile twitching at the edges of her mouth, "What about you, how have you been?"

"Meh." She shrugged.

"That's not an answer, tell me what you've been up to."

"So the thing is, you'll never believe it when I tell you, but I've been filming a movie that consumes my entire day." She joked.

Rolling her eyes, she swept the blonde hair from in front of her face, "Seriously, what's new? How's Bryan?" She asked, speaking of Sandra's boyfriend.

Sandra shrugged, taking another drink of her tea, "He's on another trip. We're kind of going through a rough patch so my sister is taking care of the kids."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Cate sighed, resting her hand on the woman's knee.

"It's alright, things have been tense between us for a while so I'm hoping that some distance will help."

"I'm sure it will, and if you ever need help with the kids you know I will always try to be there any way I can." She said truthfully, "Plus, I know my kids love hanging out with yours when they can."

"I really appreciate that Cate, you're such an amazing person." She murmured.

"Two of a kind then." Cate responded with a kind smile, before she finished the rest of her tea and set it on on the floor beside the bed.

Sandra swallowed the rest of her own tea before setting her cup down as well, looking over at Cate to find her fighting sleep off, and failing. Her eyes were falling shut, only to drift back open, and Sandra couldn't help but smile at the sight. She wondered if perhaps she should leave, it would be easier on them both if she did. There was something dangerous between them, unspoken words, frightening truths, unrecognizable emotions. Yet, Cate was like a warm glow, making her dizzy with contented happiness. Sandra wanted to feel like that forever, she was drawn to her like a moth is drawn to a flame, she wanted to hold that light. With that realization, she pulled Cate slowly towards her lap.

It took a moment for Cate to register what was going on, but by the time she came t her senses gentle fingers were combing through her hair. A soft sigh left her lips as she sunk into both Sandra's embrace and the bed beneath her. Exhaustion washed over her like the tide, sleep begging to be let in despite her resistance. "Sandy?" She murmured.

"Yes?" She answered, fingers working their way through Cate's feathery hair.

"I think I'm going to fall asleep now."

"Okay."

"Okay."

It only took Cate a few more minutes to fall asleep, leaving Sandra to wonder if this was the right decision. However, when she woke the next morning she had no doubt in mind that it had been. Sandra remembered easing Cate back onto the pillow and pulling the covers over the two of them. She remembered struggling against exhaustion if only to look upon the peaceful face of her co-star a moment longer. She remembered finally falling asleep with Cate's hand brushing hers.

What she didn't remember was rolling into the still sleeping woman's arms. She didn't remember Cate slinging an arm around her waist. She didn't remember Cate burying her face in her own walnut hair and in turn she nestling her head into her chest. Sandra closed her eyes again and smiled, the butterflies turning into lightning bugs and filling her with warmth.