AN: Hehe this one-shot is pure humour full of unfortunate events but they're all true in fact they're all done by me no joke; it's just put in Hinata's pov. I have never done well pets and dogs hate me since huge dogs run after me. Okay well enough of my doggy problems enjoy this shot ;) Review please
Oh thanx Shnizel for giving my the inspiration
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto
Pet mishaps
This is so unfair! Why, what did I do to deserve this? First I'm banned from all kinds of pets. Not even a pet rock well I wouldn't keep it but it was still banned. So what, I had little mishaps along the way but to be banned, well fuck them.
Oops foul language not allowed oh who cares this is my mind not mouth, anyway I saw this adorable baby tiger shark it was so cute I was going to buy it right there when dad said no. my frown couldn't be described but it was deep and angry.
Dad said I don't do well in the pet forte well I'll show him, I had many pets and they did fine um… in the grave I'm sure. Let me refresh my memories, Fish? …Dead okay Duck?...Dead… ohh okay awkward.
Do I tell you my mishaps?
Yes?
You sure?
They're tragic…
Okay if you insist, at the tender age of five I had one of those big colourful parrots that talk, it was very hot outside I thought I was doing it a favour and so in the freezer it went my mind told me it won't be hot anymore. Let's just say it came out an icicle, the maid discovered it.
Dad wasn't happy he liked that parrot.
Then at the age of six mom got me a box of baby chicks aww if you saw them all coloured, red, pink, yellow, green and many more. The first day I got them I played until one died, I choked it by accident then one by one they died in my little hands.
Two weeks later I got another batch of chicks…. They didn't stay long… poor chicks.
At six and a half we received two canaries from the neighbours; husband and wife. Since the chicks I've been down but more birds came in I was ecstatic! All day for a week I stared at them and listened to their beautiful voices till my curiosity came over me. Unfortunately.
I wondered how high they flew so one of them was in my clutches, throwing them in the air it didn't fly much actually it came down after it's little head hit the ceiling. It was alive no matter I tried again but it came down and after let's say five times? It died.
I didn't touch the other bird but that didn't mean it didn't die, it died out of loneliness. I was a heartbreaker even when I was young.
On my seventh birthday my brother Neji did the mistake to get me two duckies, he said it was his but mom and dad will get mad if he didn't get me anything, I was happy none the less they were all cute and fuzzy.
They didn't last long… I stepped on them by mistake, hey I was innocent back then don't blame me.
Do I continue?
Did you have enough?
Well I'm continuing anyway, two years later I was given a turtle. It was those tiny ones I wanted to squish it! No don't worry I didn't squish it, as a matter fact this pet stayed the longest with me.
A MONTH!
It was a surprise for my family they thought I was more responsible now since I'm older, oh how wrong they were. It was thrown in the ground.
Cracked shell. Broken back…. Pronounced dead.
Get in the grave Steve!
Ah no it wasn't called Steve, anyway my family are having their doubts on me might as well be called the pet killer with my history.
None the less I got a tank of fish or fishes but I like to say fish because it's sophisticated, dad thought that I won't be able to destroy the lives of fish haha… Wrong!
My experiments went down, that time I discovered fish in fact they do die in oxygen and hot water, first experiment fish out of the tank on the floor. Five minutes passed… you know what's next.
Second experiment put fish in hot water, they become cooked … fish soup anyone what some?
When I think back I'm so creative! Continuing…
Eleven was a good age for me, our house filled with all kinds of birds. Chicken, pigeons, quails etc. they were lucky I didn't touch them instead two bunnies were mine. One was white and the other was black and white.
I wasn't that happy with them all they did was eat, poop and hop no fun. But knowing me I create my own fun, yaay another experiment this time breathing. I trotted to the storage room and got me a bucket with a lid.
The objective was putting them in the bucket for only five minutes and see if they're dead or not, but they stayed for over two hours and they left me a gift… guess
Yeah poop
And not alive
By the end of my list I'll be in hell
Same year we got a green parrot with the black neckline and red beak, but it didn't speak. I wanted to be like my other parrot that I had when I was five where it all started and also I do love art so I got my paint ready.
Slowly and carefully I painted it when it was asleep it was awesome! But I guess it had allergies because it started to wheeze, reacting quickly I grabbed it and tried to wash the paint off.
It stayed long in the water and yeah it drowned. I'm such a killer.
Can I not continue?
Okay okay one last one and it was my last tragedy kill… I think.
I was twelve and Neji got a white rat with red eyes, he said it was for his biology class haha cliché lie I know. Since he said it was for biology I looked up what they would do with a rat and I read about dissection.
I was so interested with what I saw that I had to try it for real, I had a rat, knife, table …. OPERATION TIME!
But it was disgusting with the blood and inner parts, Neji wasn't happy, mom and dad weren't happy so many unhappy people.
And all that brings us to this day, hence banning pets from me. I really wanted that shark too; I would've called it Kisame.
