Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 or any of its characters. Nor do wish to make a profit from this story…I just want my self-esteem to rise a little more than what is already is.
Disclaimer Continued: I also do not own the song 'My Last Breath.' This is the creation of the brilliant band Evanescence. I wish I were as talented as Amy Lee, but sadly, I could never write or sing lyrics as well as she can. Runs off into her new box that now has a heater and a hot tub. All items supplied by Steve, the box seller on 25th street in Denver Colorado.
Author's Note: I am trying out another suicide/songfic once more seeing how my first one was really lame and pathetic. But give me a break on that, my friend had just gone back to Maine and school was starting the following week, so I had a lot on my mind. So I hope this one is better than my last one.
My Last Breath
Time can only take the things that matter most in life away from you. It will take your youth, your love for something, even the one that you love more than anything. But there is one thing that time can never take away from you; time can never take away your memories. There is nothing that lives in your mind that time will take away; there is nothing that you can do that will make the memories go away. Time may be the ruler of the world, but you are the ruler of your memories. Time can be destroyed like any ruler can be if you keep your memories with you everywhere you are.
Hold on to me, love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you
She always told me this. She was so full of wisdom, and yet at the same time, she was like a young child, so full of curiosity, and amazement. She could send a murderer into complete oblivion with just one look. That is what she had done to me, and that is what she still does to me even now that she is gone from this world forever. She is gone from my arms, she is gone from my sight, and she is now only in my memories. But there are some memories that I would want to forget, but they are taking over my life. The memories of that one morning when the light was just barely rising from the east.
And I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
There was nothing I could do, she was possessed once more. Only this time, there was nothing that could make her come out of her trance. She was lost to the controller. Her eyes had turned a bright maroon and her hands grew nails the size of a rifle. Her voice was not hers; she was not my angel that she always was. Quistis, Zell, and I had been following her for several days, watching her destroy anything she could. We had attempted to stop her, but she would send us into oblivion and escape before we had the chance to awake. She never harmed us, we guess that the real her was holding her back, even though she could not stop anything else she did, she did not ever harm us. She cared about us too much.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
We had arrived in Dollet, and she was at the Communication Tower, speaking to the waves that lye just beyond the city, commanding them to destroy the foolish town. I knew that once the water came, there would never be the town of Dollet ever again. We had to stop her, even if that meant hurting her. It killed me inside that we had to resort to physical attacks, but what else were we to do? Let her kill the world? Maybe there was some other way, but she had already hurt too much of the world, we had to stop her before she destroyed this town too.
Sweet rapture light
It ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
"Please listen to me!" I shouted to her as she floated above the top of the tower, still speaking to the sea. She could her me, I knew she could, she just did not want to hear it. I continued to call to her as she continued to chant, but it was no use, I had to look her in the eye, but how was I supposed to get up there? The idea had come into my head, and before I had a chance to realize what I was doing exactly, it was already done. I had thrown a steal pipe up at her to get her to come down and throw me into oblivion once more. She did come immediately, but she did not have a chance to chant one word before something strange happened to me. I was taken over by someone else.
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
The soul that had overtaken me commanded me to kill her. I refused for the longest time before there was another voice in my head, it was hers. "It is the only way." That is what she had whispered softly to me before her body started chanting the familiar words once more. She was sending me into oblivion once more. I did the one thing that she had asked me to; I killed her. I ran her through with my gunblade; I did not have time to think until I felt her blood seep off of the silver blade and onto my bare arm. It was warm and lightly colored.
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
It killed me inside to hear her scream in agony, to see the blood drip from her chest, to watch the color come back into her eyes. She was returning to herself, and there was nothing I could do to save her from the eternal bleeding. I knelt down with her falling to the ground. As I held her head, I stroked her cheek with my hand, her own blood trailing along with my fingers, leaving red marks on her pale cheek. I was dying with her, only instead of going to the other side with her, I was remaining here. Here to suffer until I could not breathe anymore.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture light
"I love you," these were the last words that she said to me. These words would always be in my memories. There are one memory for every time that she said it to me, therefore, that is why I have so many of them. I had held her lifeless body there for the rest of the day, no one came to find me, and no one seemed to care. And that was how I wanted it. No one to tell me that I did the right thing. Because in my heart I know that I did the right thing, but it would never seem like it to me without her telling it me it was okay. But she would never speak to me again.
It ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
That day I had done something that only she and I will ever know about, I wept. I wept for I would never get to hear her say those three words that I long to hear, wept for I would never get to feel her against me in an embrace, wept for I would never feel her gentle lips against mine again, wept for I would never get to see her priceless smile again, wept for I was the one that had killed her. I hated myself after that day, and I always will hate myself.
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
I look back and remember all of the memories that I never want to forget, remember all of the memories that I never want to remember. I want to be with her, but where is she? I would have left this world long ago if I new where she is. But today, five years later, I know that she is calling for me. She will find me, and take me to her. She wanted me there with her even though I am the reason that she is there.
Don't be afraid
Calling me, calling me
As you fade to black
I walked through the training center without a weapon, knowing that there was nothing left in here; nothing was left in Balamb Garden after she had been possessed. Every place in here had a memory with her. In the front of the center was where she had fist learned that she was not just a weak little girl, but that she was needed in this place. Near the water that once ran through a section of this large room was where she had spied on Zell and the library girl that is before she fell into the cold water and had to have me rescue her from the three feet of calm water. And where all the students went after hours, that was where she had broken her arm from dancing around in joy after I had told her that I was taking her to the opera after she begged me for three weeks.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
I walked to the one area of the Training Center where I had first told her that I loved her and looked around on the ground. In this spot was where I tried to calm her down and this was where she had dropped the sharp knife that she was about to stab me with. This knife was the same one that I was going to use to get to her; I was going to complete the task that she had never finished for her.
Sweet rapture light
It ends here tonight
Holding my last breath
I placed the slightly rusted weapon on my vain in my wrist and quickly pulled it across, leaving a long line of flesh and blood in its wake. I did not cry out in pain, in fact, I smiled. I had been wanting to do that for so long, but now that I had done it, I realized that there was not really any pain. I quickly did the same to the other wrist, the whole time smiling and thinking about her. I, Squall Leonhart, was going back to the one that means more than anything to me. I was going back to my angel, my Rinoa Heartilly.
Author's Note: Well, I think that it is better than the first one that I wrote. Please Read and Review! I really like reviews and would appreciate it if you did review.
Jo Pina Colada Tookey Shokisa
Never Leave the Windows Open at Night
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture light
It ends here tonight
