Pasta Night-

During one episode (season 4, but I can't remember which episode) Dylan mentions something about not missing 'Pasta Night' to Harper, before going off and doing something no doubt very heroic. That got me thinking about what 'Pasta Night' would be like.


Dylan passed the big bowl of half-cooked pasta to Rhade, who crinkled his nose and said something about not wanting to die tonight. The only thing good about this meal seemed to be the wine, of Dylan's choosing.

"Just eat it Rhade." Came the reply, Dylan grinned at the new guy. The first time he had had the pleasure of 'Pasta Night' and the food turned out to be awful. Dylan, being the good friend that he was, piled a forkful of pasta into his mouth whilst silently cursing the fact it was Beka's turn to cook.

She looked expectantly at them all, she was not the best of cooks and she knew it, but still they obliged to grin and eat it anyway.

"This is great Beka." Harper said with a wide smile, looking nervously at Rommie, who sat there grinning from ear to ear, and watched Harper hesitantly put a dollop of some sort of sauce on the pasta. Taking a huge gulp of wine after each bite, Harper was sure he would finish eventually.

"It tastes like cardboard." Complained Rhade, who frowned when he received several shocked looks from the others at the table. Poking his fork about his plate he couldn't help wonder whether Magog guts would be tastier.

"Hey flyboy." Beka said indignantly, thrusting a spoon at Rhade's chest. "You are new, therefore the rule is you can't insult other's pasta making abilities until you have made it yourself, so shut up and eat."

Rommie gave a smug grin and said that it was times like these when she was glad she was an AI and didn't need food.

"I agree." Trance said with a smile, quickly tacking on the next part when she saw Beka's face. "Although I am sure it tastes nice?"

She sipped on her wine spilling some as Harper swatted a playful arm at her and raised his eyebrows.

"Be kind Trance, yours was much worse, I couldn't you-know." He made a face and stared at Trance, he was trying to be polite at the dinner table. "Well anyway, it messed me up (down there) for like a week after."

Trance giggled and apologised, again, to Harper. Who politely mopped up Trance's spillage with his shirt.

"I miss Tyr." Harper continued, grinning when he saw the looks of confusion on his crewmates faces. Still taking sips of wine that were ever growing larger.

"Why?" Asked Beka bluntly, placing her spoon down and staring at him.

"His pasta was amazing- nothing like this crap."

"Hey! No one said you had to eat it Harper." Beka replied quietly, she was feeling rather dejected about the pasta now. She also wanted to move the conversation away from Tyr and back to safe territory.

"Does anyone like it?" She asked hopefully, looking around as her friends tried desperately not to meet her gaze. No one said anything, so she picked Dylan to question. "Dylan?"

Dylan tried diplomatically to think of at least one good point about the pasta. It was hard but he had reunited the commonwealth and this should be easy compared to that.

"At least it is not as bad as that cake you made?" Dylan said avoiding Beka's eyes and subsequent evil glare.

The table burst into laughter, Beka sat there grimacing.

"Beka, can you actually cook anything?" Rhade asked her, he wanted to know whether to avoid all food when Dylan's first officer was in control. He was, after all, bred for self-preservation.

"I'll cook you in a minute if you don't shut it, Rhade." He laughed at that and continued to stare out his food. "Honestly, should I just quit and not cook anymore?"

"Yes." Five voices firmly answered back.

Trance laughed as Dylan said something under his breath. Exchanging grins, they fell silent when they saw Beka and Harper staring at them, Rommie and Rhade's supersonic hearing having already picked up Dylan's little comment.

"What's so funny?" Asked Harper, through a mouthful of pasta, the same mouthful he had been chewing five minutes before.

"Nothing."

"Was it mean?" Beka continued.

Giggling while she talked, Trance proceeded to get Dylan into trouble.

"He said he'd rather not have made it back in time for pasta night- the alternative was probably a lot more fun. Sorry Dylan." She said with another grin at her Captain.

"I give up." Said Beka, placing down her spoon and folding her arms tightly across her chest.

"It's probably for the best." Said Rhade patting her lightly on the shoulder, following suit and putting his fork down too.

"I'm out of wine." Harper whined suddenly, shaking his glass upside down , he felt sad. To make things worse, he wasn't even half way through his pasta. Trance handed him her glass and made an excuse to leave.

Waving as she went skipping out, all conversation seemed to die and the room was silent as everyone attempted to digest their meal.

"So, anyone ready for dessert?" Beka asked with a glint in her eye.

A few days later Dylan felt he should apologise to Rhade for a sucky first Pasta Night and that next time it would be better. Guaranteed.

"Why?" Asked Rhade, looking at his Captain who had appeared as if by magic next to him as he had been heading to command.

"Because- Rhade- you will be the one doing the cooking." He smiled at the Nietzschean and jogged off to do important Dylan stuff.