A/N: This Fanfiction is Rated 'M' for a reason. There is a male/male relationship, self-harm, and eating disorders in this. I can't stop you from reading it, but please do not read if this will trigger you. Stay safe.
Warnings: Male/Male (non-graphic), Self-harm (graphic), Eating disorders (potentially graphic), OOC on main characters, ect.
Pairings: HP/DM, RW/HG, GW/DT, RL/SB
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my parents did not name me 'J.K. Rowling' so I do not own Harry Potter. -sigh-
Timeline: Loosely centered around the Sectumsempra in HBP except Draco didn't curse Katie or take the Dark Mark. AU because Sirius lives.
Chapter One: Pansy and Blaise
Draco's POV
August 31st, Malfoy Manor
"You insolent boy!" Father screams at me, throwing a punch to my side. "Why did you not take the Dark Mark?"
"I-I don't want it, Father." I try to tell him after the Death Eater meeting last night, Father was extremely angered that I wouldn't take the Mark. I know what's coming before he says the curse.
"Crucio!" I can't tell how long I'm under the curse, but I wake up on the day I must return to Hogwarts to my Mother right in my face.
"Draco, I placed you under a Concealing Charm so no one will see the bruises. Pack your things or we'll be late." The ride to Kings Cross is thankfully silent and I immediately find Blaise and Pansy on the train. They pull me in and Pansy casts Locking and Silencing Spells, as usual.
"How bad was it?" She asks in a hushed tone, glancing briefly at my arms.
"Not too bad." My feeble attempts to lie to them have never worked but I figure I may as well try anyways.
"Cut the shit, Draco. How many times a week?" Blaise asks, his tone as serious as it always is. They look at each other worriedly and I look around the compartment trying to avoid the questions. The truth was, it happened almost every night since He found out about my cutting. His words ring in my head, 'I've told you since you were three years old, Malfoys do not show weakness. No son of mine will be some fucking queer, slicing his own skin up and refusing to eat. It's pathetic.'
"Only like twice a week. And I haven't been hurting myself or throwing up anymore. Neither of you need to worry. I have a Prefect meeting now, if you don't mind." Blaise shoots me a look, but says nothing about it as I walk out the door.
Once we're off the train, I give Blaise a lame excuse about needing to talk to Sev and ditch dinner in favor of heading to the dorms early.
"Sectumsempra." A voice behind me says and I turn slowly to meet the face of my Godfather, Severus. "Had you been at the feast, Draco, you would have known the password. Do I even need to ask why you came to the dorms early?" I glance down at my shoes, avoiding eye contact as I follow Severus into the Common Room. He seizes my arm and pulls back the sleeve, revealing rows of parallel cuts on top of scars and sighs. "Fresh." He says, muttering other words under his breath that I vaguely recognize as anti-infection incantations.
"You know how hard it is, Sev. I can't just stop overnight."
"I know, but please be careful, Draco. There's a supply of Dreamless Sleep in your trunk, should you wish to sleep."
"Thanks, Sev."
September 1st, Welcome Feast
"My Dear Students," Dumbledore addresses the long tables holding the young witches and wizards. "I would first like to welcome back Professor Lupin, your new DADA Professor as well as Sirius Black, the live-in Auror. I hope you all have a wonderful year at Hogwarts and" he paused, looking directly at Harry as he spoke, "See that people and lives change like the weather. Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."
"Yeah, we get it, now get on with the bloody feast!" Ron muttered under his breath, earning a smack from Hermione.
"Now as some may say," Dumbledore continued, the twinkle in his eye gleaming at Ron, "Let's get on with the feast!" Harry chuckled to himself as Ron blushed furiously, though he couldn't help overhearing two Slytherins arguing rather loudly.
"-know bloody well it isn't just one meal! You know he's lying!" Pansy Parkinson was yelling at Blaise Zabini.
"Pans, shut up! He'll hear you all the way from the dungeons and besides-" Hermione interrupted Harry's focus.
"Harry, why don't you try some of the Turkey?" Harry glared at her and scooped some vegetables onto his plate as well as a small serving of Mashed Potatoes. "Harry you know that you need to-"
"Not here, Hermione." He hissed at her. She mouthed the word 'later' to Harry and gestured towards a concerned looking Sirius at the Head's Table. Shortly after dinner, Sirius found Hume and dragged him painfully by the wrist into his new quarters next to Gryffindor Tower, shortly followed by Remus.
"Why didn't you eat enough at dinner, Harry? You're not slipping up, are you?" Sirius asked, his eyes searching his Godson's face.
"Padfoot, I haven't done that in a month. I just got distracted tonight. I promise I'll eat more in the morning!"
"I'm sorry, kiddo," he says, pulling me into a hug. "You just scared me. Self-harm, anorexia, purging... It was just scary and I'm terrified that you'll relapse.." I pull my arm towards me when Remus tries to grab the left one.
"I have to Check..." He trails off and I give him my arms, glaring at the offending white lines and the thick one near my main vein. Remus pulls my sleeves back over my hands and pulls me into a warm embrace. "I'm so proud of you, Harry." I return the hug and tell Sirius good night as well, before grabbing my cloak and the Maureders Map off of Sirius' night stand.
"Don't get caught!" He yells after me. Under the cloak I roam the halls until I find an empty classroom. I pull out the Map and look all around. Snape is in the Dungeons, Dumbledore is pacing in his office, and Ginny is with Dean in front of the Room of a Requirement. Their dots vanish seconds later. I almost head back to the a Tower before I see 'Draco Malfoy' in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
