Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishi does.

Dedicated to Melissa.

I will always love you,
Always, and Never.


Forbidden Love
Kakashi X Sakura

Ever since the moment she was assigned to me, I never really liked her from the beginning. Also spouting on and on about her precious genius boy. That same boy who shared the same eyes, more like eye, as I did ... yet we held no blood relation whatsoever. Whining on about all the things she wanted to do and be with that boy. I couldn't stand it, her constant bickering, and such. It was bad enough that I had the Nine-tails kid as one of my students, but him ... I can understand. But this damned girl ... why?

On our first dangerous mission, all she did was move her body into the direction of danger blindly as if to try and protect, but instead held her kunai in hand with eyes closed screaming. Damn the screaming, and crying. I had to keep my composure for them, show them that I wasn't just some Adult Book reading, lazy sensei. But I do have to give her credit for standing her ground, and that she wasn't as stupid as she looked, even though when she spoke otherwise. But that was only the beginning...

During that Chuunin exam, I had heard that when those two roughneck students of mine got themselves into a real fight and lost. She took care of them, both of them. And when she was caught in a handicap match with three of those sound ninja, she stood her ground yet again. It was then that I knew I had misjudged her. It was then that perhaps she wasn't all as bad as I thought. When it was her turn to face up in a one-on-one match, and none the less against her own best friend/rival, she proved herself once more to be stronger than she was. She fought the good fight, and even though the outcome came to a draw ... I knew she was satisfied and now was willing to give more. Ever since the Forest & Chuunin exam, I saw something in her that wasn't there before ...

Determination.

She had found focus. Her will to become better, stronger, and more compassionate about her teammates. And with her determination, that was what had drew me in. Time had passed, and her concern for her genius boy continued to grow as well, especially after what had happened in the Chuunin exam and the war against Orochimaru.

And when Itachi came and knocked me unconscious for a few days, I knew there would be trouble. I knew that it would drive that genius boy into becoming a traitor. But most importantly, I knew that he would affect her. I needed to recover, needed to get better, but I couldn't get out of this deep sleep. It was like wandering around in the darkness, the smell of blood everywhere. I wanted to get out, wanted to help, wanted to know if she was okay. It was the only thing keep me from fading away, wanting to see her.

I woke up nearly a week, or two later, one of the sanin, now our new Hokage, Tsunade-hime was standing over me, treating my wounds. I had learned that Sasuke had abandoned Konoha, and that Tsunade-sama had already sent a team out to retrieve him. I had even learned that she, my poor student, even tried to stop him herself, but failed. Now I knew that she wasn't alright, she would be broken right now, losing the one she had loved. It made me focus, I know by now she had already asked Naruto to bring him back for her, but now I would make it my unspoken promise as well. The moment I could move, I left the hospital and went after my two stupid roughnecks yet again. Only would I make it in time? Would I be able to bring back both? I know she cares for her genius boy, but deep down she also cares for that wild roughneck as well. I have to bring both back, then she'll see that I care, see that I'll do almost anything for her too!

Too late. The fight was long over, and there was only one left. Naruto lives, but the other is long gone. I've failed you. I've failed myself in being a good sensei. I bring the loudmouth roughneck back home, and he gets treated. He leaves off with Jiraiya for training, and I let him. As for her, she goes to train with Tsunade. As I do my missions, I check up on her as well. We talk whenever we can, and try to remember the good times. But I am still at pain, knowing that I had failed her in my unspoken promise, and knowing that I had neglected to train her as well as Naruto. Over the next months or so, we gain closer, and I confront her about the painful memories. I'm looking for her punishment, looking for some kind of blow that will just tear me apart. I'm on my knees with my head down, awaiting silently...

But instead, she holds me. She's holding me as if I was one of them. Her arms go around me, she drew me in near, and tells me. "All this time you've been punishing yourself for no reason. I've never hated you or blamed you. Instead, I care for you as much as I have cared for them."

I look up at her gentle smile, and kisses my forehead. From that moment, it was like a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I felt alive now. She doesn't blame me for anything, but instead cares for me too.

Years pass, and now she is sixteen. Over those years we've gotten to really grown onto each other. Spending time with each other as whenever we could, with was fairly rare. But in those times, she made me feel like I wasn't alone anymore, making me feel human again. It was almost as if he had grown attached to each other more intimately. Winter had ended and Spring was about to begin again. It was then that I heard news that Naruto would return to us tomorow. I know her feelings about both boys hadn't changed, and perhaps when either one comes back, she might pick up where she had left off.

And so here we are, spending one last time together alone. Sitting in my apartment on the couch, the lights dimmed down slightly. I sat facing towards the Tv, and she sat on top of me facing the other way, her head resting on my shoulders. All I wanted to do was hold on and not let go. Her body warm and soft to the touch, her heart beating softly into my chest. I didn't know what to say, or what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her so much now, but my mouth wouldn't let me. So instead she spoke.

"Sensei, I'm so lost in my emotions right now. I know I miss my boys, but being here with you makes me forget the pain as well." She spoke softly, and then sighed heavily.

"I'm getting old, and you're still young. You shouldn't worry about such things." I calmly told her, even though my heart began to beat a little faster.

She wasn't stupid, she knew full well about how I felt about her. But for true reasons, we could never be. Perhaps in another lifetime, or if she were older, but until then she was still a young girl, and I was becoming an old man. She ran her hand through my hair softly, and gently scratched my head making me feel at ease. She took a deep breathe, held me tighter, and finally asked me that question...

"Kakashi, do you love me? Will you always be mine?"

I put both arms around her, held her as close as I could, and whispered into her ear.

"Always, and never."

And I rested my head onto her shoulders gently for the rest of the night.

The End.


A/N: OMG...I actually wrote a KakaSaku fic. lol, maybe this should've been in my Kakashi Cronicles, but instead this is actually something more different. Sorry if it seems weird or if I did the timeline bad. It's my first time doing KakaSaku. This may sound a bit hypocritical, but I DO NOT support statutory rape, even when the couple IS in love. What inspired me to do it? Well, let's just say this fic issomething personal from the heart.