Discovery
2003
Ordinarily she was a strong independent woman. Ordinarily, she was confident almost to the point of cocky. And ordinarily she didn't show weakness of any kind. But a mere three weeks as a sex crimes prosecutor already had her parked at a midtown bar downing scotch like it was water.
Already a dozen men had made passes on her tonight. Ordinarily she would have been flattered at the attention. Ordinarily she would have enjoyed sifting through the would-be-suitors for potentially compatible companions. And ordinarily she might have even picked one out to take her home. The highlights of the case she had just lost were still haunting her.
A man was dead and the murderer walked free because the victim lied to the police about his history. He was gay and concealed his partner's involvement to prevent him from being outed. That had gotten her rape case tossed. To make matters worse, the rapist turned into a murderer when he killed the victim and she got a second chance at him and failed. Again the victim's deceit had landed him an acquittal.
I'm a fucking idiot. She thought as the bartender refilled her glass.
"Miss." He said in a comforting voice. "You've had four of these, I believe I'm going to have to make this your last call."
Still with her head hung low she shook it, sending waves of bright red hair swishing over her shoulders, "You stop when I tell you to stop." She said coldly.
"I'm sorry miss but it's the law." He said calmly, "You've had quite a bit to drink, can I call you a cab?"
Her head rose and her piercing green eyes bore into him as she took her glass into her hand again, "I'm an Assistant District Attorney for the City of New York. There is no law against public intoxication of alcohol. Furthermore, New York statute case Krenzler vs. Banner prevents servers of alcoholic beverages to quote 'cut-off' a person for consuming alcohol unless the patron shows signs of erratic, violent, or destructive behaviors or otherwise shows signs of a lack of control. Don't lecture me about the law, just pour the scotch."
"Just trying to help, counselor." He said before returning to another customer.
Casey Novak went back to staring into the brown semi-clear liquid in her short glass. From behind the straight red curtain of hair that shielded her from the rest of the bar, she noticed another figure sit down next to her.
Aiming to save herself yet another attempt at being picked up, she preemptively cut off the body next to her.
"Look, I've had a hard day." She said with malice in her voice. "I don't want company. I don't want to talk. I just want to sit here in peace and drink my scotch so take your pick up lines and go hit on the blonde at the other end."
The body moved but didn't get up. A low throaty velvet feminine voice replied, "Are you sure, I have some very catchy ones prepared. You on the other hand should go easy on the help."
She lifted her head and turned it enough to see striking mocha colored eyes and an understanding half smile. An oval face framed by brown hair with blonde highlights, Detective Olivia Benson nodded to the bartender who immediately brought over a Stoli Martini.
She took the drink and tipped her head sharply, a sign for him to leave them. Since Olivia was a regular he knew to leave her until she called him back.
Casey straightened up as she took in her detective's appearance. Wearing a long lavender dress that highlighted her curvy hourglass figure, showed off her strong shoulders and revealed a great deal of her ample cleavage, Liv looked sexy as all get out. A far cry from the rather mannish clothing she wore on the job.
"Well you're here so where's your partner?" Casey muttered, "Sitting in a dark corner keeping an eye on you?"
Liv sighed at the bitter tone, "I'm pretty sure he's at home with his wife and children."
"All dressed up." The redhead said appreciatively, "Must be a special occasion. You like losing cases?"
"Actually I was on a date." She countered, "He was nice but…" She shook her head.
"Couldn't handle the job again?" Casey replied starkly.
"I just didn't like him." She sipped at the martini, "He wasn't the kind of company I wanted tonight. So I thought I'd have a martini before I head home. I didn't expect to find my ADA drowning herself in scotch so I thought I'd check on you. Call it a professional courtesy."
"Professional." She snorted, "I certainly didn't look professional today."
A hand was placed on her thin shoulder, "You can't win them all, Casey."
"We lost this one because of this stupid idea of homosexuals in hiding because of irrational fears."
Liv set her martini down and tightened her grip on the ADA's shoulder. "It's only irrational when it's not you feeling that fear. People fear what they don't understand. Being gay isn't a crime. It's just a preference for sexual partners that differs from the majority of mainstream opinion. I can't count how many times I've arrested someone for hate crimes against gays."
"It's stupid, Liv." Casey refuted, "If Darren Walker had been open about his sexuality and his partner was too, I could have hung this guy by his testicles. But the victim lied repeatedly to police, to you, for what? Fear that he'd get fired? That his lover would get fired? They were afraid that their neighbors would turn them out? I just don't get it!"
"That's because you don't know what it's like." Liv said quietly. "You don't know what it's like to live in fear that some hate monger or religious fanatic is going to cut your throat simply because you prefer to sleep with the same sex. Think of how many times gays are targeted by dangerous homophobics who feel that same sex relationships somehow endanger them. One would think that having gay men in the world would make the heterosexual men happier because that's two less guys out there trying to get women."
"And the women?" Casey snorted. "How does the typical straight woman feel about lesbians?"
"Less competition but women have a tendency to be more emotional and then vindictive. Jealousy takes over because bisexual women and lesbians are every man's fantasy whether they admit it or not."
"I don't get it." She said again, "What is the big deal? So they sleep with the same sex. What is there to be afraid of?"
"Since gay's first started to emerge they've been labeled as the devil's work, sinners, promoters of diseases like HIV and Aids. They scare the majority of men because it violates their fundamental principles and they worry that if they see it, they might become it. Women are generally more accepting but again their retaliatory reactions are based more on jealousy than actual hatred though there are a lot of homophobic women out there too."
"Men worry about their vulnerabilities and women worry about their egos." Casey snorted into her glass, "When did that coin flip over?"
"Couldn't say for sure." Liv said and sipped the martini.
Casey looked the woman straight into her eyes, "How long did it take you to understand it? How many cases?"
Liv sighed heavily as she thought about her reply. Only two people in her unit knew where her preferences lie, it was a carefully guarded secret that she'd only kept for her last girlfriend. But she didn't have to keep it a secret anymore because Alex wasn't coming back. Still, she felt the need for some discretion.
Liv had a good idea that Casey wouldn't say anything if she asked her to keep it to herself. Elliot and Kathy had certainly understood but then again they were the only two friends she had that knew about her relationship with the Boston born ADA and that was only because coming out to them had saved the Stabler's marriage. Still she wanted to believe in Casey and maybe having something to share together might get the ADA to trust her and become a more solid part of the SVU team.
At least that's what she told herself.
Alex, I'm sorry, but I need to move on. Olivia rolled her eyes gently down the length of the ADA's lovely athletic body. From her long legs to the top of her head, taking in the nice way her pants were wrapped around those lovely legs and contoured to her shapely hips and tight bottom. She admired the way the red blouse allowed the barest of outlines of a sexy lace bra that cupped the woman's small breasts. Casey's slender pale neck was kissable delicious and her burgundy lipstick highlighted her full cupid's bow mouth beautifully. Her eyes were what Olivia liked the most. What would those eyes look like staring into my own while I make her climax beneath me? She finished with that shoulder length red hair that she just wanted to bury her nose in and learn all about her scent. Her thoughts threw her off for a second and she turned her gaydar on Casey. Curious, she comes off straight but there is something else there.
Casey had been a little too drunk to fully realize how thoroughly she'd been checked out but she'd recognized that she had been checked out. The thought was coalescing in her mind far slower than normal due to the rather large quantity of alcohol that was flowing through her veins.
Liv took on a hungry look and leaned in close enough to widen Casey's eyes, "It's different for everyone but for me, I lived through it. I've had those fears and I've wondered how long it would take before someone figured out my secret and came for me."
Casey sat too stunned to move as Olivia downed her martini in one gulp and dropped a $20 on the bar.
Liv slid her small clutch on to her arm and again looked into those light green eyes, "I expect you to adhere to attorney/client privilege. Take a cab home and call me so I know you got home safe."
She walked out of the bar as if she owned the world. As if she hadn't just dropped a bomb on the redhead.
Olivia Benson is gay? How did I not see that coming? Oh my god, she checked me out! The thought was both riveting and terrifying. No longer did she feel like drinking she pushed the half empty glass forward and pulled out her credit card. The bartender made quick work of her tab and called her a cab. She barely noticed how long it took her to get home as her fogged mind spun around the idea of Olivia Benson being gay.
The weekend passed quickly and Casey managed to put away the demons she carried over the case she had lost as she digested who could possibly know about Liv's secret. It was a fair guess that Stabler knew. Hell they'd been partners for over five years now and it was hard to keep that kind of thing secret from the person you work so closely with.
Monday brought a new case to her desk and brought her to the 16th to assist in the investigation. The whole time she watched Olivia discretely for the signs that she thought she had missed but the tough detective revealed none. It was as if she had imagined the conversation on Friday night, a hallucination brought on by too much scotch. She had almost convinced herself that it was her imagination when Olivia caught her outside of the interrogation room.
"Hey Casey." She said quietly, "I know I probably shocked you on Friday but could you please keep your eyes and thoughts on the job? I really don't want to be outed to the entire SVU."
"I thought I was being careful." She replied cautiously.
"Elliot picked up on it immediately and has been keeping Munch and Fin distracted." She said in a whisper, "If you have something to say, just say it, but please don't say it here."
She walked off without another word leaving Casey feeling rather embarrassed.
