A/N: Sorry this took so long. This was actually a request from user Top Kicker. Thank you guys so much for your positive feedback and I'm glad you're all enjoying these. It really means a lot to me. Enjoy.


"It's the hard knock life for us! It's the hard knock life for us! 'Steada treated, we get tricked! 'Steada kisses, we get kicked! It's the hard knock life!"

Today was a special day for Ultron and the Maximoff twins. Today was the day that took a lot of planning and decision making. Today was the day that they went to the beach. Ultron had promised the twins that they'd go sometime soon and they wouldn't shut up about it either. The family was, in fact, on their way there.

The robot was flying through the sky, his two children hanging from his hands and basically dangling from death. Around his neck were several bags; one red, one blue and one purple. Little Wanda sang for her brother and father, wanting to fill the silence that threatened to sit between them. She sung loudly over Ultron's jets, swinging her feet in the open air.

"Got no folks to speak of, so, it's the hard-knock row we hoe!" the red twin sang, her thick accent making the song even more interesting.

Ultron came to a halt above the ground of sand that went on for miles and the blue, never-ending abyss that made little Pietro drool. Ultron slowly descended down to the sand and upon landing on his feet, few humans picked up their things and ran away, leaving an open space for the family.

"That was easy." the robot muttered, putting his kids down.

He then removed the bags from around his neck and dropped them into the hot sand. Pietro and Wanda quickly removed their shirts, revealing their red and blue swimsuits. They turned tail and ran off towards the waters, leaving Ultron to set things up.

The mech jumbled around through the purple bag and pulled out two towels. He laid the purple towels out next to each other and then reached back inside. He removed his hand to find sunscreen in his claws. He placed it back in the bag, realizing that it was really nothing left in there other than chips, sandwiches, cookies and fruit cups. Ultron gave an impatient sigh. Where were they? It shouldn't take that long to deliver some simple stuff.

Right on cue, the sound of high-powered jets came from above. Ultron looked up, watching as two Ultron drones floated down to him, one holding a large green cooler and the other holding a huge, black beach umbrella. The drones set the cooler down and placed the umbrella over the purple towels. They left without another word.

The drones were created for one thing only: helping. Parenting was harder than it looked, so over the course of 2 days, Ultron created Helper Drones to assist him with parenting. They were only used for minor things; being there to watch the twins if Ultron had to leave late at night, babysitting, running errands and bringing him anything that he couldn't travel with all at once. They were a big improvement to the household. They even played with the twins sometimes, leaving the robot with much more personal time.

The Stark Invention sat down onto one of the purple towels, watching as Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch kicked water at each other. Wanda would scream, every time the cold water hit her, but would follow up with a laugh.

"Cap, throw it over here!" a familiar voice yelled.

Ultron sighed to himself, hoping that what he'd just heard was an illusion and Wanda was just trying to play tricks on him.

"You threw it too hard!"

The killing machine snapped his head up to look at the twins playing in the water. Their bodies were flashing in red. They were in danger. He got up from his spot on the two purple towels and ran over towards his children. The jets on his back flared and he took off into the air. He stopped in front of the twins just in time to catch… a very hard frisbee?

Ultron observed the object that nearly took Wanda and Pietro's heads off. This wasn't a frisbee. It was a shield. A red, white and blue shield. He glared around and spotted the blonde head of hair and a red-head not even a few feet away. They ran over to him and stopped with a bewildered look on their faces.

"Hey, uh… sorry about that." Steve apologized, realizing who he'd just saved.

The Stark Invention threw the shield back at the Captain and landed in front of the twins. He stared at them with his piercing red eyes.

"Watch where you're throwing that thing."

"How cute." Widow smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Daddy Ultron's trying to protect his babies."

"No, I'm just standing here menacingly. I didn't want the sand to get hurt." Ultron growled, tilting his head a bit.

Pietro and Wanda peeked from behind Ultron's legs, sending curious gazes at two of the Avengers. Natasha spotted them and sent them a wave, wearing her black and red polka dot bikini. Pietro waved back, mesmerized and surprised to see them. Steve looked at his shield, rethinking whether or not they should be throwing it around like they were earlier. He wore nothing but a pair of red, white and blue swim trunks.

"You can go away now." Ultron threatened, standing his ground.

"Lemme talk to the kids. They're cute." the Agent demanded, pointing two fingers at the Maximoff twins. "Unless Daddy Ultron's too protective to let anybody near them."

"I'm not protective." Ultron muttered, clenching his hands into two metal fists. "Leave."

"Why can't I talk to them?" Natasha retaliated, placing her hands on her hips.

"Leave it alone, Nat. He's a dad now." Another blonde said from behind them, holding a purple and black surfboard. "That kind of stuff changes you."

"Old man..." little Pietro whispered.

"Of course you would know, bird boy." Widow grinned, turning to Clint.

He sent her a smug look before taking a few steps closer towards Ultron and the twins. He crouched down in his purple swim trunks and looked at the children with a big smile.

"Which one of you wants to go surf with me?" Hawkeye asked and Wanda perked up immediately.

"Ooo, ooo! I do!" She shouted, running over to Clint.

"Oh, for God's sake." Ultron grumbled, holding out a hand towards his daughter. "Wanda!"

"Relax, Papa Bot." Natasha laughed as Wanda took off with Hawkeye to the waters. "Clint will take good care of her. He's got kids of his own. He knows what he's doing."

"And I know 347 ways to kill him if she gets hurt." the robot threatened, his red eyes glowing with anticipation.

"Protective." Steve spoke up. "I see it now, Nat."

"Told ya so. Let's give this frisbee thing another go. This time, without nearly hurting little kids." the agent joked, walking away from an angry Ultron.

"I think we'd be better off with the real frisbee this time!" the blond recommended, following up behind her.

Ultron tapped his claws against his thigh, holding himself back from destroying those pesky Avengers. He wasn't protective. He only took care of the twins because of the deal he'd made with Vision. That's it. He could care less if the little mutants starved to death, but he made a promise.

"Daddy?" Pietro asked, tapping his father's leg with his tiny hand. "I'm thirsty."

Daddy Ultron walked back over towards their site, his little Russian son following up behind him. He reached into the green cooler and pulled out a boxed apple juice. He removed the straw that stuck to the front and freed it of the annoying plastic. Finally, he stabbed it into the box and handed it to a thirsty Pietro.

The speed demon took the juice and immediately began to sip away at it. The artificial other took a seat on one of the purple towels and watched him happily quench his thirst. Apple juice was his favorite, where Wanda was more of an orange juice kind of girl. The toddler took a seat right between his father's legs and leaned back onto him, watching the ocean and the clouds.

The two relaxed in the shade of the beach umbrella, taking in their surroundings. Ultron watched the waters, looking for Hawkeye and Wanda. He spotted them and mentally sighed to himself as he saw that the little red twin was okay. The robot reached down and gently pet Pietro's head as he finished his apple juice. He wasn't protective. Not protective at all.

A red creation floated down in front of him with a soft smile on his face. The jewel on his forehead glowed a sunny yellow and the golden cape on his back swayed gently in the wind. Quicksilver's face lit up with excitement.

"Vision!" he exclaimed, reaching up at the mutant.

"Hello, Pietro. Ultron."

"Son." Ultron replied, his hand still on Pietro's head.

Vision took a seat on the purple towel next to the father and son and the blue twin immediately crawled into his lap. He grabbed one of Vision's hands and held it to his face, giving a content sigh. Pietro then kissed the hand and hugged it to his chest.

"I missed you." he cooed, getting comfortable in Vision's lap.

"I missed you, too." the android replied, somewhat surprised at how happy Pietro was to see him. He turned his attention to a rather bored silver robot. "How have things been?"

"Just dandy. It's not like there's a day where I want to rip them to pieces!"

"I told you beforehand that it was going to be a difficult task." the red other scolded. "Did you read the handbook I sent you?"

Ultron's red eyes were as big as saucers.

"I did send you a handbook."

"Handbook?"

"Yes. An Evil Robot's Guide To Parenting Mutant Twins." Vision said, watching his father's face for a reply.

"Yeah, I got it." Ultron lied, remembering how he'd used it as firewood for the barbeque he and the twins had a few weeks back.

"Did you read it?" the android asked.

"Why would I read a handbook when I can just go online and find out what I need there?" the Stark Invention wondered, staring out at the ocean as Wanda and Clint caught another wave.

"Okay then." Vision grumbled, extremely disappointed. "Look up 'How To Deal With A Mutant Child Having A Nightmare.'"

"I don't even need the internet for that." the machine cockily replied. "Just tell the little shit to man up and go back to sleep."

"Ultron!" the red other scolded, the gem on his head flaring. "These children rely on you."

"Yes… go on..."

"And you have to take care of them."

"If they're still here, then I must be doing something right."

"Killing humans at grocery stores doesn't count." Vision said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ultron's artificial heart got caught in his throat.

"Oh, come on! That was funny! Did you see the epic shot I made with his head at the end?" the robot laughed. "Move over, LeBron!"

Vision's face stayed as stiff as stone. Ultron looked over at him and tilted his head a bit.

"Wow. Dead crowd."

The android picked up a sleeping Pietro and placed him into the killing machine's lap before taking flight and leaving without another word. Two red eyes rolled in annoyance. He knew what he was doing. He was Ultron. The Ultron. He didn't need a stupid handbook.

A wet and tired Wanda walked back over to him in her tiny, red, one-piece swimsuit. She plopped down onto one of the purple towels and fell asleep almost immediately. The twins were actually taking their afternoon nap, this time, without a fight. The sound of the waves and intense surfing actually helped him. They actually shut up for the first time in a long time.

Minutes passed and Ultron did nothing but look around at the ocean. It was relaxing. He then decided to look in the sand and observe the humans that inhabited it. There weren't many, but a group of them stuck out to him the most. The Avengers.

Hawkeye was hanging around the barbeque pit, watching the meats that were cooking on top of it. Black Widow was poking fun at a flustered Bruce who appeared to be trying to read a book. Vision tossed around Thor's hammer. Show off. Steve and Thor talked to one another. Between them was a somewhat tan-skinned, blue chested human. He wore shades on his face and made eye contact with Ultron. He removed the shades from his face and sent a wave at the robot.

Stark.

Please don't come over here. Please don't come over here. Please don't come over here. Please don't come over here. Please don't come over here.

Tony pointed over at Ultron's site and all hope was lost. He, Cap and Thor rose up to their feet and began to make their way over. The robot frowned to himself. Not only did he not want to see them, but they were going to wake the twins. Nobody. Wakes. The Twins. Ultron held up a single hand and aimed it towards them. The tips of his fingers glowed an anguished red.

Tony held out his arms and stopped both of his teammates. The two blondes looked at each other and then at Stark. All at once, the three males turned their backs to the robot and began to whisper at each other. Papa Bot didn't let his guard down for a second. His lasers were locked and ready to go. No one was going to touch the twins without his permission.

"Oh man! It really sucks that we can't see the twins!" the millionaire shouted.

"Yep! It would be really nice to say 'hi' to them every once in a while." Cap exclaimed, following Tony's lead.

"But alas, they are in the clutches of Ultron." the Asgardian replied, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. "If only he weren't so protective."

The mech clutched his hand into a fist. He wasn't protective. How many times would he have to say it? He was only doing this because he had to. The three Avengers peeked over their shoulders and watched as the twins awoke from their slumber after hearing the loud shouts. They watched as Ultron told little Pietro and Wanda something. He shook his finger at them and his eyes glowed as he spoke.

Right after he was done, they grabbed their purple bag by the strap and made their way over to the heroes. Steve tilted his head in fake confusion.

"What brings you guys over here?" he wondered, placing his hands on his hips.

"Daddy told us to tell you that he sees right through your asinine tricks!" Quicksilver explained, causing Stark's eyes to pop open.

"He said that if it weren't for the deal he'd made with Uncle Vision, you'd all be dead!" Scarlet Witch giggled.

"Dad said that we can eat our lunch with you guys but..."

"We can't have too much sugar." Wanda finished.

"That was fairly easy." Thor said, shrugging his buff shoulders.

Wanda raised her voice.

"He also said that the next fuck that calls him protective is gonna get a metal foot up their ass and a missile down their throat."