I'm lowkey in love with Lacus/René I'm sorry
originally posted to ao3.
Lacus really loves alcohol and food and drinks and basically whatever can be consumed into the void that is his stomach. His co-workers, friends, and family have all remarked on it, wondering how he'd managed to stay as thin as he was if all he ever did was eat, eat, eat.
Maybe he just had some lucky genes. Or maybe his stomach was truly a black hole, a complete void, and that was why he was hungry all the time and didn't gain any weight after he ate basically anything. Honestly? Lacus didn't care. So long as he could eat whatever he wanted and still look good, who did care?
It also probably didn't help that he knew three people who all worked in the food industry, which meant he got free food from time to time. There was Mikaela and his boss, Ferid Bathory, who both worked at a steak-and-burger joint near the downtown area. Lacus particularly liked it because it was one of the few restaurants he knew who would keep his meat as rare as he liked it, which other restaurants often considered "basically raw."
Not that Lacus was particularly picky about what he'd eat (he'd consume anything, in fact) but he did have a preference of taste. There was just something so good about extremely rare meat, something he could hardly explain.
Anyhow, he often drove Mika to work since he didn't own a car of his own, and, as a reward, got steaks half off and sometimes got burgers free. Who didn't love free food?
There was also, of course, the brother of his ex-girlfriend from high school, Yoichi, who worked as a pizza delivery boy for the Moon Demon Pizza Company. Not only was the name really cool, but they also served some weird stuff you'd never find on a pizza. In fact, Lacus still had a couple slices left of ravioli pizza at home. It was delicious.
When your stomach was a black hole that could consume anything and everything and you really loved food a lot and didn't care where you ate, you had a habit of eating different things on a week to week basis. Which is why Lacus was currently at a bar with his friend Mika, having heard from a customer at work that the potato skins here were simply divine, and that on the first of October, there was going to be free food.
Who wouldn't go?
The two were currently seated at the bar, Lacus swivelling in his seat and staring up at the TV in the corner while Mika brooded next to him.
"I don't want to be here," Mika mumbled, staring down at his beer. He was boring and simply chose a bottle, with nothing special added to it or anything. Lacus had asked for a Cola/rum/vodka mixture. The bartender had looked at him like he was insane, but gave him the drink anyways.
"You've said that three times now," Lacus held up three fingers to emphasise his point, "We're here to have fun, Mika."
"We're here because you want to eat."
"That just so happens to be a part of 'having fun.'"
"Watching you gorge yourself is nobody's definition of fun," Mika took a sip from his beer, glaring disdainfully at the gleaming, polished surface of the bar. It wasn't too crowded here, as the night was still young, but it was getting kind of rowdy, as the people here seemed to be having fun, and Mika sort of hated loud crowds. He probably thought everyone here was being way too loud even if they were having a good time.
But who cared about what Mika thought? There was going to be free food tonight. Free. Food. Not to mention there was a really cool arcade and many large, HD TV screens. Top all of that off with cheap, good food and a karaoke machine, and you have the perfect recipe for a business success, which is what Progenitor seemed to be.
Lacus has heard about this bar a lot in the past two weeks-it'd been really hyped up online and on posters plastered all around town, supposedly being a really popular bar from larger cities, owned by a very rich woman named Krul Tepes. He'd been thinking about coming to check it out anyways, but what really sealed the deal for him was hearing that the food was extremely delicious.
It was like some sort of rare sight that everyone had to check out before it slipped away-a decent bar with good food, all the while being cheap, opening early and closing late.
"You, my friend, need to evolve out of your little shell of spite and make friends," Lacus poked Mika in the side, grinning at him, "You don't know how to handle people."
"You really think you're one to talk? Lacus, you can't talk to people yourself," Mika deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. Lacus pretended to be scandalized.
"Preposterous! Not true! Everyone loves me!"
"You piss people off a lot."
"Do not."
"You have an annoying voice."
"Do not."
"You-"
"Shh shh shh!" Lacus shouted, hand flying to Mika's mouth as he pulled his buzzing phone out of his pocket. His alarm had gone off, signalling that it was now seven o'clock-and time for free food.
"Oooh, siiiiir," Lacus said, leaning forward eagerly, nearly toppling over his Cola/rum/vodka mixture (he should really give it a name, shouldn't he?), "Could I please have some potato skiiiiins?"
The bartender silently wrote something down on a slip of paper before turning around and sliding it through a small window behind him, which Lacus assumed was the kitchen.
"I think bars are a great way to make friends," Lacus told Mika, sipping from his drink, "Well, anyways, what's new with you?"
"I'm still wondering if it's possible to kill someone with a spatula," Mika answered in a serious voice, and Lacus assumed he was referring to Ferid, who often hit on his employees and drove Mika absolutely insane.
"I'm pretty sure it's possible," Lacus hummed, tapping his fingers against the bar, "But I think you should be wondering if it's legal or not."
"I don't even care about legal at this point," Mika drained the rest of his beer before slamming the bottle down on the bar, "I just want to stab his stupid face and-"
"Your potato skins, sir," The bartender said, handing Lacus a small basket.
"Well that was fast," Lacus cheered, instantly reaching for one. It looked delicious-melted cheese and sour cream and bacon...Was there only six in the basket?...He should order some more…
"-feed him to a tank of piranhas," Mika finished as Lacus stuffed two whole potato skins in his mouth. His eyes lit up at the taste, suddenly eager for about a hundred potato skins. These were good! The customer hadn't been kidding!
"Mika, shut up and eat the potato," Lacus said, shoving one into Mika's mouth. Mika gagged and tore the potato skin out of his mouth, trailing sour cream and cheese down his chin.
"I hate going out to eat with you," He mumbled, rubbing his face in his hands, "I have class tomorrow afternoon, too-"
"We're definitely coming back here again," Lacus grinned, and Mika responded sharply with a "No."
Lacus had returned to Progenitor three times since then in two weeks, each time getting the potato skins and a different combination of alcohol (by far, his favorite was orange juice and tequila with blueberry syrup, which he'd ordered as soon as he realized that the bar also had ice-cream and blueberry syrup was a choice for a topping) and was thoroughly enjoying the bar. He planned to try out the karaoke the next time he returned, which he'd planned to be that night.
Doodling in his sketchbook (that was supposed to be strictly for tattoo designs, but whatever) Lacus drew the interior of the bar, with the bartender wiping a glass, blond hair pushed back. A customer slumped over the bar, with a glass in hand. The lighting varying, depending where the strobe lights were shining and flashing…
"Welt, what's all this?" His boss suddenly demanded, seemingly coming out from nowhere and gesturing to Lacus's table, which was covered in styrofoam ramen cups.
"Ahaha, you see, I sort of...Forgot...To clean up…" Lacus said, instantly beginning to gather up the trash in one hand. Few people scared Lacus (not because he was brave or anything, but he just had such a laidback attitude to everything that it took a lot to get him worked up) but his boss, Fujikage-san, terrified him. He was large, muscular, and covered, head to foot, in various tattoos. Lacus wasn't even sure what some of them were . He knew next to nothing about his boss, only his surname and the fact that whenever he entered the room, he instantly made Lacus feel like wanting to become a better person in life so he wouldn't get angry at him.
Even more terrifying than his boss, however, was the owner of the tattoo company-Lest Karr, who was really short and young-looking, seemingly non-threatening, but the way he spoke and the air he gave off whenever he visited sort of freaked Lacus out. His co-workers, Sachiko, Riku, and Cleon seemed to be uneasy as well whenever Lest came by, but whenever Lacus asked them about it, they all ignored him.
Currently, Cleon was working the registers while the rest of them lazed around, doing absolutely nothing, waiting for a customer or something.
Lacus had dropped out of college midway, feeling too lazy to actually attend any of his classes, and had been particularly interested in drawing and art. He didn't really know what he wanted to do, but his sort-of-ex-girlfriend and ex-co-worker, Tomoe, suggested the tattoo parlor for him. Drawing and designing seemed cool enough, so he'd filled out an application and practiced on leather.
Now, he was sort of regretting the decision. The designing and actual tattoo part was cool, but it just seemed really boring any other time of the day. Piercings seemed to be more popular than tattoos right now, anyways, but the others often shot down his ideas of "Let's do piercings, too!"
Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket, and Lacus took it out, dumping the styrofoam cups in the trashcan.
Mika-Mika: I'm going to kill Ferid. I'm going to hide his body at your place. Cover him in tattoos. Make him unrecognizable. The police will never know.
Me: mikaaaaa no i dont have enough ink
Mika-Mika: Steal some from work.
Me: dude no id get fired
Mika-Mika: Okay the downside is that you'd get fired but the upside is that you'd never hear from Ferid again? Please consider this.
Me: well ferid supplies like half of my free food at lifeblood so nah
Mika-Mika: Fuck.
Me: sounds like you need a driNK! :DDDDDDD
Mika-Mika: I don't need a drink.
Me: :DDDDDDD
Mika-Mika: I'm not going to Progenitor with you ever again.
Me: :DDDDDDDD
Mika-Mika: I'm not going ANYWHERE with you ever again.
Me: DDDDDDD:
Mika-Mika: Ugh. Fine. But you're paying.
"WELT! GET BACK TO WORK!" Fujikage shouted from the back office.
"What work, though?" Lacus rolled his eyes, but squeaked in fear when he saw Fujikage peer out of the office with a scary look on his face. "I mean, sir yes sir, I'm working, now! Working!"
There was something different about Progenitor, this time.
The colorful strobe lights, the polished bar, the comfortable seats and the potato skins were all the same, but instead of the blond bartender that had been there since Lacus first came, it was a taller man with black hair and red eyes, the hair on the side of his head pulled back with some sort of hairclip...Or a headband? Lacus honestly couldn't tell.
Besides, he had totally weird red eyes. Lacus's eyes often got mistaken for red (they were amber, by the way, which sort of looked red in certain lighting) but Lacus had never actually seen red eyes before.
Man, they're totally weird! He thought, but then instantly chided himself.
Shut up Lacus, you have purple hair.
"Saké mixed with root beer and whiskey, pleeeease," Lacus said excitedly as he and Mika sat the bar. Surprisingly, the bartender did not give him a strange look or do a double-take, and instead set to work on making the drink.
"Mojito, please. And how could you drink that?" Mika glared at the mixture being made, a look of disgust forming on his face, "You order the strangest things, Lacus."
"I know no bounds," Lacus bragged as the bartender slid the drink over to him silently, "Hey, you're new. Who're you?"
"I'm not new, I've been working here for a couple of weeks, now," The bartender answered, getting to work on Mika's-totally boring-mojito cocktail. "This is my first Friday shift. Me and Kida's schedules got flipped."
"Kida's the blond dude, right?" Lacus asked, gesturing to Mika, "Like this, but darker?"
The bartender nodded.
"Ah, well, if your schedules got flipped, guess you're gonna be here every Friday from now on," Lacus grinned, sipping from his drink. Hmm. Not his favorite, but good enough. "Ah, I'm Lacus. I'll be coming here often. The potato skins are totally the best."
"René," The bartender said, before sliding the mojito over to Mika, who instantly drained about half of it.
"Mika, there's a straw for a reason."
"Lacus, I had a long day today."
"You've been very talkative recently, even if you're only complaining about Ferid. I think you need a pizza."
"I don't need a pizza."
"You're coming to my house. And we're ordering a pizza. "
"I don't want a pizza, Lacus."
"Moon Demon Pizza Company Special, blood oranges and sausage!"
"Who puts blood oranges on a pizza?!" Mika exclaimed, reeling away from Lacus's gleeful face, "That sounds disgusting! "
"It's not, though," Lacus insisted, scooting closer to his blond friend, "I promise, Mikaaa!"
"That's what you said about the spaghetti pie. Do you remember the spaghetti pie, Lacus? Because I do. I remember the spaghetti pie."
"Actually, the blood orange pizza is quite good," René spoke up, taking an empty glass from another man and beginning to wipe it with a washcloth. Lacus pointed at René, grinning, and said,
"You. I like you. See? He agrees with me, Mika! It's totally delicious!"
Mika didn't respond for a while after that, instead drinking from his mojito and glaring up at the strobe lights. Lacus had planned to try out the karaoke machine today, but he supposed that could wait. Mika needed a pizza. And a movie. Possibly some more drinks.
"I guess we'll go home, then," Lacus said as soon as he finished his drink (and the potato skins), patting Mika on the back, "By the way, I'm like, ninety percent sure my landlord is about to kick me out because I missed another payment, so there's boxes everywhere. But I'm sure you'll feel better with some pizza and a movie!"
Mika let out a strange noise that was somewhere between a scream, a sob, and a laugh. The two stood up (Mika, begrudgingly) and Lacus waved to René. He seemed pretty interesting. They even liked the same pizza company, apparently. Totally cool, right? But René wasn't very important, right now. What was important was getting Mika a pizza.
The flats Lacus lived in were pretty run-down compared to the surrounding area, but they were still decent. Currently, his living room was full of boxes he'd pulled out in case he needed to start packing things and crash at Ferid's (again) but he'd procrastinated actually doing it. He could probably make enough money to pay for the missed payments and this month's payment, and avoid crawling back to his landlord begging to get his flat back (again).
"Pick a movie," Lacus ordered, pointing to the small bookshelf near the TV, where his DVDs were all lined up in what had once been alphabetical order, but somewhere along the way the O's got mixed up with the Q's and the R's were before the D's, so now it was just a big mess. He had the Moon Demon Pizza Company on speed dial, and it only took one ring before someone picked up.
"Hello, Lacus."
"Aww, Mitsuba, is that you? How'd you know it was me?"
"I've seen your number on the ID screen enough to recognize it as soon as I see it." Came an unimpressed voice.
"You make that sound bad," Lacus grinned, "Anyways, I'd like to order the Moon Demon Pizza Company Special, please~!"
"We're all out of blood oranges."
"Oh," Lacus deflated, suddenly discouraged. He turned to Mika and said, "They're all out of blood oranges, dude."
Mika let out a noise that might've been triumphant as he boredly searched through the movies.
"Want something else?" Mitsuba asked.
"Hmmm…" Lacus hummed, leaning against the wall. Well, he had really wanted the special, but if they were out... "Surprise me!"