zou: Hiiii~ Again me ;)
zoe: And here I am too ;D
zou: Shut up zoe, nobody cares about you ¬¬
zoe: People love me more than they could love you bitch! ¬w¬ Anyway. I see that we have a new fic here.
zou: We? Hahahahahhahaha yeah yeah zoe this is a waifu's work
zoe: Waifu? ¬¬ who's now?
zou: My dear waifu and beta of this story Kiy (RawrFox here) thank you for all aifuuu~ you know that I love you 3 LETS CREATE THE BEST FIC OF THIS COUPLE EVER(?)!
zoe- Yeah I see the love ¬¬
zou: Jealous baby?
zoe: Hahahhahaha jealous? I? NEVER ¬¬
zou: TToTT 'kaaay! u-u
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, do you really think that I were here writing this if HP saga was mine? Noooo Babies. If I own HP SiriusxRemus would be canon and my husbando Georgie had never lost his ear ;o;...soooo, my labor is done, so do not expect for a disclaimer each chapter :D love you, hope you like it it's made with lovee 33
Please Remember Me.
He looked once more at the american photo frame that he bought in a muggle store last time he visited London with his godfather.
It was amazing, 8 frames in one, so he could put there 8 photos. But two were empty and he just couldn't find two important photos to fill them.
I know that you won't recognize my handwriting, but I am certain that you know who I am. Let me introduce myself and tell you this. It is important for me. I want you to... no I need you to know these things about me, about who I was, what I did, the people that I loved… I won't tell you why I'm not with you, because I am sure that you already have that knowledge, your grandma should told you ever.
I am Remus John Lupin, I was born March 10, I am a half-blood. I am a lycanthrope, a marauder and of course, your father.
I wonder how you are physically. At your birth your hair was black, but I swear a moment later it turned ginger and over an hour it had become at least three different colors. Your grandmother recalled that your mom's hair started changing color the day she was born. I laughed merrily.
I on the other hand, have always been pale and sickly, yet I would very like if possible in any moment without your metamorphic abilities you could have my brown honey eyes or perhaps my light brown hair. Maybe you could even look like a Black.
I am sure it sounds weird, but I really want to talk about the Black family. Well, the only two members of the pure blood Black lineage that dared skip the strict family laws and become close to a person like me and lost all they owned by the way. The two persons that I happen to love the most in the entire world.
Before you start judging me, please read all these pages that I'm writing with all my love to you. I want you to know everything, I won't hide or lie. Not to you, my boy.
First of all, I want to confess that you are the second man that I've ever loved. Who's the first one that touched my heart?
Sirius Black.
Your uncle.
I can still remember the first time that my gaze met with his. I felt an awkward movement running within me. The instant his stormy grey-eyes met mine something started beating inside, deep inside. I couldn't move, it was worse than falling under one of those mistletoe traps in Hogwarts during Christmas.
…
The moment the Hogwarts express entered his view as he passed through the magic barrier and entered Platform 9 3/4, he couldn't keep walking. His feet glued to the floor and his heart sank. But the tender embrace that his mother gave him filled him with courage. That did not exactly stop the shivering and all the doubts and fears that cluttered in his head but at least helped him move again. After a deep sigh he smiled, hugged his dear mother goodbye and realized that the time to step into the express arrived.
He pressed his robes tighter and walked through the corridor looking for an empty compartment or one with the least number of students in it that could ask about his scars or worse, people that would look at him as some weird monster.
"S-sorry" he muttered when his body crashed with another stronger making him stumble backwards. His eyes turned to look at a boy with unbuttoned black shirt, dress pants, shiny shoes and sided tunic. When their eyes meet the little Remus blushed, the gray eyes were examining him up and down. Quickly, the short looked away and hid his face before saying sorry again and walked away. 'Freak' and a laugh were the last things that he heard as he walked down the aisle.
Just down the corridor, almost the last wagon Remus resigned and entered to the compartment with a very shy smile "E-excuse me. C-can I take a seat? The train's full"
"Of course you can. Right, Severus?" a pretty red headed girl with big and beautiful green eyes smiled at him. He returned the smile and looked at the boy seating just across the girl, but he only nodded. He didn't look as friendly as her.
"My name is Lily, Lily Evans, this is my childhood friend Severus Snape"
"Remus Lupin, nice to meet you" That was the first time he smiled. Snape raised a brow and made a very thorough inspection of him. Remus tried to with his hands, robes, hair, whatever he could to hide the scars on his face.
After that, the trip was relatively fine. The words between Remus and Snape were scarce but when Lily made a question -about candies, typical meal or whatever- both of them were happy to explain everything to her and the differences between them were erased momentarily.
"I'm pretty sure I will go to Slytherin, don't you Lily?"
"Well, I am not very sure, I could be in Ravenclaw or even Gryffindor, maybe Hufflepuff" Snape gave her a serious gaze, and Remus noticed. "I mean, I'm...I don't know Severus. I...What about you Remus?" she almost yelled "Sorry! Can I call you Remus?"
A shy smile appeared on his face and he nodded. "Yes, of course you can".
"What about you? In my opinion you don't look as courageous as a Griffindor" snapped Snape to break the moment.
"Severus!"
Lily punched him on the shoulder sending him some angry glares.
"Well, I'm actually a coward" Remus hid his face. "I guess that maybe I'm going to be selected in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. I love books, and I'm not pure-blood so..."
"Oh, you mean you're-"
"Blood is not important!" the girl yelled grabbing Remus' hands. "Severus, Remus. Look! We're arriving"
Lil's always gave me the strength to keep going on. She was my first, true best friend, and I will always love her because of that. Because shewas there for me when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves.
You should ask Harry to show you some photographs so that can at least meet them. I'm sure he would enjoy spending time with you and sharing old memories.
I know that this is just a letter, but I want you to try and imagine me in front of you. A talk from father to son. Imagine me talking with you.
To my surprise I was selected in Gryffindor. I was never able to understand why. I had no merits or bravery to be proud of.
Then, I saw him again, a group of girls and boys were whispering at a distance. Wondering about why a pure-blood member of one of the most prestigious dark families and Slytherins for generations, had been selected into Gryffindor. That night during dinner, I discovered more about him, just a bit but it made me some how happy if just for a while.
...
From the moment Professor McGonagall called 'Sirius Black' a shiver crawled up Remus' back. Then he followed and got sorted in the same house. The honey eyed boy sat right across the table from him.
The long haired boy looked at Remus and a smirk drew on his face, the shy child tried to look away. Not even when Lily got sorted in Gryffindor too or when she sat next to him or even when the headmaster gave his speech. He was finally able to think about something else when the plates filled with the most delicious looking dishes he never knew existed.
"So, I didn't get your name earlier"
Sirius was loading his plate with everything in range.
"R-remus, Remus Lupin…" he whispered and continued serving carefully.
"Hello Loopy boy! Sorry, Loopy-Lupin" Sirius said and a little group of guys laughed, even the boy that was talking with Lily laughed. The red haired gave them a very angry glance and grabbed Remus' hand as a sign of confidence and support. An act that Remus appreciated but a couple of eyes didn't see it well. The atmosphere became tense for a couple of seconds, to change everything to the joy of the first night in Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The rest of the evening continued with no events whatsoever, Remus found himself glancing often to the boy sitting across. Once Dumbledore dismissed them a tall boy addressed them.
"First years, follow me!"
At some point between the Great Hall and wherever they were going, Lily got lost in the crowd. Remus stopped to look around standing tiptoed. The brunette fell down, right into Black's arms.
"Be careful Loopy-Lupin. Accidents can appear in every corner"
Remus got lost for a while in those deep silver eyes.
"O-of course, thanks. I will be more careful" he smiled unconsciously. Sirius released him and clicked his tongue. After that Remus was pushed around and shoved. And there was still a full year ahead.
As the days passed the bullying increased, but full moon was getting closer and closer. Remus' mood started changing and even the three guys that took bothering him as a usual hobby realized it, especially Sirius. Even though he would never admit it, he was the most interested in all the brunette's movements. Bully stuff he said. A good bully has to be prepared always, all for his prey's sake.
The growing sarcasm, cynicism and prank air that Remus had were enough to make him stutter for a second, as consequence the interest on Remus grew too. The heir to the Black name started following him around cautiously, trying to catch his attention without being too obvious, but Remus didn't look at him even once.
Fullmoon came. Sirius woke around midnight hungry, with a bit of cunning he could steal one of the many chocolates Loopy-Lupin had in his trunk, he could not understand why he always ate chocolate, and how he doesn't suffer from acne or why he isn't fat with all that the loopy eats. And no, he is deffinitely not giving attention to what that loopy does, he is just…curious.
And when he is curious, he acts like…like hungry boy at 12!
So, he silently approached Remus' bed to discover he wasn't there. Sirius began to wonder where the hell Lupin could be. The bathroom was an option but after several minutes he wasn't back, the bed was unmade so the light-brown hair did not come to sleep. The fuck with that brat! Where could a stupid and strange boy of 11 years could be at...-he looked at his muggle watch- at...12:20?
"For Merlin's balls, do not kid with me! Where the fuck are you Remus?" cussed Sirius totally forgetting his stomach and going back to bed.
Two days after, Remus finally showed up in class with some wounds in his face and moving very slowly. The threesome of gryffindors looked at each other just a bit worried. But Remus just smiled to everybody as always. Lily was the first one to get close and ask kindly what happened to him.
"Just a dog, one big and spine-chilling"
But it wasn't enough. Not for him. The hunter was forced to act.
When it was time for dinner, Remus was intercepted in one of the corridors to the dungeons. His entire body shook in pain. He looked at the raven boy that had him trapped against a wall through the curtain of fine tears.
"Who did it?"
"What...?"
"I asked, who fuckin' did it?"
"I said it was a dog"
"Bollocks! Where the hell have you been?"
"Oh my, do not take any interest on me now, Black! I'm just a-"
"I'm not interested in you, loopy-brat! Dogs don't like that otherer animals touch their toys"
"I'm not a toy! I-AM-NOT-YOUR-TOY !" Remus yelled angrily struggling out of the deadly grip.
"Of course you are loopy-Lupin, you loopy boy without friends, weird as a wolf raised by sheep. Coward and frail, such easy target" when Remus hear 'wolf' he shivered and with all his strength finally pushed Sirius.
"I've never done anything to you, so stop calling me like that, joke about me all you want! Just do it! But never, never dare you to touch me again!"
Sirius blinked confused as the brunette stomped his way out.
"My mother's very ill. So I'll leave once a month to visit her." That was the perfect excuse to leave the castle every month during fullmoon. I am pretty sure that you know the Whomping Willow, don't you? The tree was planted before my arrival. It hides a passage way to an abandoned building in Hogsmeade which I'm sure you know too: The Shrieking Shack. There, I could transform without putting anybody in risk.
After my little meeting with Sirius things started changing. He stopped bullying me, but I continued ignoring him. Except when he and James started to bother Lily and as the good friend I was, stood with her. Oh! And poor Severus, he took the worst of all the pranks since they stopped on me.
The next month, I had had the misfortune to have Sirius Orion Black as my "body guard". And a very hot headed one that would never rest until he discovered who gave me such injuries. October of 1971 was the month when we started a -very weird- friendship. It was also the month in which I discovered what having friends was like and what 'having someone that you like more than friends' means.
...
"If we add a measure of horned slugs with one of crushed quills, we can-?"
"No, no, absolutely not!If you add the quills at the same time, then the potion becomes a laxative! So what you need to do is..."
Remus noticed that Severus avoided to touch him when he passed the flasks or even look at him even though he was talking to him. The brunette came up with the same answer he had thought of before: Severus Snape hated him. He hated the very own idea of breathing the same air.
Pretty simple if you saw the anxiety that builded up
in him until he left, or the quirky movements he did everytime Remus shifted position
"You really hate me" Remus said with a very confident tone.
"I don't hate you, just...it's just that I cannot stand the people...the kind people from your and Lily's house" the boy still avoided to look at him and continued with his nose stuck in the book.
"I can understand that, sometime either can I, and-"
"Look what we have here! Our loopy and the snively fool! Bububuuuuuuu"
The calm atmosphere that both boys had colected disappearder. Severus and Remus turned their eyes to the door. The always smiling James Potter, the little Peter Pettigrew and the bold Sirius Black. Just by looking at his wicked smile Remus got a headache. He was so not in the mood for them...him, right now.
"I keep wondering when will be the day you'll to stop calling me 'Loopy' or if you going to stop denominating me as of your property" He sighed and continued the potion where he left.
"Sorry mate, I don't think so. Loopy is Loopy, you're Loopy, so that makes you our Loopy. It's simple logic dear"
"Well, so I don't understand your logic, neither I want to try understanding it"
"C'mon, you're mad because we call you Loopy? We are friends! Nicknames are usual"
The honey eyed boy turned again to look at the gang.
"And when exactly did that happen? Because I cannot recall any of that! And James could you please stop staring at Severus"
"I'm not..argh! C'mon Sirius, just take your girlfriend and lets get outta here!"
"All the gryffindors are the same...conceited gits" Remus didn't have to look to know that the swarthy was leaving. There went his chance to get along with him.
Maybe if he shared a chocolate with him? Going with Lily was not an option, using her as an excuse was just...What did James just say?
"Pardon? Did you say girlfriend? What girlfriend?" The smirk on James' face was not good news.
"Ooooh, Loopy! You're a very clever boy, but too slow when it comes to reality"
Peter and James turned around and walked away laughing, Merlin knows about what. Remus distorde his mouth in disapproval but resigned to his luck and sighed. Just as he picked his bag from the floor to follow them he realized Sirius was still standing there. Silver eyes looking straight at him, pearl white teeth in a stupid smile, somehow that made him blush.
He stood and walked out. James and Peter were long gone leaving both behind. Remus wanted to run to the library and stay there until it darkened outside. But Merlin hates Remus, for that moment the raven pulled his sleeve and walked by his side like...like...
"You must be forbbiden..." a whisper left those pink and fleshy lips that Sirius owned. The brunette opened his eyes wide, once more and blushing.
"What are you...?"
"Christmas! I heard that there's this stupid and corny custom of hanging hexed mistletoe. It must be forbidden"
"Yeah, I guess. I read about it somewhere. You cannot move until you kiss the person that got trapped with you, right?" Sirius nodded and smile showing his teeth. "You have a nice smile, I like it"
"You do?"
"Yeah, it reminds me of a dog. I like dogs" And that, THAT was enough to drive Sirius Black mad. How does he dare to..? And why was he laughing at par with the boy that was trying to catch up with James and Peter. Sirius ran behind with a no good intention to tackle him.
"Come here Loopy! Nobody calls me dog and lives to tell!"
"Dog? Hahahahaha...You? A dog? That was a good one Loopy" James intervened between the two boys laughing when Remus used him as a shield.
"That's right, when Sirius laughs it sounds like a dog's bark!"
"Shut the fuck up, Pettigrew!"
The little group laughed louder capturing everybody's attention. And Remus felt good. God! He felt so damn good, laughing that way, looking at his mates, at Sirius, who looked back and smiled tenderly, filling his heart with emotions. But all of that was overlapped by extreme and pure happiness, happiness that because of his condition, he ignored.
That moment we stopped being Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew and became James, Sirius, Remus "Loopy"and Peter. Sirius always said that I was his second Best Friend, well obviously James was first. But I was okay with that. Second best friend was a good title for me,that meant I had no obligation to trust Sirius or anybody else. The mere idea of them discovering my condition terrified me. I did not want to lose them, especially Sirius.
Sirius had a difficult childhood, so his life in Hogwarts was marvelous for him. Although he later thought his first years to be idiotic, Sirius and James became immensely popular. He was a brilliant brat and teachers although disliked his prankster attitude, knew he was extremely smart as well. Girls adored his dark handsome looks and his rebellious attitude, even though he ignored most of them that just made them fawn over the bad boy.
I can imagine what you are thinking and the answer is yes. A part of me has always been jealous of Sirius. Not of his popularity or his good looks, I just did not want to share Sirius with the rest of the world.
I guess you are acquainted with George and Fred Weasley, aren't you? I'm sure Harry or Ron have told you about their usual mischief. Well, James and Sirius tripled all of their pranks.
I'm getting miscarried with memories. It may not seem correct for a parent to write about this, but I've never shared this with anyone else. I only hope this leaves some parent wisdom.
Let me tell you about the first "big" movement between Sirius and I. It changed a lot of things, dear. At first, it forced me to take a prudential distance between us, which lead to our first fight, and from there...the love story began. It was 1971 during Christmas….
...
Remus walked through the halls reading 'Magical Theory' eating each word written on the book, the noise was not an inconvenient for him –he was actually pretty used to it – the giggles, laughs and yells around could not bother him, but a couple of hands pushing him did.
Here we go again, he thought. Yet he continued walking steadily reading, downplaying the "attack". Until he realized there was someone in his was he took his glance away from the book.
"Hi, Sirius" he said dryly barely looking at him. The other grunted in clear sign of bad mood. Remus did not care and predisposed to continue his way and his reading, but he couldn't move. The brunette snapped his head to watch his mate in terror and then up. There hanging innocently: mistletoe.
"Fuck"
"I had no idea you could use 'bad words'"
"Shut up Black, I want to cry…"
"So do I, but crying won't get us out of here" he pointed to the magic seedling with his long index. Remus' face was priceless. Remus' glance was priceless, he wanted to get away but his feet were glued to the ground.
"Lets do this quick, I have things to do…"
"What the-" Sirius' lips posed against his before he had time to react. It couldn't be called a kiss in the whole expression of the word. But for an 11 year old kid it wasn't just a kiss but his FIRST FUCKING KISS and Sirius took it as if it was a chocolate. When he could move again, Remus did not think in nothing else that was not the idea of running away as fast as he could.
He forgot his book, he did not hear the giggles, sighs and squeals from the girls, the students of third grade calling them 'queers'. The only this in his mind was the feeling of Sirius' lips.
The rest of the day, he stayed in a small corner behind the One-eyed Witch statue. He couldn't figure if he wanted to cry, to yell, to punch, to kill. He only knew he wanted to disappear. Remus realized he had been scratching the floor for a while now and managed to lift some of the tiles. He noticed his hands and felt his fangs with his tongue. It was impossible, there were two weeks left until full moon…
"Here you are! I found him guys!"
"Thanks Merlin! Can we go to the Great Hall now? I'm starving here!" Remus looked up to see James followed by Sirius and Petter.
"Wow those are some sharp nails, Loopy" the brunette hid his hands and side smiled.
"I lost my mom's manicure scissors, I-I'm going to get ones…g-go ahead, I'll catch up later!"
"You alright Remus? You're pale and you're talking a little…queer"
Of course he is talking queer, what would they say if they saw his fangs?
"I am fine, Peter, thanks. Just..."
"I get it! Hey bro! Go ahead with Pete to the great hall. Mr. Loopy and I have something important to talk about"
"However, I wasn't going to wait anyway. Lets go Pete!"
"Y-YES! RIGHT BEHIND YOU JAMES!"
"If I knew better, I'd say…Petey is in love with Jamie!" Sirius cackled a laugh. "So, where are we going?"
"Where?"
"Manicure scissors? You said you needed'em didn't you? "
The raven haired gave him a pat on the shoulder making Remus shiver.
"Ok! Listen to me, Loopy. And listen well cause I won't repeat it...what happened before-"
"Didn't happen! I...er…look…. Just forget about it ok? So will I"
"So, you think that 'that' situation doesn't bother me too! The world does not revolve around you, Remus!" Sirius yelled irritated. Of course Remus was not in the mood of just listening as usual, and the 'wild nature' sprouting in him wasn't helping.
"Ha, I was thinking the same, Sirius! You think you can do whatever you want and when you want! Well, I got news for you my friend. You are NOT the center of the universe"
"You weirdo!" Sirius threatened to punch him.
"Am I the weird one? Sorry for it Mr. Black"
"Re-Remus, your eyes-" Sirius stuttered, eyes wide opened. Remus looked at him confused. "Your eyes look yellow. Re-REMUS?"
The boy did not reply, but turned around and ran away, away from the Black heir.
Three days passed and the tension between both gryffindors could be cut with a butter-knife. Sirius tried to approach Remus often, but the brunette hid well and excused every single time. Usually to spend all the time he could with Lily. Everybody was sick of it. Especially James, who became moody every time Lily and Remus walked by.
The day before Christmas holidays, Remus and Lily were seating next to the window, book in hands, and talking about 'who knows what'. Whatever it was, they were grinning and laughing. Sirius, James and Peter were simply lying on the couches on the other side of the Common Room. The first two watching every move of the 'merry couple' and Peter, well just sleeping. Sirius hated being in this situation. With all the poise and elegance learned at the Black household, he stood and walked through the room to where Lily and Remus were.
"Is there anything we can help you with, Black?"
"Not you Evans. Loopy, can we talk?"
"What if he doesn-"
"He is a grown man quite capable of answering by himself, Evans. There's no need for you to talk for him"
"Are you grown up enough for me to answer, Sirius?" Remus gave him a smirk which Sirius answered with one of his own.
"Why don't you find out?"
"I'll come back later Lily" the brunette stood leaving Lily's hand and walked to the dorm. "Are you coming?" Sirius nodded and waved to Lily.
"Well,ehem…would you like some company?" James asked once the door closed, the redhead rolled her eyes and sighed.
We remained in awkward silence for about 5 minutes. I just sat on my bed and Sirius stood in front of me, hands in his pockets. He apologized, thing I never expected, less coming from him. I apologized too of course. We concluded we needed to start over again.
We talked about a lot unimportant things, he gave back some chocolates he had taken from my trunk, and joked a little, but never mentioned the kiss.
That of course was not the greatest discussion we ever had, but it was our first. And well, we argued a lot in the following years. I never really knew why, but Sirius has this…twist of his that just drove me crazy, in all the meanings the word has. He was special and made me feel special at the same time. Just being next to him made my world shine with lights and colors.
The day before taking the Hogwarts Express took us to spend Christmas with our familes, James asked us if we would like to spend few days at his house before coming back. I didn't give him an answer. I just wanted to enjoy time with my mom as much as I could.
...
Remus said goodbye and wished a merry christmas to Lily and Peter.
He saw his mom standing by the platform and smiled warmly. He wanted to run and hug her, tell her how much he had missed her and tell her about her friends. So he did.
Sirius' eyes followed his every move with a smile. He was envious for a moment, but a happy thought crawled in his mind. He looked over to his parents seriously talking with other parents and slipped over to them. He wondered in his mind about Remus' dad and his mom normal looks.
"Merry Christmas ma'am, I am Sirius Black" The raven bowed displaying elegance and offered a flower to Ms. Lupin. He winked a silver eye to the brunette boy. "Don't forget to write Loopy"
He bowed again to Remus' mom and walked away.
"Loopy?"
"Long story mamma"
"Well, we have all the holidays" She hugged her son tenderly.