Ricky appears at my elbow. Well, I guess he used to be Ricky.
Space Monkeys do not have names.
So what's my name? They call me Angel Face.
Really, it's Glen Dust, but nobody's called me that since I showed up at Fight Club the first night.
"You, kid. Mister angel face," Tyler says.
"Center of the floor," Tyler says.
My first fight is with Ricky. From this stems a sense of comradeship. It's like losing your virginity.
We stand and watch the buildings go down. All according to plan.
"Tyler shot himself," Ricky says.
I turn around to face him. My face contorts in horror. "No…"
"Relax, Face." Ricky says. "He's alive."
I do relax. If Tyler died…
If Tyler died, where would we be? Where would we go?
"Hey, Ricky, where is Tyler, anyways?"
"Parker-Morris building. He shot himself in the face. Sent us away."
Steph, the Mechanic, Hero. They're all behind me.
"Damn."
It's the only thing to say.
"But we did it, man. Someone pass me a beer." Ricky, Ricky, your father was an alcoholic. Should you be drinking?
But I ask for a cigarette anyways.
Oh yeah, the cigarette burn on the back of my neck. What does that mean?
"This means you're mine," Tyler said as he ground the cherry-red, flaming tip into the tender flesh just under my hairline.
I wonder how many other Monkeys have the same mark.
I never shaved my head. I got a private room. Seven bedrooms, and one of them was mine.
The other Monkeys sleep in the basement.
Tyler, please don't die. Deliver me from abusive fathers. Deliver me from perverse college professors. Deliver me from stripping to make my way through college.
Fuck that shit.
I just want Tyler to touch me.
I look up at the piles of burning buildings. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous.
Ricky briefly squeezes my hand in the dark. I'm glad. He's like my brother.
Oh. It wasn't affection. He was handing me a cigarette.
That's kind of always how things work. You think someone loves you and they're really handing over the potential to kill you.
My lips wrap around the filter. A flash of the lighter. Delicious.
"Should we go home?" Ricky says.
"Let's go find a hotel. I still have money in my shoe." I turn away from the gorgeous light of millions of fires. Ricky follows me.
I hope Tyler's okay.