He wasn't prepared for what
happened.
Though he had known that it would happen and though he
had often imagined it in his thoughts, when it actually came to
happen, he, Lawrence Kutner, was everything but prepared.
It
was a morning like every other, the sun was shining and birds were
singing. There was not a single cloud in the sky but that meant
nothing. Kutner should soon learn that terrible things could always
happen no matter how bright the sun shines.
Little Benjamin, who
was now five years old, came running into the kitchen, jumped onto a
chair and waited for his everyday morning cacao.
Kutner followed,
whiping the sleep out of his eyes and murmuring a tired "Morning"
to Remy and his son.
"Morning sleepyhead.", she replied
lovingly and placed a cup of coffee in front of him.
"Where
is my cacao?", Benjamin complained and started playing with his
spoon.
"Just a moment.", Remy said and took the milk out
of the fridge ,"Lawrence, I guess he inherited the impatience
from you."
Kutner looked up innocently. "Me and
impatient? You must be joking.", he said and grinned at Remy,
who smiled back.
"Could you please bring me the newspaper ,
Benjamin?"
"Sure Daddy." The little boy jumped from
his chair and ran to the front door.
Meanwhile Remy was about to
carry Benjamin's cacao to the dinner table.
Kutner had nearly
fallen asleep again with his head lying on the table when a loud
noise made him look up.
Remy had dropped the cup of cacao which
had broken in thousand pieces when reaching the floor, but she didn't
even look at it. She only faced her shaking right hand.
At the
same moment Benjamin came back with the newspaper. As he saw his
mother standing there in the middle of the kitchen, her hand shaking
uncontrolled, he stopped and simply stared at her.
"Thirteen!"
Kutner jumped up, his face was almost as pale as hers. He didn't know
why he had called her Thirteen now, he used to call her Remy, but it
didn't matter anyway. Not now.
Remy's hand stopped shaking as fast
and sudden as it had begun.
Benjamin looked at his parents. He
couldn't understand the terror in their eyes. How often had he
dropped something? He could just get a new cup of cacao, couldn't he?
What was wrong?
Kutner walked towards Remy and caught her in his
arms. He had thought he was prepared for this by just knowing and
accepting that it would happen someday. It was all a big lie. He
hadn't been prepared and he had never accepted it.
"I got you
the newspaper, daddy.", Benjamin said, frightened by the sudden
silence in the room and the shocked faces of his parents.
"Not
now…", Kutner replied.
He had known it when he had first
asked her out on a date. He had known it when he had married her. He
had known it when they had decided to have a baby and he had known it
when Benjamin had been born.
He had always known that this woman
was dying…
Did he regret anything?
To be honest, Kutner
didn't regret one single kiss. And even if their happiness broke with
the small cup of cacao, he wouldn't regret a thing…