A/N-Okay, so I've been thinking about writing a songfic for a long time for this song, because I absolutely love it. I know already that this story doesn't do it justice, because the song is so amazing. Seriously, if you've never heard it, you should go listen to it. It's all about obsession, and it's very seductive and creepy. It just pulls you in. Also, if you're a big Fiona Apple fan, there's a version of this song that has Elvis Costello on guitar and her singing the song. It's wonderful. It gives me shivers. Seriously. Anyways, I had it in mind for another oneshot challenge that I've taken (I know, one thing at a time, what are you thinking, blah blah) because I thought that one of the prompts was obsession, but there was no such prompt, I was making things up, yet again. So, this shall stand alone.
Disclaimer-I don't own Life with Derek or Elvis Costello's "I Want You" nor was any copyright infringement intended.
He loved her. He knew that much was true. He had, like an idiot, told her so. She laughed at him. He probably deserved it, but it still hurt. It told her that he wanted her so much, so much that it scared him. She hadn't laughed at that. At that, she had gotten a look in her eyes that he had never seen before. If he hadn't known any better, he would've sworn it was lust.
"What?" he asked, a little unnerved by her staring.
She didn't reply, just leaned in and kissed him.
Oh my baby baby I love you more than I can tell
I don't think I can live without you
And I know that I never will
Oh my baby baby I want you so it scares me to death
I can't say anymore than "I love you"
Everything else is a waste of breath
"Where are you going?"
"Back to my room. Don't you think mom and George would kill us if they caught us?"
"Yeah, probably." He watched her as she dressed. She started to walk out of the room, but Derek stopped her when her hand was on the doorknob. "Casey, I love you. I can't say anything else, because it's meaningless. I just wanted you to know."
She didn't say anything, didn't even turn around. But he saw her nod, just a little, and only once, before she walked out.
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"Where were you?" Derek asked, sitting in his chair as Casey came in the front door. "It's past curfew."
"And how often are you out past curfew?"
Derek just looked at her.
She sighed. "I was out with Sam."
"Again? Please tell me you two aren't stupid enough to get back together, again."
"Fine, I won't tell you. I wasn't planning on it anyway; it's none of your business. Where are mom and George?"
"They went to bed. They said that they trusted you to come home on time. Don't change the subject though. Is that really fair? To him or to me?"
"Again, not your business."
"Uh, it is completely my business. He's my best friend, and you're fooling around with me. If you look up 'my business' in the dictionary, you'll see this situation."
Casey just rolled her eyes at him.
"Come on Casey, you've had your fun, making me crazy, but stop fooling around. You can't be with both of us."
"Who says? Are you going to tell him? Because, you know, he'd partially blame you as well. Do you really want to lose your best friend over me?" She looked at him, and when he didn't answer, she walked up the stairs, trailing her fingers on the wall behind her.
Derek sighed and rubbed his eyes; then got up and followed her.
I want you
You've had your fun you don't get well no more
I want you
Your fingernails go dragging down the wall
Be careful darling you might fall
Derek woke up to find that Casey hadn't left his bed yet. Usually he fell asleep with her beside him, and then woke up to find her gone. He realized that she was crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, scooting over as far away from her as possible.
She wiped her face quickly. "Nothing. I thought you were asleep."
"I was. I woke back up."
She nodded. She climbed out of bed and began to get dressed.
"What's wrong?" he asked again.
She sighed. "I'm just sorry for doing this to you. It's probably killing you. It's very selfish of me, but I can't seem to bring myself to care. I know that probably makes me a bad person, but…" she trailed off, like she was unsure of how to word what she was thinking. She shrugged and then walked out the door.
Derek shook his head. What the hell was that? She's so hot and cold lately.
Suddenly she came back into the room. "You know what, I don't feel that bad though, because you lied to me too."
"When?" he demanded.
"When you said you loved me."
"That wasn't a lie!" he yelled.
"Hey! Keep your voice down!" she whispered angrily at him.
He rolled his eyes. "What makes you think it was a lie?"
"What proof do I have that it's the truth?" she shot back at him.
"What, you want a second opinion? Just look in my eyes. Does it look like I'm lying?"
"I'm not…" she faltered. She shook her head and walked back out.
Derek turned around and angrily punched a pillow.
I want you
I woke up and one of us was crying
I want you
You said "Young man I do believe you're dying"
I want you
If you need a second opinion as you seem to do these days
I want you
You can look in my eyes and you can count the ways
"Bye guys!" Casey called as she carried her duffel bag out the front door.
"Where are you going?" Derek asked.
"Sam invited me to go with his family this weekend. They have a cabin in the woods near the mountain. Didn't I tell you? I meant to."
"Nope, it must've slipped your mind. Anything else slip your mind lately?"
She glared at him. "No, nothing else. I'll see you Sunday night." She slammed the door behind her. Derek huffed.
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"Here," she said, throwing something at his head.
"What's this?" he asked.
"I told you I didn't forget. Six months, right? Well, there. Happy anniversary, if that's what it is."
"Oh," Derek replied, feeling guilty. He had honestly thought she had forgotten. "Here, I got you something too." He pulled a CD out of his top desk drawer.
"You made me a mix?" she asked, sounding genuinely pleased. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He opened his to find a framed picture of him and Marti playing in the backyard. He smiled. "When did you take this?"
"I don't remember, a couple of weeks ago. You like it though, right?"
"I love it."
She flushed with pleasure, looking at the floor. "Yeah, well, I thought you would."
He laughed at her. "Nothing smarter to say than that?"
"Shut up," she said as she walked over and kissed him.
I want you
Did you mean to tell me but seem to forget
I want you
Since when were you so generous and inarticulate
For once, she fell asleep before he did. He leaned up on one elbow, watching her sleep. He knew it was kind of creepy, but he loved looking at her, memorizing the little things about her face and body and remembering the little things about her personality. It comforted him to know these things. Sometimes, when she was mad at him or out with Sam, he would run over all these things in his head, remembering the mole on the underside of her left breast, or the little crescent-shaped scar on her right shoulder, or her obsessive need to organize her world.
Eventually, he fell asleep. When he woke back up, he heard her talking on the phone. "No, I can't come over right now…Because I'm studying!...Fine, we'll talk later…Bye." She closed the phone; then Derek saw her shoulders shaking.
"Why are you crying now?" he asked.
"He knows. I don't know how, but he's got it figured out. He was bugging me to come over. He didn't buy my studying excuse."
Derek sighed. "I guess he's just really good at guessing."
She turned and glared at him. "What did you tell him?"
"Nothing! You know I wouldn't do that to him!"
"Wouldn't you? It's not like you want us together. I wouldn't put something like that past you."
Derek narrowed his eyes at her. "You're right, I don't want you together. It makes me nauseous to think of the two of you together. To think of him taking your clothes off instead of me, to think of him kissing you, it's disgusting. But Sam is my best friend, and I don't want to hurt him like that. I leave that to you, whenever you finally grow a conscience."
She glared at him. "I'm leaving now. Maybe I will go over to Sam's after all."
"Fine, go. And on your way over, grow a backbone and tell him the truth."
She slammed his door.
I want you
It's the stupid details that my heart is breaking for
It's the way your shoulders shake and what they're shaking for
I want you
It's knowing that he knows you now after only guessing
It's the thought of him undressing you or you undressing
Apparently she had gone over to Sam's the night before, because he had to put up with them the next day. "You're eyes are really beautiful," he told her when he walked her to her Biology class, one of the few classes they didn't have together. Derek walked by just in time to hear Sam whisper in her ear, "I want you," and to see her giggle and blush. He just rolled his eyes.
When they got home that afternoon, he asked, "Seriously, you girls like that crap?"
"What crap?" she asked.
"'You're eyes are really beautiful.' How lame can you be?"
"It was nice," she said defensively.
"It's overused and lame. And cheesy. And completely unoriginal."
"Whatever," she said and walked up the stairs.
"And how come you like it when he says he wants you, but when I say it you roll your eyes?" he asked, following her.
She turned around. "Because I believe it when he says it." She went into her room and shut the door, signaling that the conversation was over.
"Fool," he muttered, going into his own room.
I want you
He tossed some tatty compliment your way
I want you
And you were fool enough to love it when he said
"I want you"
"I don't know how much more of this I can take, Case," he said when she walked into his room that night.
"How much more of what?" she asked.
"You stringing me along like this."
"Maybe if you'd stop telling me lies I'd stop stringing you along. Admit it, you're using me just as much as I'm using you."
He sighed in frustration. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this before it sinks in, but I'm not using you. I know that the truth, that I love you, scares you, but it's still the truth. You might refuse to see it right now, but one day, you'll wake up and it'll be staring you right in the face."
I want you
The truth can't hurt you it's just like the dark
It scares you witless
But in time you see things clear and stark
"Just freaking drop it already! I'm sick of hearing it!" she said, frustrated.
"I can't 'freaking drop it' as you so eloquently put it. I love you, it's not like I can just forget that."
"What will it take?"
"What will what take?"
"What will it take for you to shut up, or to stop 'loving me'?"
"I don't know Case. It would probably take you hurting me a lot. A whole hell of a lot, because I've already put up with plenty of shit from you, and I don't know where my limit is. I probably should've stopped this forever ago."
I want you
Go on and hurt me then we'll let it drop
I want you
I'm afraid I won't know where to stop
"Fine, you want me to hurt you?"
"No, I don't want you to hurt me. That's a ridiculous question. I want you to stop hurting me and just be with me outright. I've cried over you on some nights, because I want you so bad and you don't seem to get it." He got up and grabbed her by the arms, holding her in place where she stood by the door. "I've cried because I know that you leave my room some nights and go straight to Sam's. Do you do the same things with him? Does he touch you in the same places? Is he better than me? When you're under him, do you call out his name? Do you ever have to stop yourself before you call mine? Hell, you probably don't even need me around, do you? I'm useless to you, since you've got Sam now. Do you want me to leave? Are you happy with that clown?"
They both were crying now. Casey wrenched herself out of his hands and ran back to her room, shutting her door and turning her music up loud.
I want you
I'm not ashamed to say I cried for you
I want you
I want to know the things you did that we do too
I want you
I want to hear he pleases you more than I do
I want you
I might as well be useless for all it means to you
I want you
Did you call his name out as he held you down
I want you
Oh no my darling not with that clown
I want you
Derek walked over and lay down on his bed. "Still having fun?" he asked her, knowing she couldn't hear him. "You know, he couldn't possibly want you nearly as much as I do. No one could. I want you, Casey McDonald. I want you, and I love you."
I want you
You've had your fun you don't get well no more
I want you
No one who wants you could want you more
I want you
I want you
"You know, you're always the last person I think about before I fall asleep at night. You're the first person I think of in the morning too. I want you so bad it hurts. It's killing me. I'll keep saying it until you believe me. I'm going to feel this way for the rest of my life, or until you finally manage to kill what little bit of feelings I still have. I want you," Derek continued talking to himself.
I want you
Every night when I go off to bed and when I wake up
I want you
I'm going to say it once again 'til I instill it
I know I'm going to feel this way until you kill it
I want you
I want you
I want you
Casey pressed her ear against the door and listened to Derek talk. "I believe you," she said quietly. "I just don't want to anymore. You're right, the truth is scary."
A/N-A little OOC, correct? But I don't think it's too bad. I mean, I don't think that Casey will believe Derek right away when he professes his undying love for her, and I think it would tear him apart for a while. And, I think he might get a little obsessive. Not like creepy stalker obsessive, but yeah. Anyways, enough about what I think, tell me what you think!