Posting some old fics over here on FF! this website is so confusing. anyway, enjoy!

Furniture Shopping

The front door slammed open with such a sharp clang that Valkyrie winced as Skulduggery dragged her inside. His right hand gripped the waistband of her jeans while his left clutched the hand she had slung around his shoulder, supporting her slumped form as best as he could. They were at his house on Cemetery Road and blood was dripping from a gash in her forehead, as well as from what was very possibly a broken nose. Valkyrie groaned—her leg was stiffening up and she knew that by tomorrow her stomach would be black and blue.

Skulduggery's body language was grim as he maneuvered her over to the sofa bed and gently laid her down. Knowing what he was about to say, and despite the pain she was currently experiencing, Valkyrie decided to lighten the mood.

"Guess that's what I get for wearing poorly tailored clothes, huh?" she tried, and attempted to laugh at her own joke, but the laugh turned into a painful moan, and the painful moan turned into a coughing fit.

Skulduggery grimaced. "To be fair, you did not necessarily expect anyone to attack you in public. In broad daylight, no less." He sighed. "It's hardly your fault."

"I was trying to make a joke."

"There's nothing to joke about."

Now it was Valkyrie's turn to sigh. She winced, then shut her eyes to help block out the pain.

"Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, and she could hear the frown in his voice. "If I could just take you to the Sanctuary, you could be treated in minutes—"

"There's no need for that, okay? I'm fine, Skulduggery. Look, my nose isn't even broken." She poked it, to prove her point, then flinched. "See," she wheezed. "Fine."

"Valkyrie—"

"Skulduggery, its fine. I just… I don't need Nye to heal me, okay?" The frustration in her voice was clear, and she opened her eyes to see Skulduggery turning his head away. Nye was still a sore subject, for many reasons. "I can heal myself. I just need maybe, like, a band-aid. Maybe a few band-aids. But small band-aids, you know? Because this isn't a big deal. But maybe one of those leaf things, too, for the pain. Also: a nap."

"Valkyrie…"

"Skulduggery…" Valkyrie replied, mocking his tone. Her eyes were closed again, but she could feel his nervousness. He didn't usually get this way about her injuries, but usually she was wearing Ghastly's black clothes and was never hurt nearly as badly. She let out a deep breath. "Seriously. I'm okay. I just need to sleep it off. On this sofa. Right here. Get it? Because I'm not moving. And there's nowhere else to sleep."

"You're not making much sense."

"There's a big gash in my head, I think, so it's okay."

A pause.

Valkyrie heard his familiar footsteps coming toward her and thought he was a second away from picking her up and literally flying her to the Sanctuary, but then there was a cloth was being pressed to her nose, and Skulduggery's voice was warm as he spoke. "You're getting blood on my sofa," he said, and knelt down beside her.

Valkyrie smiled. She was glad he was back to his usual self. "Well, maybe if I had my own room here, I could bleed on my own pillow," she quipped. She took hold of the cloth, and tilted her head back to help stop the bleeding. "Save us both a lot of trouble. You, with the bloody sofa. Me, with the aching back after sleeping on this thing instead of a real mattress."

"Maybe you should have a room here," Skulduggery said quietly, his fingers hovering over the gash on her forehead. Valkyrie would've assumed he was joking, but his voice was serious. She was attempting to come up with a witty reply but then he accidently brushed the cut, so she hit him instead.

"Maybe I should have a room here."

It was a week later, and they were knee-deep in research for their newest case. Skulduggery was sitting cross-legged with a book in his lap while Valkyrie was on the sofa just behind him, yet again. She was lying on her stomach, lazily kicking her legs up and down, while resting her head on the book she was supposed to be reading. Instead, she chose to sort of peek over Skulduggery's shoulder and kind of pretend to read the one he was flipping through.

"Hmm?" Skulduggery murmured absently, turning the page. "What did you say?"

She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the sofa. "Me. Have a room here. With a bed. For sleeping. And maybe somewhere to put extra clothes."

Skulduggery put the book down and shifted so he could look at her. "You'd put extra clothes on your bed?"

She rolled her eyes, hiding a smile. "You know what I mean. If there was a bedroom here for me, that would be, like, really helpful."

"It would," Skulduggery agreed, standing up. "I'll look into it." Then, he picked up the heaviest book off the floor and dropped it into her lap. "But help with the research first."

It was only noon, but Valkyrie was exhausted. She hadn't slept in over 24 hours and, unable to go home, she nearly sleepwalked her way from the Bentley to the front door of Skulduggery's home. Skulduggery, meanwhile, bounded on ahead and opened the door for her. Since her eyes were closed, she hardly noticed this and tripped as she walked past him.

She opened her eyes to see her nose was hovering just above the floor and it took her a moment to realize that Skulduggery had leaned down and caught her just in time. She inhaled deeply, which then turned into a yawn, as Skulduggery pulled her up and put his hands on her shoulders, her back facing him. She closed her eyes again, happy to let him guide her to the sofa.

After a few moments, she noticed they were walking in the wrong direction and frowned.

"Skulduggery," she said.

"Valkyrie?"

"I'm getting the sense we aren't moving towards the sofa."

"Your senses would be correct."

"Of course they are."

"Hmm."

"Well, where are we going then?"

They came to a stop and Skulduggery let his hands fall from Valkyrie's shoulders. "See for yourself."

She opened her eyes. They were standing in front of a door, a door that had not been in this house previously. She blinked, not quite processing anything.

"What's that," she said.

"You're hopeless when you're tired," Skulduggery mumbled, then sighed, moving in front of her to open the door.

She walked inside. It was an empty room. She was standing in a brand new empty room. In Skulduggery's house. Why was she standing in a brand new empty room in Skulduggery's h—oh.

"Oh!" Her face lit up. "Oh my god. Is this my room?"

Skulduggery's head tilted up a fraction, which was usually a sign he was proud of something. "Brand new," he said. "It's all yours."

Valkyrie laughed, and did a silly little twirl about the room. Then, she seemed to realize something and stopped. "Wait, uh, this is lovely and everything, but where is the furniture? I can't have a room without furniture. And why did you make a brand new room, anyway? You have like three living rooms in this house. Why didn't you just close off one of those?"

Skulduggery slumped. "I didn't have a chance to hire someone to buy anything yet. And this was more fun than using a living room. I like my living rooms. I thought you would be excited."

"No, no, I am totally excited," she said reassuringly. "I just, like I need a bed, you know."

"Well, I can call someone to—"

"No, that's no fun. Why don't we go shopping right now? Oh my god, let's go furniture shopping right now."

"No."

"What? Why not? We just finished the case, didn't we?"

"I thought you were exhausted."

"What? No. No. I am totally awake right now, like. Look." She opened her eyes as wide as possible. "Look how awake I am. Skulduggery. Skulduggery, look."

Skulduggery chuckled softly as he steered her back out to the sofa bed. "Nap first. Shopping later."

"Okay, what do you think?" Valkyrie presented her bedding choices to Skulduggery, one package of sheets in each hand. "This black one, or like, this darker black one."

Skulduggery sighed. They were in a furniture shop a few streets away from his house, and they'd been here for almost two hours. After much consideration, Valkyrie had picked out a matching wardrobe, nightstand, and bed frame set, as well as a lamp, a mattress, and two pillows. All that was left to do was choose the sheets for her bed, which was proving to be a difficult choice to make.

Valkyrie frowned. "What are you sighing for? This whole thing was your idea."

"No, it wasn't."

"Um, yeah, it was. I was lying half dead on your sofa and you were like 'Hey, maybe you should have a room here' and you made it happen and now here we are."

"You're right, I should clarify. The furniture shopping was not my idea."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "Well, it's too late now. So, which one? Don't they both look really comfy?" She held the choices right up to his façade, which was especially hot today, she had to admit.

He sighed again, but then he spotted something over her shoulder and his mouth screwed up into a weird smirk/grin. Valkyrie always thought it was strange to see him smile.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't choose that one." He pointed behind her.

Valkyrie turned. He was pointing at a sheet set, one that was emblazoned with a bright pink cartoon horse. She huffed, then turned back around and scowled at him.

"I'm not a kid, Skulduggery."

"I know. I never said you were."

"Good. Now, shut up, I'm trying to focus." She stared down at her choices again.

Skulduggery pulled a blue set off the shelf beside her. "Take this one. Blue is a calming color. You could use a calming color."

She stared him down. "Are you saying I need to be calmer?"

For a moment, he didn't answer. Then, he slumped in defeat. "I'm saying I want to leave this store."

Valkyrie laughed, plucked the blue set out of his hands. "Fiiiine, we're done anyway. Lucky for you, I happen to like this color, too."

Three hours later, Skulduggery's wallet was considerably lighter, the furniture was built, and the bed was made. Valkyrie's room was finished and her bed was ready for sleeping in (and possibly bleeding on, if their next case turned out to be as bad as the previous one).

"All done," she said, and sighed happily as she looked around, then flopped onto her bed.

Skulduggery, who had forgotten to turn off his façade once they left the shop, frowned. "It only took five hours or so."

"Oh, shut up." Valkyrie sat up. "This was fun and you know it. Besides, sometimes it's nice to have a break every once in a while."

"I suppose," Skulduggery mumbled. "As long as you're happy."

"I am."Valkyrie got up and stood up on her toes to kiss Skulduggery's cheek. "Thank you," she said, beaming.

Skulduggery tapped the façade tattoo on his collarbone and it slid off his face before she could see his reaction. He cleared his throat before saying, "Not a problem, my dear."