So I've been writing this for a good few weeks, since the finale and omg Allison's death hit me so hard. I didn't see it coming and I felt so bad for Lydia, I just had to write something about it and ofcourse Stiles being there for her. It usually doesn't take me this long to write a story out, but this is one of the hardest stories I've ever written. I lost a friend a few years ago, she was murdered and I thought a lot of her and her funeral when I wrote this, especially the funeral and grave scenes. I actually cried some at writing this, I put a lot of emotion in this; least I think I did. I really hope you guys like it! I apologize for any spelling errors I missed to correct! Hope you guys enjoy :)
ooooo
Lydia wakes up to the sound of her phone going off. For a split second she thinks it must be Allison texting her asking if she wants to go get a coffee at the nearest Starbucks, because it's what they usually did on Saturday's; she knew it was a Saturday. She uncurls herself from her blankets and opens her eyes to see the sight of a bunch of used tissues on her bed. She looks up to see the black dress hung up outside her closet; she remembers taking it out and leaving it there before going to bed last night. She remembers why it's out in the first place. Her best friend died. Her funeral is today.
Before she could think any further, her eyes fill up with tears and she furiously wipes at them before they can run down her face. She feels the dried tears on her face from last night; remembers crying into her pillow last night and using whatever tissues she had. She slowly sits up in bed, rubbing at her eyes some more before stopping and looking down at the phone she left beside her last night. She grabs it and goes to her messages, seeing its from Stiles.
'I'll be over in 30 minutes to get you; that okay?'
She reads the text and remembers when Allison's father had told her and her friends that the funeral would be at two Saturday afternoon. She looks at the time in the top right corner of the screen on her phone and sees its five minutes til one o' clock. Just enough time to get up and shower and look somewhat presentable. It'd been days since she'd been out of bed. Stiles had stopped by every day to see her and make sure she was okay, well; alive anyway. She wasn't okay, none of them were. She remembers him coming by yesterday and they watched TV for a few hours, Lydia still under the covers just like she'd been the day before. Stiles had sat right beside her in bed, he didn't seem to mind seeing her with her hair a mess and no make up and her eyes red and swollen from the constant crying all week. She felt lucky to have someone like him to keep her company in such a dreadful time. The first day she stayed in bed, Stiles and Scott had come by and she noticed Scott was just as much of a mess as she was. They all had bags under their eyes, only a few hours of sleep did that.
Reading over the text message once more, she quickly typed a reply saying that was fine and she'd be ready outside at 1:30. After it was sent, she laid the phone on her nightstand before getting outta bed. She gathered up all the tissues and threw them in the trash before entering her bathroom and starting the shower. Undressing, she looked in the mirror and saw how miserable she really looked. Her strawberry blonde hair was everywhere, bags under her eyes. She'd definitly be putting on make up today. Getting in the shower, she stood under the hot water for a good five minutes. She couldn't even tell if she was crying anymore or not, she felt the same ache in her chest that she'd felt all week. She felt like it'd never go away.
After washing her hair and such, she got out and quickly dried off before blow drying her hair and straightening it. She walked out of the bathroom and back into her bedroom; her eyes instantly looking at the black dress. It was midlength; stopping at her knees. It was the plainest thing she'd worn in a long time. It was probably the saddest dress she'd ever wear; but then again this was a sad occasion. Slowly reaching out and picking it up, she quickly put it on. She picks out a white crystal stone necklace to wear with it; ironically it was something Allison had given her as a gift last Christmas. She felt it was right to wear for her funeral. After putting it on, she slowly sat down in the chair in front of her vanity mirror; and admired the necklace with a sad smile on her face. She could still see Allison's smiling face after she had given it to her. Lydia looked down at the make up laid out on her desk and automatically started applying what was needed. Foundation, eyeliner, mascara; instead of the red lipstick she usually wore she decided to put on a layer of clear lipgloss that tasted of strawberries. After she was done, she looked in the mirror and noticed she almost looked somewhat okay.
She heard her phone go off again and got up, quickly grabbing a little black purse to go with her dress; she made sure to put some tissues in it before picking up her phone and reading the text. Stiles was on his way; it was 1:25. She put the phone in her purse, slipping on a pair of black flats to go with her dress and before she could look in the mirror again; she walks out of her bedroom and turns off the light before walking down the long stair case and going to her front door; she glances in the living room first though to see her little dog Prada asleep on the sofa. She gives a small smile and for some reason thought about her parents; she wished they were here to help her through this but they were yet again away on some trip to Paris they decided to take; they'd been gone for a few weeks now and didn't expect them home til sometime next week.
She silently walked to the front door and opened up the door; closing it behind her she got out her house key and locked the door. Turning around, she saw Stiles's jeep pull into her driveway; she watched it stop a few feet in front of her. She walks to the vehicle, opening the door and climbing in. Before she could fully look at her friend, she closed the door and set her purse down on her lap. When she looks at Stiles, she instantly notices the bags under his eyes and that he was wearing a pair of black formal pants along with a black formal shirt that fit him nicely. It'd almost look like he was attending a school dance if he wasn't missing a tie along with a vest. Plus, he looked miserable; just like her. He looked at her just as she glanced over at him and their eyes met; he took in her appearance before giving a small smile and looking back in front of him while he pulled out of her driveway and out on to the road. He spoke before she could think of anything to say.
"The cemetary is only like ten minutes away so we'll get there a bit early but that's okay. I already talked to Scott and him, Issac, Derek and Kira just got their with Scott's mom and my dad." he spoke in a soft tone, before quickly rubbing at his eyes. Lydia gave a silent nod before looking out the window and watching the scenery pass by. Before they knew it, they were at the cemetary. Stiles pulled into a parking space before turning off the Jeep. From here, Lydia could see people outside the building; she noticed Scott, Derek, Issac and Kira waiting outside the doors. Lydia didn't realize she was holding her breath until she felt a hand on her wrist. She looked up into the eyes of Stiles. He didn't have to say anything, she knew what he was silently telling her. He's here for her and they'll make it through this. She wanted to believe they would, but in this moment; everything just felt impossible.
She felt the beginning of tears about to escape but she closed her eyes and sighed before opening them again and nodding; and with that they both got out. They walked up to the entrance together and stood amongst their friends. Kira was holding Scott's hand; Issac was looking anywhere but at the people around him. Derek had his arms crossed and was looking at the ground. They all looked exhausted and sad; but Lydia didn't expect anything else. They silently walked in together and met up with Ms. McCall, Sheriff Stilinski and Chris Argent who were already seated at the front. Lydia sat between Stiles and Issac; Scott next to Kira and on Stiles's other side and Kira next to Derek. There weren't as many people as she thought there'd be but then again Allison didn't have that many friends let alone family left. Her pack was her family. She noticed a few kids from school, including Danny and even Coach Finstock in the back along with Deaton. There were also a few unfamiliar faces that she figured were distant cousins from other states.
They all listened to the Pastor go on and soon enough Chris Argent was up in front of the podium speaking. His words were sincere and heartbreaking; Lydia couldn't help but shed a tear or two listening to Allison's dad talk about his daughter and how strong she was. She heard Argent ask the crowd if anyone would like to say a few words; she didn't realize she had stood up until she felt Stiles's fingers touch her wrist gently; she looked at him and she knew he wanted to ask if she could do this; she nodded her answer and took the few feet she needed to to be in front of the podium. She bravely lifted her head up and looked at the crowd in front of her; she looks at the framed picture of Allison only a few feet away from her. The words come out of her without a second thought.
"Allison was my best friend. I didn't know her since we were little kids; but It felt like I knew her longer then that. She was the first person to accept me for who I truly was; she knew the real me before anyone else did. Unlike most people in the past, she wasn't intimidated by me or scared to talk to me. She was bold with me.. we became best friends instantly. She was the first person I ever fully opened up to, and she accepted me. She was always telling me how intilligent I am and how she's always here for me and.. I should have been telling her those things more. Allison was the bravest women I'd ever known, and she still is. She put her family and friends before herself; every single time. Even at times when she was terrified and tired; she never let it show. She was so strong..." Lydia trailled off, her vision becoming blurry from the tears overcoming her. She looked down at Scott and Stiles and saw them both smiling at her through their own tears; Stiles nodded at her and she cleared her throat before continuing.
"Me and Allison have so many memories together, but it doesn't feel like there's enough. I always thought about how we'd graduate High School together and someday in the future we'd be eachother's Maid Of Honor's and our kids would be as close as we were. She was to young to go.. I don't know how I'm gonna keep living without her but I know I have to. It's what she'd want for me, for all of us.. Allison was my family, she was like my sister. She will always be family. and we became friends with the greatest people I know I'll ever meet and I have her to thank for that. She taught me to be true to myself and to stay strong and to fight for what you believe in. If it wasn't for Allison I'd still be putting up this horrible facade for people and I'd be alone. Allison taught me so much, and she did die a hero. Allison will always be my best friend, I love her so much.. I'm so happy that we met and that I know all of you. She loved you all so much. I'll happily live on for her. I know you all will do the same."
Lydia closed her eyes after she spoke the last words; she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks and when she opened her eyes she then slowly walked back to her seat next to Stiles and sat down. She knew he was looking at her, knew Scott and Issac were too. She didn't mind. It felt right saying what she needed to; it made the ache in her chest just a little more bearable. A few minutes later everyone was standing up heading out to watch the coffin be lowered. Lydia stayed in her seat, staring at the picture of Allison; eventually everyone had left other then for her.
and Stiles.
"She'd be proud of you, you know. She's probably looking down at you right now applauding you for how much of an intilligent badass you are." Lydia laughed at his words; a teary laugh but a laugh none the less. She wiped at her eyes before turning her head to look at Stiles. She saw the tears in his eyes and the small smile on his face, only meant for her. She wished Allison was still here so she could tell her how much this boy meant to her now, after everything they'd been through. She felt a warm hand atop of hers and she entertwined their fingers together before she smiled back the best she could. They got up together and walked out, hand in hand. Lydia couldn't say she minded, it was nice to have someone to lean on for support it. It felt right with Stiles, to be like this.
Once they reached the crowd outside; her and Stiles stood beside Scott and the rest of their pack. Lydia tried her hardest to look at everything but the coffin, the coffin with her best friend in it; being put into the ground. But before the coffin could escape everyone's view, Lydia caught site of it and watched as it entered the ground. She didn't realize how hard she was gripping Stiles's hand until he whispered words into her ear 'I'm sorry' she heard several times. She wondered why he would say that when nothing was his fault. Lydia knew that life happened and death was a part of life. It just wasn't meant to happen to Allison, not Allison. She felt a hand hold her empty hand; and realized it was Scott giving her comfort. All Lydia saw was her best friend being lowered into the ground; and then she felt arms around her and her face was cradled into someone's neck and she realized it was Stiles. She was so close to pushing away, but once she saw how wet his shirt was getting she understood why he was embracing her. She didn't remember beginning to cry again. All she felt was the pain.
Over Stiles's shoulder, she watched them cover the coffin; she gripped Stiles's shirt in the front and buried her face into his shoulder. They stood like that for a long time, when Lydia looked up again there was fresh dirt over the spot her best friend was now buried. She gently pulled away from Stiles's warmth and looked around to notice everyone had gone back to the front of the building; before leaving. All that were left around her were Stiles and Scott. She felt Scott lay a hand on her shoulder and she took Stiles's hand in hers. They all turned to look at the spot.
"My mom says everyone can spend the night; you guys and Kira. If you guys want." Lydia looked at him through teary eyes and nodded her head with a small smile on her face.
"We'll be there buddy." Stiles sad before walking the few steps he needed to to give his best friend a hug and patting him on the back. Once he pulled away, Lydia continued staring at Scott; suddenly remembering one of the last conversations her and Allison had. It had been when Stiles was in Eichen House and after her, Allison, Scott and the twins were working together to to figure out how to break into the armored car so they could get evidence from Katashi's body.
Her and Allison had gotten some time alone to talk and she had watched her best friend fall apart from everything going on. She remembers her saying she was worried about Issac and she was starting to feel things she'd never felt for anyone other then for Scott. She remembers the look in the young hunters eyes as she had told Lydia how it scared her because deep down she knew she'll always love Scott and she was scared to move on. Her friend had then looked up at her and asked her if she'd ever felt anything for anyone after Jackson. Lydia remembered holding her breath, thinking about her best friends question. She knew deep down she had started feeling things for someone else; but she wasn't sure how to break it to her best friend or even explain it. She had went over to and sat down next to her, closing her eyes and sighing before she spoke.
"Yes.. I don't really know how to explain it or what it is or what it means, but it's something.. and it scares me, because you know how I gave my everything to Jackson and he just left and let me go and I loved him so much.." Lydia trailed off, catching Allison's eyes and by the look Allison was giving her she knew she didn't mean it had to do with Aiden.
"I'll always love Scott." Allison whispered to her. Lydia took her best friends hand in her.
"And that's okay." Lydia said before leaning her head on Allison's shoulder. They had stayed like that for a few more minutes before it was time for them to go.
Lydia was snapped out of her memories as she felt Stiles's hand upon her lower back; she noticed she was still staring at Scott who was staring back at her with more emotion in his eyes then hers. She swallowed before speaking to him.
"One of the last conversations me and her had.. she loved you so much, she really did." Lydia said softly almost in a whisper, but they both heard her. She felt the tears run down her cheeks; and she put her arms around Scott before he could say anything. She felt him stiffen but then he gave a shutter and he laid his chin on her shoulder and hugged her back.
"I know she did.. she told me before she died.. she said she'll always love me. She wasn't meant to die." he whispered through his tears. Lydia nodded her head and held back from sobbing. She wanted to be strong for her friends, she needed to be. Lydia gently pulled away, wiping at her eyes.
"She died a hero, and she died in the arms of the person she loved more then anyone else." Lydia said tearfully, looking down at the ground and knowing her best friend passed in the best way possible. In a way she would have wanted to; protecting others. She hoped Allison was okay, wherever she was now.
"She loved you too, you know." Scott said softly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently. Lydia felt him looking at her intently and then she felt Stiless move to stand beside her and she felt his hand touch her arm, almost as if he was scared to touch her; didn't wanna startle her. She knew he didn't realize how much his touches kept her grounded. She thinks of Scott's words and she knows Allison loved her just as much as she loved her; they really were like sisters. She doesn't realize she's nodding and looking at the ground where her friend is now buried; she speaks in a teary tone.
"I know. She loved us all. She'll always be a part of the pack, right?" Lydia didn't realize she had asked that until she heard herself say it. It made her breathe hitch and her mind whirl. She had never thought she'd be in such a pack; with Werewolves and hunters. She never even thought she'd be anything else but human; but here she was. A banshee in a pack. She felt Scott's eyes on her and she tried not to show so much emotion when she looked back but she knew there was no use in trying to hide what she was feeling.
"She'll always be a part of the pack." Scott said reassuringly. Lydia silently nodded, she heard sniffles on her right and turned her head to see Stiles's rubbing his eyes. She knew he still somewhat blamed himself for this. She knows he'll never be completely the same after being possessed by such a terrible thing that had killed people and caused so much pain. She was so grateful to still have him here beside her; him and Scott both. She leans closer to Stiles and entertwines there fingers together; she rubs her thumb over his hand and he gives her a thankful look.
"This isn't your fault. You know that." she whispers to him softly, and he silently nods his head before wiping at his eyes again. She's so lost at looking at Stiles and wanting to help him more, she doesn't realize someone else is with them until they're right beside Scott. It's Kira. She gives the werewolf a hug before looking over at Lydia and Stiles. Lydia gives a small smile and walks the few steps she needs to before giving Kira a hug. The girl hugs back, and soon enough Stiles is giving her a hug too and they're all back to looking at the ground. A few minutes later Issac is there, and Lydia swears her heart breaks a little more when she hears Issac cry out and collapse into tears. But Kira and Scott and the rest of them are right beside him to help him with his grief.
He's almost hugging himself and before Lydia thinks twice, she walks up to Issac and puts her arms around him and she feels him give a huge sigh before breaking out into another round of tears. She hears him gasping and saying he's sorry, and she shushes him and tells him it's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault. It takes her a few moments to to see her friends all crying, and then she notices that someone is walking away. It's Stiles. Scott is looking at Lydia when she notices and he follows her eyes and sees his best friend walking away rather quickly. He glances back at Lydia and he sees the silent message in her eyes.
'Go to him.'
He gets the message; and starts walking towards Stiles. By the time he reaches him, Stiles is struggling to unlock the door to his Jeep. Lydia sees Scott saying something to him and sees Scott about to lay a hand on his best friend's shoulder, but then he jolts away and it takes Lydia's breath away right before she hears him yell "No." Her and her friends hear the commotion and even Issac looks up from her shoulder to see what's going on in the parking lot. Stiles has himself back up against the Jeep and making wild hand getsures to Scott who is trying to calm him down. They hear his words.
"No! No Scott, it's not okay! It's fucking not! I killed people Scott, I caused everyone so much pain and I caused everyone this pain! Allison is dead because of me! She's fucking gone and I.." Lydia watches as he collapses to the ground in a heap and Scott is beside his friend in less then a second. Lydia feels her eyes fill up with tears, and when she looks up at Issac he just nods his head and pulls out of her arms before standing next to Kira. Lydia knows she's running towards them, but she can't even feel it. All she can focus on is the look on Stiles's face and the way he's shaking. She hears Scott talking when she reaches them.
"Stiles this isn't your fault. You didn't ask to get possessed by the Nogitsune; it's not your fault. Stiles!" Lydia hears Scott's frantic words for his best friend to understand but Stiles is only looking at the ground and shaking. Lydia notices the pained look on his face and the way he's gasping, almost like he can't..
Lydia is down on the ground beside Stiles the instant she realizes what's happening. Stiles stops thrashing and looks at Lydia with pleading eyes; Scott is still talking; Lydia knows he's just trying to help but she doesn't think he realizes what exactly is happening. Lydia puts a hand on Stiles shoulder and turns her head sharply to look at Scott.
"He's having a panic attack!" she says loudly; which shuts Scott up pretty fast. She sees the sudden pained expression come across Scott's face and her face falls at how sad he looks. She knows he's just worried about Stiles.
"It's okay." Lydia says to him; and almost to herself.
"I can help him." she looks back towards Stiles who's still staring at the ground; his chest heaving up and down at an alarmingly fast rate. She instinctively cups his face in her hands; she feels the tears on his cheeks and wipes them away before forcing him to look at her.
"Good; good. Just look at me Stiles, you're here with us. With me, okay? Just breathe with me, okay?" She starts taking slow deep breaths and he tries his hardest to follow her instructions but he can't; he's shaking to much and she sees the frantic way his eyes are moving to the ground, to her and then back to behind her where Issac and Kira still are.
"No, look at me. Do you see me?" Lydia asks him softly. He shakily nods and he continues trying to breathe along with her but he can't. He lets out a cry.
"I... I can't. oh god Lyd, I'm sorry." he speaks in a rushed tone but hearing the tears in his voice just makes her eyes well up even more. She still has her hands cupped around his face and her knees are starting to hurt from being on the ground but she ignores it and focuses on Stiles. More tears stream down his face, and the broken look he gives her literally makes her breath hitch and before she realizes what she's doing; she's leaning down to meet her ips with his. She feels him stiffen, but she notices he's holding his breath just like he did the last time she helped him stop his panic attack. She feels her cheeks heat up and she slowly pulls away, gently gripping his tshirt at the front. She opens her eyes and he opens his a second later; still holding his breath.
"Lydia.." he trails off softly before taking a deep even breath before letting it out. He slowly starts to relax and is leaning his back against his Jeep. He's staring at her with a look she's seen him give her many times and this time it makes her breath hitch and she feels the nervous feeling in her stomach.
'Butterfly's?' she thinks silently before closing her eyes and opening them again; silently looking at the ground between them.
"You held your breath again." Lydia says almost in a whisper. She feels Stiles move his legs and before she can think straight; he's holding her to his chest and the butterfly's in her stomach make her cheeks flush and her hands tremble before hugging him. So wrapped up in Stiles, she never realized when Scott had left to go find Sheriff Stilinski. Lydia hears running and turns her head to see Stiles's dad coming to a stop in front of them. It's obvious he's been crying and there's a look of worry on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks gently, looking down at the two teens on the ground. Lydia glances back at Stiles and sees him give a short nod before opening his mouth to speak.
"Yeah.. it was a panic attack, but Lydia helped." he spoke softly before looking at Lydia and giving a small smile. Sheriff Stilinki almost looks like he's about to ask something but then he gives a silent nod and asks Stiles if he'll be coming back home after this. Before he can reply back, Lydia speaks quickly.
"Actually he was gonna come over to my house, if that's okay. We were gonna go to Scott's tonight." she doesn't know where those words came from, she wasn't even planning to say them or anything for that matter. But the Sheriff just raises one eyebrow in question before glancing at his son again.
"That's fine, I already talked to Melissa about tonight." he gives another nod before helping Stiles and Lydia up; he gives his son a brief hug before pulling back and telling him he'll see him soon. They watch him walk back to Melissa and Chris Argent. Scott comes running up to them a few moments later, a look of worry still on his face.
"You okay?" he asks hesitantly, looking at Stiles who in turn glances at Lydia before giving a small smile.
"I am now."
ooooo
He can't stop looking at her. Her eyes are still red and swollen from crying and her knuckles are turning white from gripping the steering wheel so tight. She's staring straight ahead, almost like she's in a daze. If it was any other day but today and they weren't leaving Allison's funeral; he'd say she's having a Banshee episode. He knows she's only like this because she's upset and worried about him. To him that was still a hard thing to believe; Lydia Martin worried about him. He never thought he'd see the day when they'd be friends, or even each other's emotional tether. But here they were. He was worried about her too. He didn't want her to cry or be hurting. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she still looked though.
Lydia had insisted that she would drive them back to her place, because she knew he was still shaken up from his panic attack. She didn't blame him, she just wished he'd stop blaming himself for things that had happened. She never blamed him, she blamed the Nogitsune. The Nogitsune had caused her best friend to die, the Nogitsune had caused Aiden to die as well. Just the thought of that made her grind her teeth in anger and grips the steering wheel just a little bit tighter.
"Think we can stop by my place for a second? I just wanna change." Lydia quickly glanced at him to see him looking down at his hands then out the window.
"Yeah." she said shortly after; her eyes going back to looking in front of her. Soon enough they reached his house and he quickly jumped out saying he'd only be a minute. Lydia to exhausted to say anything back just nodded her head and uncurled her fingers from around the steering wheel. She felt the blood flow circulate back into her fingers and she glanced in the visor mirror to see her mascara and eyeliner smeared from crying recently. Snatching her purse from beside her she took out a tissue and wipes the smeared parts away before glancing in the visor mirror again to make sure she got it all. Putting the tissue back in her purse; she silently grabbed her phone and checked it; seeing a message from Scott.
'Watch out for him, okay? We're all worried about him.' Lydia gave a small smile after reading the text; she loved how close these two were to each other. They were like brothers more then anything else.
'I am, don't worry to much. He'll be fine.' she quickly texted back and sent the text before putting her phone back in her purse. She waited another minute before looking up and seeing Stiles walking out the door before closing it shut and walking the rest of the distance back to the Jeep. She noticed he was wearing one of his favorite plaid shirts and a pair of jeans. He glanced at her when he got back in and settled into the passengar seat. He gave a small smile before closing the door; she gave a small smile back before backing out of the driveway and back on to the road. It took less then ten minutes to get to her house, silence filled the Jeep on the way there but it was a comfortable silence; the kind that didn't need any words to know how each other was feeling right now.
Soon enough they were pulling into her empty driveway, which Stiles noticed instantly. He turned his head in her direction and gave her a questioning look. Turning the Jeep off and sighing, she glanced at Stiles before speaking.
"They're not here. On some cruise to the Bahamas; they've been gone a month." she spoke in almost a whisper. She silently got out of the car and Stiles followed doing the same. They walked up to the front door and Stiles thought of what he could possibly say. He had no idea her parents were away, but then again she had said once how her parents were always off traveling or away on business. It kind of irked him that her parents weren't home to watch out for her; he was positive that they knew nothing of what's been going on. It made him wonder if they knew about Alisson.
"I didn't know.. do they know about Allison?" he trailed off in a whisper, looking down at the shoes he had changed into at home; his converse. Lydia opened the door and they walked in, Lydia walking over to the living room and setting her purse down next to a sleeping Prada. Stiles closed the door behind him and the noise woke up the little dog, before Stiles made it into the living room Prada was across the sofa and running towards him before jumping up and down in excitment. Lydia watched in amusement as Stiles kneeled down to say hi to Prada before gently picking her up and sitting on the sofa. Lydia thought over his question in her head.
"I don't know if they know; I left my mom a voicemail the day after.. but I haven't heard anything back." Lydia felt her eyelids grow heavy, she sat down next to Stiles and Prada got up and sat in her lap before laying down. Lydia closed her eyes and sighed, waiting for Stiles to say something because she was sure he would.
"I'm sorry, Lydia."
The emotion in his voice made her open her eyes and turn to look at him. His eyes were glazed over with tears, a frown on his face. Lydia knew he wasn't just saying sorry about her parents.. it made her heart feel heavy and her throat thicken with tears of her own.
"Stiles-" a sound cut her off. She saw Stiles dig through her purse and come out with her phone in his hands. The screen was lit up and she saw the picture of her parents before Stiles said anything.
"It's your parents." he said softly, almost as if not to startle her. Lydia stared at the phone for a few more seconds, her eyes wide. She wondered if her mom had heard the voicemail or just ignored it to call her. Without thinking anymore, she grabbed her phone out of his hands and stood up before answering it.
"Lydia, hunny? Is everything okay?" she heard her moms worried tone on the other line and slowly started walking towards the kitchen. Her throat was still thick with tears and she felt like she was in a daze. How could she even begin to tell her mother this?
"Did you listen to my voicemail?" Lydia asked softly before getting to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water; she waited for her moms answer while cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder while struggling to open the cap. She couldn't stop shaking.
"Mom, did you?" Lydia felt the tears about the leak through but then she felt a presence behind her and strong arms circled her shoulders, reaching for the water bottle and taking it from her hands before opening it gently and handing it back to her. Lydia held it in her left hand, taking a sip before grabbing her phone in her right hand. She turned her head and gave Stiles a silent look of thank you. He shortly nodded before giving her a few feets space.
"What? No sweetie; I saw that you left one and I called as soon as I saw it. I know it's been awhile since you left it; our phones weren't working out where we were, I'm sorry." Lydia figured it was something like that, she leaned her hip on the kitchen counter before setting her water bottle down.
"Is everything okay?" she felt her heart start beating faster and the tears threatening to spill. She gave a short shake of her head but she knew her mom couldn't see.
"Mom.." her voice was small. Silent. Sad. Lydia Martin never sounded like this, but then again Lydia Martin had never lost her best friend until recently. She now realized what people meant when they said death of a loved one changes you.
"Sweetie-" Lydia gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, feeling a tear run down her cheek and her heart still racing; hearing her mother's worried tone just made it worse.
"She's dead mom, Allison is dead." She didn't even hear her voice when she said it, but she knew she had because she felt Stiles's eyes on her from across the kitchen. She turned around and covered her mouth as she heard her mom give a gasp.
"I-It's a long story mom, it happened not to long ago like a day after I left the voicemail..her funeral was earlier today." She heard shuiffling in the back ground and her mother calling out her father's name. Eventually she heard her mother again and Lydia gave a silent whimper.
"oh god, Lydia.. I.. me and your father our on our way back from this cruise; we're supposed to be back in about two days, okay? We'll be there soon hunny.." Lydia heard her mother's words and she tried to say something back but she couldn't. She felt her chest collapse and her sobs; she lost track of where she was but before she could freak out she felt those strong arms around her shoulders again, and she looked up into the eyes of Stiles as he gently took the phone from her and put it up to his ear.
"Ms. Martin?" Lydia heard him but it was so far away, she couldn't think, couldn't speak. This couldn't be happening. How could Allison be dead? How could Aiden be dead? True, she never loved the boy but in the end he was her friend. Allison was like her sister.
"This is Stiles, yeah Lydia is still here; she's just really upset.." Lydia didn't hear her mothers words but she knew she was probably telling him when they'd be back.
"Alright Ma'am, well don't worry to much; we're going over to Scott's tonight and my dad will be there along with Allison's dad.. it's good to stick together right now." Lydia silently thanked Stiles for telling her mom that before she heard Stile's next words.
"Don't worry, I'm not letting her out of my sight. She'll be okay." Lydia felt her breathe hitch and she didn't know why those words effected her so much but they did. She didn't realize she was crying still until Stiles said goodbye on the phone and he softly said her name before putting his arms around her tighter. She turned around in less then a second and she felt Stiles's favorite plaid shirt against her cheek, she heard his heartbeat quicken and his arms wrap around her shoulders and stroked his fingers through her hair. She gripped his shirt with shaking hands and eventually her knuckles turned white as she cried into his shirt while he whispered sweet words to her.
Lydia didn't know how long they stood like that, clutching to eachother in her kitchen. Lydia didn't care. She was lucky to still have Stiles here with her. She may have lost her best friend and Aiden, but she didn't lose everyone. She didn't lose Scott, Issac, Kira and Stiles.. and with that thought she buried her head deeper into his chest before wrapping her arms around his waist and crying out again. He didn't question her actions, didn't judge her or pull away. He held her tighter, his fingers continuing to strook her hair. They stayed like that until her breathing slowed and her tears stopped.
ooooo
Lydia wasn't sure how long they stayed like that; him holding her in the kitchen as she trembled from her tears and the sobs that racked her body. But eventually she found herself on the living room sofa with a big blanket over her shoulders and Stiles sitting next to her; her leaning on him. Her breathing had slowed and she was no longer shaking, but she couldn't focus. Couldn't think. She knew she told her mother. Her parents would be home in a few days. Allison was dead. She went to her best friends funeral today. She was falling apart.
Lydia breathed a sigh before glancing at Stiles and seeing him staring at their fingers enterwined together. She wonders when that happened. She feels his thumb stroking pattens and she feels more relaxed, safe even. She tightens her hold on him and he looks up, surprised. Their eyes meet and Lydia swears her breath stops just as his does. You think she'd get over the way he constantly looked at her, but Lydia realized it always left her slightly breathless and confused as to why it'd possibly make her feel so lightheaded and warm inside.
Before Lydia can think anything else, Stiles pulls away slowly; unclasping their hands and stands up. She watches him do so, a curious look on her face. He looks down at her, the big blanket practically engulfing her and he gives a small smile.
"Are you thirsty? I can get you some water, make you some tea or hot chocolate maybe?" he asks her, trailing off and looking down at her in question. She just stares at him, wondering how she got so lucky to have such an amazing friend; an amazing person who cared so much. Jackson never even offered to get her a drink before; certainly not an alcoholic one let alone just some water or even going so far as to making hot chocolate or tea. She stares up at him for a few more seconds before moving her position on the sofa and putting her hands in her lap.
"Vodka." She says stronger then she expected to. It surprises her for a moment but then she remembers she's Lydia Martin. She may have fallen apart earlier but she was great at composing herself when needed. She watches Stiles's face go from questioning look to 'confused beyond belief' look to 'are you serious, vodka' look in a matter of seconds. Lydia couldn't help but smile at his expressions, she covered her smile with the blanket and buried herself further into it.
"Uh, for real? Vodka? You have that?" he stutters out, rubbing his neck with an eyebrown raised. She raises one back before speaking.
"Ofcourse, my parents have a whole liquor cabinet always stocked. They don't care if I have any as long as I'm responsible with it." It was true, her parents always kept their liquor cabinet stocked even though most of the time they weren't ever home. But on some weekends, she'd see her mom have a glass of red wine with a book cradled in her lap and her dad would be watching TV with a glass of scotch or rum. But she preferred Vodka. After hearing her response, Stiles gives her a long look before silently nodding.
"It's in the kitchen, cabinet closest to the fridge." He just gives a nod before walking out and into the kitchen. Before Lydia realizes it, she's standing up and lighting a fire in the living room fire place. It'd been awhile since she'd had a fire going in here and she missed the warmth it gave and how calm it always seemed to make her. She's sitting on the floor a few feet away from the fire, blanket wrapped around her when she hears footsteps behind her. She looks up to see Stiles with the bottle of vodka, as well as two small glasses filled with ice in his hands. She smiles at him and pats the space next to her, he sits down and gently sets down the glasses before unscrewing the vodka bottle and pouring some for each of them. He softly hands her a cup and she smiles at him gratefully. She tries to ignore the feeling she gets when their fingers brush. Her eyes stare down at the glass cup in her hand, feeling the warmth from the fire and feeling Stiles's brown eyes on her. She brings the cup back and quickly drinks until there's nothing left but remains of ice.
Lydia feels it glide down her throught and a warmth spread through out her stomach and to her limbs. She feels a little better already. She turns to see Stiles giving her a wide eyed look before noticing he's staring and looks down at his cup in embarresement. Lydia smiles at his reaction and slowly lays the big blanket down on the ground and lays on her back; watching the shadows on the ceiling from the fire.
"I didn't take you for a drinker." Stiles says, amused. He sips at his drink before grimacing and just saying the hell with it and gulps it down before he can think anything else. He feels the warmth instantly, and the burn in his throat. He gives a slight cough before hearing Lydia give a giggle. A giggle? He glances down to see her laying down over the blanket, her strawberry blonde hair frayed out around her. But what catches his attention more then anything else is the bright smile she's wearing. She gives another giggle before meeting his eyes.
She knows she's tipsy, possibly slightly drunk. She giggled, and sober Lydia does not giggle. When she catches Stiles's eyes watching her, she feels something in her stomach but knows it's not from the alcohol. She knows she's also smiling at him and before she can think otherwise she sits up, coming face to face with him. She watches his eyes widen in surprise and notices his eyes are slightly dilated. Only a few inches away, she licks her lips before speaking.
"More?" she whispers before putting a hand around the neck of the vodka bottle. He glances down at it before gulping. What the hell was going on.
"Uhh, yeah sure. But let me pour it, okay?" he gently pries her fingers off from around the bottle; and takes the cap off before pouring more into each of their glasses. She takes her glass with a mumbled thank you. He watches her gently sip it this time before hearing her voice again.
"I wouldn't say I'm that much of a drinker. Special occasions I'll have a glass of wine, Christmas dinner and New Years I'll drink." he listens to her, and nods when she's finished. It's silent then, Stiles sipping at his drink before gulping it down and grimacing again. He probably would have coughed again if he hadn't heard her speak then.
"I used to drink a lot after Jackson left.. just, a lot. I don't know why. It helped for a bit, but then everything just started getting crazier and so much started happening and I got lost in the supernatural rather than the drinking. It's a good thing I guess." he hears the emotion in her voice and knows if it wasn't for the vodka, she probably wouldn't be telling him this. But none the less Stiles feels honored that she would trust him this much with something so personal that she probably only ever shared with Allison.
He watches her gulp down the rest of her drink. Watches her set the glass down next to the bottle and watches her gaze stay on the flames in the fireplace. He wants to say something, knows he should; but has no idea what. It's true things had gotten crazier since Jackson left, and he didn't blame the banshee for drowning her sorrows in liquor. He had watched his father do the same after his mother died. Stiles understood. He feels the warmth around him, from the alcohol and the fire in front of them. Before he can think he reaches over and touches her hair, putting a stray strand behind her ear. Her head jults up and she watches him watch her.
"You're a fighter."
Lydia hears his words, hears the sincirity in his voice and sees the emotion in his eyes. It reminds her of that moment back in his bedroom when he had told her not to blame herelf for not finding Barrow and he had reassured her and told her that he believed her, trusted in her. She knew he loved her. She knew back then, and she knew now. But this time it makes her breath hitch in her throat as well as her eyes to water. When he notices, he quickly pulls his hand away and looks at her with wide eyes before speaking quickly.
"I-I'm sorry, please don't-" he sees a flash of red, more like strawberry blonde hair; flash across his view before he feels arms around his neck and a face snuggled under his chin. He feels her shoulders shake and he wraps his arms around her slim waist without a second thought.
ooooo
Lydia isn't sure how she ends up in his arms, she remembered the words he said to her but she's not sure why it made her so upset. But then she remembers thinking back to the moment in his room with him that one night, what feels like forever ago but was only a month ago. Then she remembers the way he looked at her. He loves her. She buries her face into his neck; her arms tightening around him. She knows she's upset about Allison being dead, Allison being gone. She feels like she'll always hurt from that. But she knows it's so much more then that. She feels his arms encircle her waist; and she settles to sitting in his lap with her arms still around him. Her mind was fuzzy and she knew she was crying, yet she couldn't help but feel grateful that he had lived. He was still here.
"Thank you." she whispers before removing her arms from around his neck. Lydia feels the tears on her cheeks and goes to wipe at them before feeling fingers upon her face; she looks up into brown eyes and he gives her a questioning look.
"Why are you thanking me?" he asks, wiping the last of her tears away but more surround her eyes as she hears his question. She smiles up at him through her tears before sitting up more in his lap; her fingers sprawled out on his shirt and her face mere inches away from his. She smiles at his dumbfounded look before giving a teary smile. Her words make him tear up too.
"Thank you for being a fighter too; thank you for not dying."
His mouth gapes open before he feels arms around him again and his senses is filled with Lydia. All he can think to do is hug her back, and much to his surprise (although not really) he sheds more then a few tears too.
ooooo
Lydia wasn't all to sure how long she stayed there in his lap with her arms around him, but eventually after her tears had stopped and her head was spinning from all the vodka; she felt him moving to get up. He laid her on the sofa, and she watched through half lidded eyes as he put out the fire. She then watched him grab the bottle and stumble to the kitchen to put it away, as well as put the cups in the sink. By the time he got back, her eyes were closed and she didn't open them again until she felt his arms go under her and he picked her up bridal style.
She looks up at him with a drunk smile, her hand moving to make circled patters on his shirt. She tried to think of what to say but her mind was as jumbled as everything else was in that moment. He spoke before she could.
"I..I'm gonna carry you up the stairs. Attempt to carry you up the stairs. To your room." She notices how slurred his speech is and she completely understands when he says 'attempt'. It causes her to laugh because she realizes Stiles Stilinski is really drunk right now. She had never seen him drunk before, although she had seen him drink at Danny's rave party but that was nothing compared to vodka. He lifts an eyebrow at her laughter and she giggles before saying anything.
"You're so drunk Stiles." she tries her best to make her speech sound normal but she knows it sounded as slurred as his words. He gives her a smile and they begin their walk towards the stairs.
"Oh please Lyd, you're wasted." as he's saying the words, he slowly takes the stairs one at a time, once almost falling causing Lydia to fling her arms around Stiles's neck and him to grip the railing with one hand while the other holds her. She laughs at his stumble and doesn't stop until they get to the top. By then Stiles's eyes are wide and his head is spinning. He stumbles their way to her room; and he opens the door.
The room is dark; the sun already setting. He shuffles his way to where he hopes is her bed. She notices how close they are and before she can say a word; his foot hits the foot of her bed and causes him to fall foward; which lands him on her bed. Lydia feels the breath escape her as the force from his fall causes her to fall onto the bed, she doesn't notice he's on top of her until she feels him attempting to get up. He's not all that heavy and if anything he's really warm and she doesn't mind it all to much.
Stiles's mind is reeling. He should have known the damn bed was right in front of him, he really was drunk. It wasn't all to bad other then for the fact that the room was spinning and it only got worse as he fell forward and ended up on top of Lydia. His breath hitched as he felt her under him and he shifted, trying to get up before she freaked out on him for being such a fuck up when drunk. But to his surprise he felt her hands reach up to his shoulders; making him stop moving and look down at her. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see her hair tangled out and around her, he could see her green eyes staring back at him. The room stopped spinning when her hands moved up to his neck, then to his face. He couldn't think when she reached up and kissed him.
His eyes widened in surprise, he really couldn't breath now. A part of him knew he should pull away because he knew she was drunk, wasted even. She didn't know what she was doing. The other part of him just didn't care. He'd been in love with Lydia Martin since the third grade, he watched her ignore him for years and then watched as all the supernatural things took over Beacon Hills and he watched them become close in the middle of all the choas, mystery, pain and death. He knew he now had an emotional tether to her; she had been his anchor that had pulled him back. He knew something changed between them after that. He wondered if she knew it to though.
Without giving anything another thought, he slowly kisses her back; leaning his knees on the bed and leaning over her more with his hands tangled in her hair. He hears a moan in the back of her throat and he almost loses his sanity right then and there, and then he feels her small hands roaming over his body and go down to his jeans. He gives a groan, kissing her harder. She wraps her arms around his neck to bring him closer and before she can wrap her legs around his waist; he gently pulls back and looks at her. Her lips are slightly swollen, her eyes glazed over from the vodka and kissing. He wants to tell her how beautiful she lookis in this moment, but he figures that'd be a bit cliche.' His thoughts are racing as to why she'd possibly kiss him, he speaks his thoughts before he realizes it.
"Why?" his voice is small, vulnerable. He knows Lydia has been known for sleeping around with guys, and he knew she liked to use them as a distraction. He always knew. Even with Aiden. He didn't even think she really liked him like that. He was just good looking, and someone to sleep with. Stiles knew deep down, that wasn't Lydia. He knew she wanted passion as well as love. But Jackson had broken something in her when he left, and Stiles knew that. She had given up on finding something real, and had stuck with distractions. Because distractions were safe.
Her mouth opens after she hears his question, she thinks of what she could say. She can't lie, not to Stiles. He would know she was lying. She knew this wasn't some distraction, she knew there was a reason she kissed him and this time it wasn't because of a panic attack. She continues looking at him, thinking everything over. She remembers how she felt when she kissed him to stop his panic attack, the way she got goosebumps and her heart raced, as if it was gonna come bursting out of her chest. The butterfly's that engulfed her stomach. She may be drunk right now, but those things she felt before are still here now. This time she can't ignore them. She refuses to ignore them for any longer. Slowly sitting up a bit more, Stiles still on his knees; he leans down to sit and she gives him a small smile. She's almost glad it's dark in her room she he can't see the growing blush on her cheeks.
"I feel things." she says it almost in a whisper, but he hears her perfectly. His heart starts to race again and he's at a loss of what to say. She feels things? What things? He honestly has no idea.
"What-" she cuts him off quickly.
"For you." The room had been spinning still for him but now everything stopped. He stopped breathing, mind stopped spinning; he stared blankly at her. Was she really that wasted to be saying these kinds of things? She sees the disbelief on his face, and knows he's speechless. Probably thinks she's to drunk to know what she's saying.
"I feel things for you.. special things; I dont.. don't know when it happened.. maybe after the sacrifices.. maybe after in the locker room.. but definitly after you got possesed by the nogitsune.." her voice trails off and ends in a whisper; her gaze travels to her hands which she's now placed in her lap and before she can blink; his hands are on top of her. She looks up at him, a scared look on her face. This was the first time she was really opening her heart up to someone after Jackson. She never thought it'd be possible for her again... to love someone again. But she knew she loved Stiles. Felt it in her very being. She knew.
Sties didn't know what to believe. He wanted to believe her, he'd been pining after her for years. Always wanted her and only her, to be able to love her and her love him back. He never thought it'd happen. Never thought he'd see the day where Lydia Martin would feel things for him. He leans over and covers her hands with his; she looks up at him. She can tell she's scared, scared of rejection and of putting her heart on the line for someone again. But he'd be an idiot to throw her heart away. He never loved her more then he did in this moment.
He gives her a smile, before embracing her in a hug. He wraps his arm around her neck and hugs her tight, she wraps her arms around his wiast and holds on to him. He nuzzles his face into her neck and whispers for her to hear.
"It's okay, I love you. I always have."
He feels her stiffen in his arms but then she's pulling herself back and for an instant Stiles almost thinks she's gonna jump up and run away, but then she's cradling his face in her hands and she's kissing him and he notices there are tears on her cheeks and his heart hurts but then she's smiling at him through all the kisses and he realizes it's because she's happy. It causes something in him to stir and he playfully jumps on top of her and starts giving her small kisses over her face and neck; she laughs and then they're kissing again.
Lydia likes to think that Allison is looking down at them from above right now, and appuading her for finally realizing. Allison would be proud of her for taking a leap. Kissing Stiles harder, she thinks just maybe things will be okay.