Thank You Shepard
"You're Commander Shepard, right?"
Jayde Shepard turned from the bar too look at a young woman. It was clear from the pistol at her hip that she wasn't a civilian and she wasn't dressed in a C-Sec uniform. She wore a dark red sports bra under a tan jumper like Shepard wore around the ship and heavy black army boots. She stood before the Commander with her hip cocked to the side and her arms crossed over her chest.
"Depends on who's asking." Shepard answered.
The woman smiled before relaxing her posture and holding out a gloved hand. "Name's Carolina Cain and I just want to talk to ya."
Taking her hand Shepard shook it. "You're not a fan are you because I've had enough of them."
She shook her head. "Not exactly but I do want to know about one of your missions."
"Reporter." Came the growl before Carolina pulled her hand back.
She let out bark of laughter and held up her hands in a peaceful gesture. "You missed the mark on that one." Dropping her one hand the other fled to her mess of short red hair scratching at it. "I just want to know a little more." Her eyes darted around nervously before looking back at the commander. "Let me buy you a drink and we can talk."
Shepard looked over the woman before nodding. She had come to Citadel to pick up supplies with Garrus and Thane but they had their own things to grab so it wouldn't hurt to chat and have a few drinks before they got back. Taking a seat she waited for Carolina to come from the bar which didn't take long. The red head slid into the other side of the booth before setting down a bottle of alcohol and two glasses.
"Thought brandy would do well." She said filling both glasses. Shepard nodded taking the drink offered.
"So what do you want to know?" She asked drinking half the glass.
Carolina looked down at her drink for a moment then downed the whole thing. Pouring herself a new one she sighed. "Well I need you to know something about me before I ask about your mission." Shepard lifted her eyes watching the woman. Her blue eyes dulled before she started. "I was born on earth to a middle class family. Mom just disappeared one day and Dad couldn't keep up the life we had. So we caught a ride through the Mass Relay to some human colony." She laughed slightly. "We didn't stay long enough to even learn the name of the place. Dad decided to put his shooting skills to use. So I spent my youth jumping from place to place chasing bounties, hacking systems and learning that the universe hates human. Then one day we had a Krogan bounty cornered and well it didn't turn out well for Dad. I was twelve and the Krogan took me with him."
"Why?" Shepard asked refiling her glass.
"I guess he felt bad." Carolina said shrugging turning her own full glass in her hand. "Or because I was a kid. I really don't know. Anyways, turns out he was a pirate. I didn't know what to think one minute I was hunting down the criminals of the galaxy the next I become one."
"It must have been hard adjusting to working for the man that killed your father."
"Not really." Carolina said waving a hand dismissively. "I was pretty numb by that point. Being shot at daily would do that to ya." She downed her glass and smacked it on the table with a sigh. There was a distant look in her eyes like she was looking at something only she could see. Shaking her head she let a smirk slip across her face. "So I started running tech for them. The krogan, Jenro was nice enough. He kept an eye on me, made sure I was even getting an actual education. I mean it wouldn't get me into any university but he made sure I didn't fall behind." She poured herself another glass. "It was a hard life but strangely I enjoyed it. They became like a family. Well one day about six years later we docked here on the Citadel."
"A pirate ship on Citadel, that couldn't have ended well."
"It didn't."
"Why not go to Omega?"
"Not enough fuel or supplies to last us that long. Also our engineer was sick. Wouldn't trust a doctor on Omega to actually know what he's doing."
Shepard nodded in agreement. "A back alley doctor verses a sterile environment I know which one I would choose."
She laughed and nodded. "Yeah we made the same choice. It was the first time I was back here since my Father died. I didn't feel safe then I felt worse when we stepped onto the docks. Still no one was bothering us. We went to the medical facility above C-Sec." Shepard gave her a surprised look. "We were pirates skirting danger is what we did. Well turns out the last couple ships we raided were unmarked Council ships and C-Sec came for us while the doctor was helping out our engineer." She tipped her glass back and forth. "I wasn't prepared when they came in guns blazing. It was something out of an old vid. People ducking for any kind of cover, gun shots echoing, charring holes into walls just above your head. It was chaos. Jenro, Darin and I went through the window in the back and onto a ledge. Well Darin and I made it onto the ledge Jenro couldn't get his footing on the narrow metal. He fell."
Carolina rubbed the back of her neck with a sigh. "It hurt to lose him and the others but we escaped back to the ship and we fled. There was only a skeleton crew left and without Jenro we never stood a chance at surviving. What remained of the crew broke down into infighting. So I wasn't surprised when in the middle of the night gunfire broke out. What did throw me off was when my door opened and Darin frantically telling me we had to leave, that someone was on the ship."
"Who?" Shepard asked looking up intrigued.
"A turian, more precisely a turian Specter named Nihlus." She chuckled tracing the rim of her drink with a fond smile. Shepard felt her heart clench at the name. She had always felt bad about not being fast enough to save him. Yet now that feeling was twisting into something akin to guilt. Maybe she shouldn't have stopped to talk to the woman.
"Darin and I tried to make it to the escape pods but he collapsed in mid-stride." Carolina frowned. "I wasn't expecting to find him dead still holding my hand, so when it happened I screamed jerking away. That was the first time I laid eyes on a Specter, on Nihlus and I wanted him dead. In my anger I forgot that I can't shoot; missed him in a two person wide hallway three times before my gun jammed."
"What did he do?"
"Knocked me out. I woke up on his ship and I had a tantrum. I mean I screamed, pulled at my restraints, kicked his seat and cured him in so many tongues that at one point he turned and looked at me with a shocked expression. Nihlus drug me literally kicking and screaming in front of the Council. "
Shepard looked over the woman. She had been a criminal most of her life or just drifting the fine line of the law and was brought before the Council at sixteen. "So how are you not locked away?" She asked gesturing with a hand for her to continue.
Carolina shrugged. "I think they took my age into account…" She flashed a clever smile. "…also I cut a deal. I would give them the locations of all our caches across the universe. Had them stored in almost every system. The Council allowed me to stay here if I found a legal job and stayed out of trouble. I thought that was it for me; that I would have a boring normal human life." Carolina said pouring more brandy into Shepard's glass.
"I sense a but coming." She said nodding thanks for the new glass.
"Got it in one. I was sixteen so it was hard to find legal work especially when you have a rap sheet like mine. I made just enough to cover an apartment. It was in the sleaziest part of the wards." She shivered shaking her head. "Had some of the roughest times there in my life but almost a month in to this new life Nihlus shows up." Stifling a laugh she smirked. "I was being checked up on by a Specter. He was checking up on me most of the time making sure I was doing the right thing. Other times he would show up with supplies and want to talk. I actually forgot that I wanted to kill him and began to enjoy his visits."
Finishing her drink Carolina stood tanking the empty bottle in her hand. "I'll be right back." She said heading back to the bar. Shepard watched the woman. She didn't miss a step as she placed the bottle on the bar taking the new one the bartender had set up. Nodding her thanks she returned to the table and poured about her round for the both of them.
"So him coming by was normal for nearly three years. He would visit almost every day when he wasn't on a mission and the ones the day or two before he left for a mission were always longer than normal." She scrubbed her face with a hand then paused to trace a scar that ran from her left eyebrow to her right cheek. "It was all fine until I got jumped one night going home. I should have known better. The gangs had always been on edge about his comings and goings. I should have told Nihlus to stay away for a couple of days but I really don't think it would have mattered. Someone found out he was a Specter."
"They went after you…" Carolina nodded. "…to get to him."
"They tried but I wasn't stupid. I saw them following me. I may not be too talented with a pistol but hacking and knives I can do. It was a bloody mess. It's hard to remember what actually happened. I know C-Sec showed up and took everyone still alive in custody. I blacked out on the ride back to hospital." She took a drink slower this time. "Nihlus was there when I woke up. Idiot fell asleep in the chair." Her voice dipped low pain echoing in it. "Turns out he was worried about me and insisted I move in with him. I told him he was an idiot and I was fine. Then out of nowhere he blurts out that my waist looked supportive." She smirked.
Shepard sputtered on her drink. Those had been the words Garrus had used on her the night before going through the Omega 4 Relay. "What did you do?"
"I didn't know whether to punch him or laugh so I stared at him like an idiot. Turns out he meant to complement me and was too nervous to think of anything else. I agreed to move in with him. We worked things out and were strangely happy. Within the year he asked me to marry him."
"I didn't know." She had never actually considered that Nihlus would have a family. He was a Specter which meant constantly on the move following the Councils orders. He wouldn't have time for one.
Carolina chuckled sadly. "No one really did. It was an off the records marriage. Nihlus was worried that the wrong person would link me to him again. So we had it approved and signed by Councilor Sparatus. That was a chore. He was certain that I had brain washed Nihlus into loving me." She scrubbed her face tiredness showing in her eyes. "We adopted a child after a few years, a turian that had been caught up in a slaver's raid. Even if we didn't see a lot of each other we were happy. When he came home to us it felt like the world was complete. Two years later Eden Prime happened." Carolina looked up at Shepard her blue eyes sparkled with confined tears. "Then the Citadel was attacked and Haden, our son died while we tried to evacuate."
Shepard suddenly felt cornered. "Is that why you want to talk to me to make me feel guilty for the choices I made." She snapped taking a defensive tone. Carolina shook her head. "Then you want revenge." She ground out grabbing for her weapon.
"Not anymore." She said waving off the defensive solider. "Believe it or not Sparatus talked me out of it. I mean it was to save his own life but it was still a good gesture. He knew why I was there and he talked to me. Not as a turian to a human or a politician to a civilian but a once grieving father to a broken mother and wife. I calmed down but still chucked my weapon at him. He didn't duck." She grinned at the memory.
Shepard had moved her hand back to the table to take up her drink again. "So why did you want to talk to me?"
Carolina laced her fingers together and rested them above her upper lip to look at the Commander she had originally blamed for Nihlus' death. "I was here when the Citadel was attacked so I Know what happened but I only received the official report about Eden Prime. I need something more than the cleaned up version of events."
"You want to hear it from me."
"Correct. I want to hear that you tried. I want to hear what went through your mind. I want to hear what happened to you, Shepard." The friendly tone Carolina originally had been using was gone. She was speaking as if the universe had ended and Shepard could see that it had for her.
"There is nothing else to say. Everything was in the reports. Nihlus said he moved faster on his own. I lost a solider and saved another. We found civilians made sure they were safe and got to the docks too late to save him. Saren had shot him. Do I wish we could have moved faster? Yes. Do I wish I could have saved Jenkins, Nihlus and everyone on the colony? Yes. Do I wish I could have done more? Hell yes. I had to make choices…" Shepard's voice cracked as she spoke slamming her hand down on the table shaking the second nearly empty bottle of brandy. "…but some were taken out of my hands before I knew what was going on."
Carolina sighed and leaned back. "And you're sure he was dead?"
"Yes."
"Was it quick?"
Studying the woman Shepard felt something in her mind twitch alcohol laced mind. Carolina had received the cleaned report from Eden Prime. It would have had no mention of Nihlus, or any other Specters. They had been secretly married no one save a councilor and maybe The Shadow Broker knew of it. "His body…"
"…went back to his mother. I couldn't even attend the funeral. If I did I would have had to explain everything to his mother and everyone there. It would have caused problems and I wouldn't want to do that." She answered looking off to the side as if looking at something.
"It was quick." Shepard watched as the woman directed a tight glare at her. There was no danger no malice just processing the information. "A single shot to the back his head. Saren was another…"
"I know who Saren was but the back?" Shepard nodded and was surprised by the growl she heard. It was similar to Garrus when someone had injured her and he was aiming at them. Carolina didn't look like she was growling but the sound rumbled out of her. It must have been something she picked up from her time with Nihlus. "The coward couldn't even face him. I'm just sorry I couldn't cut the bastard myself."
"Saren wasn't himself. He was being controlled by the Reapers."
"Sounds like you're defending the rat bastard." She growled then smiled with a small chuckle. "Just like Nihlus would." Carolina's onmi-tool beeped and she activated it.
"Cain we're heading out with or without you in ten minutes." A gruff voice snapped across the comm.
"I'm coming Craven." She growled back before disconnecting the link. "I have to go Shepard. Boss will kill me if I'm late getting back again." Carolina stood and started to walk away before pausing.
"You seem to have moved on."
Carolina let out a bark of laughter as she had originally. "Far from it Shepard." She let a cruel smile slip onto her face. "I'm pretty numb again or insane depending on whom you ask." She extended her hand.
"So that's it. You just wanted to know if he was really dead?" Shepard asked shaking her hand.
"Yes and no. Mostly I needed to hear that you weren't the monster or the perfect hero people painted you to be. You're a lot like Nihlus slightly distant but fierce with a good sense of justice. Keep the rest of that bottle." She cocked her head to the side before turning and walking away. "Oh and one more thing." Shepard looked up from the bottle. Carolina smiled softly and bowed her head.
"Thank you Shepard."
A/N: So I went back and read what I wrote for this and I want to apologize because I was sick when I wrote this originally and in my fogged out mind it actually was good. Again sorry about that so I edited it and fixed it so to me it reads better. How you enjoy this more than the original version. Good reading and remember to review.