Hello lovely people! Here's my second Kingdom Hearts story - don't worry, I haven't given up on Insatiable, the next chapter and surprise announcement will be coming shortly! This is more of a spur-of-the-moment idea that I'll write drabbly chapters for from time to time. Kind of a story-made-of-oneshots kind of thing. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy the opening!
Flight 124 has been delayed. Please remain seated near the gate to await further announcements.
Ha! A delay! That had to be a sign.
I was standing, not because I was impatient like the other frazzled passengers, but because I was undecided. I clutched the ticket close to my chest, my carry-on bag filled with necessities at my feet. All my worldly possessions were at home. Home, where I would gladly stay.
I was staring at the electronic ticker board, praying it would pop up with the words 'cancelled'. Now that would be a sign if there ever was one. Face screwed in anticipation, watching a sign that probably wouldn't change, I could practically hear the theatrical ticking of an invisible clock, mocking the time left until boarding.
The tick-tocking was momentarily torn by a shrill cry. To my left, a woman hushing her screaming child, saying he 'didn't wanna go'. I feel ya, kid. Heck, I wasn't even being restrained. I had the free will to leave this place if I so chose.
Naminé, if you don't take this opportunity, I will stick that scholarship where the sun don't shine!
Well, maybe I was a little restrained. Kairi had that effect on people.
Still, I had to be comfortable with it, didn't I? If I was so much happier staying here, working in the little café, doing my current course, my close circle of friends and a future here awaiting me… why should I throw all that away for what might – might – be a dream career come true? It just made no sense.
I hadn't realised I was holding the handle of my wheelie bag and taking a few steps back. It would just be so easy to turn around and never look back. Forget about the scholarship. Forget about my naïve dream. Go back home, where the boys would greet me with a sarcastic comment about chickening out, where my own, comfortable bed was and a course that I was kind of interested in awaited me next Monday. Sure, it wasn't flash, but it was home. It was comfortable. Constant. There were no unwanted surprises, just the way I liked it. It was what I knew.
What I didn't know was how that woman over there could even stand in those ginormous heels. God, I'd never fit in in Paris! Of all the stupid things I had to wish a career out of, I had to choose the fine arts. I just didn't fit in with the uppity, snobbish people and their high fashion and fancy connections. I was quite content to my sketchbook at home.
This was stupid. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. No matter how wonderful Kairi had made it sound – and man did she beat it into my head – You'll be doing what you love for a course, and eventually a living! And you'll be in Paris for a whole year! You'll meet a rich guy and get married and become a famous artist and eat cheese, gosh I'm jealous! – I just couldn't give in to such a foolish fantasy. I'll admit, the scholarship was a great surprise, and I was grateful for the opportunity, but I just couldn't do it. Leave behind everything I am, my own little microcosm, and expect to make a great living in a strange city? Sorry, but that's not for me.
Well, at least I get to make the graphics on the blackboard for the specials at the café.
My insecurities got the better of me yet again and I searched around for another sign – anything that would tell me not to go – aha! The woman just took that crying child away. Well, if he could get out of it, so could I. I gripped the handle of my luggage and launched myself out of this life trap –
Ack! Ran right into a stranger, smooth one Nam. At least he was decent looking. Fashionable attire, dirty blonde hair, bright blue eyes … I didn't even notice my papers went flying everywhere. Not that I cared about my ticket anymore.
"Sorry," He leaned down to retrieve the forms, first handing back the ticket, then – oh gods why did I drop that too – he took a glance at my scholarship. "Wow, you got accepted here too? Congrats!"
"Er – thanks," I took the papers and held them awkwardly, having no place to stow them away. If this guy thought he could postpone my getaway, he could think again. "Well, safe flight!"
"Hey, hang on!" Great, how was I going to get out of this one? I turned back with a look of impatience so he would get the message. "Aren't you boarding?"
"Yeah, nah," I leaned against my baggage casually, a tone of indifference. "I don't think this place is for me. But enjoy!"
"But… it's such a great university, how could you pass up something like this?" He looked so insulted, like I was questioning his own integrity.
To be honest, I didn't know how to answer his question without looking like a fool. I wanted to keep working in a tiny café at minimum wage? I wanted to stay here and resign to a course my heart wasn't truly into? I wanted to get slaughtered by Kairi?
"Well, I… I guess this just isn't the right time for me to go chasing such a tough career. Play it safe, y'know?" Smooth. Now to roll my way out of here.
He looked a little taken aback. "Uh, sure, you could play it safe… but there's never really a 'right' time to go for your dream, is there?" He paired this question with a quirk of his lips, daring me to say otherwise.
I raised my eyebrows. "Sure there is. If you get all the right signs…" And all the signs told me to get the hell outta here.
"Psh," he exasperated, basically spitting on my idea, "signs. You're not one of those, are you? Excuse my cheesiness, but you have to make your own destiny sometimes. Just go for it."
Who the hell was this guy!? I was not about to listen to some chump giving me philosophical advice. I clutched the ticket tighter in my hand.
Flight 124 to Paris will now be departing in fifteen minutes. Please line up at the gate.
The guy just shrugged at me then, and grabbed his own bag. "It's up to you, but I wouldn't give up on myself so easily. You gotta get out of your comfort zone every now and then. If nothing else, it'll be an adventure. Everyone fails sometimes. And it's just an exchange, it's not like its forever."
He turned and left me there, filled with more doubt and fear than when I'd arrived. The nerve of that guy…
Was I really giving up on myself? I wouldn't call it that. I was being… cautious. Careful. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill course; this was overseas, faraway, and definitely not comfortable. Get out of my comfort zone, ha… what good did that bring but embarrassment?
If I went over there only to fail the one thing I'd dreamed of doing all my life, then I couldn't imagine what would happen to me. At least here, at home, I could go to uni and hang out with my friends and live life without much thought… even if I felt like something was missing. I just couldn't take the risk.
Flight 124 to Paris will be departing in ten minutes.
The theatrical ticking was replaced with the sickening, deep sound of my own heart thumping within my chest, counting down the seconds I had left to decide. The screaming child was now tear-free and happily boarding the plane with his mother. I couldn't do it. I could lose everything. I could fail the only thing I knew might bring me a rewarding career, something to really pour myself into – just the knowledge that one day I might be able to pursue it was enough to satiate me. Actually going for it meant risking everything.
Everyone fails sometimes.
But I didn't want to fail – especially not at this. I would take all the disappointment of not taking this chance, all of Kairi's jabs, if it meant not facing my own disappointment when my art was not good enough. I could live so cautiously, and with a dream in my mind, that the prospect of it still being attainable would allow me never to fail at all…
… But then, I fail by default, don't I?
I'm such a coward.
This is the final boarding call for Flight 124 for Paris.
I hadn't even realised I'd let go of my luggage and had been staring at the gate the last ten minutes. I jerked my bag around and hurried for the door. Stupid other-scholarship-guy.
Well, who knows, maybe I would reach my dream. Maybe I would meet someone, and maybe finishing my old course was a good thing. Maybe.
Feeling strangely light, I stepped into the cabin and searched for my seat, excitement welling up inside me. Let's see, row K, J, I…
Oh, no.
"Look who decided to come after all!" A look of utter satisfaction as he threw his arm over the seat next to him, my seat. "I'm impressed."
This was going to be a long flight.
I love giving poor Namine a hard time. Let me know what you think, it's very much appreciated, and thanks for reading!