A/N: The usual disclaimer: I still don't own Lie To Me, or any of the characters.
This one is set sometime around the middle of season one. Thanks for reading!
In the few short years since its founding, the Lightman Group had gained quite the professional reputation around DC. Everyone from the local police to the FBI had come knocking on their door as of late – their client list was starting to become a veritable "Who's Who" directory for the local political arena. Gillian was beyond proud. She and Cal had worked so hard to establish themselves; they were determined to make a difference, to use their science and their skills to make a positive change in the community. And through their work, she felt personally and professionally fulfilled, as if the ideals she had as a struggling grad student determined to save the world hadn't all been for naught.
On this particular evening, she and Cal had been invited to speak at Georgetown; they were to be the guests of honor at a fundraiser promoting the University's political science program. It was a chance to show off their science and to network with the other attendees, and Gillian had been looking forward to it all week. Their entire staff would be in attendance, with Cal insisting that Loker and Torres both learn the art of schmoozing the DC socialites; they could never have too many investors, he'd reasoned. Alec had promised to accompany her, and it was to have been their first night together in months… a chance to toast her professional accomplishments and look toward their future.
As of late, their marriage had been shaky at best. Loosing Sophie had been the catalyst. They talked less and argued more, and neither seemed willing to compromise about anything - it was as if being 'right' had become more important than being 'happy.' For Gillian, this evening was a leap of faith. She had begun to think that maybe Alec was willing to work on things. That he really was ready to make a commitment to sobriety, and to her. That the little flashes of guilt she'd seen in his face every time he mentioned Christine really were because of the shame he felt about his drug use, and not because of anything romantic he felt toward the other woman. She knew that this evening wouldn't be the magic wand they needed to fix their marriage, but she hoped it would be a start.
Gillian paced in the foyer, waiting for Alec. He should have been home hours ago, and she hadn't been able to reach him on his cell. She tried his office, just to confirm that nothing had come up at the last minute, but there was no answer there either. She was starting to worry – something was definitely wrong.
Just then, she heard him on the front step fumbling with his key. She breathed a sigh of relief, thankful he was safe and that he hadn't forgotten about her, and hurried to open the door for him. She was smiling as she pulled it open – smiling as her eyes traveled over him, seeing that he was unharmed. But Alec was frowning at her… almost scowling. His brows were drawn tightly and his fists were clenched, and everything about his entire demeanor was angry. He turned from her to wave at the car that began to pull down their darkened driveway. And that's when it hit her. He'd been with Christine. He'd left her home alone on one of the biggest nights in her professional career – had worried her to death and damn near stood her up – all because of Christine. Gillian had never felt so stupid.
Alec stepped through the doorway and glared at her. "I'm shocked you're still here, Gillian," he spat. "Isn't Doctor Wonderful waiting for you down at Georgetown so that you two can show off in front of all of your fans?"
She was dumbstruck. Truly, literally dumbstruck. Her mouth fell open and she stumbled backwards a bit and gave a small gasp. Where the hell had that come from? "Alec, what are you talking about?" she tried. "I thought that we were…"
"Thought that we were what, Gill?" he interrupted. "That we would just stroll off hand in hand tonight, play the happy little married couple for all of your friends and that everything between us would be wonderful again? Is that what you thought?"
She didn't recognize this Alec. He was angry and irrational and defensive, and whatever had caused it obviously involved Cal as well, which confused her all the more. She doubted it was the drugs this time – his eyes weren't glassy or bloodshot. They were crystal clear, and staring at her with an intensity she had never seen.
"You're obviously angry with me, I can see that. But please," Gillian said, "tell me what caused it so that we can try and work through it together."
Alec stood in front of her, arms crossed tightly in front of his chest, and he began to laugh. It was a soft, snide little chuckle and it made her feel cold. She turned away from him then, crossed to the other side of the room to put as much distance between them as she reasonably could. She could feel his eyes on her, weighing his thoughts. And then he said it: "You talk in your sleep, Gill. Anyone ever tell you that?"
Gillian turned on her heel to face him again. "Excuse me?" she questioned. What in God's name did that have to do with anything?
"Last night," Alec began. He glared at her, eyes still narrowed, and began to approach her slowly. "After we talked for hours on end and decided to give this one last chance, you fell asleep in my arms, remember?"
He was inches from her now. His voice had grown softer, but his tone was still razor sharp. Gillian swallowed nervously, but didn't say a word. She knew he wasn't finished.
"You fell asleep in my arms," he continued, "and then you called his name in our bed."
Oh dear God. Gillian felt her face flame. Her breathing was ragged and her heart raced and she had absolutely no idea what to say next. Alec had always been jealous of Cal – she couldn't count the number of times she'd had to reassure him that they were just friends, and that's where the line was drawn. Just two friends who shared a mutual respect and a professional career, but nothing more. Alec had always doubted her… and now he always would.
And then he said it – the one comment that caused everything between them to shift. He looked her dead in the eyes, face inches from her own, and coldly whispered, "I would never have betrayed you, Gillian."
For a moment, she said nothing. She matched his gaze with her own, looking for any sign of the man she had once loved. But the longer she looked, the clearer everything became. She couldn't see that person anymore - and she was tired of pretending she could. His face told her everything she needed to know. She could read every single lie he had just packed into those seven short words… guilt, shame, rage, deceit – all of it was laid bare before her. Of course he had betrayed her. He'd done it with the drugs, with Christine, and with so many other countless lies that she had never bothered to see before now. How could she have been so blind?
Gillian seethed. Her breathing was ragged and her heart raced, and at that moment the only clear thought in her mind was the question of how she could ever have been so stupid as to think her marriage could be saved. "I have stood by and watched you betray me for years," she said. "You don't have the right to throw anything in my face, Alec, not after all I've done for you. "
Alec was unfazed. "Don't play the martyr, Gill," he spat. "It just makes you look desperate and pathetic."
She shook her head slightly and laughed, finally able to see their relationship from a clear perspective. "Nothing is ever enough with you, is it?" she asked rhetorically. "All these projects, all these late meeting and extra assignments… you take them all without so much as a second thought as to how it affects anyone else," she said. "And the truth is that you're happy with the way things are between us – you're happy keeping me on tenterhooks in while you're out playing with Christine."
Gillian was on a roll – and though he tried to interrupt her, she didn't allow it. She advanced on him, walking him backward toward the front door as she spoke. "I've worked so hard these past few years to finally get this far in my career," she continued, "and yet I'll always be second best in your eyes. You still don't respect me, and I don't think you ever will."
She was inches from him now, refusing to back down. Alec didn't even flinch - he stood silent and motionless, keeping his eyes locked with hers, his cold demeanor fueling the anger she felt.
Seconds passed, then minutes, and neither looked away. But as soon as Gillian began to doubt whether he would even acknowledge her comments, he played his trump card. "I don't know why I even try anymore," he seethed. "Because God knows nothing will ever be as important to you as that arrogant son of a bitch. Not even your own husband."
She blinked rapidly, feeling her eyes begin to water. And while she failed to fight back the tears, Alec's challenging stare had become a smug smile. It was all a power trip to him; he wanted to break her down in order to make himself feel stronger. It was a weak, pathetic move and it made her sick. And she knew that the only way to stop it was to refuse to play his game.
Gillian stared at him, still speechless, and watched his smile broaden until it reached his eyes. When it did, she realized that their past didn't matter anymore. She'd wasted so much time seeking his acceptance, trying to gain his respect, and none of it mattered. The truth had been in her heart for months - she had just been too blind to see it until now.
Her decision finally clear, she silently turned from him again and stole a quick glance at her reflection in the mirror that hung next to the front door. She wiped the last traces of tears from her face and finger combed her hair. Finally satisfied that she looked presentable, she hurried into the hallway and retrieved her bag from the hook near the closet door.
Alec was left staring after her, trying to piece together what had just occurred. This was not what he expected – Gillian had never walked away from him before. She had never completely shut him out, and he wasn't quite sure how to react.
"You're leaving?" he asked in disbelief.
She didn't turn back. "My colleagues are expecting me."
Her tone was steady and even, and the change in her demeanor caught him completely off guard. "I don't understand," he began. "Don't you think we should…"
"No," she interrupted, finally turning to face him. "I don't."
"But Gillian…?"
"You and I are very different people, Alec," she said. "We always have been. And I guess I've just been fooling myself for these past few months, thinking that we could make this work."
Alec shook his head in confusion. His eyes narrowed, and he tentatively stepped closer to her. "What exactly are you trying to say?" he finally asked.
Gillian smiled. She was completely relaxed. "I'm trying to say thank you," she answered. "Thank you for finally making me see it."
"See what?"
Her reply came quickly. "That I don't love you anymore."
And with that, she closed the door behind her, leaving only Alec's stunned silence in her wake.
