Title: Running off Empty
Authors Notes: I'm hoping to make this a good three or four part sequel that starts with Wilson's feelings after he had House take that risky operation to remember what happened to Amber, only in an alternate reality in which House has severe brain damage from the procedure--leaving Wilson to eventually care for him while grieving Amber too. I wanted to make this actually a lot longer, but I'm writing on another House project I'm more distracted on and I want to write it in this strange perspective all the way through. Anyways, feedback would be awesome--keeping in mind generally my main goal is to capture Wilson and House's realistic relationship and personalities. Hopefully more chapters to come. :)
It wasn't meant to be like this.
But what could you do.
What could I do.
The friend that was always there.
The man that was always there.
I wanted it to work
I wanted it to save her
I WANTED to touch her, to feel her, to talk to her again--just please, god see her--
If only if only--there was nothing else to be done...
...I had to do it
Listen to me. I had to do it
I had to see it through
"Before you warm her up...you said...you.... wanted to try deep brain stimulation."
It had to be done--listen to me, House. You have to do this. We have to save Amber.
"...But there's no reason, we know the symptom...we know what I saw."
"But what if...it's not the rash. What if you noticed the rash in the ambulance or when we put her on by-pass. What if there is still something else...stuck inside your head."
Piercing blue eyes staring back into mine. And I knew. I knew just like you did, the risks, the question. Before you opened your mouth, exhausted features and compelling gaze.
"You think I should risk my life...to save Amber's."
"......." I nod. "Yes."
And after a moment. Long and hard, I see it in your eyes still; so do you.
It was--necessary.
Once in my life I needed.
I needed
Her.
Amber. I was sure. I was so sure. I could almost touch it.
Very thoughts of her leaving left me in anguish, grasping, groping and digging inside me
Beyond help, beyond risk or hope
Her face, her body, her laugh--
Deep and unbred anger and guilt
House.
House save me.
Please. Please just once.
Save me.
".....Yes."
Just once give me this, House. Give me this. Please.
And--still. Still...
I knew you would. Without question, without doubt.
From the second you looked back at me. Your gaze finding, fixing on my own. Your words unspoken, but I can hear them. I mean...I still can. In every moment of these days.
Just as you nod your head and grab your cane. No words. No nothing except---now.
You could be dead. You could be dead right now.
But back then and even now somehow you were more important to me than anyone.
If you die, does this mean forever I'll never be able to let go, look back, ever say sorry? Do I lose you both?
You walk beside me; and I can smell the exhaustion; the draining of life right out of you
We could read each other, House--always like a game you and I played. Read every moment for what it was and what it wasn't.
I've never seen you this exhausted before
I've never seen you this broken
Words won't mean anything now not for either of us
Now that you're leaving your life for Ambers
For me
For us.
Chase objects, but he does what you say in a nod and a concerned look. Cuddy objects, but it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does.
You'll do it. And I'll watch as you fade away.
Desperate and alone and my mine reaching; grasping towards Amber's body...
Amber.
Amber...
The one relationship I've ever had outside of House that meant anything
The one thing I don't want to lose
Besides you.
"HE'S SEIZING! Get him out of there--!"