Stupidity to the… I dunno, REALLY BIG Power

BY IsaacHayessoulgirl (Jesikuh)

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(A/N:) Hey, everyone! Here we are in my third fan fic., (I know, I'm pathetic! XD) In this fan fic., we meet once again the beloved Sven Hoek! I'd been planning this for a while, but I got the idea for this forward one night when me and my boyfriend were hanging around when I asked if he knew why Sven was never in any more episodes. We had lots of theories like they didn't want to take the joke too far, or it was a one-time thing, or people were offended by it. But he said, "I think Sven was Ren's ticket to stay out of Hell." And this forward was born!

Recently on The Ren and Stimpy Show:

"You're an eediot."

"Thank heaven my cousin Sven ees coming to veeseet. I can hardly wait to have an eentellectual conversation weeth someone."

"Sven, get een here, you old yak yelder!"

"Eee…"

"Ah…"

"Ooh"

"Ee…"

"Waaahhhh…"

"You are my new friend, I share with you!"

"Hey, Ren, yer cousin is the coolest! We're lodgebrothers! We both belong to the Loyal Order of Stupids!"

"Ja, und now we show you our secret handshake!"

"I'm going to work! Don't do anything STYOOPID while I'm gone!"

"It's the funnest game in the whole wide world! "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU EEDIOTS!"

"Well, let's see how you like THEES!" *Unzips fur zipper, whizzes and laughs.*

*House explodes.*

*They stand in Hell before Satan, who points to Sven.* "So, you whizzed on the electric fence, didn'cha?"

"DON'T WHIZ ON THE E-LEC-TRIC FENCE!"

They all stood there, shaking. Satan sighed with impatience. "Look, I know you whizzed on the electric fence, which is a huge sin! I don't have time for thi. I'm supposed to torture a Michael Jackson guy in fifteen minutes, so hurry it up!"

"I did not do it!" Sven said, shaking violently. "Yeah, he didn't do it!" Defended Stimpy.

"Yes he deed!" Ren said, nodding. "He deed eet all right! He just pulled down hees… German theengy and let 'er reep!"

"Please, Mr. Devil," Stimpy said, hugging Sven to comfort him. "He's innocent!"

"Well, you have an honest face. But ya know what? How 'bout I look at all yer records? There are worse sins then whizzing on the electric fence, you know. Sound fair?"

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" They both said simultaneously. Ren gulped. Satan put on his reading glasses and skimmed through their files. "Well I'll be eternally damned! Mr. Hoke… I believe you should be here!"

"That's Ho-ek, you eediot! And what the hell are you talking about? I am a saint! THEY are the seeners, not I!"

"Well, let me see, Ren. You make fun of people's common interests, don't listen to your conscience, hit people any chance you get, you're thoughtless, and, according to the author of this fan fic, are the morbid, harsh and violent cartoon character she's ever seen, and now you're yelling at Satan. I really don't see any reason for you not to be here, Ren."

"Oh, come on! Can'chou look at their records, too?"

"Okie-dokie. Well, Stimply, it says here you're sweet, optimistic, and just about the greatest being alive, and same for you, Sven."

"Uh, my name's actually Stimpy-"

"Sorry, Ren, but I think you're stuck here for all eternity!"

"Wait, wait wait." He rapped his arm around Satan's shoulder and led him farther away. "Mr.-Mr., um… Satan, ees eet? Maybe you can spare me and my eediot friend here. Trust me, Sven ees good company . Steempy- you said he's a great help to society, correct?"

"Well… yes, but-"

"He needs my asseestances. You see, he needs help. He's not capable of whizzing on his own."

"Ren, whadder you doing?" Yelled Stimpy. "Shut up, you eediot! I'm trying to bargain!"

"But-"

"I said shuttup!"

"I'll take Sven's place! You and him be happy!" Ren bonked him on the head.

"You do drive a hard bargain, Ren. But I don't know."

"I'll throw een five bucks."

"Deal!" Ren picked up his cousin and handed him to Satan. "TAKE THE EEDIOT!"

"Ren, no!" Shrieked Stimpy. "Buh-bye now!" Satan zapped the home. But then the five bucks Ren had given him set on fire. "Aw,"

Ren let out a deep and relieved sigh. "Glad that's overweeth! Steempy, go feex my deenner." Stimpy had tears in his eyes. "Ren… how could'jou do that to your own cousin? You should be ashamed!" Anger laced his voice. "Shut up, you. You're lucky I deedn't leave you there too."

"Ya know what, Ren? I'm a little sick of your selfishness!"

"I'll geeve you five seconds to start my deenner." Stimpy's face turned pink and he kicked Ren hard in the crotch. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Four and a half seasons and an Adult Party Cartoon later…

Sven was running around Hell dressed like a fireman, putting out the fires of Hell with a bucket of water. "STOP! YOU IDIOT, YOU'RE IN HELL!"

"But it's on fire!"

"OF COURSE IT'S ON FIRE, YOU TWIT, IT'S HELL! WHERE ARE YOU EVEN GETTING WATER?" But Sven wouldn't listen. "That's it! Get the hell out of my Hell!" He zapped him back to Earth. "I need to attend therapy."

The phone rang. "Ren and Stimpy's house, Stimpy speaking. Oh my god! HI Sven! We hafta catch up! Come over next week and stay for a month? Sounds wonderful! Ren'll be thrilled! Okay! See ya then! 'Bye!" He hung up the phone. "Hey Ren!"

(A/N): So was I good? I hope you enjoy the rest! I don't wanna disappoint, but there's no yaoi in this one. I hope you enjoy it anyway!