A/N: This is just utter silliness that I came up with late one night. The real lyrics belong to T-Pain (in fact I suggest listening to the song to get a better feel for the lyrics, although Mike Jones' part isn't in here) and I just took them out to play with Charlene Harris' sexiest vamp. Also, I'm totally not a lyricist at all, so if there's too many syllables (or not enough) in any particular line, my bad. Otherwise, enjoy! Also, the song is from Sookie's POV.

Goddamn Gracious Plenty!
You know you thick as hell you know what I'm sayin'
Matter fact
After first dark you know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Me and my friends gone be together you know what I'm sayin'
I ain't gon' worry 'bout them really though
I'm just lookin' at you
Yeah you know
You got them big ass fangs goddamn!

[Verse 1]

Got the body of a Viking
Got eyes clear ocean blue I see you vamp
Droppin' low
He comin' down from the sky
To the ground
Yeah he know what he doin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
He doin' that right thang
Yeah yeah yeah
I need to get him over to my crib and do that night thang
Cuz I'm in love wit a vampire

[Chorus x2]
He poppin', he bitin', he suckin'
He usin' his pole and
I'm in love with a vampire
He thrustin', he comin', he comin'
I'm not goin' nowhere vamp I'm stayin'
I'm in love with a vampire

[Verse 2]

Out of all the vamps he be the hottest
Likin' the way he break it down I see you vamp
Flyin' high
And he lookin' at me
Right in my eyes
Yeah he got my attention
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Did I forget to mention
I need to get him over to my crib and do that night thang
Cuz I'm in love wit a vampire

[Chorus x2]
He poppin' he bitin' he suckin'
He usin' his pole and
I'm in love with a vampire
He thrustin' he comin' he comin'
I'm not goin' nowhere vamp I'm stayin'
I'm in love with a vampire

[Verse 3]

He can pop it he can suck it
Charlene Harris down I'm bout to see this sexy vamp
In my bed
He don't know what he is doin'
To my head
Yeah he turnin' tricks on me
Yeah, yeah, yeah
He don't even know me
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I'd have got him over to my crib to do that night thing
Cause I'm in love with a vampire

[Chorus x4]
He poppin' he bitin' he suckin'
He usin' his pole and
I'm in love with a vampire
He thrustin' he comin' he comin'
I'm not goin' nowhere vamp I'm stayin'
I'm in love with a vampire

A/N: So I lied about Mike Jones' piece. It's here but I don't like it, I couldn't get some of the lines to work. I threw it in for fun, mostly. It's kinda sucky, so don't hate! Also, check out the two links on my profile. Fun Alexander Skarsgard stuff.

He's every woman's dream

He's gods gift to earth

Vamps they love him too

That's what you call a vampire's worth

See, I love all Supes

Because they show me no thoughts

They know I never pay, it's free

Whenever I hit the club

But I can't even lie

The vamp here's so fly

His hand slidin' up and down his pole

Got me mesmerized

Sookie Stackhouse don't ever trick

But goddamn, he's thick

I can't lie, I must admit