Chapter 1: A New Beginning
Disclaimer: I do not ow Star Wars in any way, Lucas is the real genius.
She stood outside facing the setting sun of the beach. Her garments where worn and she bared no weapon for the first time in quiet a while.
Reven was finally at peace, or so she thought, but more truthfully, wanted to believe. Her stomach was now full with the eight month of her child, she soon would be giving birth to a baby that she feared would bring back the memories that she so desperately wanted to be rid of. The pain of the war, the death, the betrayal, and the love.
" Carth..." she thought. "The man who caused me so much pain...wanted me to love...made me to love...and hate at the same time."she could feel the anger and rage boiling within her, " How could he !" she thought to herself. It had been so hard for her to let go of the past. a past that had so much promise and happiness. Something that she rarely saw, and yet that happened to turn to pain just as the rest of her life. Why was she so surprised at that the fact that it had happened. She was Revan, Sith lord and the rescurer of the Republic. She knew better than anybody that not one thing can stay the same for too long. " But this was supposed to be different."
Her mind started to go back to when the war was at its climax. She could see herself on the Star Forge fighting the Dark Jedi, and her companions right by her side. whom
one happened to be Carth. She remembered everything, and when he told her that he loved her. Those words had made her stonger, gave her more of a will to fight, gave her a reason to live on even though she had suffered more pain than most have suffered in a lifetime. She remembered beating Malak in the fight for the galaxy and winning by one push in the Force.And yet these are not the memories that haunt her,she dreads to remember what comes next. the life after the battle,the real war.
Her mind starts to drift to a familiar planet, Dantooine. She saw herself on the top of a hill overlooking the world that had been completely destroyed by the war. All of this was her doing. The Jedi Enclave was piles of rubble,the people on the planet were always in a panic that something like this would happen again. She knew that her duty was to stay and mend whatever she could. She needed to make the world that she once knew as close as to what it was before. Her friends where here to help her. Carth somehow knew what she was thinking.
"What's wrong beautiful?" he asked her with his arms around her shoulders and his chin on her head. Even though Carth was no jedi he gave her a sense of protection, calming, or maybe just the feel of a man you love. Whatever, Reven felt secure and happy for the longest time.
"How could all of this have happened?" she asked " How could one person, even Malak,cause so much pain?" Revan asked wanting to find an answer to all the mysteries of the galaxy.
"It wasn't Malak that caused this." said Carth " It was the Dark Side, Malak was only a pawn in the Dark Side's plan. And in the end it destroyed him. The dark side heads to no one. In the end you will be destroyed or only changed. And to some the dark side was a way to your destiny,like you Revan." Carth looked down and smiled at her his brown eyes gazing at her. " And besides," Carth stated " If it hadn't been for the whole jedi war we would never have met." He leaned in and kissed her so gently that everything that had happend in that last year seemed to never have been.
"Carth..." Revan started " You sound so Jedi- like, are you sure that you're not force sensitive."
"Positive." He remined her "And even if I was, I don't want to know." He started to laugh that laugh of mockery. Then a terrible thought came to her.
"Carth, Jedi are not suppose to love." she said with a concerned look on her face.
" There also not suppose to go against there teachings and raise a Sith armada to destroy the Republic,but that didnt stop you now did it?" Carth asked with a smirk on his face. He saw how Revan wasn't amused so he came back with a quick rush of compassion. " Everything happens for a reason Revan, and our love is one of them. Don't worry, if you don't trust in anything else, trust in us, in our love. Everythings going to be okay from now on, I'll always take care of you Revan. Always."
" How could I believe that?" Revan drifted back to the shores of Rakata ,the waves beeting on her ankles.She stared into the ocean,she could feel and smell the ocean breeze. And in the corner of her eye she saw the signs of rain clouds and lightning struck. This might just be the strom of the season.
She remembered that morning, the day he left her. Rain clouds similar to this hung overhead, she woke up that morning not feeling the best. She actually hadn't for the whole intire week.She was sick with something and she had no clue what. She woke up to find that Carth wasn't snoring beside her as she was used to. "Somethings not right." Revan thought to herself as she got out of bed. She heard some comotion coming from the front of the house. She walked outside to find all of Carth's belongings being loaded on a ship she didn't recognize." Whats going on?" She searched desperately for Carth and found him talking to someone she didn't know. As she came closer she found out that it was another woman.
"Carth what's going on?" Carth turned to see Revan standing behind him with a confused face.
" Carth we need to be going, the faster we leave the better. I'll be in the ship waiting for you." The woman didn't even glance at Revan, she turned and headed striaght for the unknown ship. They girl was about the same age as Revan. and also looked like she could be a dancer in a local cantina. All Revan could do was fear the worst. But Carth was better than that. If he was going to leave her at least he would do it in style. He wasn't like the other men who just got up and tried to sneak out before the woman could wake up. Or was he?
"Carth please tell me whats going on, why are you leaving?" Carth took in a heavy sigh and finally gathered enough courage to talk to her.
"Revan we need to talk. I have to leave you. I know that's it real sudden for you, but a man has to do what a man has to do, I hope you understand."
Revan could feel the rage, confusion, betrayal, anger stirring up in her. All the emotions from the first time that he said he loved her to the time he made a promise of commitment. All of that proved false now and all these feelings turned into hatered.
"No Carth, I don't understand, I don't understand a lot of things. But I do understand the Code of the Jedi, and it clearly states than Jedi arn't supposed to love. This was my fault, I should have stopped everything when we where in the Jedi Civil War. It's too late now. You do what you need to do and I'll do what I need to do." Revan turened away and headed back to the house. Right before she entered the house she heard a voice call to her.
"Good-bye Revan, maybe I'll see you soon." said Carth
The tears started to flow down her cheeks. She closed the house door immediately. She couldn't let Carth see her like this. She had to get out of the house and go somewhere else. She couldn't let Carth see her, ever again.
Revan gathered all her belongings and headed to the one person that she could trust always, a companion in war, a council in times of pain, but most importantly, her best friend.
" Bastila, Bastila it's me Revan, open the door." Bastila was in the middle of her meditation when the distrubance breached her consentration.
" Revan?" Bastila rushed to the door wondering what could have brought her here at such a time. When she opened the door the sight that she saw was not the war hero that so recently saved the Republic. It was a woman that had been wondering in the storms. Looking for a place to stay.
" Bastila, I''m sorry to disturb you, but can I stay with you for a while?" Revan asked
"Revan, what happened?" Bastila asked in utter bewilderment, " Why are you out here in the cold storm, where is Carth?"
At that point Revan could not hold back the tears any longer. Enormous amounts of sobs poured out of her, she barely had enough breath to tell Bastila what had happened.
"He left Bastila, I woke up this morning and had the pleasure of seeing him enter a ship with some woman I dont know. He said that he had to leave, and that a man has to do what a man has to do. Bastila it was all my fault, I shouldn't have let myself believe the lies he told me. I'm a Jedi... I should have known better."
Bastila took her in her arms and held her tight. She could feel the sobs soaking her clothes. " Revan it wasn't your fault in any way, He's a man that played with the one weakness of a woman...her heart. This wasn't your fault that you fell in love. and of course you can stay here."
Revan felt a rush of relief. Maybe everything was going to be okay after all. Revan got her stuff and settled into an empty room. She went in ate her breakfast and sat down to talk to Bastila about the details. Told her the whole story from top to bottom. Bastila analized her situation and gave her pearls of wisdom.
"Looks like there might be s chance that he'll come back, I think the best thing to so is stay and wait a while, Carth is not like that, he must be hiding something. let's just give it time." Revan also felt that this was the best plan of action. She knew that Bastila was wise in these things "But..." The sound stopped Revans chain of thought," Let's find out what you have thats making you sick all of a sudden, It will be good for you when we know."
Bastila took all her medical tools out and started to examine Revan. When she was done she had the results.
" So what is it?" asked Revan, " Is it a rare disese?"
"No..." replied Bastila
" A bug thats going around?" she asked
" Nope..."
" Wookie-anitus?" Revan was becoming desperate
" Your not sick..." said Bastila " ... your pregnant."
Revan couldn't believe it. Pregnant, with Carth's child. The man that had left her that very morning,now she held his kid. Great!
"Well Bastila, it can't possibly get any worse." Revan was now convinced that anything else that happened to her could only get better. Now she just hoped for the best,and hopefully the best would come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Revan stayed with Bastila for a few weeks, and each day she grew more depressed. She dragged on with housework that she didn't need to do. She barely left the house,and when she did rumor spread quickly, almost everyone on Dantooine knew that she was pregnant. She stopped eating food and started to feed of the Force, which in normal circumtances would be okay, but since she way pregnant it would be a danger to her and the baby. Bastila knew that there was only one solution to the problem, they had to leave Dantooine. The only problem was to convince Revan to go, and where to go.
"Revan it's about time we left, Dantooine isn't good for you. You still feel that pain." Bastila started to say at the breakfast table.
" Bastila, I'm fine, really." Revan started to reply
"No your not, I can feel in in the Force and the depression gets deeper and deeper with each passing day. Revan I'm your best friend, I know these things."
"How can you be so wise Bastila, you can see inside me, How?" asked Revan
" You underestimate my power, Revan." Bastila replied
" You know I really hope that no Jedi turning to the Dark Side says that while fighting a foe that happened to be the most beloved person he knows over a firey volcanic planet." said Revan
" Why would you say something like that Revan?" asked Bastila
" No reason, anyway back to more important matters. Where would we go?"
"How about Mannan?" asked Bastila
" We were band from ever returning, remember." said Revan
"Kashykk?" asked Bastila
" Beautiful in the day time, stench of the jungle in the night time." said Revan
" Korriban?" asked Bastila
" You crazy?" replied Revan
"Rakata." said Bastila
" Well..." started Bastila
" C'mon Revan, you love it there and its a great place to raise kids. The sandy beaches, blue skys, great breeze." Bastila tried to persway her
"Okay when do we leave?" asked Revan
" Today if you want." said Bastila
" But where would we live?" asked Revan
"You know that temple that we went to before we arrived at the Star Forge?" asked Bastila
"Yes what about it?" asked Revan
"Well with a few credits, some serious Dark Side purging, and some desining touch-ups, Its been made to a very comfortable home." replied Bastila "All you have to do is pack your things and we'll be off."
" I'm on it!" Revan dashed to her room to start and pack her belongings. As she stood there and gathered everything into her small trunk. She saw the hill where they first kissed " Carth...its as over as over can be...but I feel that where not done...its not over."
" Revan, are you ready to go?" asked Bastila
" Ready." Revan threw the last of her belongings into her trunk and headed out the door with Bastila. Leaving Dantooine and all memories of Carth forever.
On there way there Revan could only think about her situation and tried to forget the past, When they arrived the smell of the beach and cool breeze immediately calmed her. She was home and now she could more easily forget the past and consentrate more on the future.
" You can't forget the past Revan only time can heal the wound you have." said Bastila
" Please stop reading my mind." replied Revan in an irritated voice
" Next time have your guard up, your a Jedi, you should know better." said Bastila
" I should have known better on a lot of things, but I didn't." said Revan
" No amount of training can stop you from being a woman, don't think about him anymore. Think about you, your life on Rakata, and this child..."
" And you are doing just that." Revan turned to see Bastila coming up the hill towards her. The storm drew closer.
" Revan what did I tell you about having your guard up? and what are you doing up here when there is a storm coming on the way? Your almost due to have this baby you can't get yourself sick in any way."
" Was I wrong Bastila to think that he would come back?" asked Revan
" No, you where in love, there is nothing wrong on that, he was wrong."
"Thank you for being there for me Bastila, for everything."
"Yes, well one of has to be the sane one, thats what best friends are for right?"
" You suggested that we live on Korriban, that doesn't sound very sane to me."
"Well that was different, it was reverse-phycology, but first things first, let's get you inside." Revan and Bastila walked back to the house as the clouds began to hover overhead.
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Bastila went to the meditation room to meditate on the matters at had and to seek answers through the Force
" Yes I can feel it in the Force..." Bastila was deep into the Force now " This child has great significance in the fate of Revan...Yes, for by her will or not...through this child...she and Carth will meet again."