A/N First and foremost: IBIKI NEEDS MORE LOVE! I don't know what people's problems are. He's funny, strong, sexy, got a past with great potential, and Kishi hasn't ruined him yet. I'm ashamed of you all. I'd have written more, sooner, but Ibiki's just such a hard guy to read into. I did read a great story that went into him (and Kakashi) last night however, called Cat and Mouse by Sakiku. You should try it.
Another quick note: I'm planning a chapter fic based around Ibiki's past. If any of you other Ibiki fans out there could make suggestions it would be nice to hear others' opinions. (BTW, while I'm thinking about it: I didn't post this in Century because Ibiki needs all the fics he can get, and like my other Ibiki fic which is hidden in Century it would never get noticed. I need to go and move that fic out of Century some time...)
I SUPPORT NO-PAIRING IBIKI!
Anyways, the last two lines are actually edited versions of an old Neji fic I started a few months back in which I killed off team Gai. I think they work just as well for Ibiki though, especially when I involve the genin team I created for him. Anyways, enjoy. I really wanted to go into the more unstable side of Ibiki; the side that isn't the untouchable rock of coolness we all know and love today.
T w i c e
Ibiki never told his team just how much he loved them.
Ibiki wishes he had.
Sometimes at night he'll wake up screaming in memories of agony, clutching his blankets his chest.
On nights like these he remembers how wonderful it used to feel, to have Yanoko-sensei holding him to his chest; how the twins' bandaged hands on his own had made him feel so safe.
It's only on nights like this that he feels ugly.
Ibiki can remember exactly how he received every scar on his body; his captor had made sure of that.
The small one on his back, against his right hip, that had been one of the last ones, only hours before rescue had come.
That jagged scar on the inside of his wrist, from when the man had just stuck the kunai in his vein and pulled up.
That scar was from when Hota had still been alive.
Once, when Ibiki was being questioned, he'd screamed for help.
The man only laughed.
Ibiki never screamed again.
Pain is something Ibiki understands on such a fundamental level some people cannot even grasp what it means.
Ibiki would like to show them.
Recovery, that's what they'd called it, his months in and out of the hospital, ANBU trailing him so closely it was obvious they were following him, even to the watching civilians.
They'd asked what he'd told the enemies, and when he'd said he hadn't told them anything, they only asked again.
Ibiki couldn't help but wonder how a village that only ever asked could have survived so long.
Twice in his life Ibiki cried.
Once he cried when they'd finally shoved their hands into Hota's chest, had finally let the blind girl crumple to the ground in a pool of blood.
The man had laughed harder.
Ibiki swore he'd never cry again.
For months after returning to Konoha Ibiki barely spoke, only wandered aimlessly until he was again cleared for missions.
Within a month Ibiki had made chuunin.
Another and he'd made special jounin.
It was only after a mission on which they'd sent him with a team that they finally discovered just how he was getting such perfect return rates.
Ibiki wasn't a killer, he was an interrogator.
There was a difference.
Ibiki's mission clearance was recalled that same day, and within a week he was back in the hospital, and the ANBU were at it again, and the boy started having nightmares.
Twice they had Yamanaka Inoichi look into his mind.
The first time Inoichi doubled over to his knees and puked.
Ibiki only laughed.
The second time Inoichi looked deeper, poking and prodding until it was Ibiki on the floor.
Ibiki only laughed harder.
Inoichi was out of office within the year, retiring to light jounin duties so that he could finally spend more time with his team.
Ibiki never admitted to himself he was jealous.
Even now he can still remember the pain; the excruciating pain inflicted to his body, but also how much it hurt to feel his mind finally break.
Ibiki's mind broke twice.
The second time Ibiki's mind broke it was with Inoichi's careful touch, when the Yamanaka had rebroken the bones so that he could set them in their right places and have them heal as they should.
At the time Ibiki had only laughed.
The first time Ibiki broke he was only a genin, only a near-crippled genin doubled over in bed, blood soaking the crisp white sheets.
He's had a nightmare.
He'd dreamed that they were alive again and that he wasn't so ugly; that they were holding his hands and dragging him down the street so that they could train just like they always had.
The young boy covered his head in blankets and grabbed his knees to his chest.
Ibiki cried.