Dear diary,
Puck has once again screwed things up. I don't know how he does it; I have never seen any other person mess up nearly as much as he does. Of all the things he could have messed up this is the worst. Yes I had a daughter with a human, it's a well-kept secret I do believe, and puck was supposed to make sure she was safe and she did not know about our world. His orders were beyond simple, an idiot could do it well, but he failed me in this. I don't want to ruin another child's life by taking them into this magical land that will in the end destroy them to the point where they will never be the same if they even survive. I have had to detach myself from my children, after the first few I realized that if I didn't it would destroy me. My wife has given me no children, I'm just surprised she hasn't had any bastard children yet, with all her sleeping around and such. This child in particular caught my heart the most; she has her mother's blue eyes and my silvery hair. From the moment I saw her I was in love, it was instantaneous and irrevocable.
I knew that if she even had the slightest hint of her true heritage she would be ripped to pieces by the nobles, all questing to get higher in the hierarchy, even at the expense of an innocent child. I wanted so badly to hold her in my arms and be the doting father that I could be given the chance. Titiana was furious, had the threat of my revenge not hung over her head she would have murdered my child and the human mother of my child. The human father was not under my protection and Titiana planned a horrible plan to kill the man. He was a good man, and he raised Meghan well, he made her happy, protected her as if she was his own. In a way he was more of her father than I was, and he believed fully that she was his own flesh and blood. I do not really hate mortals and I could not hate this man any more than I could hate Puck at the end of the day when all was said and done. Puck convinced the dark muse to take him as one of her human pets, luckily he was a talented piano player and the dark muse decided that this was an offer that she just could not refuse. A listless human devoid of all memories of their previous life save vague recollections was far better than a slow painful death at the hands of my wife. He deserved better, and I knew that either way he would have to leave his wife and my daughter, the thing that stung the most was knowing what it would do to the child to lose the man she called her father. He was taken on her sixth birthday at a park, Puck waited until Meghan went to get ice-cream from the iron truck, then he had him walk into the little pond where a trod was located that led to the muses domain.
I held her only once, and that was right after her human father was taken, I just wanted to check on her to see if Puck had done the right thing. I had expected a slight sadness and melancholy, I thought she was too young to understand the concept of death, that she would move on easily and get over it. They were living in a nice house, it had the feeling of warmth and love; Meghan's pictures were hung on a large bulky device in the kitchen, toys were spread through the living room, shoes by the door looking as though they were kicked off in a hurry. Pictures were propped up on the mantle, most were of Meghan, a few family portraits and on the walls were countless paintings of every kind. One caught my eye that I clearly recognized. It was of me as I had appeared to the human woman, tall, regal, silver hair shining brightly. I was wearing kingly looking robes and my pointed ears were just barely visible behind my hair. In my arms I held a child, no more than 3 years old, bright blue eyes and hair nearly identical to mine. It showed a close relationship between father and daughter, one of those unbreakable bonds that only a father and daughter can share; one that we would never have. I went to her bedroom and found her asleep on her bed. Her face was red and stained by tears and I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and grief rolling off of her in waves. She whimpered in her sleep and the only thing I could think to do to help her was to go over to her and hold her close. Her whimpering stopped and she relaxed in my arms. I stroked her hair that was identical to mine and she nuzzled into my chest and with one hand gripped my tunic, the other tangled into my hair.
At that moment I wanted to steal her away, I wanted to make her my daughter, a princess. I forgot what could happen to her if she was a part of the summer court. I wanted more moments like this, the moments every father lived for. I didn't care if she was a bastard child, half human and raised her whole life to be human, she was mine. Titiana got to do whatever she wished and I never took her joy away, would she not allow me this one bright ray of warmth and happiness in my life. Even Mab had her sons to love and dote upon, I always envied her for that, the fact that she can experience the joys of parenthood and I would never be able to. How could she be so cold when she had this warmth that I would never know? I then remembered how if I got this feeling just from holding her for this short time, I could only imagine the pain her mother would feel if she lost her only child, so soon after losing her husband. I had to force myself to put her down as the first rays of light gleamed over the horizon. I kissed her forehead once and let a single tear fall down my cheek and land on her forehead where my lips had just touched.
I had sung her the lullaby that my own mother had sung to my when I still but a child. I tucked her into her bed like parents do to their children when they're still young. I promised myself that I would try not to disrupt her life anymore. Puck was to be her constant guardian, always by her side and never far away. I told him she was to know nothing of our world; she was to be a normal happy human, no magic involved. I left her then, if I didn't detach myself I would never be able to leave her, but now the life I had worked to maintain is broken. Puck cared too much, as I did, only he never detached himself from her, he gave into her.
I knew the moment I saw him run into the court, red hair tangled and full of leaves, arms and legs cut and bruised that something had gone wrong. If he was here, she was dead or she had discovered our world.
As I listened to him I could only sit there and put on the mask of indifference. No one there could read my emotions; no matter how hard they try they can never do it. Titiana was furious; the nobles were shocked, I just wondered if maybe she would perhaps have some spark of unconscious recognition in seeing me, her real father. The knights guided her into the throne room, I had turned puck into a raven out of sheer anger that he had ruined the perfect life that I had tried to create for her. All of this wasted for a little human that my daughter cared about for some reason, a human that she had to save, and one that would die before she would.
As she gave me a clumsy curtsy, seeming intimidated by me in my throne, not seeing a father but a ruthless faery king who could possibly have taken her human. Puck never told her of me, she still believed the human man was her father, and as I saw her, I also saw a bit of me.
Her hair was still a silvery blonde, eye color blue like her mothers, she had a look of determination, and her ears had finally become pointed. Her clothes were torn and dirty and all she had was a bag on her back. She looked defiant, and as I told her I was her father, she denied it, denied it with a fiery passion. She had no memories what so ever of me.
Later that night I went to her room and as she sat there I hummed the lullaby my mother had sung to me, one of the few things that brought me comfort still. It was the same one I had sung to her all those years ago. When I finished I saw her looking at me tears in her eyes, "How do you know that lullaby?" She asked me.
I looked back at her "how do you know it Meghan Chase?" I asked in turn, my eyes impassive and dull.
"I-it's a song that I remember from when I was little, I always thought my dad had sung it to me, but mom said that he never sang or played anything like that. It always made me feel better when things were going bad." The last part was nearly whispered.
"It was a lullaby my mother sang to me, once upon a time, she would hold me in her arms and sing it to me whenever I cried, and nearly ten years ago I held my daughter in my arms and sang it to her when she cried." I told her, looking at her carefully gauging her face for any signs of recognition.
"It was you that night then, it wasn't a dream." She stated, looking at me like she had the revelation of a lifetime.
I felt the tears sting at my eyes, and with one wave of my hand I made her forget. She would never know about this, it would stay my secret once again. As her head hit the pillow, I decided I would replace that conversation with another one, one that she would get nothing from that would hint that I favored her any more than I had those before her. She would never fully know how special she was, how I had sent my best to protect her.
This daughter was different, she was stronger than the others, and I knew without a doubt that she would make her mark on history, she was my daughter after all.