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"I think I'm breaking out
I'm gonna leave you now
There's nothing for me here, it's all the same
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here, I'm not afraid"
Emma's POV
"WHAT!" a voice yells from down the hallway. It's a girls chilling voice, very loudly and you can tell that she's mad.
"Lexxi…don't cause a scene. I think it's for the best." A man's voice follows hers. It's deep and kind of scratchy.
"Don't you Lexxi me. Jerk. Rot in hell." She yells as I turn around. "Emma Nelson, just the girl I wanted to see." Alex grabs my shirt and throws me up against a locker with her fist in my face.
"Alex, stop it." Jay's voice says loudly. "If you hit her, I'll kill you. Take your hands off of her."
"You're lucky." She says in a very pissed off tone. "Very lucky. Watch your back Nelson."
"Sorry about that Emma. I had to tell her." Jay says to me in a soothing voice as he puts his hand on my lower back.
"Don't touch me, don't talk to me. Don't do anything that has to do with me. Don't look at me. I hate you." I say sharply as I turn around and slam my locker door.
"Letting out the noise inside of me (Letting out the noise inside of me)
Every window pane is shattering (Every window pane is shattering)
Cutting up my words before I speak (Cutting up my words)
This is how it feels to not believe"
Jay's POV
I let myself into my house. There's no one home, as usual. I'm the only who really lives here. I guess in a couple of weeks Darcy will too, once her dad and my mom get married. I walk over to the refrigerator to get a drink of something. A note is stuck under the stupid magnet that says "Look what Jayson did!"
"Jayson, I went out to make some final wedding plans with Daniel. Darcy will be coming over later to drop off some of her stuff, be polite to her. There's lasagna in the fridge if you get hungry. I'll be home at about 8. I love you, Mom." I read out loud. "She's such a liar." I say to no one in particular.
I open the fridge and there's nothing in there. I guess I'll just have water. The doorbell rings loudly and it's off key. As I walk to the door I take my hat off and stick it on the hook. I kick my back pack out of the way and answer the door.
"Oh. Hi Darcy, come on in. Do you need help?" I ask her as I look into her eyes. It looks like she's been crying.
"Um, no thanks. It's just this one box, and then I'll leave. I'm sorry to be intruding like this." She says, her voice is shaky and she sounds like she wants to die.
"What's wrong Darcy? If I can ask."
"Um, it's just Chester. I thought that he liked me but he liked Manny…whatever."
"Chester? That freak? Don't get all hyped up about him. There are guys at our school that are like, 10 times better. Anyways, have you seen his mole?" I say trying to make her laugh. She lets out a little chuckle.
"Yeah, I'm going to leave now, I'm meeting some friends at the dot. See you later." She said as she lets herself out the door and waves.
"How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you, things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away"
Sean's POV
I just moved back. Ellie was just a little too happy for me to be home. I can hardly stand her right now. I left to get away from everyone giving me attention. And now she's smothering me. It's really annoying. I need to leave this house.
"El, I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later." I say loud enough for her to hear. I walk out of the door and let it slam before I can hear her response. As I walk down the street I keep thinking about Emma.
"Sean!" A high girls voice calls out to me. At first I think it's Ellie, but Ellie's voice doesn't sound like that. "Sean!" the voice calls again. I turn around to see Emma.
"Hey Emma, what's up?" I ask her as I squint against the sunlight.
"Who cares about me? You're back!" She says so excitedly. Like she's wanted me to come back to Degrassi.
"Emma, why are you so happy to see me? I knew Ellie would be, but I thought you'd be mad." I say to her as a smile creeps across my face.
"Why would I be mad? We're friends again. And…school hasn't been the same with out you." Emma says to me, still grinning from when I first said hi. Then her smile turns to a frown.
"What's wrong Emma?" I ask her as she turns around and starts walking away. "Em, wait up!" I start following her but a voice comes from behind me.
"She won't come back, I'm here. I guess she's pissed cause she's a slut now and it's my fault or whatever." The voice says. I turn around and see Jay.
"Hey man, what's up?"
"Nothing, so are you back for good? Or for a temporary visit?"
"I'm back to stay. What do you mean about Emma being a slut?" I say to him as my face turns from a smile to a frown.
"Nothing, just some stuff in the ravine or whatever."
"Right. What stuff in the ravine?"
"Nothing dude, it's history now. Don't worry about it."
"Ok…well Jay, I have to get back to my house so I can do something about Ellie. I can't stand her anymore. I'll talk to you at school." I say to him as I turn around and walk away.
"If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away"
Emma's POV
Dear Diary,
I was on a walk when I saw Sean. He's back for good, I think and hope. I don't feel like I can talk to him about what happened with Jay. It's too hard. I want him to know though. Sean and I were talking when Jay came up, I had to leave. I couldn't be around him. I hate Jay so much, but I like him. Do you understand? Never mind, diaries aren't people, they're just people. Oh well…that's all for now. Emma.
I finished writing in my diary and the phone started ringing, then Jack was crying. I scream to myself and answer the phone as I walk up the stairs to get Jack.
"Hello? Oh hi Manny, nope I'm babysitting Jack. Dang…I wish I could hang out. I don't want to be stuck here anymore. A party? Tonight? Probably. Yeah, I wanna go, sure, at seven? See you then." I hang up with her as I pick up Jack.
"Hey buddy. You're ok…Emmie has you. Don't worry." I say in a soothing voice as the phone rings again.
"Hello? Jay…leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you. No…no…I guess. Yes, tomorrow. Ok bye." I sigh as I hang up the phone. "I wish you were older then me Jack, so you could give me advice on what to do."
I walk downstairs with Jack in my arms and plop him into his high chair. I pour a few cheerios on his tray and pull out my homework. For some reason I cannot concentrate. I just keep thinking about Jay. He's so cute, especially without his hat on. I scream as the doorbell rings. I run to the door to answer it.
"Oh hi mom." I say to her as I open the door. "Manny invited me to a party, may I go?" I ask her hoping she'd say yes. She hadn't let me do much since I got the STD.
"I don't see why not. You haven't been out lately, sure you can go." She says a little preoccupied.
I feel like dancing inside my head. She never let me do anything, and now she is! I walk downstairs in a very happy mood.
"Hmm…what to wear, what to wear." I say to myself. "Too many clothes, so little time." I laugh at my own stupid comment. I search through my closet looking for something to wear, anything. I pull out a white skirt and a pink halter top. "I think this will suffice." I say out loud and pick out some white shoes.
"We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend"
Sean's POV
After seeing Emma and Jay today, I had to get home. Ellie was calling my cell phone every two minutes, wanting to know where I was. Then I got a text message, "Sean…where are you? I'm worried…you left and you haven't come back yet." I read out loud. "Ok, whatever." I say as I start walking in the direction of my house.
I'm so sick of Ellie always suffocating me, telling me that she loves me every two seconds, just to keep me at home. But I don't WANT to be with her anymore. She acts like she'll die if I'm not around.
"Ellie, we need to talk." I say loudly as I close the door as to not let the cold air in. "It's important."
"What is it honey?" She asks coming out of the kitchen. I hadn't actually seen her since I got back, and I look at her. She's not Ellie Nash anymore, she's a Paige Michalchuk clone.
"What are you wearing?" I ask her as I look her up and down. "What the hell is this? You're not Ellie, you're Paige now."
"I thought you'd like it. I mean…every other guy at school does." Ellie looks me in the eyes, pouting a little bit. Her red hair clashes with her pink skirt so badly. But only I can tell. She probably wishes she was blonde. So she could be Ellie/Paige.
"I'm not every other guy." I sigh loudly running over what to say in my head. "Ellie, we need to break up. This isn't working for me."
"But honeybee." She says, using a cheesy pet name. Only Paige does that, she is Ellie/Paige now, no longer Ellie Nash.
"Don't use that stupid pet name. I don't want to be your honeybee." I say getting angry and starting to yell. "I DON'T WANT YOU LIVING HERE ANYMORE. I JUST WANT YOU OUT!" I yell as she takes a step back.
"Sean, you're scaring me…please stop." She says softly, trying to soothe me with her stupid Paige talk.
"NO. GET OUT. GO LIVE WITH ASHLEY OR SOMETHING. JUST LEAVE!" I yell as she begins to cry. I walk away and slam the door to my room. I can't stop pacing around as I hear her sobbing outside my door.
"Sean, why? Why!" she says to the door. "Why!"
"Just pack your stuff El, get out…if I leave this room, you'll be sorry." I say as I lay down on my bed. "I can't stand this." I say to myself as I turn on my stereo full blast. The bass of the rock song pounds through the walls and my neighbor hits the wall, I ignore him.