Outline: This is a collection of "missing moments" based on the development of the relationship between Han and Leia. Every chapter can be considered a separate issue, so you just have to choose your favourite moment!
Luke and D-3BO help Leia to throw light on her own feelings, even if in totally different ways.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, but are George Lucas's property; this story hasn't been written for profit.
CHAPTER 5: Uncovered cards
LEIA
Since everything had gone back to normal, she'd done nothing but have that dream. Every night, she relived her last moments spent with Han: the golden light in his eyes, the plea to his Wookiee friend for him to take care of her, the uncontrollable impulse to kiss him and confess all her feelings to him… Then the darkness of the carbonite, the coolness of the hibernation, the silence of stillness.
Poor Han, I wonder how much you're suffering because of me.
But he hadn't died, he was strong and had managed to survive the awful treatment by Darth Vader, even if no one could foresee the consequences of such a torture. The more he stayed in the carbonite the less chances of recovery there were, both physical and mental, so she couldn't afford to lose precious time.
I'll save you Han, at any cost!
From the desk, she took her diary and recorded a few words, like she was used to doing every morning by then.
"I love you."
She intended to write it every day, for all the times she couldn't tell him personally. She had nothing else to cling to but that strong and undeniable feeling which bound them and that was the only certainty that she had left.
LEIA and LUKE – part 1
The princess had anxiously waited for Luke's return from the reconnoitering. She knew that he had gone to Tatooine in order to find out what had happened to Han and she hoped with all her heart to receive good news. Besides, the presence of the Jedi Knight, now that he had finally gained full conscience of his powers, was enough to reassure her and to partially lighten her from her sufferance, at least because she was seeing him suffering not knowing the reason why and, by trying to comfort him, she encouraged herself as well.
Neither of them loved to openly show their feelings, but it was plain that he had remained deeply upset after the fight against Darth Vader. He wasn't the smiling and reckless boy who had saved her on the Death Star anymore. Now he was much more serious and murky, like the dark Sith Lord had taken a part of his soul.
She had never asked him anything about that episode because she didn't want to force him to recall those bad memories. Besides, after the escape from Bespin, the relationship between them had deeply changed as well. She had been the only one who had heard Luke's desperate call through the Force and by then she was aware of the strong bond which connected them, on a mental level mostly, like some sort of telepathy which made them feel near even when they were light years distant… Almost as if they were twins…
It would be nice to know that part of my family is still by my side. She thought, trying to send away a sudden sense of loneliness.
Seeing the Jedi Knight getting off his X-Wing, she quickened her pace in order to reach him. She was prey to agitation, but didn't want to start running, at least not before knowing that there was a valid reason to celebrate.
«Luke! You're finally back!»
He greeted her with a brilliant smile and hugged her politely, anticipating the effect of the good news he was going to give her.
«Yeah, I'm finally back… and with great news!»
«The mission on Tatooine has had the outcome we hoped for?» Leia's face didn't betray any feeling yet, but her beautiful eyes had lightened up with hope.
«Yes, I think that soon Han will be back with us» Luke confirmed.
Not managing to control herself anymore, Leia gave up any moderation and hugged the Jedi Knight again, but in a much friendlier way, and, not satisfied, hugged D-3BO as well. The droid, unaware of everything, was approaching his master in order to greet him.
«Princess… Oh, Princess Leia… Forgive me, if I've done something bad, it wasn't my intention… please, don't switch me off…»
Luke looked at him questioningly and Leia, not understanding the droid's behaviour herself, asked him: «Switch you off?! And why should I?»
«Well, the last time I've been involved in a human hug I've been brutally switched off without any explanation!»
Leia immediately understood which episode he was referring to and plainly blushed. «It's true, you're right. Please, forgive me, but you were giving Captain Solo some information that he absolutely didn't need to know… or better, that I carefully wanted to avoid giving him!»
«Message received, Princess, I'll try not to repeat this mistake anymore. Now, Master Luke, if you will allow me, I'll take care to collect unit C1-P8 for the routine check-up.»
«Okay, you can go. Take care of C1-P8… he was eager to see you as well.»
Luke's curiosity though had kindled. He was positive that Leia was hiding something from him about her feelings, but, at the same time, was afraid to reveal that truth that he already knew in his heart.
«So… What were you saying about D-3BO? Why did you switch him off?» He carefully asked her.
She avoided looking him in the eyes while as she answered him: «Nothing serious, I simply didn't want Han to know of certain private issues, but D-3BO, during one of his excesses of loquacity, had given them to him on a silver plate!»
She didn't want to talk about that more that what was strictly necessary, but it turned out difficult for her to pretend nothing had happened, since the memory of that moment was particularly dear to her.
LEIA'S MEMORIES
The relationship between Han and D-3BO had never been flawless and the fact that the droid was always in the wrong place at the wrong moment, especially during the trip to Bespin, had done nothing but increase Han's intolerance towards him.
In a rare occasion, though, the smuggler had found interesting to do some talking with his bionic mate…
«Sir, I repeat that the possibility of sailing with success in a field of asteroids is far lower than the one of surviving to a night on Hot outside of the military base. It's three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one against seven hundred seventy-five to one. I'm not wrong about these things!»
Leia reached Han and D-3BO in the small living room of the Falcon, just in time to see the intolerant expression of the Corellian.
«Excuse me professor! What I meant to say is that lately I've done many crazy things to get us out of trouble!» At seeing the princess' look of reproach, tired of their continual squabbles, Han's sarcasm changed its target, even if he pretended to keep on talking to D-3BO: «Sure… if that time I hadn't listened to you and I had remained inside of the base, instead of rushing in the snow storm in order to look for your master, my possibilities of survival would've been higher!»
«But sir, that hadn't been my initiative. Princess Leia had prayed me to inform you that Master Luke hadn't come back to the base yet and I had just obeyed to her orders.»
Leia hadn't fully sensed the dangerousness of that subject yet, but her instinct told her to keep her guard high. She knew Han too well not to know that he was plotting something. After the episode of the kiss, they had had a singular clarifying talk during which he had granted her a pause… Deep down, though, the smuggler was working at her sides and by then she felt she was close to the final surrender.
«I know that the order came from the princess. And, by chance, had you referred the possibilities of a good outcome of the mission to her as well?» Han had drawn nearer and nearer to D-3BO and so had Leia, worried by the turn the talking had taken.
«As a matter of fact yes… But only when the closing of the steel clad doors was already inevitable. The princess was already broken-hearted because of Master Luke and because of you. There was no need to upset her more.»
«Broken-hearted? For me as well?» Leia visibly blushed while Han, right in front of her, looked at her incredulous and amused at the same time. Moving without being noticed, the princess tried to reach the switch situated on the droid's back, but she found Han's hand hindering her purpose.
«No, wait honey. Don't switch him off… this is interesting!» He whispered, winking at her.
The droid was totally unaware of the fight that was happening behind him. His task was to answer the question he'd been asked and to do it in the most exhaustive way possible: «Yes, sure. The princess felt guilty because she had pushed you in that crazy rescuing venture, and she was wondering for what absurd reason you had decided to listen to her that time, when usually you have fun doing the contrary…»
«D-3BO! Spare the captain the useless details, you know that sentimentalisms bother him…» Leia tried to free her hand from Han's grasp, but her efforts were vain.
As if nothing had happened, the other went on: «Your Highness had also added that she would've never had peace in case you, Captain Solo, hadn't come back and…»
«Thank for having recalled those nice moments for us! You deserve a hug because of this.» Desperate, Leia tried to press the turn-off switch with her free hand, launching herself towards the droid in order to precede her opponent, but Han anticipated her once more.
«Hey, wait you goldenrod. Let me hug you as well… I don't know how to thank you for this revelation!»
«What's happening? What's gotten into you?! …Princess c-a-n you ex-pl-a-iin…» After having elbowed Han, Leia had managed to switch D-3BO off, but just now, in that sudden silence, she had noticed her embarrassing position.
«So? Do you still want to deny the evidence? Even if you don't want to admit it, you were worried for me…» The tone of the smuggler had softened, but his arms held her firmly.
«Of course I was worried, knowing your stubbornness! I hate to lose human lives under my orders, especially if they are my best men.»
«Hold on a second… you talked in the plural…Weird, when we got back to the base you didn't so much as to say a word to me, not even a simple "thank you"! You only had eyes for Luke…»
«This is because I can express my feelings better with him, I don't have to pay attention to every word I say!» She had to find a way to get out of that trap and fast, but it wasn't easy to get free since Han, located behind her, was holding her tight in his embrace and in front of her there was D-3BO, stuck in a quite bizarre way.
«You didn't use many words when you came to check on his conditions! Why didn't you use the same language with me as well?»
«Because you always want to have the last word and… you would've found the way to reply to that as well.»
Slowly turning towards him, she had deliberately used a more sensual tone and, by doing so, she realized that she had completely monopolized his attention. She liked to see that, by kissing Luke, she had managed to make him jealous, but, thinking about it when she had calmed down, she had deeply regretted that incautious and quite not regal gesture.
«You can bet on it! I love to reply, especially in that way!» He gave her a knowing smile as he started to slowly reduce the distance.
That feeling again: the magnet! The princess thought, clearly feeling a strong attraction towards him. At that point, D-3BO's talking was the lesser evil. In fact, maybe it was the only way to come out of that situation but, if she wanted to reactivate the droid, she had to keep on distracting Han…
«Right… And what about the agreement we have entered into? It doesn't seem you're keeping your word…»
«Yes, but you are instigate me! I promise you that what will happen will remain a secret between us. I won't tell anyone.»
Not managing to tear his gaze away from his anymore, Leia thought that resisting Han Solo was the worse torture she had ever experienced in her life. Compared to that, surviving Darth Vader on the Death Star had been a piece of cake!
What if I didn't stop him at all? What if I let him do what he wants? Deep down, she wasn't so sure she wanted to stop him anymore, in fact, desire was becoming stronger each day, especially if he looked at her that way.
«I know. You've already told me that you're a nice man, but…»
«I understand if you're afraid, sometimes I'm also scared by how I feel.» He confessed with humility. «When I realized that I was continuously risking my life without having the slightest personal account… Well I've finally opened my eyes and I realized I'm in a big mess!»
«Mess?» She repeated, thinking over it. «Yeah. I think this is the most suitable word to define the situation between us… » Even though she remained serious, she tried a sort of amusement as she admitted it and that was exactly the kind of encouragement he was expecting.
Leia's hand reached D-3BO's switch just as Han was softly leaning down to kiss her. Apparently, her intention had been to switch on the droid again just a moment before that happened, but a slight hesitation had been fatal to her.
For what seemed like ages, he indulged on her lips, tasting and tempting her at the same time, with soft and sensual movements, a bit like when they kissed for the first time, in that narrow cabin of the Falcon. This time though, Leia, astonished by the instinctive reaction of her body, parted her lips once she felt the slightly more resolute contact. So what had started as an innocent kiss risked to swiftly turn into something far more demanding… with full participation of both.
Overcome by those sensations which were suddenly pulsing inside her head, Leia let her arm slip along D-3BO's back, looking for a better place to put it. But by doing so she ended right on the switch she'd been trying to activate before.
Click!
Noticing the mischief with the last gleam of reason remained, she struggled from Han's grip just before the droid came into operation.
«Excuse me, I don't remember where we were anymore… Has someone switched me off?»
Han's expression went through astonishment, because of her sudden reaction, to disappointment, because he'd just then understood her true intentions, to anger towards D-3BO since not only had he interrupted them for the second time, but he insisted on demanding attention with his usual impertinent way.
The smuggler left in long strides muttering under his breath. Before leaving the room, he turned saying: «Princess, this doesn't end here!» And, in his usual challenging way, he added: «Anyway we're two-zero! Don't you think it's time to give up?»
She was so confused and upset that she didn't even manage to reply. By then, Bespin was close and, with it, the time of the truth. But she seriously feared she wouldn't manage to resist till then…
LUKE and LEIA – part 2
Luke was still in front of her. He was seeing all the expressions that memory had recalled passing on her beautiful face and he didn't have the courage to take her mind off her thoughts. When he finally saw her coming back to reality, he asked in an almost imperceptible way: «Do you love him?»
Yes.
Leia didn't even need a second to think about that, but, noticing Luke's pained expression, she couldn't find the courage to tell him the truth in such a direct way, knowing well the feelings the Jedi Knight had for her.
«You see, Luke… During the travel towards Bespin, many things happened that made me change my opinion about Han… »
«Sure… I see. In the end he has a good heart and maybe you've always taken him from the wrong side.»
«Yeah.» She bitterly stated.
«But he's never hidden his interest towards you, while I thought that you…»
«I've just opened my eyes to what I've never wanted to see before.» She looked him in the eyes for a long moment, then decided that the time had come for her to get free from that unbearable weight: «I ask you to forgive me, Luke. I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but I can't keep on hiding the truth from you… I think that you already know what answer I'm going to give you.»
«Yes. I've been knowing the answer for a bit.» He admitted. «And I think that, in the end, it's right this way. It pains me to see you suffer, but we will manage to save Han, you'll see. I love him very much as well and I won't allow Jabba to hurt him. He has already been through a lot of troubles because of both of us!»
The Jedi Knight felt a weird sensation: she had just given him the information he feared the most, but now he felt inexplicably relieved, like an even stronger and deeper bond had formed between them. The Force linked them, he was certain about that, and the fact that Leia had chosen Han instead of him couldn't be anything else but a sign, now it was his turn to interpret it in the right way.
Finally, he felt at peace with himself, he had no resentment and no remorse. Han and Leia represented what of dearest he had and he'd do anything to see them happy.
MEMORIES OF A DROID
D-3BO spent the whole day feverishly trying to recover a recollection in his memory and when he finally found what he was looking for, he ran to the regal rooms, hoping at least to be partially forgiven for what had happened on the Falcon. Often, human feelings escaped the logic of his circuits, that's why he hadn't realized at all that he had created embarrassment to the princess because of his chattering… And he also hadn't suspected the fact that she was so bound to Captain Solo, even if he had had a quite evident demonstration of the mutual interest in front of his eyes!
That evening, Leia was surprised to find the droid in front of her door. To have a dialogue with D-3BO at that time wasn't really into her projects, it had been a tough day and she only felt the need to stay alone a bit, in order to freely vent her emotions. Anyway, patiently, she approached him, politely asking the reason of his visit.
«Princess, excuse me. I wanted to apologize because of this morning and… because of what I said to Captain Solo.»
Relieved, Leia smiled and assured him: «Don't worry, after all it has been better that way. Besides, you'll see that soon Captain Solo will come back to torment you!»
«Ah, but this is wonderful news! Then you'll find my present useless since you'll soon have the original here…»
«I don't understand, what do you mean? What present are you talking about?» Again Leia, was finding hard to follow what the droid was saying.
«Here, you see… it's about my visual memory. I put on this tape all the things that I thought you would like to see again, I hope I haven't made a mistake this time as well! Good night Princess.»
D-3BO went away with his unmistakable shuffling pace, leaving a small device in her hand. Leia hadn't the faintest idea of what that could be but, curious, she entered her room, inserted the object into a projector and, when the ologram started to form itself in front of her eyes, she felt a tear running along all the side of her face.
Again, she saw her fingers softly passing through Han's hair as he gripped her hand, the one which should have passed as dirty and sore. They were so beautiful together, so sweet, so passionate… As she observed the scene from an external point of view, she realized that the kind of feeling which bound them was already plain enough and she wondered how she could have denied it for such a long time.
«Sir, sir! I've isolated the reverse power flux coupling.» The droid's hand popped out from a side of the image, going to tap on Han's shoulder.
«Thank you. Thank you very much.» Leia laughed between the tears as she saw the smuggler's sharp gaze. D-3BO had truly risked a lot by interrupting him that way!
«Oh, you're perfectly welcome, sir.»
As the projection faded, she saw Han's face growing sad after he had realized that she had run away. She still felt ashamed for that childish behaviour, but something had been stronger than herself. Everything had happened so fast that she hadn't been able to immediately make a reason of it, she had needed some time – too much time – to recognize the truth.
I'm convinced that this isn't just a memory impressed in the circuits of a droid, but the premise to what the future reserves to us. Soon, we'll be together again and we will make up for everything that has been taken from us. We will live this wonderful moment again and we will have many more, even more beautiful if possible.
I believe in you Han… and most of all I believe in us!